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Post by bunnypie on Sept 28, 2016 1:33:21 GMT -5
I am willing to go to see a surgeon and set the date for surgery. I was refused surgery 2 weeks ago by my original surgeon because my insurance is "out of network" I have my last chemo on Thursday 9/29th and surgery has to be done asap after the last chemo or the cancer tumor will grow back and the last 5 months of chemo will be for nothing!!! I am stubborn about getting this surgery done so I can be cancer free!!! I have a lot of high anxiety and am trying to "hope for the best & cope with the rest" I will go today to find out when the surgery can be scheduled. The whole ongoing cancer treatment has been a horrible night mare and I am stubborn and willing to have it resolved!!!-----Bunnypie  |
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 28, 2016 5:28:40 GMT -5
Have always been on the willing side of this chip. As I said many times, "If I was told to climb a telephone pole and stay there for several houors a day to stay sober, I would have done it. It would be impossible for me in today, so I would have to find an alternative method. I had to redo my colin cancer test, so still waiting to get the results. This is the third test, but I am willing to do whatever it takes for my sobriety. Because of my sobriety (soundness of mind), I took a taxi to a noon meeting that isn't too far from me. We read from There is a Solution, and I like how they break down the levels of alcoholism. For me, I either am an alcoholic or I am not. It is like being a little bit pregnant. If you have it, if you haven't done it yet, there is a darn good chance you will get there if you continue drinking. When you find that drinking no longer works for you and you add another drug to the mix, then you really have a problem. It doesn't make you anymore of an alcoholic. It just means you are an addict who uses alcohol.
I am willing to go to any length to maintain my sobriety in today. I am stubborn about my program. It works for me. Over the years I have fine tuned it, changed it, and every day, I give thanks for it.
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 28, 2016 7:51:22 GMT -5
It can be a win/win situation when you are willing to go to any length to stay sober and stubborn about staying sober....  |
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 28, 2016 19:45:12 GMT -5
I agree, I just find that one is more positive than the other. When I can't find the willingness and can pray and ask for the willingness to be willing. I would never pray to be stubborn. I would rather use the words, steadfast in my beliefs.
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 29, 2016 0:26:02 GMT -5
WTF??? Stead fast is also know as stubborn.......
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 29, 2016 19:47:11 GMT -5
That is what I meant. I would rather say steadfast instead of stubborn, it sounds better and doesn't look so glaringly apparent as a defect of character.
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 29, 2016 20:18:08 GMT -5
I think/feel when it is glaringly apparent it makes me face it with honesty and willingness!!!
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 29, 2016 20:22:10 GMT -5
LOL! It is what they call denial. My sister said, "You are not knowing for your will power. I said I had a lot of will power, my drug of choice was more. What I didn't have was won't power.
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 29, 2016 20:27:07 GMT -5
LOL my Mom was a 30 year Alanon and she would tell me that I was floating down the river called "Denial" (Denial is not just a river in Egypt) |
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 29, 2016 20:32:38 GMT -5
Went to a Gay & Lesbian meeting. I sponsored two guys from the group. One night when I was sharing, I said that "I was the Queen of de Nile." My sponsee (male, opposite your sexual preference) said, "I qualify too." The room just broke up laughing. I eventually told him that he also had to get a male sponsor because there were certain issues he had to address that I didn't feel comfortable talking about. I said, "I will be your co-sponsor." He stopped going to meeting, didn't want to work the Steps with me, so I dropped him as a sponsee. If you don't want to work an AA program or have a program of your own that you are willing to work, then I can't be an AA sponsor.
