Even More Recovery Readings

[caressa222]

May 17

Step by Step

"He was drinking to hold on to his job, to hold on to his wife, to hold on to his sanity. Finally, he was drinking to keep away those little men, and those strange voices, and the organ music that came out of the walls." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 8, p 512.

Today, the reasons and excuses to justify drinking are now the reasons I cannot drink. If I drank out of fear of losing a job, let me not drink to keep it; if I drank with uncertainty that I might lose a spouse or loved one, let me not drink to have a chance at salvaging the relationship; if I drank to stop the hallucinations that were not real, let me not drink to extinguish them forever. The desperate excuses I used to drink can now, ironically, become the reasons not to drink. In the end, I am only drying out and not sobering up if I hinge my recovery on something other than myself. Today, I choose not to drink for myself and not to avoid a possible consequence. Today, if I can be sober for myself, I may find the strength and courage to deal effectively with whatever consequences of my alcoholism that await me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

INTELLECTUALIZING

Don’t intellectualize, utilize.

~ Anonymous ~

Many times we waste our minds by using them too much. A mind out of control can waste a life. Our mind can tell us we are better or less than another. It can tell us we need things we don’t, and that we should fear situations we needn’t. The power of the mind to intellectualize a life into a mess is amazing.

Our Program should be utilized, not intellectualized. We do not need to waste time debating points about the Program. We will not resolve with other intellectuals whether or not alcoholism and drug addiction are physical diseases or bad habits. The point, for us addicts, is that we will waste our life, die or go insane if we do not stay in recovery. All we have to do is look around a meeting room to see whether or not it works.

The Steps tell me HOW the Program works. The Traditions tell me why it works. My sponsor and fellow members show me THAT it works.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A dwarf standing on the shoulders of a giant may see farther than a giant himself.

~ Robert Burton ~

We all stand on the shoulders of those who have been our teachers, and on the shoulders of those who taught our teachers. When we pick a sponsor for our recovery, we look for someone we admire and trust, someone who has demonstrated success in his recovery.

Perhaps we feel we have a long way to go and a lot to learn. Perhaps we are struck by the big job we have ahead. But all we need to do is make progress. And we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. When we learn from our sponsor and from other people in our recovery community who are making progress, we get to stand on their shoulders. They let us see much more than we could see alone.

Today I am grateful for all the benefits of having a good sponsor.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

An active listener is to be prized above rubies.

~ Ruth Humlecker ~

Giving our undivided attention to a friend can be difficult. Even though we care deeply for her and value her friendship, we often find it hard to keep our own thoughts from intruding. As she talks, we take note of other people in the vicinity. We think about the tasks we have yet to complete. And we may pass judgment on what she shares.

Letting go of having these kinds of thoughts while in conversation with a friend is hard, but it’s worth the work. No encounter is an accident, and every exchange with a friend or even a stranger has its reward for us. We are God’s students every moment.

When we listen, we learn how to handle situations we might face in the future. We learn to show respect through our caring attention. We grow in our understanding of the value of friendship. Perhaps most important, we learn the value of cultivating a quiet mind. Only a quiet mind can hear the words of our Higher Power coming through the gentle voice of a friend.

I will be an active listener today. I am ready to learn whatever God has in store for me.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can’t quit my meds just yet

I don’t like taking my psychiatric medication. I don’t have insurance and I don’t have the money to keep buying it. Besides I’ve been taking it long enough−I feel better now. Sometimes I forget to take it anyway, and it doesn’t seem to make any difference.

Yet, as much as I want to just quit, I have to keep in mind what my doctor told me when I got to this point before. (If I do, I’ll probably save myself additional misery.) (a) Since my medication has long-lasting effects, I might not notice a missed pill here and there, but I would notice several pills missed in a row; (b) when I go off medication, it’s medically critical to taper it; and (c) most important, even though I’m feeling better, I need to stay on my medication a while longer to prevent a setback or a relapse to addiction.

If I want to make any changes in my medication, I will be sure to contact my doctor.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

And fire is seen in the eye of the young, but it is light we see in the old man’s eyes.

~ Victor Hugo ~

Growing old is not something most people look forward to, and unfortunately prejudice against older people seems to be common in our society. Beautiful young adults have often been used as models of the ideal human form. Older people are left out entirely, or shown as clumsy, slow, and unable to think or act with grace and dignity.

Yet, when we study history and current events, many of the leaders in the political, business, and artistic communities were older. There is wisdom and experience in age that can be gained no other way, as well as a perspective on life most younger people don’t even know about.

We don’t need to deny our aging process. We don’t need to lie or joke about our age. Respect of self and others who are older is a sign of spiritual maturity.

We may not be able to do all the things we could when we were younger, but with age comes growing wisdom, perspective, and serenity that can be a blessing if only we look for it and appreciate it in ourselves and others.

Today help me give thanks for the blessings of age, and appreciate those whose years are many.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Spilling your guts is exactly as charming as it sounds.

~ Fran Lebowitz ~

There is a difference between sharing your information with others and spilling your guts. When you provide intimate and highly personal details of your life to those with whom you do not have a close relationship, you are not deepening the relationship but, instead, may be making others uncomfortable.

While the program encourages you to look at yourself, your actions, and your behaviors with total honesty, it does not mean that you need to share every little thing you uncover with others. Telling the story of how you came into the program is one that others would like to hear, but you need to do this in a way that eliminates some of the more graphic and intimate details that can make others feel uncomfortable.

The program teaches that when you listen to others, you take what you need and leave the rest. The goal of communication in recovery is to provide others with experiences and knowledge that will be of benefit to their own recovery. By taking the time to think about what you should share before you speak, you have a better chance of providing something of value—and not some-thing others will discard in the trash can.

I will think before I speak. I will be open and honest in ways that benefit others.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Imagine how little good music there would be if for example, a Conductor refused to play Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience may have heard it before.

~ A. P. Herbert ~

Long ago, before printing presses, telephones, and instant replays, our, ancestors kept records of people, information, and history by telling the same stories many times. These stories were passed down from generation to generation. People crowded into caves and huddled around roaring fires to hear the old stories. They never grew tired of hearing them, for with for with each telling could come a new insight and a renewed interest.

When we hear the same things, we can tune in instead of tuning out. We can listen to each word as if it were the first time, feeling all the feelings and leaving our minds open to new insights. Perhaps we can garner a few lines to include in our own storytelling or that relate to us in particular. Conversations and stories can be the same with each telling. But we can keep them fresh by listening differently each time.

As I lie down tonight, I can imagine I've regained my hearing after years of silence. I can begin to listen as if it were the first time and gain so much more.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Overreacting

Those of us with chemical dependency have often shown just how damaging it can be to get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Ironically, what we tend to get upset about aren’t the essentials.

Perhaps we can learn not to panic over simple misfortune, ungrounded fears, and emotional turmoil. If we can open ourselves up to a Higher Power and a spiritual practice, we can settle down. We’ll feel a lot better about ourselves and the world.

Have I stopped overreacting?

May I welcome a Higher Power to help me keep perspective and stay calm.

Today I will deal constructively with negative emotions by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

People tend to become what you tell them they are.

~ DOROTHY DELAY ~

Newcomer

Someone I know keeps telling me what a great person I am. You’d think I’d love it, but it really upsets me. I don’t like the attention, and I don’t entirely believe it.

Sponsor

In early recovery, if someone expressed a high opinion of me, I felt as if I’d put something over on him or her; sooner or later, I thought, it would become clear what a fraud I was. Sometimes I had the opposite reaction: I ate up the praise and couldn’t get enough. My ego went clear through the roof. It took both time in recovery and the hard work of getting to know myself to accept that other people’s opinions were simply opinions, and I couldn’t base my serenity on them. I want to please other people, and I still can’t al-ways accept compliments and criticisms without being briefly knocked off my center. If three people tell me the same thing about myself, I pay attention; there may be some useful information in the consistency of others’ perceptions of me. But I don’t put conditions on self-love or self-acceptance.

