Post by SunnyGirl on May 4, 2004 16:40:28 GMT -5
ELIMINATING WORRY
What, me worry? How many people get distracted by
worry to the point they lose focus? How much stress
does worry cause? Here are six reasonable questions
to ask that will eliminate worry 95% of the time:
- Will it matter a year from now?
Whatever it is that is really pressuring you, ask the
question, "will it matter a year from now?" This is a
favorite of mine, with co-workers, friends, and others.
When I see someone really stressing out, I usually ask,
"why?" The reason is usually something pretty simple,
that they are looking at from a time perspective.
Perhaps a co-worker is bothering them. Or, they lost
an opportunity at work. Maybe a bill is due that they
are not sure they can pay right now.
The reality is, almost all stresses are worked out,
through time, and by looking at it, a year from now,
we remove the immediate pressure of the stressor. - Are there ways to diffuse it (take direct personal action)?
If we can take the worry and look at it in a new way,
from a fresh perspective, this may relieve us. Also, there
might be ways to eliminate the worry, such as with a
particular bill, by simply paying it. That diffuses the
worry. Taking action directly associated with the worry
is the best way to resolve the worry.
If you've been stressing about an issue you know you
can resolve personally, but it has seemed overwhelming
to you, I have a mantra you can use to help move
beyond the worry:
"I can handle this, this is no big deal. I'm fantastically
on top of this." Then, do the action you know will resolve
the issue to manifest your reality. - What can I do to delegate it to someone else?
Delegating issues to eliminate worry is the next best
approach to resolve worry after taking direct personal
action. The reason for this is that we still have to
schedule a follow-up to make sure the person who was
delegated the task completed it.
If we have the option to delegate a task which is not our
core, so that we might focus on a task which IS our core,
then delegation makes sense. - Can someone else help me deal with it (find assistance)?
Getting assistance to help with the worry issue can be
helpful. Now you have a team to deal with it! Teamwork
helps make the issue seem less of a challenge because
now there are multiple hands, multiple eyes and ears
assigned to the challenge. This is also a great way to
improve friendships. - How can I relax to distract myself from the worry issue?
If we cannot deal with the issue causing us worry, then
perhaps we can simply relax or go play a sport or hobby,
to distract ourselves from worry. I find this is highly
effective unless I could have taken action to diffuse the
worry, first, in which case distractions serve only as
procrastination. - If I don't do it, will it really matter?
Then don't do it! Any time we worry, the reason usually
has to do with thinking "what if..." questions that are
beyond our control. "What if the market rashes?" "What
if my company lays people off?" "What if I get a new
manager?"
These are all examples of "what if" questions that we
probably have no direct control over. Worrying about
"what if" questions does nothing for us but cause us
stress.
By focusing on what is important NOW and taking action
that I really CAN DO now, a step at a time, worry
subsides. And remember to smile and breath deeply -
these two actions will help you keep your stress down.
What, me worry? No more!
~Scott Andrews
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.