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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 18, 2003 14:53:08 GMT -5
Surviving Slumps
A slump can go on for days. We feel sluggish, unfocused, and sometimes overwhelmed with feelings we can't sort out. We may not understand what is going on with us. Even our attempts to practice recovery behaviors may not appear to work. We still don't feel emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as good as we would like.
In a slump, we may find ourselves reverting instinctively to old patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, even when we know better. We may find ourselves obsessing, even when we know that what we're doing is obsessing and that it doesn't work.
We may find ourselves looking frantically for other people to make us feel better, the whole time knowing our happiness and well being does not lay with others.
We may begin taking things personally that are not our issues, and reacting in ways we've learned all to well do not work.
We're in a slump. It won't last forever. These periods are normal, even necessary. These are the days to get through. These are the days to focus on recovery behaviors, whether or not the rewards occur immediately. These are sometimes the days to let ourselves be and love ourselves as much as we can.
We don't have to be ashamed, no matter how long we've been recovering. We don't have to unreasonably expect "more" from ourselves. We don't ever have to expect ourselves to live life perfectly.
Get through the slump. It will end. Sometimes, a slump can go on for days and then, in the course of an hour, we see ourselves pull out of it and feel better. Sometimes it can last a little longer.
Practice one recovery behavior in one small area, and begin to climb uphill. Soon, the slump will disappear. We can never judge where we will be tomorrow by where we are today.
Today, I will focus on practicing one recovery behavior on one of my issues, trusting that this practice will move me forward. I will remember that acceptance, gratitude, and detachment are a good place to begin.
Book: "The Language Of Letting Go"
Author: Melody Beattie
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Post by SunnyGirl on Jan 7, 2011 16:00:59 GMT -5
I wasn't sure how to title my post, but just kinda felt like I needed to make one.... I decided to go back through some of the old posts and this one caught my eye!
I think all of us have peaks and valleys as we go through life and right now I kinda feel like I'm in the valley. Losing Mom was pretty rough on me, but that's to be expected. I'm choosing not to dwell on my loss but to bring back old memories, happy times we spent together and good times we shared. I found a box of pictures, they date back over a period of almost 20 years or better and I'm going to have to sort them and put them in albums. I like to think of this process as making lemonade out of lemons.....
My younger sister has always been a test for me and I have found myself taking her comments personally. Luckily my recovery tools seem to be helping me to deal with her a little more effectively. Mom left no legal will, but her hand written will made the older sis in charge of the property and her belongings. Younger sis is not at all happy with this arrangement and keeps trying to put me in the middle of it! I finally had to tell her that she need to talk to the older sis and not involve me in it. They have a long history of major spats as older sis does not allow her to speak ugly to her and will give as much as she gets.... I am practicing detachment as there is nothing I can do change this situation! We live through the slumps and keep practicing recovery and do the best we can each day!
Learning to live life one day at a time and sometimes one moment at a time..... Peace on the journey, SG
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Post by caressa on Jan 8, 2011 7:44:35 GMT -5
When I saw the word slump, I questioend the word. It is a very descriptive word, and goes with your Tweety Bird. My thought was grieving is a natural process and we need to go with it and acknowledge our feelings and take care of ourselves as we go through it. For me, half of the battle is recognizing where I am at and not beating myself up for being there.
I kept thinking, I am powerless. When I surrender, I am empowered. Be it dealing with my addiciton, my day to day life, my sister, my son, my next door neighbor, when I turn them over to my Higher Power, things are just so much better.
From what you have written, I would say you handled things well. Endorse yourself! Give thanks to God for His Guidance, Courage and Strength. Hopefully, your younger sister will connect one day with her own Higher Power so she won't have to continue to act out in her own dis-ease.
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Post by BW on Jan 8, 2011 14:16:01 GMT -5
Yes life does contain peaks and valleys..we may not like them but they are a part of life...For me today I must walk thru the valleys and it makes the views from the peaks that much more beautiful and refreshing.
It is always painful and difficult to lose a loved one. Unfortunately it does often times bring out the worst in some individuals. In my nursing carreer I saw so much that, at times it was difficult for me to wrap my head around much what I saw. I had to practice detachment.. When I lost my father 3 years ago I struggled with my own emotions around the power plays of my siblings and felt the same pull you described. I am profundly grateful for the tools of this recovery journey that has taught me the importance of healthy boundaries and balance and going to my peaceful center and pausing to ask for inspiration and guidance..
Presently my mother is in an assited living facility and is talking about her end time. I know when that time comes the emotional power plays will be so much harder and more chaotic as she was the self appointed "head of the household" and as such kept the dysfunctional aspects of the family hidden in the brush deep in the valley.
Consequently when the selected few got into recovery we became the black sheep of the family out of thier own fear that those deep dark secrets would come out into the light. The valleys became deeper for us...as far they were concerned but what they didn't know wasa that thru God's grace and the power of our recovery program the peaks were strikingly beuatiful becasue hope and faithwere our beacons & guided us.
Tho the 2 of us in recovery are the black sheep, when disaster hits, we are called on and attmpts are made to be dragged in...They attempt to polevault over or plow down our boundaries. When we resist or use the spiritual tools at our disposal we are accused of many unkind things...
Bottom line is..Yes, it hurts...however, It doesn't matter...We have TRUTH on our side...We are armed with faith. The Big Book says..."I ask myself...How important is it.really? .How important is it compared to myserenity, my emotional sobriety?" [could also be emotional recovery for those in different recovery programs]
When in an emotionally charged situation I use that pause button & I ask the question that I found in our 12 X 12 ..."What would the Master do?" and once again it takes me from the lowest point in the valley to the highest mountain peak to sit with God and I am once again at peace..
Thanx You SG for a great topic
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Post by SunnyGirl on Jan 8, 2011 16:34:20 GMT -5
( ( ( ( Caressa ) ) ) ) thanks for the reply Somehow I never feel like I am quite living up to HIS standards.... When in an emotionally charged situation I use that pause button & I ask the question that I found in our 12 X 12 .... "What would the Master do?" and once again it takes me from the lowest point in the valley to the highest mountain peak to sit with God and I am once again at peace.. ( ( ( ( Fluttering ) ) ) ) thank you for sharing, I could relate! Sounds like that "pause buttom" is something I'll have to use in the future... I try to THINK before speaking, but I'm not always that quick on my feet! Peace on the journey, SG
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Post by caressa on Jan 8, 2011 16:47:10 GMT -5
Know what you mean SG but when I compare and try to meetin someone's expectations, even if it is what I feel God wants of me, I often feel less than. All we are asked to do is try. He does not understand.
I like the pause button too, when in doubt, I pause and I say: "God grant me...."
I can't always pause life, it does go on. Melody Beattie says we can pull on the blanket of denial which can be a form of comfort until such a time as we are ready to deal with what is on hand.
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 16, 2014 16:08:12 GMT -5
This comes close to describing how I am feeling in today. I have another month to feel this as it is a November reading. I have been doing a lot of meditation and asking for awareness and clarity as to what I need to do my part. Recovery begins with me, it isn't the other person. It is about taking ownership and what it is I need to change within me and what I need to do to change my attitude or what action I need to do to set a boundary. It sometimes seems like a slump, but often things are in transition, and we need to just be and allow things to change. The time isn't right and we don't need to push and make things happen, but allow things to unfold as they should, not as we would have them be.
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