Today, my love for myself and others is unconditional love.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Our great triumph was not because of our victory over alcohol but because of our complete defeat. It was only when we were beaten to our knees that we sought the only help that could save us.

So we came into AA, not as boastful conquerors but as cringing and bloody casualties of an unequal fight. We were whipped; we knew it; we gave not a **** who else knew it. For us it was unconditional surrender. There were and could be no reservations.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

THE PEACE OF MEDITATION

So we may know God better
And feel His quiet power,
Let us daily keep in silence
A meditation hour.
For to understand God’s greatness
And to use His gifts each day,
The soul must learn to meet Him
In a meditative way.
For our Father tells His children
That if they would know His will.
They must seek Him in the silence
When all is calm and still.

For nature’s greatest forces
Are found in quiet things,
Like softly falling snowflakes
Drifting down on angels’ wings,
Or petals dropping soundlessly
From a lovely full-blown rose.
God comes closest to us
When our souls are in repose.
So let us plan with prayerful care
To always allocate
A certain portion of each day
To be still and meditate.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

GET SOME DEMONSTRATIONS

The royal road to progress in spiritual understanding is to solve definite problems by prayer.

Every time that you heal any condition, however small, by prayer, you gain an increase in spiritual understanding. One definite healing will teach you more about spiritual truth than hours of discussion or reading.

Some questions in metaphysics that readily present themselves cannot be answered without a good deal of preparation, and it is useless to try to answer them until this ground has been covered. It is useless for a student of algebra to try to understand binomial theorem if he hardly understands a simple equation. You always have enough understanding to get freedom and harmony here and now in the place where you are.

Because thou hast asked . . . for thyself understanding to discern judgement . . . lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart . . . (1 Kings 3:11−12).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Temple

While God waits for His temple to be built of love, men bring stones.

~ Rabindranath Tagore ~

When the church board interviewed me, they asked if I would spearhead a building campaign for a new sanctuary,” the minister recounted. “I told them that I could not promise a new sanctuary, but I could guarantee that I would build a new consciousness.”

The movie Field of Dreams taught, “If you build it, they will come " But what is it that you must build? Because we are spiritual beings, we must nurture our thoughts and attitude above all else. If we think in harmony with truth, the outer forms will take care of themselves: "Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven, and all else shall be added unto you.”

What is the use of building a sanctuary, home, or business if it is not filled with love, light, laughter, and service? There are huge edifices built to God that are conspicuously devoid of caring, compassion, and acceptance. And there are small and humble churches, business, and families that are holy temples because they are founded on love. Remember that essence is always more important than form, and all else shall be provided.

Make my life a temple to Your love. May everyone I meet feel safe, cared for; served, and uplifted in my presence.

My life is my gift to God. My religion is love.

[caressa222]

May 18

Step by Step

Today, no inflated pride in a job or thing well done to the extent that I elevate myself above others, nor will I embellish any mistake to the degree that my self-confidence is so devastated that I con myself into believing I can do nothing right. Either way, the source of excess pride and a shattered self-image is an ego not centered but too far to the left or right. In the end, egoism is the character defect that, had I been thorough and honest in my Fourth Step, remains with me. And I ask my higher power to strike the proper balance. May I understand that a job well done is no license to toot my own horn and that deep disappointment with myself for making a mistake blinds me to a basic edict of the program - progress over perfection. Today, I will strive for progress and leave perfection to the power that is truly perfect. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

IF IT WORKS

If it works, don’t fix it.

~ Anonymous ~

We all like to tailor our lives to suit ourselves. But we have found that the more we stamp the impression of our ego on people, the more we push them away. The more we try to control situations, the more out of control they become.

When we started our Program, we needed to read “only the black” in our Big Book. We don’t need to try to improve the Fellowship by reading between the lines. If we just pay attention to what the old-timers tell us, we will save ourselves much misery. We don’t need to modify the Program to fit our needs. We need to fit our needs into the Program.

We are so used to problems that sometimes, even if something works, we make it a problem just because we’re used to it. We have made ourselves experts at handling crisis because we don’t know how to handle success. We are strangers to things that work.

To let working things work seems strange and unfamiliar. If it’s working, please don’t let me “fix” it.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When you aim for perfection you discover it’s a moving target.

~ George Fisher ~

In our desire for control, we seek the ultimate control of perfection. We try to relieve our anxieties and self-doubts by achieving it, but in fact we perpetuate our unease by seeking what cannot be attained. Some of us say, Tm not a perfectionist because I am far from perfect,” only proving that we are always measuring ourselves with that yardstick.

The way to resolve this dilemma is to get a different yardstick. Instead of measuring how far we are from perfect, we could measure whether we are learning anything new. Or we can ask ourselves if we have continued to get back on the path when we veer off course. Knowing we will make mistakes, we can ask ourselves if we take responsibility for them. Knowing some things will go wrong, no matter how well we plan, we can include in our plans a vision to accept mistakes as part of the package.

Today I will try to learn from whatever happens; and when something goes wrong, I will accept it and deal with it.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

It’s all in the attitude!

~ Eileen Fehlen ~

We are learning from this program that we are in charge of our attitude. No other person or no situation can force us into a negative frame of mind. And if we have intentionally, though perhaps mindlessly, chosen to feel negative, we can instantly feel positive instead. A gentle reminder is all that’s necessary.

Most of us got so used to negativity that we failed to see that we could feel otherwise. We resented women who always seemed happy and up. Now we understand, but understanding how our attitude is developed and taking charge of it are separate acts.

Being consciously and actively in charge of a positive attitude takes lots of practice, but every time we succeed in changing a bad attitude to a favorable one makes change easier the next time. We will soon discover that we are just as happy as we want to be. The power rests solely with each one of us.

I will be a happy woman today if that is my choice. No one can make me feel otherwise!

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

What am I feeling right now?

Foe me, the first stage in recovery from my dual disorder was getting abstinent. The second stage is getting stable with my psychiatric illness (while remaining abstinent).

To progress in psychological recovery−now that I am clean and sober−I want to know my true feelings. I want names for them and I want to understand them. I don’t want them to result in mood swings (or binges). I want to accept them. I want to deal with them in a healthy way. In sum, I want emotional stability.

I will stop twice today to jot down how I am feeling, or what I am feeling.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow.

~ Bishop Thomas Ken ~

It’s easy to keep wanting more and to forget to give thanks for the blessings we already have. The world is such a beautiful place. We can spend eternity taking it all in, appreciating the wonder all around us.

Sometimes, we get caught up in our petty affairs or become so absorbed in our day-to-day lives that we forget to observe. At those times, we may notice only what we don’t have, rather than giving thanks for what we have.

When that happens, it’s time to stop and look around. Comfort and beauty surround us, if only we take a moment to appreciate them. Our Higher Power has given us a universe of opportunity, free for the asking. We are in recovery. We have the dazzle of sunrise and sunset, the complex workings of our own bodies, friends who are changing like we are, friends who care, and a program to follow for a new life.

It may be a struggle, and we may be tempted to give up, but part of recovery is taking time to notice what we have. So many blessings are ours, and life is filled with so much to be thankful for, if only we can learn to look for it.

Today help me see beyond everyday matters and realize the richness of my life. Help me to see what I have, rather than what I don’t have, or what I think I should have.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If what I am watching evaporated before my eyes, I would remain.

~ Anne Truitt ~

When you become so absorbed in an intimate relation-ship that all you want to do is spend time with that person or have that person spend time with only you, you are overly needy. When you think about people, places, and things more than you do yourself, you can become so dependent upon them that you would be lost without them.