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 29, 2016 20:47:32 GMT -5
LOL Oh JO!!!---I just have to tell a story about Elton John & Billy Joel. They were touring both playing piano. Billy Joel stood up and told Elton John he was the King of all piano players. Elton John said "NO Billy Joel YOU are the King and I am the Queen" Billy Joel was embarrassed but he told the crowd to applaud for the King & Queen of piano. It was funny but also uncomfortable moment for Billy Joel....Elton John is gay and Billy Joel is not. It is difficult to really understand if your not actually in the same situation. I understand that it didn't feel comfortable for you and just know that Billy Joel has been there too!!!!! Bunnypie |
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 29, 2016 21:16:48 GMT -5
Had no problems with it as I knew I was at a closed meeting and honoured that they allowed me to be there. AA is AA, no matter what your sexual preferance. I knew where I was.
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 29, 2016 22:45:45 GMT -5
You were a "special guest" and that is always an honor in my opinion....... Bunnypie |
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 30, 2016 19:53:37 GMT -5
It is a regular meeting, but few straight people go to it. I went because my sponsees were there. When I no longer sponsored them, I stopped going; but then I stopped going to a lot of meetings after 10 years sober. I switched to Al-Anon. I still went to AA meetings, but wasn't a member of an AA group. To do service in Al-Anon, it says "..not having any outside interests." I felt I couldn't do service for both, and I don't like belonging to a group without doing service. That is a no, no for me, join a group and get active, not that I can do too much any more.
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 30, 2016 21:52:40 GMT -5
Mom told me they called people who are AA & Alanon "Double Winners"
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 30, 2016 23:20:58 GMT -5
That is what I was told at my first Al-Anon meeting. I had doubts about being there. Some members were not too weloming beause I was one of those who belong across the hall and had no business being there. I had instant identification when I went to Al-Anon, something I didn't have at AA.
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Post by bunnypie on Oct 1, 2016 3:20:35 GMT -5
I went to a few Alanon meetings with my Mom cause my sisters & brother are all alcoholics. Mom & I were the only program people in the family for approx. 7 years and she wanted me to be a "Double Winner" so badly. I was not comfortable in Alanon because anytime anyone would complain about their alcoholic I would get very defensive and stick up for the alcoholic. It was "requested" that I go back to the AA meetings.....
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 1, 2016 11:26:03 GMT -5
Some may have said they thought I was better served in AA, but I more than qualify for Al-Anon. My dad died as a direct result of his alcoholism, my mother was a food addict who died at the age of 40, 28 days short of her 41st birthday, I was married to an alcoholic, my label, not his acknowledgement, and my son is a self admitted alcoholic/addict. I also found that Al-Anon helped when sponsees went back out, two died and didn't make it back.
I tried to make them aware of the disease of alcoholism and suggested that they go to open AA meetings.
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Post by bunnypie on Oct 1, 2016 23:29:45 GMT -5
Bridging the gap & getting tales from the other side can be challenging. I will never understand how someone can let the ice melt in their drink or just have one drink. The Alanon will never understand completely how I can drink non-stop. What is the saying? Mix apples & oranges???!!!--Bunnypie
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 2, 2016 0:49:38 GMT -5
Know what you mean. My friend invited me to his sister's cottage, which ended up being a mid 1800 renovated log cabin. It was awesome, had a dish washer and I didn't have to do dishes. He cooked, the only thing I made was potato salad because I wanted to.
I was there 10 days. His sister and her husband were there on the weekends. She would pour herself a glass of wine and I would watch the bubbles lose their fizz. I would watch the sweat on the bottles and wanted to say to her, "Would you drink that darn drink before it goes flat." I was so glad to get home. I got off the train and got a hug from a girl I knew from NA. Got to the bus station and there was a guy waiting for the same bus who was in a recovery house and went to my group Freedom of Recovery. That night I ran to the nearest AA meeting, even though I had been home only an hour and a half.
I think it helps members to know where there A is coming from. I let them know that they couldn't be their A's Higher Power. Their A could not stop drinking for them. They didn't have the power to quit and they didn't have the power to change them. They say that an Al-Anon member is sicker than their A. They have their own addiction, not only of wanting to fix someone, but looking at others and not looking at themselves, quite often codependent.
I could very much relate as a lot of my isms started when I was young.
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.