Do I sometimes need to eat my words?

[caressa]

"If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?"

-- Erma Bombeck

When I saw this, I thought it read, "What am I doing with the pits?"

Both are worth thought and require action on my part. The 12 Steps are applicable to both.

Am I practicing the principles in all my affairs? Do I work the Steps into my daily life? Do I just think program in meetings and leave my program at the door when I go home, to work, or out into the community?

Do I think, oh woe is me? I am an alcoholic. I am so hard done by, forgetting that I should be grateful that I have found this new way of living. If I wasn't an alcoholic, I wouldn't have known that there was a chance at recovery.

Do I sometimes need to eat my words? Do I give others a second thought? Am I so caught up in self that I don't have time for others?

eor.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=spuds&thread=10340&page=1

[majestyjo]

Be aware of your motives

"Ordinarily, everything we do is in our self-interest. Everything."

-- Anthony de Mello

"Remember, most of the things you think you need are ego trips designed to bolster your image and your perception of security.... You'll waste a lot of energy satisfying your ego only to find that, as soon as it's got what it wants, it ignores all your efforts and promptly nails another list of demands to your forehead. The ego will always try to force you to slave for its vision. I wouldn't stand for that BS if I were you."

-- Stuart Wilde

"We have no need to teach pure motives to the mind. All that is necessary to make the mind pure is to undo the negative conditioning to which it has been subjected; then we will be left with pure, unconditioned awareness."

-- Eknath Easwaran

- Higher Awareness

My sponsor always said, "Examine your motive and your intent."  Make things right with your God, and walk in your own truth.  I thought I was honest, but it was self-honesty that really got me thinking and looking at myself, instead of the other person.  It isn't about them, it is about me and my recovery.  Do I walk my talk and do my words match my actions?  What you see is what you get.  A 73 year old lady who hasn't grown up yet and still wants to be 37.  People think I am young when they hear my voice.  I hardly have any wrinkles, although more in the past 5 years because of pain.  Age 57 was the best year of my life, I was taken as someone in their mid 40s and it fed the ego.  I went blonde at my son's suggestion.  When I turned 65, I let my hair grow out naturally, and I am liking the white hair, and yet I still get thoughts of colouring it.  Then I think, it is too much trouble.  

Quit with the masks already, it is okay to be you.    I have travelled through many looks and as a friend said, "Do you think that we won't know you every time you change your hair style and colour?"  One of my spiritual awakenings on my recovery journey.

As the song says, "Oh Lord, it is hard to be humble, when you are perfect in every way."  I said it, but internally I was always at war with myself, fearful of being me, putting on the mask(s), and trying to be the person I thought you wanted me to be.

What a gift recovery is.  It was so special to finally walk around and be comfortable in my own skin.  It is good to be able to admit when you are wrong.  It is good to be able to express yourself.  My sponsor said, "If you have recovery, show it!"  Clean up yourself, your persona, your mouth, your actions, and your old habits and behaviours.

The best way to get an attitude adjustment is to go to a meeting.

Attachments:

[majestyjo]

Going to eat while I digest what I read tonight.