I am just so very angry

[usdupn02]

I'm here to vent as I am so angry I am crying. Just spent 2 hours at ER with my 16 year old god-daughter who has a bad shoulder. Her mother decided tonight to get on her pity pot and not only ground the girl for getting caught lying to her but to also give her a big punch in the bad shoulder. Normally, I would go immediately to social services but since I did that many times 10 years ago to no avail and since Megan doesn't want her mom to get in trouble (this hasn't happened since 98), I've not said anything. Megan lied to the doctor about what happened. It's not that I don't know what should be done, but I don't know what good it will do. I've been very upset about this family for a long time and have tried to let go and let god. Now, since I have detached and let God do his work, this has happened. Makes me feel really shaky on the HP thing!! Thanks for letting me vent.

Janet

[Kathleen]

(((((((((Janet)))))))))))

My prayers are with you right now, I just went thought a some anger my self over my step son. My stuff has been going on for two years now with this kid. Well CSD dropped the whole thing, said there was nothing they could do.

I am only telling you thing cuz my heart goes out to you right now cuz I know the feelings well that you are walking though. But trust me, old HP does have a plan and some times it has to get worse before any thing can get better. We had to bright this step kid home after court last week. He has done the same thing all over again, but this time things are here are getting worse faster, and I know with out a dout old HP has a plan for this kid and I am going to stay out of HP'S way. Let him work with this kid.

So what I am trying to tell you trust, and please don't give up on your faith just yet. It is always darkest before the dawn.

Some one last week told me that it is when I am in the valley is were I do all of my growing. Hold on you are in a valley right now and it is all going to work out that way it is sapose to..

remember I love you my friend, and you are in my prayers.
Kathy

[Lin]

It's so sad that her own mother woudl punch her in a sore shoulder. And you are right...if you report her, it may do no good. I am happy that megan has you to take her to the ER. I am happy she has a step mother who cares about her. Megan will look back and see that, janet. She will realize it, if she does nto already, that YOU care abuto ehr and are there for her when she needs you. I'd be angry too. I am passionate when it comes to people abusing children or pets or elderly. I think it is disgraceful.

Kathleen said it well..HP has a plan. We may not understand what that plan is when we are in the middle of it, but there is a PLAN.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
LIN

[SunnyGirl]

( ( ( ( ( Janet ) ) ) ) )

Thank God your god-daughter has you in her
life......

I am afraid that if I were in your shoes, I would
want to confront this young girls mother. But,
then again, this could lead to you possibly losing
contact with her, when she needs you the most.

It seems to me that this could have happened
with or without your detaching. But ultimately,
God is in charge and you truly are powerless to
change this. If you go ahead and report this,
you stand the chance of alienating yourself from
your god-daughter.....

Stay strong and be there for her when she needs
you. Both of you will know when and if the mother
needs to be reported..... Keep the faith, God is
still in charge! Hugs and Prayers, SG

[usdupn02]

Thanks everyone for your ES&H. After a night's rest and lots of peanut m&m's and diet coke, things are a bit more clear. I know that HP is in charge here and am praying for guidance. I hope that I can tell the difference between guidance and what I want to do. I've decided to see if the Mom follows thru on what she and a mutual friend agreed upon (going into hospital until they get meds regulated and mental/emotional state under control). I'm going to talk to Megan and tell her that any time she needs a place to stay, I have a spare room and that just because I am not reporting any of this doesn't mean that I condone it. It just means that in the past, reporting anything got me nowhere but forbidden to see the children for 3 years. I'll just have to see what happens in the next few days before making any further decisions.

((Kathleen)) sorry to hear that things are quickly deteriorating where your step son is concerned. Waiting to see what HP has in mind is a real pain in the #$$ sometimes.

Thanks again to all....Janet

[SunnyGirl]

Mornin Janet,

I will keep you and Megan in my prayers.....

Hugs, SG

[dg]

Hi Janet,
I am sorry that I didn't get to response to yoru post.

Your god daughter has the best "god mom" ever. You are an inspiration to her. Keep letting Megan know that you will be there no matter what.

Better yet, you could get her a prepaid calling card in case she ever needs to call you from a pay phone for you to pick her up if something goes wrong. Just a thought.

Keep up the faith, and God bless.

[usdupn02]

Dg...Thanks for the idea for phone cards. I bought one for each girl last night and told them to keep them with them for emergencies. Gave me some peace of mind and let them know that someone was trying to watch out for them. Again thanks for the great idea.

Janet

[rosepedilgirl]

being a step sister always does the same thing to me.

believe me if i wasn't related, would i even be her friend..


its hard because i don't have any children of my own.

and her's a step sister with three wonderful babies,

that i know i could do a better job with! lol...

but i also have to know , i can only enjoy the time i have with them..

she's doing the best that she can... they push her
to all limits.

now that they are close. i spent alot of my days with or around the children.

it makes me happier, knowing they are not scared,

they know they have me three blocks away.

and they can call now , its not long distance. i have

taught them all my number , every night i get a call

hearing three little voices saying i love you......

call me,, and tell me you love me ,,,lol..

every night i make sure i return the call............!

so remember, we can't always change the way things

are, but we can make a difference just being where...

each day stop and take the time to say i love you,

and i am here if you need me for anything..


adopting someone heart only takes a second..

but it gives a lifetime of rewards.......

@--(---(-------- mjo

[Teiger]

You and Megan are in my prayers, Janet. You are a good god mother and I am sure Megan knows that.

Love,

Karen

[byathread]

Janet...as a child care provider/teacher, I am a mandated child abuse reporter, so perhaps I am biased here. I feel as the responsible adult here, you must report this abuse. Ten years ago, nothing might have happened, and that is unfortunate. But now, things might be different. Which is more important to you? That the abuse stops for your goddaughter, or that nothing might happen if you report? If social services won't respond, then call the police when you are at the ER. The ER doctors are mandated reporters as well, and if you tell them the truth, they must report it, and not necessarily you. Sometimes "let go and let god" isn't quite enough. A child has no other advocates and protectors than those of us who are responsible adults in their lives. Waiting for the mother to change her ways is like waiting for the alcoholic to stop drinking...how long would you take physical abuse from an alcoholic spouse? Or how long would you watch an alcoholic relative abuse YOUR children? Sorry to be so bold, but this is an important subject to me. Your goddaughter needs your love and support, and even phone cards for emergencies, etc., but she also needs your help. Good luck to you all!

[usdupn02]

Thanks again to all that have responded. The current status is not wonderful but at least managable.

Being aware of the law, it was reported. However, the system does not always work. I still abide by the laws, but have little faith in the system handling of cases. Rest assured that once an investigation commences, a family often has a good idea where the report came from even tho it is "confidential". The children seldom are taken out of the home unless it is eminant danger or blatant neglect and the parents then make sure that the children have limited or no contact with the people that have reported the situation. That doesn't neccessarly help either. All of this is a round-about way of saying, yes there is a law that must be followed but sometimes there are other circumstances to be considered. It is a very difficult situation for everyone involved.
Janet

[SunnyGirl]

I have read many instances of child abuse that went
unreported...... It breaks my heart to think that no one
cared enough to take a stand.

But, I have also read about reported cases of abuse,
that end up in the lap of a social service worker, who is
over burdened. There was no action taken against the
parents and resulted in the death of a child.

Janet, I know that your heart is there with the children,
keeping the door open and in contact with them is so
important. You will know when/if it is time to take further
action. I pray it is God's will, that these kids will know
happiness and soon be able to feel safe. I know they will
always know that you were there for them.
You and this family are in my prayers.....

Hugs, SG