Post by caressa on Jul 21, 2011 23:33:52 GMT -5
Often lately, I have found myself in a space that I didn't like. I am reminded that I am there as a result of decisions made.
A good example was looking up to the wall in my hospital bed and seeing a cross with a figure on it, that didn't look like Jesus and could have been a saint or just a poor portrayal of His image. I immediately get my back up when I see Christ portrayed on a cross. For me that is past, and the reason I have freedom is because He is no longer there.
I can go from religious to being sacrilegious and my thought was "Get off the cross, we need the wood." That was probably closer to my situation and thinking, as I didn't want to go to the hospital but because I was having dizzy spells I thought I should have it checked out. I have chest pains all the time and tend to ignore them. People say don't do that, but one of these day, I wouldn't want it to be something different and I end up with a stroke. Best I am safe than sorry and as often as I say that, I was ticked off at myself for having gone to the hospital and subjected myself to the noise, the cold, and the uncomfortable bed!
I got thinking, there are people who need this bed, best they let me out of here and it was my own impatience and intolerance of the situation. Needless to say they thought my situation warrented hospitalizing me instead of just keeping me in emergency.
They didn't have extra strength tyenol so they gave me two regular ones and I questioned the extra pill. Yet I didn't get fed or have my medication when I normally took it and ended up with a head ache. I was reminded that beggers can't be choosers. I only had a cheese tea biscuit before I went in. I didn't expect to be there very long. And around 11 p.m. can't remember exact time but a dear nurse scrounged up a dinner that had seen better days, but it was food. I love shepherd's pie. I may be inclined to look at it with suspect next time I see it or with a little more appreciation when I next make the decision to have some.
Another good thing is that I have a home care case worker coming to see me next Tuesday. I have a mental block with regards to this but trying to be open about the help. I assoicate having to ask for help with the poor mes, which isn't how it should be and certainly isn't how it works. I think I have asked and been told 'no' or you can't do that, it isn't right, or the body language made me think I was an imposition and I ended up thinking, the next time I will do it myself. It is up to me what I take on and someone can't make me feel something unless I allow them to make me feel that way.
Not sure which direction this was suppose to take, whether it makes sense, or whether the content matches the title, but what is said is said.
Stay in the moment, stay in the day. God will lead and direct you if you take your wants and needs to Him.
A good example was looking up to the wall in my hospital bed and seeing a cross with a figure on it, that didn't look like Jesus and could have been a saint or just a poor portrayal of His image. I immediately get my back up when I see Christ portrayed on a cross. For me that is past, and the reason I have freedom is because He is no longer there.
I can go from religious to being sacrilegious and my thought was "Get off the cross, we need the wood." That was probably closer to my situation and thinking, as I didn't want to go to the hospital but because I was having dizzy spells I thought I should have it checked out. I have chest pains all the time and tend to ignore them. People say don't do that, but one of these day, I wouldn't want it to be something different and I end up with a stroke. Best I am safe than sorry and as often as I say that, I was ticked off at myself for having gone to the hospital and subjected myself to the noise, the cold, and the uncomfortable bed!
I got thinking, there are people who need this bed, best they let me out of here and it was my own impatience and intolerance of the situation. Needless to say they thought my situation warrented hospitalizing me instead of just keeping me in emergency.
They didn't have extra strength tyenol so they gave me two regular ones and I questioned the extra pill. Yet I didn't get fed or have my medication when I normally took it and ended up with a head ache. I was reminded that beggers can't be choosers. I only had a cheese tea biscuit before I went in. I didn't expect to be there very long. And around 11 p.m. can't remember exact time but a dear nurse scrounged up a dinner that had seen better days, but it was food. I love shepherd's pie. I may be inclined to look at it with suspect next time I see it or with a little more appreciation when I next make the decision to have some.
Another good thing is that I have a home care case worker coming to see me next Tuesday. I have a mental block with regards to this but trying to be open about the help. I assoicate having to ask for help with the poor mes, which isn't how it should be and certainly isn't how it works. I think I have asked and been told 'no' or you can't do that, it isn't right, or the body language made me think I was an imposition and I ended up thinking, the next time I will do it myself. It is up to me what I take on and someone can't make me feel something unless I allow them to make me feel that way.
Not sure which direction this was suppose to take, whether it makes sense, or whether the content matches the title, but what is said is said.
Stay in the moment, stay in the day. God will lead and direct you if you take your wants and needs to Him.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.