Detachment

[caressa]

The past few weeks have been difficult detaching from my family and others to focus on my needs to recover and get back on track. It was necessary to focus on what was a priority and looking at where I was directing my energies.

Detaching from things that drained me of my energy was really important. I had to be right with me to be able to help others. You can't give what you don't have. It was so important for me to detach from others and connect with my Higher Power. Yet I didn't isolate, I did reach out to others. Detachment doesn't mean to ignore. It doesn't mean we can't love and live, it just means that I need to take care of myself, something I didn't know how to do for years.

There were many times I wanted to reach out to my son and ask for help. I had to realize as a practing addict, I can not expect something of him that he is unable to do. I need to go to my Higher Power, he meets my needs, sometimes my son delivers the message, other times he sends other messengers.

[Lin]

Detachment is such an awesome tool. It is not ignoring. It is not shutting them out and turning your back on them. it is jsut allowing them to make their own choices without getting sucked into their messes. It is not letting their words and actions get to us and drag us down. it is taking care of our own needs and allowing them the opportunity tofeel the consequences of their actions.

For so many years i let the words and actions of others get to me and it made me crazy. once i realized I had this option, my life was a whole lit easier.

LIN

[majestyjo]

Detachment is a good tool duriing the holidays. We detach because we love. When we detach with love, we leave strings attached and leave ourselves open for hurt and pain. It also keeps the door open for them to come and ask for help, which we in turn often enable our A and they don't hit bottom hard enough to want to quit using.

Really like what you said Lin, it is so true.

...it is taking care of our own needs and allowing them the opportunity to feel the consequences of their actions.

It is something that I need to remember in today. My son is full of words and promises, but not sure which direction he is going to go.

[caressa222]

Detachment is minding my own business. It is living my own life and allowing others to live with their choices. I had to stop trying to play God with my life and that of my loved ones.