Insanity

[caressa]

Today I was reminded that it was so easy to slip back into the old ways of thinking and act out in old behavior and patterns, thinking that this time it would be different.

As they say, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Just because I no longer use, the addict in me is still active and I can get puffed up with my own importance and become self-righteous and go back to the old game of you are the one using, you are in the wrong. I forget that I can slip mentally and emotionally, even if I don't physically pick up.



When the insanity returns, I block the power from working in my life because I am so caught up in the chaos and I go back to the 'Great I am!"

[majestyjo]

Went to the meeting today because I found myself cussing too much. It has been happening for a while, and didn't stop after I went to an Al-Anon meeting, so took myself off to a noon AA meeting. I went to AA for my denial. I went to NA for identification, and in Al-Anon/Nar-Anon, I found myself.

My son is a self admitted alcoholic/addict.

One of the first things I was told was to clean up my mouth. A good sign of a slip for me is when I start cursing everything and finding fault with everything around me. I may not be heading for a drink, because I know a drink would kill me because of my Diabetes, but I am heading to a place I don't like, a me that I don't want to be in today.

[majestyjo]

Not able to go to my NA group tonight. My foot makes it difficult to get around in my apartment let alone on slippery streets and sidewalks. I was thinking I needed crutches. Yeah right, I can see me getting around in my apartment with them, I would be falling down for sure. I have a walker, a four pronged cane, and a collapsible cane that folds up. Doesn't help to walk without putting my weight on the bottom of my foot. So coming here is my meeting, and while my group is happening, I hope to be sleeping. It is now 26 hours without sleep.

This is a good reminder that when I block something, I block the positive and the negative. A block is a block and prevents us from connecting to our Higher Power.