Post by SunnyGirl on Mar 24, 2004 16:22:08 GMT -5
I spent a lot of years beating myself up for not
seeing the drug abuse beginning. For not doing
something to "fix the addict". Then began the
guilt, I carried a suit case full of guilt around with
me for many years. There were days that I almost
felt I hated the addict, for bringing this curse into
my family. I secretly wondered if they wouldn't
be better off dead as opposed to slowly killing
themselves and hurting all of us. There were
wars in my family, raw wounds that seemed they
would never heal. My entire family was falling apart
and I had never felt so helpless and hurt in my life.
When I got my computer, I began searching for
information about drug abuse. I wanted to know what
caused it and how I could fix it. I searched for days
and fianally came across a small site that reached out
to families of the addicts. They said there was "help
and hope"...... This is what finally led me to 12-step
recovery and the beginning of my journey.
I have let go of the guilt......
It didnt happen over night, it's been a slow process
of healing one day at a time. I began online Nar-Anon
meetings and met others that had been where I was.
I had a small network of recovery friends, that I would
call or email, on the days when I didnt think I would
make it. Reaching out was the first step in my recovery!
Setting boundaries was a vital part of my recovery. The
boundaries helped me grow in self-esteem. I learned
to love and value myself again and to let go of the
guilt and shame. Many of my first attempts were
really issuing ultimatums, but from them I learned to ask
for what I needed and was prepared to stand my ground.
I learned to detach with love and let go of my need to
be in control. I learned that I do not have the power
to change the addict, no matter how much I loved them.
I renewed my faith in God and intrusted HIM with the
care of my addict. My plans to "help" the A had never
worked, HIS plan for the A was a perfect one and I
had to trust HIM.
Addiction is a disease..... The actions of an addict are
symptoms of this disease! My part in the insanity ended
when I began to work the steps and put them to work
in my life. Setting boundaries, learning to detach, using
the tools of recovery have led me to a place where I
can finally say, I have found peace and serenity in my
life. Not every day is a perfect one, but even on the bad
days, there is a lesson for me to learn. I will never
graduate from this 12 step program it is a way of life,
meant to be lived ONE DAY AT A TIME....
Please share your experience, strength and hope......
Peace on the journey, SG
seeing the drug abuse beginning. For not doing
something to "fix the addict". Then began the
guilt, I carried a suit case full of guilt around with
me for many years. There were days that I almost
felt I hated the addict, for bringing this curse into
my family. I secretly wondered if they wouldn't
be better off dead as opposed to slowly killing
themselves and hurting all of us. There were
wars in my family, raw wounds that seemed they
would never heal. My entire family was falling apart
and I had never felt so helpless and hurt in my life.
When I got my computer, I began searching for
information about drug abuse. I wanted to know what
caused it and how I could fix it. I searched for days
and fianally came across a small site that reached out
to families of the addicts. They said there was "help
and hope"...... This is what finally led me to 12-step
recovery and the beginning of my journey.
I have let go of the guilt......
It didnt happen over night, it's been a slow process
of healing one day at a time. I began online Nar-Anon
meetings and met others that had been where I was.
I had a small network of recovery friends, that I would
call or email, on the days when I didnt think I would
make it. Reaching out was the first step in my recovery!
Setting boundaries was a vital part of my recovery. The
boundaries helped me grow in self-esteem. I learned
to love and value myself again and to let go of the
guilt and shame. Many of my first attempts were
really issuing ultimatums, but from them I learned to ask
for what I needed and was prepared to stand my ground.
I learned to detach with love and let go of my need to
be in control. I learned that I do not have the power
to change the addict, no matter how much I loved them.
I renewed my faith in God and intrusted HIM with the
care of my addict. My plans to "help" the A had never
worked, HIS plan for the A was a perfect one and I
had to trust HIM.
Addiction is a disease..... The actions of an addict are
symptoms of this disease! My part in the insanity ended
when I began to work the steps and put them to work
in my life. Setting boundaries, learning to detach, using
the tools of recovery have led me to a place where I
can finally say, I have found peace and serenity in my
life. Not every day is a perfect one, but even on the bad
days, there is a lesson for me to learn. I will never
graduate from this 12 step program it is a way of life,
meant to be lived ONE DAY AT A TIME....
Please share your experience, strength and hope......
Peace on the journey, SG
) to move on and ect.
~With Peace & Love, dg~ 8*)[/b][/size]
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.