Caring deeply about others is not the same as not being able to live without them. Loving your job is not the same as immersing yourself in work every waking hour or while you are on vacation. Such behaviors deprive you of developing or strengthening a conscious contact with yourself or with a Higher Power. You may forget that you exist apart from whomever or whatever it is you are focusing on. You may neglect to do the things you need to do for yourself and in your recovery. And you may become detached from your connection to a far bigger universe.

Today you need to reframe your interactions in ways that leave you with time for yourself. You can begin by imagining your life without the person, place, or thing you obsess about and say, “I will still exist.”

I will practise conscious detachment from people and habits so I can attach to myself.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

After 8,000 unsuccessful trials on a nickel-iron storage battery, Thomas Edison said, "Well, at least we know 8,000 things that won't work."

~ Robert Millikan ~

If we don't believe we will be successful, all our efforts are doomed from the start. If we fear success or prefer the norm, we will not want to succeed. If we've been let down many times before, once more will make us want to give up. The bottom line is: How badly do we want to succeed at our goals?

Thomas Edison worked eagerly to discover the battery. He looked at his unsuccessful attempts not as failures but as information. He turned what some may see as failures into successes even though he didn't achieve the results he wanted.

If we want something desperately, we can choose to do all we can to get it. We can change our attitudes about the results by looking at them not as failures but as accomplishments. Then we can try a new way and not give up until we have exhausted all possible ways. If we work hard at it, we will be successful.

Tonight, I can keep a positive outlook and a strung determination.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Handling stress

Sometimes we feel stress—anxious, irritable, achy. We can’t think straight. We worry and wonder what’s wrong. Before the mountains arose, there was stress in the earth, internal pressure; something had to change. So, too, with us. Before change happens in us, we feel stress. But if we continue to work the Steps, work with others, and attend meetings, one day we will find that we have changed for the better.

Am I learning to handle stress?

Higher Power, help me keep in mind what I want to become; help me stay faithful during times of stress.

I will change the way I handle stress today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Things do not change; we change.

~ HENRY DAVID THOREAU ~

Newcomer

Things look like they aren’t going too badly on the outside. But on the inside, I’m a mess. Sometimes I feel close to panic or despair. What’s wrong with me?

Sponsor

Recovery allows us to get on with our lives. There’s no prescribed schedule, and there’s no rush. In time we find appropriate work, take care of health matters, become financially responsible. We create homes for ourselves and discover who our peers are and how we want to spend our time.

It’s not unusual for our external lives to become repaired more quickly and easily than our internal ones. Some of the feelings we’re experiencing are responses to things that happened some time ago. In recovery, we begin looking at the past through a different lens. We have spiritual tools that can help lift depression and anxiety. New experiences and outcomes become part of our memory bank. Our outlook changes. Comfort and joy become part of our emotional vocabulary.

Today, I experience myself as growing more comfortable in my own skin.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Think back to those days when we would creep off to our dens where we were holed up, and there like animals try to satisfy our appetites alone−so horribly alone. Just drinking, drink after drink, and dying slowly of despair. If we had a friend in the world we didn’t know it. We just wanted to drink and die alone.

It was people who brought us out of this pit, people of marvellous sympathy and understanding, and now, joining hands with these people, we have learned the joy of living−not alone, but with, and a part of a community of people.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

THE BIKE RIDE

At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping tract of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there sort of like the President. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I didn’t really know him.

But later on when I recognized my Higher Power, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride; but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that God was in the back helping me pedal.

I don’t know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since . . . life with my Higher Power, that is. God makes life exciting.

When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable. It was the shortest distance between two points.

But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places and at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said “pedal.”

I worried and was anxious and asked, “Where are You taking me?” He laughed and didn’t answer, and I started to trust.

I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure; “I’m scared,” He’d lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance, and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey; our journey, God’s and mine.

And we were off again. \he said, “Give the gifts away. They’re extra baggage, too much weight.” So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.

I did not trust Him at first, in control of my life. I thought He’d wreck it. But He knew bike secrets, knew how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high places filled with rocks, fly to shorten scary passages.

And I’m learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I’m beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, my Higher Power.

And when I’m sure I can’t do any more, He just smiles and says, “PEDAL!”

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

LET GOD MAKE YOU WORTHY

Never hesitate to approach God in prayer because you are not worthy. If we had to wait until we were worthy, no one would ever find salvation, because we cannot make ourselves worthy. Turn to God, just as you are, and, however sinful you may feel yourself to be, God will begin to make you worthy, as long as your turning to him is wholehearted.

Only God can cancel mistakes and rebuild our lives. The more sense of guilt we may have the more reason is there for turning to Him. The very fact that you are praying means that God Himself has initiated the prayer, and what thought can be greater than this?

Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy and eat . . . (Isaiah 55:1).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Screams or Music?

Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to become a noose.

~ Dan McKinnon ~

When the Beatles’ 1995 reunion was accompanied by a in-depth television documentary on the incomparable talent and success, the band members spoke candidly about their experience. Being the best-known and most sought-after people on the planet wasn’t all fun and games. “After two years of intense touring and fending off all kinds of people who wanted something from us, we were bored, frustrated, and going buggy,” one of the Beatles noted. “Our music was stagnating because we couldn’t hear a note we were playing, and neither could the screamers. You can’t grow, improve, or be creative in that kind of atmosphere.” Subsequently, the group quit touring and put their energy into innovative recording, which proved to be the most productive and rewarding segment of their career. During that period, the Beatles released Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, which became a landmark in music history and one of the most celebrated albums of all time. We cannot breathe or wax creative in an atmosphere of inappropriate adoration or limelight. Nor can we truly enjoy the object of our affection if we are hysterical over it. The world would tell us that fame, fortune, and worldly approval equal success. Yet these men who were the most famous in the world eventually wanted no part of the mania.

The only true measure of success is peace, happiness, and spiritual reward. Worldly accolades mean nothing in the Kingdom of Love.

I pray that my intentions remain pure and that I put Spirit before any worldly illusions or distractions.

I move forward with my vision on peace. I succeed because my heart is pure.

[caressa222]

May 19

Step by Step

" ...(W)hat about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 2, p 21.

Today, no searching for a reason to deny my addiction by twisting the reference to a "real" alcoholic. If I drank only beer, how can I be an alcoholic? If I drank only on weekends or even one day a weekend, how can I be an alcoholic? If I drank only to relax or calm my nerves, how can I be an alcoholic? If I never lost a job, a spouse or partner, if I never got nailed for DUI or spent a night in the county jail's drunk tank, how can I be an alcoholic compared to the "real" one who drank every day, to the "real" alcoholic whose job history makes him now virtually unemployable, or to the "real" alcoholic who has been in jail so many times that he has his name engraved in the cell? Today, may I understand and finally accept that because I lost control over drinking regardless of how much or how often I drank, I am as much the "real" alcoholic as the one who now is serving a prison sentence for what he did when he was drunk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HEALTHY THINKING

Knowledge of “the answers” never made anyone relapse. It was failing to practice “the answers” known.

~ Anonymous ~

The quality of our lives will always depend on the way we think. When anxiety, stress, and tension begin to threaten our hard-won piece of mind, we must not blame our retreat from serenity on outside forces. We can get back in line with comfortable living when we remind ourselves that we have been thinking wrong about something.

It may be complacency: “I’ve got all the right answers.” Perhaps we’ve been thinking selfishly or suffering twinges of jealousy and envy. Are we viewing others with anger or resentment, being fearful of falling short of goals? We learn in recovery to examine our thinking.

Positive thinking is my guarantee that serenity will continue to make me willing to accept myself as the author of my own attitudes, not a victim of outside forces.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.

~ Annie Dillard ~

Today is our life. Even though we are drawn to live in the past or have fears and hopes for the future, we only exist in the present. This moment is all we have, and it is enough. There is no need to center our thoughts on how things will turn out in the future because we are alive right now, and this is our life. Our memories exist only in our minds; they enrich the present, but we have no opportunity to relive them.

As we live in this moment and center our awareness in this moment, we have a sense that we can deal with it. Feeling overwhelmed comes from trying to take too big of a bite of time. It’s more than anyone can swallow. In this moment, as we sit in our place, we have sensations of sight and sound and touch. We can deal with this moment and that is all we need to do... ever. Centered in this very time and this very place, we regain our peace of mind and our ability to live well.

Today is all I need, for today is my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My parents told me that I could do and be any-thing I really wanted. I believed them.

~ Molly McDonald ~

The encouragement we get from other people strengthens our willingness to try new pursuits. Unfortunately, many of us did not receive an upbringing that nurtured our confidence; thus we have developed a reliance on trusted friends to give us the gentle forward push. Our courage to take a course, confront an intimidating situation or person, or apply for a more challenging job is often borrowed from a friend. And that is okay. In fact, that is good. Developing a healthy dependence on others’ honesty and sincere support deepens our connection to the human community.

The hand of a friend is a genuine blessing, a gift from one’s Higher Power. We will each need a hand on occasion, and we will just as often have opportunities to help another woman find her strength, her power, to make a new start. Being ready to give as well as receive the hand of encouragement is God’s will in action.

I will look for opportunities to encourage another person today. My own strength and courage will be enhanced in the process.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can deal with this slip

I feel guilty. I feel ashamed. I loathe myself for having had a slip. Things were going along fine−my Twelve Step meetings, meds, outpatient treatment−and then I woke up with a hangover. What happened? What did I do? I feel like crawling under a rock.

And yet−I’ve come this far. I know what it’s like to be sober and stable. And I know what to do to stay sober and stable. I don’t want to let this slip turn into a full-blown relapse. I don’t want to slip back into the chaos of the old days, before I got help for my dual disorder. What I need know is prayer and a little more help.

I will talk to my sponsor to help me forgive myself and to explore what led up to the slip.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Fear knocked at the door.
Faith answered. No one was there.

~ Unknown ~

Fear invades so much of our lives, spreading like a blanket of heavy fog. Fear wears many masks: doubt, procrastination, alarm, timidity, shock, terror. Fear has knocked on our door and we have let it in.

To be human and accept our limitations is to accept that we cannot make it without help. When we accept our humanness, we learn we are truly deserving of the help available from our Higher Power. Recovery has brought us faith — faith that our Higher Power will show us a new way to live, with confidence in ourselves and our friends in recovery. Faith lights the way and burns off the blanket of fog that once shrouded our lives.

Faith is our weapon against fear, as fear slowly leaves our lives.

Today may I he open to the power of faith, and live in the light.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

No day is so bad it can’t be fixed with a nap.

~ Carrie Snow ~

When the batteries wear down in a flashlight, first the light dims. You may shake the battery and, for a short time, the light may glow. But soon it will go out completely. By simply adding new batteries, you restore the light.

The same is true for your own level of energy and capacity for accomplishment. Work too hard, stubbornly refuse to leave a task unfinished, or burn the candle at both ends, and eventually you will be worn down. Your thinking will become confused and your body will feel exhausted. But by getting a good night’s rest, taking a short nap, or even taking a break, you can restore your energy so you can start anew.

Rest is not a matter of doing absolutely nothing. It simply means slowing your pace, becoming less active, and changing your focus to something different. Rest is a requirement for human restoration. Although you may not literally feel your body being rejuvenated when you break away from intense activity or fall into a deep sleep, you know how different you feel when you arise. Rest allows the time to release tension so you can return to a normal, balanced state.

Today I will remember to recharge my batteries through rest so I can shine brightly throughout the day.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Happiness is knowing that you do not necessarily require happiness.

~ William Saroyan ~

Do we believe happiness comes from material things? Yet stereos break down, clothes become worn, and cars attract scratches and dents. Do we believe we will be happy with a promotion or move? Yet new jobs and new homes soon become old jobs and old homes. We'll yearn again for another change, another challenge.

The struggle to attain happiness becomes easier when we realize we can be happy without having to struggle for it. We can be happy just by knowing we don't have to have the new car or the new home or perfection in our lives. Our happiness can come from just being ourselves, living each day, doing what we need to do for ourselves. To be happy means we don t need to struggle to find happiness.

Tonight I can be hoppy with myself and where I am right now.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Living according to principles

If we live according to spiritual principles, we will know harmony in our lives. If we ignore these principles, our harmony will be destroyed.

Fortunately the principles are constant. Once we recognize our mistakes, our task is to once again apply the principles we learned and harmony will return.

Am I living according to spiritual principles?

Higher Power, help me to be aware of and live according to principles.

Today I will apply my spiritual principles by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

You know, a heart can he broken but it keeps on beating just the same,

~ FANNIE FLAGG ~

Newcomer

I hear people at meetings talking about depression as if it’s a pretty serious thing. I wonder if I’m depressed; I feel down a lot of the time. But doesn’t everyone get sad?

Sponsor

There’s a big difference between sadness and depression. When we consistently block our tears, perhaps having been taught that they were wrong, perhaps not trusting that we’ll be safe if we shed them, our sadness remains dammed up inside us and depression sets in. For some, it’s not sadness that is being denied expression, but anger. Long-held anger, like unexpressed sorrow, acts like a toxic substance within us. Our connections to ourselves, other people, and our Higher Power are affected. There are chemical contributors to depression, too. Alcohol and other sedative drugs depress our physiological systems; antihistamine use can have a depressant effect, and so can excessive intake of the kinds of fats that clog our systems.

When we’re depressed for long periods, it’s hard for us to take initiative. Simple tasks seem like immense challenges. We feel emotionally flat. Our attitude toward others may be sullen. We didn’t get sober to drift in the no-world of depression. As with other ailments, there is help for depression in recovery.

Today, I release my feelings without self-censorship or shame.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Until man looks upon the faith of God, he cannot, with his limited faculties, know God. We can and do know some of His attributes as He has disclosed them to us in the world.

We can, however, study ourselves. We can cultivate these good qualities we discern and we can eradicate the bad. We do know many of the attributes of God and we can emulate them. We can aspire to Godlike virtues and if we thwn do not know God, perhaps God will know us.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

THIS DAY

This is the day which the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

~ Psalm 118:24 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOUR GREAT OPPORTUNITY

Your present problem is your great opportunity. Your own mind−the Secret Place, as Jesus called it−is the council chamber where the arrangements and decisions for your whole life are made; it is also the drafting room where the plans for your destiny are formed. Your life is your laboratory. The world is your workshop.

The reason that you are here is that you may develop spirituality; and the way to do that is to meet the challenge of practical life. You do not develop spirituality by running away from life into some sheltered retreat. Nor do you grow in spiritual stature by gaining your point through will power.

It is the law that any difficulties that can come to you at any time, must be exactly what you need most at the moment to enable you to take the next step forward by overcoming them. The only real misfortune, the only real tragedy, comes when we suffer without learning the lesson.

I pray not that thou shouldst take them out of the world, but that thou shouldst keep from the evil (John 17:15).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Sleeping Beauty

My soul, sit thou a patient looker on;, judge not the play before the play is done; her plot has many changes, every day speaks a new scene, the last act crowns the play.

~ William Shakespeare ~

Rob and Angela had a very difficult time with their teenage daughter Mindy, who went through many turbulent adolescent trials that caused her parents to wonder if they had somehow failed. On the eve of Mindy’s departure for college, the family went out to dinner. As soon as everyone was seated, Mindy handed each of her parents and her younger brother an envelope. As the family read the enclosed cards, tears began to flow. Mindy had written long, sincere, heartfelt letters of appreciation to all of her family members, carefully thanking them for all the gifts of love they had given her, honoring them for preparing her so well to go out into the world as a whole person. “In that moment," Angela told me, “it was all worth it.”

When you serve or support someone, do not be fooled by appearances. Temporary circumstances may not be a true reflection of longterm benefits. Just keep offering the highest gifts you can, while trusting that one day you will be able to say, “It was all worth it.”

Help me to serve today without being attached to results. I will do my part, trusting You to do Yours.

The love I invest in my relationships returns to me multiplied many times over.

[caressa222]

May 20

Step by Step

"In spite of (a) great increase in the size and the span of this Fellowship, at its core it remains simple and personal. Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Forward to the Third Edition, 1976.

Today, do not diminish the enormity of personal recovery by thinking that ours are insignificant among the millions of others who have found recovery in AA. The program empowers us and our recovery by telling us that our own and another person's hope begins one-to-one when two alcoholics talk to each other and share their experience, strength and hope. In turn, the alcoholic whose recovery began by talking to another alcoholic passes on his own experience, strength and hope. Today, we embrace with gratitude and humility the significance of our recovery along with those millions of others because, without our experience, strength and hope to pass on, our Fellowship will not increase in size, span or power in its message of reconciliation and redemption. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SHORTCOMINGS

Search our shortcomings and convert them.

~ Anonymous ~

One of the hardest things to do is look at our own shortcomings when we are angry at someone. It seems impossible to believe at such times that something may be wrong with us. This is the reason we are so often instructed to count to ten. When we find ourselves so out of sorts, so internally disrupted, there is usually something wrong with us.

It is our first obligation to take care of ourselves. It is out of love for ourselves that we withdrawal and take a spot check inventory. The spot inventory does not demean or humiliate us. On the contrary, the purpose is to speak with God briefly, check our vital signs, and clean out our connections.

I always need my connection with God. Nothing works without a clear, clean, strong, conscious contact with my Higher Power.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When you lose, do not lose the lesson.

~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr. ~

The only mistakes we are doomed to repeat are the ones we fail to learn from. Life is a matter of approximating our goals, seldom a matter of hitting the bulls- eye. We take risks, sometimes we fail to understand what we are dealing with, and sometimes we just indulge ourselves in what we want regardless of what is good for us. So, in some ways, we are constantly re-measuring the difference between what we aimed for and what we actually achieved.

If we only mourn the loss or berate ourselves for missing the target and never use it to learn, we have truly lost something important. It is when we call on our inner resources and learn the lesson that we get better and stronger. Learning is the most important part of our life journey.

Today I will look for the lessons in my mistakes and let go of defeatist attitudes.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Ultimately, the only thing we have to share is our own vulnerability.

~ Kathy Kendall ~

Giving up our secrets is the only path to the health and wholeness we deserve. Paradoxically, we’re drawn closer to the women we admire when we talk about the parts of ourselves we abhor. We’re really not as awful as we suppose. We’re no different from every other woman walking this path. Mistakes, even the horrid ones, are human and repeated less frequently when the principles of this program guide us.

Each day, in order to strengthen the bond that heals each of us, we can let others know the person we are. By isolating ourselves with “our history” we deprive the women sharing our journey of the very information they need for insight into growth and healing. Conversely, by giving up our secrets we too can grow and heal.

I won’t hold back my truth today unless it would harm the listener. Healing is what I seek.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am beginning to see improvements

I realize that recovery is a slow, subtle process with periods of growth and then plateaus. But over the past few weeks I am happy to see improvement in the three areas of my life affected by my dual disorder: I feel less irritable and more patient (emotional); I am sleeping better and my stomach trouble has cleared up (physical); I’ve settled on a home group and I now have a sponsor (spiritual).

I am grateful to claim another chip at my dual recovery meeting this month. It help me see that I can change, that my life is getting better, and that the program truly works.

I will tell my group (or sponsor) about the two most important things I did during the past month to help myself recover.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

~ Hannah More ~

How many times have we read or heard stories of people who achieved greatness despite all sorts of obstacles? We may think there was something about their genetic makeup that enabled them to do more than the rest of us. That is not the case.

People who achieve their goals despite many obstacles are not superhuman. What they may possess, at times, is an intense, clear focus on the goal they wish to achieve. It’s like walking across a log 30 feet above the ground. If you focus on the goal — the platform at the end of the log — you are likely to walk across. But, if you take your eyes off the goal and look elsewhere, say, at the ground below, you will probably think about falling and not reach the goal.

Sobriety and abstinence are the goals for us. We may wonder if we can achieve these goals because of the obstacles we face. But we have help from our Higher Power and Twelve Step program. If we focus on our goals each morning and remember those goals throughout the day and in the evening, we can avoid the obstacles we face and find success and joy in our new lives.

Today help me to keep my goals of sobriety and abstinence in constant sight.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Prayer does not use any artificial energy, it doesn’t bum up any fossil fuel, it doesn’t pollute.

~ Margaret Mead ~

When you are hungry, you eat. When you are tired, you sleep. When you feel bored, you seek stimulation. When you injure yourself, you give your body time to heal. When you do not understand something, you seek knowledge. You can take care of such things without really thinking about them. But how well do you take care of your spiritual needs? More often than not, you may ignore them as they do not cry out for attention like your other needs do.

But without prayer, you may not be able to handle stress as effectively as you could. You may be able to cope with life and do well in remaining free from your habit, but you may not be able to develop a sense of inner peace.

Prayer is something as essential to you as eating. It provides you with nourishment that develops a feeling of being fulfilled. It restores your soul and provides healing energy. It offers answers that can help ease confusion. And it can lighten your outlook so that your burdens do not seem so heavy.

I will make time today for prayer and peaceful connection with a Higher Power. When I pray, I will be cultivating inner peace and adding enrichment to my life.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You just have to learn not to care about the dust-mice under the beds.

~ Margaret Mead ~

Perfection is something many of us strive for. We want the perfect marriage or relationship. We want the perfect house and perfect clothes. We want the perfect job and we yearn to be the perfect employee. We want perfection in our personalities and in all our actions.

Perfection means being perfect-no faults or blemishes. Sometimes we see perfection by a gymnast who scores a perfect ten. Yet every time that gymnast performs, she doesn't always score a ten. She is not perfect all the time, or even most of the time.

We can experience momentary perfection. Perhaps we earn an "A” or write a faultless business proposal or complete a knitting project without a dropped stitch. But these accomplishments don't mean we will always be perfect. We need to see ourselves as imperfect and allow the dropped stitches, the "Bs," and the 9.5 scores to exist. They let us see we are perfect in a special way−we are perfectly imperfect human being!

Nothing has to be perfect, as long as I give it my best effort.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Looking for a Higher Power

To stay clean of mood-altering chemicals, it is important to find a Higher Power—a personal Higher Power. Not one based on someone else’s ideas, not one based on someone else’s beliefs, but a Higher Power that speaks intimately to us alone.

Our histories are different; our recoveries are different. The kind of relationship we develop with our Higher Power may well be different too.

Am I finding my personal Higher Power?

I pray to develop a personal relationship with my Higher Power.

Today I will work in a personal relationship with my Higher Power by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Hell’s rather out of date.

~ ALFRED SUTRO ~

Newcomer

What can I do about depression, short of getting professional help?

Sponsor

In recovery, we can begin addressing depression physically, mentally, and spiritually. We can exercise (aerobic activity, half an hour a day, five days a week, is a powerful and healthy mood changer). We can eat nourishing food and avoid depressants like alcohol and other sedatives. We can begin to understand and feel compassion for ourselves as we share at meetings and work the Twelve Steps in a com-mitted and thorough way. We can let the program serve as a gateway to spiritual practice and connection.

Depression, if indeed that’s our problem, is an illness that must be taken seriously and addressed accordingly. If we’re suffering, there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking professional help. Consulting a therapist doesn’t have to mean taking antidepressant drugs. Sometimes, though, medication is clearly indicated; many people in recovery have been helped by it without compromising their recovery in any way. We don’t get less sober by getting help.

Today, I take my mental, physical, and spiritual needs seriously; I reach out for help when I need it.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Our lives today are a series of compromises. Legislators enact laws which are compromises to both contending factions. Juries bring in verdicts which they don’t even profess to be in accordance with the law and the evidence, and excuse their verdicts on the ground that it was a necessary compromise. Even the religions of the day are frequently adjusting their codes of do’s and don’ts in order to effect a compromise with their more liberal elements. Our national and international relations are based upon political expediency rather than sound political principles of justice.

When moral principles are involved there is no such thing as compromise−it must be either morally right or morally wrong.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

THE GREAT REALITY

Let the Great Reality govern my every thought, and Truth be the heart of my life. For so it must be for all humanity. Please help me to do “my part.” And may the intensity of all our egos become the Joy of our One Soul.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

Really there are only two feelings that a human being can have, namely love and fear. It is generally supposed that the kinds of feeling we may have are legion, but this is an illusion. All other feelings, so-called, will turn out upon analysis to be either love or fear.

What about anger? Well, anger is really but fear in disguise. In chemistry we occasionally find the same substance occurring under completely different appearances. For example, black lead is exactly the same substance chemically as a diamond, different as they look. They are said to be allotropic forms of carbon. In the same way, anger, hatred, jealousy, criticism, egotism, are all but allotropic forms of fear.

Joy, interest, the feeling of success and accomplishment, the appreciation of art, are allotropic forms of love. The great difference between the two feelings is that love is always creative, and fear is always destructive. It is for us to decide which of these two feelings shall hold sway in our lives.

God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in Him (1 John 4:16).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Stand by Your Plan

Believe that with your feeling and your work you are taking part in the greatest; the more strongly you cultivate in yourself this belief, the more will reality and the world go forth from it.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~

The story behind the making of the blockbuster film Forrest Gump is as fascinating as the movie itself. After the script was pitched for nine years, Paramount finally took it on. When the movie went ten million dollars over budget (due largely to the special-effects scenes in which Forrest Gump visits well-known historical figures), the studio decided to finish the film without those scenes. Actor Tom Hanks and two producers urged the studio to invest more money in completing the special effects, but the studio refused and countered with the offer that if the principals wanted to invest two million dollars of their own funds, they could have a larger share of the box-office gross. The principals felt the movie was worth it, and took the risk. To everyone’s surprise, Forrest Gump became the third highest-grossing film of all time, earning over $300 million. The principals laughed all the way to the bank, and Tom Hanks received $30 million as his share.

If you believe in what you are doing, you will be asked to stand behind it fully. If you are true to yourself, you will act as if your goal is worth enormous support. Why would you be involved in any project that you could not put your whole heart and soul into? The Forrest Gump investors gave it 100 percent; they could not bear to stop with less.

Throw yourself wholeheartedly into the task at hand. Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Live what you believe in, and the world will reward you many times over.

Inspire me to give all I have to what I believe in.

I support my visions with my whole heart.

[caressa222]

May 21

Step by Step

Today, if I get frustrated or overwhelmed by the responsibilities with which sobriety has entrusted me, I will slow down to remember gratitude and humility, if for no other reason than I once could not be trusted with the responsibilities that I have being sober. Sobriety and recovery have given me a purpose and sense of inclusion that drinking took from me. But although sober and (hopefully) getting better emotionally and spiritually day by day, I must guard against a reckless or stupid moment in which what I have gained is destroyed - by me. Today, even if the candle burns at both ends, I will be grateful that my candle even has a flame. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

JEALOUSY

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.

~ William Penn ~

The disappearance of jealously is a wonder to behold in the life of a recovering person. The world before our Program was a world of want for us. We never seemed to have enough of anything. Nothing was ever quite right. There was a constant sense of an incomplete world and that life wasn’t fair.

What was so painful for us was our wicked jealousy of those who seemed to have what we wanted. This created deep resentments.

Now life is different for us. We have more than we can ever use because the supply is limitless. What we desire now can’t be measured. It’s there for the taking. And it has nothing to do with what we wanted before. Our spiritual awakening has revealed a world of abundance and fulfillment.

The Program has given me what I need. I am no longer jealous of what others have.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A man does not seek to see himself in running water, but in still water. For only what is itself still can impart stillness to others.

~ Chuang-tse ~

Our own reactivity has often escalated a problem rather than helped to resolve it. But we can learn to be less reactive. All of us have a range of responses. At our worst we may lash out in abusive anger. At our best we try to be tolerant and understanding. When we are exhausted or depleted in other ways, we are more prone to react from our worst self. And our harsh reaction only makes a crisis worse.

We can change our pattern of reactivity and give our best response by developing an inner calm. Then we always have access to our better self, and we are less prone to take things personally. That doesn’t mean we are always placid or passive, because sometimes our best self needs to rise up and say no! When we are calm, we can respond most effectively, either with open tolerance or with a “no” if it is called for.

Today I will maintain an inner calm as I deal with the issues that arise.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My sense of balance depends on my sense of humor.

~ Joan Malerba-Foran ~

We’re surrounded by situations worth laughing over. Being human means making mistakes, and many of them are humorous. Being able to laugh at ourselves isn’t all that easy, however. If we grew up in rigid, shaming, or abusive families, we may feel inadequate and ashamed when we make a blunder.

Hearing our recovering friends laugh at themselves is wonderful training for us. We learn by their example that a good laugh takes the sting out of chaos. That, in turn, offers a balance to our lives. Without some levity, we can get far too serious and let every obstacle become more than it needs to be.

Laughter not only gives balance to our lives but also is healing, some believe physically as well as emotionally. One thing is certain: few experiences appear too bleak if observed through smiling eyes.

I will be willing to chuckle many times today, and I’ll go to bed much happier.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

The Twelve Steps are important to me

Soon after I left home, I stopped going to church. With mental and chemical illness in my family−and little spiritual foundation of my own−I soon felt lost and alone in the world. Eventually I became addicted and emotionally ill.

But in dual recovery, once again I have a spiritual guide, the Twelve Steps. They are simple, affirming, and practical. They ask only that I seek sobriety and stability. And yet I find that the more I embrace the Steps and a sober, spiritual life, the more I get out of them. Had I not found them, I might have lost my life altogether. I am deeply grateful for these Steps.

At my meeting I will show how the Steps have begun to restore my life, spiritually and emotionally.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

How poor are they that have not patience!
What wound did ever heal but by degrees?

~ William Shakespeare ~

Do we often begin the day worrying about all that has to be done? Even feeling unable to act because there’s too much to do? When this happens, we are usually taking on too much. We are loading down the present with worry about the future, and trying to do everything at once. We are forgetting about patience.

We have only one moment to live and that moment is now. We cannot sustain life by taking tomorrow’s breath today, and we can’t make ourselves happy in this moment by trying to settle the next day’s problems.

When we take on too much, we can ask for help. This skill is a new freedom in our recovery. It’s a way of accepting our limitations. Taking a single action toward our goal, we are doing what we can today, and we can let go of tomorrow. We can be calm, patient, and more serene. No worry over the future is worth sacrificing today’s serenity. Today’s serenity and today’s careful action will bring us just what we need tomorrow.

The rewards are a newfound patience with ourselves, the help of others who care, and a new life of patience and tolerance.

Today let me slow down and do what needs to be done each moment.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If you let yourself be absorbed completely, if you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments.

~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~

When you were a child, you wanted the days to rush by to get to a birthday, holiday, or school vacation. Each day seemed to pass so slowly. When you were older, you looked forward with eagerness to getting your driver’s license, going off to college, or getting your first job. At times, it may have seemed the future would never come.

When you were older still, you may have looked for-ward to your wedding, to the birth of your first child, to buying your first home, or to a longed-for promotion. To achieve those things, you may have spent most of your present time planning for the future.

It is not always easy to live by the slogan “One day at a time.” It becomes doubly hard to stay focused on the present when you feel all you have to look forward to is another day without your addiction. Living one day at a time is, perhaps, one of the hardest things you face in recovery. But within each day lies hope. To live each day, each minute, and each second means to be ever hopeful for a better tomorrow.

All I have is today. I will appreciate each moment of it.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

She looked around and found there were no monsters, only shifting shadows from the play of moonlight through the trees outside the window.

~ Lisa Alther ~

How often have we heard a child's bedtime fears are the result of an overactive imagination? Our own imagination can run wild at night, to such an extent that our reality becomes distorted. We begin to imagine things that are not real.

If someone doesn't say hello to us, we may think that person hates us. An unreturned telephone call could signal that another has stopped being our friend. Instead of seeing what really exists, we let our imagination take over. Minor inconveniences become major catastrophes; small sounds become amplified into "things that go bump in the night."

Tonight is as real as today. There is nothing to fear except the thoughts in our own minds. And we can chase those away by remembering to look at things the way they really are, not as we imagine them to be.

Tonight I can use my mind to see clearly. Darkness cannot cloud my thoughts.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Passing it on

Before we can help others, we must first help ourselves. If we acknowledge our chemical dependency problems and seek to change, we are growing. In growing, we have something to offer others.

As those before us have helped us grow, we in turn, can help others grow. We can pass it on.

Am I growing and passing it on?

Higher Power, help me realize that as I grow through your love, others grow through my love for them.

Today I will share my love and growth with

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world.

~ HELEN KELLER ~

Newcomer

I’m feeling discouraged. I’ve always had health problems—backaches, allergies, and other physical problems. I’ve tried various remedies, taken vitamins on and off, and seen different kinds of practitioners. And, of course, I go to meetings. Sometimes I feel better for a few days; then suddenly things get worse. I’m miserable again today.

Sponsor

Our bodies have a way of getting our attention. There's an old story that asks, “How do you get a donkey to walk up a hill?” The answer is that first you hit him on the head with a two-by-four; then, when you’ve gotten his attention, you whisper in his ear—that way, you can get him to start walking up the hill. I think that we’re sometimes a bit like don-keys, and that bodily pain is the two-by-four that finally gets our attention and gets us moving. From what you’re telling me, I’d guess that something is wrong and is calling out for you to take an action.

It sounds as if up to now you’ve been trying a little of this and a little of that, taking half measures. That didn’t work when you were active in your addiction; you had to overhaul your life and make a wholehearted commitment to recovery. Why should this be different? It may be time for you to look for a physician you’re willing to trust, get a thorough checkup, and follow every one of his or her suggestions.

Recovery was the beginning of healing in your life. Having addressed your addiction and made some progress, you no longer find it acceptable to walk around in constant discomfort. That’s a positive change.

Today, I am willing to pay attention to my body and to take whatever steps are needed for healing.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

If we deny the fatherhood of God and our divine relationship to Him and each other, then we are but animated pieces of clay, each one independent of and unconnected with each other. If that be so, then we are foolish to love and labor for others. But are love and charity nonsense? Would life be a pleasant and interesting experience without them? No, if we removed these characteristics from our lives we would be left with only that which the baser animals possess.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

THE MORNING LIGHT

Lord of the night,
Be with me through the hours of darkness,
Let all my questions,
Problems, decisions,
Be enveloped in sleep
That through the mystery
Of the sleeping mind
The difficulties of this day
Will be seen to be easier
In the morning light.
Into Your hands, O Lord,
I commit my spirit.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

FROM WITHIN OUT

But thou, when you prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which in secret; and thy Father which seethin secret shall reward thee openly.

But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking (Matthew 6:6−7)

The sixth chapter of Matthew presents the doctrine of the Secret Place and its importance as the controlling center of the “Kingdom.” It is the essential factor of the teaching of Jesus Christ. You are a king, Jesus says, the ruler of your own kingdom. When you know the truth of being, you are the absolute monarch of your own life.

It is very significant that Jesus should call your consciousness the Secret Place. It is obvious that nothing has any real significance but a change of policy in the Secret Place.

A distinguished Quaker some years ago said: “In my youth we discontinued the distinctive Quaker costume and certain other usages because we realized that people who were far from really caring for our Quaker ideals were joining us, nevertheless, for the sake of the educational facilities they could obtain so inexpensively for their children, as well as other advantages of our membership. It was so easy to style oneself a ‘Friend,’ to purchase and wear a coat without buttons or collar, and to interlard the conversation with a grammatical peculiarity, while leaving the character completely untouched. It is so easy to buy and wear ceremonial garments, to repeat set prayers by rote at certain times, to use stereotyped forms of devotion, to attend religious services at prescribed periods−and to leave the heart unchanged.”

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Hang in There

If well thou has begun, go on foreright; it is the end that crowns us, not the fight.

~ Robert Herrik ~

I was inspired to establish a weekly community dinner at which spiritually oriented friends could get together for fellowship. I set the date to begin, invited my friends, cleaned the house, and baked an eggplant Parmigiana dinner as my offering to the potluck. When the appointed time arrived, no one had shown up. “Maybe they are fashionably late,” I reasoned, and waited. Half an hour later, there were still no guests, so I sat down to begin the dinner myself. Another half-hour went by, and there I sat with my eggplant and no guests. I felt very disappointed and wondered if I had made a mistake with the project.

I persevered and went on with the plan the next week, and two people joined me. The following week, we had half a dozen. Within a few months, the community dinner was booming, and the house was bursting at the seams with guests. We went on to share creative meals, music, and presentations for over five wonderful years. After I moved from the area, the program was carried on at various homes, and it became a source of support and friendship for many people. Looking back on my first night romancing the eggplant, I realized how foolish I was to judge the value or success of my project based upon the initial response. The idea was an excellent one; it just took a little time to get rolling.

If you have a good idea, don’t give up on it because your initial returns are not what you expected. Hang in there, hold the vision, keep the faith, and before long you may find your house bursting at the seams with success.

Help me be true to my visions, even when the outer world does not seem to support them. I know that the inspirations You give me are good and must succeed.

Steadfast I march on, secure. With God I am never alone.

[caressa222]

May 22

Step by Step

Today, reach into my past to measure the enormity of my present and try to grasp the scope of the life that sobriety has given me. Whereas I once was helpless, hopeless, weak, apathetic, selfish and destructive - and pathetic - today I have hope, strength, selflessness, compassion, passion and the courage born of humility to treat sobriety with awe and respect. While I cannot and do not want to live in or return to yesterday, I also do not want to forget it; its lessons can steer me from the same mistakes today. And all I have left behind and gained what I have now is through sobriety and, therefore, my sobriety is my No. 1 priority for. Without it, I have nothing except for all I pray I left behind. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris, M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SEEKING PRIVACY

Let there be space in your togetherness.

~ Kahlil Gibran ~

Identifying with those who help our recovery by sharing experiences, strengths and hopes is one reason why our Program works. As we relate more closely to fellow members and our affection for them grows, we must be aware that danger lies in the belief that we all live alike.

We cannot try to possess others or work their Programs for them. Each is an individual, following the same principles in his or her way to the best of their ability and within limitations. We must always give others the privacy their recovery requires.

We remember that we are responsible for ourselves alone. Our recovery, our well-being, our happiness are all ultimately our own responsibility.

Privacy is a precious gift to all who need ample time to pray, meditate, and plan each day. Yet, in being alone with shared problems, I am never truly alone.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Whoever thinks that marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition doesn’t know the half of it.

~ Franklin P. Jones ~

Naturally we expect our intimate partnerships to be built on equality and mutuality. Sometimes we get so focused on the role our partner is playing that we lose focus on our own. A good intimate partnership works when we stay focused on being a worthy partner and stop keeping score.

We nourish our intimate relationship by being respectful, kind, and generous, whether or not we feel our partner is doing the same. That doesn’t mean that we never talk about what we want or hope for from our partner. It simply means that our loving attitude isn’t contingent on whether we get what we want. We know what a good partner is like, and when we provide that, it enhances the whole relationship and inspires our partner to respect us and respond in kind.

Today I will be the best partner I know how to be, regardless of what I receive.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When I take another’s needs into consideration and bend, I spiritually stretch.

~ Helene Lerner-Robbins ~

We have been told that this is a selfish program. Perhaps that has given us license to be inconsiderate. However, that isn’t what the founders meant by a selfish program. While it’s true that we must protect our sobriety always, it is never wrong to be kind and considerate toward others. Our kindness to someone else won’t ever make us drink! That’s what we must keep uppermost in our mind.

Along with helping us maintain abstinence, the program helps us develop a spiritual relationship that can change every aspect of our lives. Coming to believe in a Higher Power and turning to that Power for guidance and comfort allow us to experience hope in every situation. We can enhance our spiritual growth by treating others as we want God to treat us.

My spiritual growth can get a boost today if I get my ego out of the way and help someone else feel better.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I know who I am

I realize that I am willing to believe others’ opinions of me before my own. I am too willing to doubt myself. And whether intentionally or not, maliciously or not, people can easily be critical of me.

But now that I’ve done a Fourth and a Fifth Step, I know better what my weaknesses are (as well as my strengths). I know better what to do in order to accept myself and what to work on in order to change. I’m glad I’ve evaluated myself on my own. And I thank my higher power for giving me the strength to do so.

I will write affirmations on two of my strong points and tape them to my bathroom mirror.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Sometimes I feel sorry for people who don’t have a Twelve Step program to help them solve life’s problems.

~ Eleanor L. ~

Recovery helps us handle many issues that beset and befuddle other people. Whenever we hear someone say, “I’m a grateful alcoholic,” we know what they mean. We’re grateful, too. Before our addiction, lots of things bothered us. Since we started our recovery, though, we’ve learned that everybody has problems, no matter who they are or what they do. The difference is that now we have the tools and the support to help us get through.

So much of life is spent muddling through little difficulties, but we’re lucky enough to have a recovery program and Higher Power to help us handle just about anything. Now there is always a place we can go to share our thoughts, hopes, and feelings. Our problems haven’t disappeared, and we don’t expect them to. But now we have the tools and support we need to work through our problems each day.

Today I am grateful for the tools You have given me.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick.

~ Susan Sontag ~

Recovery facilitates healing much like applying salve and a bandage to a wound help healing. Such healing helps you to become more aware of the negative influences in your life so you can stop the flow of negative energy.

Healing in recovery involves learning about your dis-ease as well as becoming more aware of how this ad-diction affected you and the lives of others. Healing in recovery also involves making positive changes in your life. For example, you can assess the relationships in your life to determine if they are detrimental to your recovery.

To heal in recovery, you need to take action to bring about change. You can let go of the people, places, and things that are no longer beneficial to you and allow into your life those people and things that will encourage your healing. The program is a journey you undertake that leads you out of one land and into another. You entered the program with a passport to the kingdom of the sick and were given a passport to the kingdom of the well.

Today I have a choice between sickness and health. I choose health, and use the program to heal my sickness.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Sometimes I feel mad at her. Feel like I could scratch her hair right off her head. But then I think [she] got a right to live too. She got a right to look over the world in whatever company she choose. Just cause I love her don't take away none of her rights.

~ Alice Walker, The Color Purple ~

When we open ourselves up to caring, sharing, and giving, we also bare our vulnerable spots. We often hear how beautiful it is to be in love, but we also know how painful it can be.

We might not mind being in love if the other person would stop hurting us. Sometimes it seems deliberately done: coming home late for dinner, forgetting an appointment or special event, or falling asleep when we want to be intimate. We may then express our hurt in ways that will hurt the other: yelling, throwing things, hitting, running away, breaking up.

Sometimes we forget important dates or are too tired to express intimacy. lf those are our rights, then they must also be the rights of others. To truly express love, we need to have room to grow as two beautiful flowers, instead of one depriving the other of light and nourishment.

I can give space to a loved one.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Accepting tragedy

Even clean and sober, there may be tragic experiences in our lives. Sometimes there is just no logical explanation. Unexplained misery seems cruel, and we wonder how God can do this to God’s children. We don’t know the answers.

We know that many of our problems are of our own making. But what do we do about acts of God? It is said that our greatest burdens may also be our greatest gifts and that the most tragic experience can help us learn to be of service and at one with our Creator.

Am I capable of accepting tragedy?

I can’t, my Higher Power can—and will— if I allow it.

I will practice acceptance today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Advice is seldom welcome, and those who want it the most always like it the least.

~ LORD CHESTERFIELD ~

Newcomer

This is going to sound strange, but sometimes I get fed up with all this kindness and caring. I talked a little at a meeting about a health problem I’m dealing with—I’d already seen a doctor—and at the break, people came over to talk to me, full of sympathy and concern. One told me to go to her doctor, another told me what kind of medicine I ought to be taking. I guess they meant well, but I hated it anyway.

Sponsor

Was it kindness and caring, or just people's need to give advice? In and out of meetings, we may find ourselves subjected to others’ unsolicited opinions and advice. It’s human to want to be helpful, but sometimes true helpfulness lies in simply acknowledging that we’ve heard the other person. It takes skill to be able to let someone know we care, without trying to take over. I can understand your irritation at being inundated with advice after you’d already sought a professional opinion and treatment for your problem; perhaps you felt as if your responsible, adult behavior was being ignored.

Even in matters of recovery, not everyone with time in the program has the right answer for us. When we share our own experience instead of preaching, others can hear us more easily. According to Twelve Step tradition, it’s a pro-gram of attraction rather than promotion.

Today, I trust what my heart is telling me.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We veterans of the Alcoholic Wars that raged within ourselves can bear testimony to the fact that it was only when we called upon the God of our understanding, that peace was restored to our lives.

World Wars are but the extension of the conflicts existing in the souls of men on a world-wide basis. They, too, have as their foundation, fear, suspicion, envy, intolerance and national egotism.

There will never be a permanent peace until the Prince of Peace is admitted into the hearts of men in high places and is allowed to preside over their Conference Tables.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

REST

Go with each of us to rest,
If we awake, temper to them the dark hours of watching;
And when the day returns, return to us,
Our Son and Comforter, and call us up with
Morning faces and with morning hearts
Eager to labor, eager to be happy
If happiness would be our portion,
And if the day be marked for sorrow,
We are strong to endure it.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

A SIMPLIFIED LIFE

It is unquestionable that the spiritualization of thought does undoubtedly lead the student to simplify his mode of life, for so many things that previously seemed important are now found to be unimportant and uninteresting. It is unquestionable too, that he gradually finds himself meeting different people, reading different books, spending his time differently; and that his conversation naturally changes its quality. These things follow upon the change of heart; never can they precede it.

. . . old things are passed away, behold, all things are become new (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Now we see how vain is the foolish attempt to cultivate the good opinion of other people under the impression that such a thing can be of any real advantage to us. