Post by Caressa2 on Mar 23, 2004 17:41:13 GMT -5
"Freedom to change seems to come after acceptance of ourselves." NA Basic Text. p. 56
Fear and denial are the opposites of acceptance. None of us are perfect, even in our own eyes; all of us have certain traits that, given the chance, we would like to change. We sometimes become overwhelmed when contemplating how far short we fall of our ideals, so overwhelmed that we fear there's no chance of becoming the people we'd like to be. That's when our defence mechanism of denial kicks in, taking us to the opposite exreme: nothing about ourselves needs changing, we tell ourselves, so why worry? Neither extreme gives us the freedom to change.
Whether we are long-time NA members or new to recovery, the freedom to change is acquired by working the Twelve Steps. When we admit our powerlesness and the unmanageability of our lives, we counteract the lie that says we don't have to change. In coming to believe that a Power greater than we are can help us, we lose our fear that we are damaged beyond repair; we come to believe we can change. We turn ourselves over to the care of the God of our understanding and tap the strength we need to make a thorough, honest examination of ourselves. We admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being what we've found. We accept the good and the bad in ourselves; with this acceptance, we become free to change.
Just for today: I want to change. By working the steps, I will counter fear and denial and find the acceptance need to change.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
For many years I looked at life through rose-coloured glasses. If I didn't see it, it wasn't there. I certainly wasn't willing to look at myself, so it was much easier to put the blinders on, and exist in life with tunnel vision. When I got jolted into reality, I had to ask myself, "Am I really that bad?" The answer was, "Yes! You are!" It was only then that I was able to reach out and ask for help. Before I quit smoking and had an honest desire to do so, I would say to my sponsor, friend and my aunt, "If you are going to pray for me, do so quietly, so I don't hear you; because when I hear, it just adds to my attitude, don't tell me, don't show me, don't say I can,t - WATCH ME!"
Recovery for me has been a change in attitude. Getting rid of the denial of who I was, what I had become, and being open to change.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.