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Post by Lin on May 14, 2015 10:09:21 GMT -5
This is the article I submitted for the new book.. LIN
I lived with active alcoholism my entire life. By the time I found Alanon I was ready for a change. But I thought the alcoholics in my life were the only ones who needed to change. I found out I also needed to change. The Serenity Prayer helped remind me that with acceptance, wisdom, and courage I could change and my life would be better. A slogan also inspired me---“Nothing changes if nothing changes”. I was reacting to the actions of others by screaming, trying to control. I had turned my back on my Higher Power. I decided I would continue to be unhappy if I didn’t learn to change. It was a gradual process but I learned to accept the alcoholics in my life as they are….not try to change them. I started to see them with compassion instead of disgust. I found ways to detach with love. I can love them even when I don’t like their actions. I don’t have to like something to accept it. By working with my sponsor and working the steps, I was able to change the way I treat others. I have learned to rely on my Higher Power. I use prayer and meditation to find solutions. When faced with a problem I have learned to pray and get out of the way. I don’t try to control others. They have a responsibility for their own actions. Today I am happy because I have changed.
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Post by majestyjo on May 16, 2015 17:49:16 GMT -5
Great share Lin, it took me a while. I decided to join them. I played the blame game and stayed sick for a long time until there was no one left to point the finger at, and all I had left was me.
I chose not to live with my As. With my own addiction, we just seemed to feed off of each other. I had to ask my son to leave. There have been times, in recovery after I got sober and was in Al-Anon, that he has stayed with me, but even then, I had to ask him to leave, depending on where he was at in his addiction. If he didn't adhere to my boundaries, then he wasn't allowed to bring his disease into my safe place. I will not accept abuse in today, be it mental, emotional, or physical, I suffered it for too many years.
My son has lived in shelters and has been homeless. I have fed him because I don't like to see him hungry, and yet he has been in recovery at least 5 times, and he still chooses to continue to use. He is working. Work means money to use. When he isn't working, he is depressed and very hard to be around. I pray for him daily and it hurts some days to see him, but there is nothing more I can do for him.
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Post by Lin on May 17, 2015 6:50:05 GMT -5
I totally understand why you had to ask him to leave. Thanks for your reply.
LIN
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 27, 2016 0:27:59 GMT -5
My son has been talking about going to detox, but he is not willing to go until he is finished work and has run out of money. Detox is the last straw for him or he will continue to use until he dies. He may choose to carry the message, "To use is to die." I hope he doesn't go that far, because he knows there is another way. When he was in recovery before, he was not willing to quit and do the do things. All I can do is pray.
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