Post by caressa on Jan 22, 2011 0:07:50 GMT -5
What is Hope? Where do we look for it. Do we look to someone or something else, to fill our needs.
Are we self-sufficient and think no one else can help us, but ourselves. Do we place all our hope on ourselves, and when we fall short of our expectations, do we beat ourselves up, use and feel less than, which in turn gives us a false pride, ego, and sense of self. Are we full of despair and feel that there is no way out? Please keep coming, and if you don't get the program, the program will get you. It did me!
Trust is something we don't have a lot of and learning to put that trust in something else is a big risk in early recovery. Yet my best thoughts and actions got me here, and my first meeting gave me hope that finally I had found a way that worked. Something that would allow me to have hope, as I had been struggling, especially with self, all of my lifee. My first hope was that the program would work for me. No self-esteem, self-care, self-respect, self-worth, not knowing that I had been giving up my power and that I needed to learn that it was okay to be me.
Many times I put my trust in people and found that they weren't capable of being trustworthy. Other times, people would sabatoge my recovery because of their own denial. If I had a problem, then just maybe they did too. If they could get me to drink, then I had the problem not them.
It was difficult to trust myself, and through trusting God, I found trust in myself.
That hope was given to me by those who came before me. It is only right that I pass their message on to others what was so freely given to me. I can't keep it if I don't give it away.
Are we self-sufficient and think no one else can help us, but ourselves. Do we place all our hope on ourselves, and when we fall short of our expectations, do we beat ourselves up, use and feel less than, which in turn gives us a false pride, ego, and sense of self. Are we full of despair and feel that there is no way out? Please keep coming, and if you don't get the program, the program will get you. It did me!
Trust is something we don't have a lot of and learning to put that trust in something else is a big risk in early recovery. Yet my best thoughts and actions got me here, and my first meeting gave me hope that finally I had found a way that worked. Something that would allow me to have hope, as I had been struggling, especially with self, all of my lifee. My first hope was that the program would work for me. No self-esteem, self-care, self-respect, self-worth, not knowing that I had been giving up my power and that I needed to learn that it was okay to be me.
Many times I put my trust in people and found that they weren't capable of being trustworthy. Other times, people would sabatoge my recovery because of their own denial. If I had a problem, then just maybe they did too. If they could get me to drink, then I had the problem not them.
It was difficult to trust myself, and through trusting God, I found trust in myself.
That hope was given to me by those who came before me. It is only right that I pass their message on to others what was so freely given to me. I can't keep it if I don't give it away.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.