STAY

[caressa]

Don't 'keep coming back' just stay.

- Walk Softly and Carry A Big Book

Have always liked the saying, "Keep coming so you don't have to come back.

I just kept going to meetings, took the body and slowly but surely, the mind followed.

I was so grateful to those who did my research for me. I went to meetings and saw people coming in and they carried a great message for me, "It is no better out there."

Others carried the message "To use is to die." I listened.

Going back was never an option. I chose life! I chose to stay.

[caressa]

The new year gives me an option. Do I stay in my dis-ease, or do I look for the easier softer way, by burying my feelings, not looking at reality, and not staying into today, but projecting into the future with fear and insecurities.

I need to walk in faith, be secure in the Power of my God, and know that what He leads me to, He will see me through. I am no longer alone. Me alone with me can be bad company, so I choose to ask my God to stay a part of my life daily. I no longer can go to meetings, but I went to a meeting here last night, and I come on the recovery boards and share.

May you choose to STAY, do not play Russian Roulette with your life.

[caressa]

Alkiespeaks:

When I slide over from being 'On the Program' to 'Self Will Run Riot' it's seamless. There's no bump, no warning, I'm just there. That's why I need Step 1O. - Trip S.

Never heard this concept before. I was told, whenever I felt comfortable, it was time to move on or take a look at where I was because I might be in an old behavior that no longer serves me in recovery.

I always need Step 10, the biggest lesson I learned was to work it all day long, not just morning and night. It saved me a lot of detours and helped me over a lot of roadblocks.

Will have to give this more thought. I feel that I am in God's will when I turn my day over each morning. When I go with the flow, things unfold as they should. If I fight it and debate as to what I should do or not do, there is a good chance, I am say, "I hear you but I am not willing to do that right now, later!" A sure sign for me, is to go downtown and not see one person I know when I am there. I is a sure sign and indicator, that I am running away from home, and I should have stayed home and did the dishes or the laundry.

It doesn't have to be recovery people, but when it is, it is bonus!

"On the program" can mean your there, but just there for what you can get, not willing to participate. A lot depends on how you are involved as to whether you are sober or whether you are looking for sobriety.

"In the program" means for me, to be active in service, helping others, and attending regularly. You are involved and not just going to a meeting and taking up space.

I was told to bring the body and the mind will follow. It was a long process. My eyes were on the program, at first I wasn't even sure what the program was. I just kept coming back.

Just for today, I choose not to use. I choose to stay clean and sober.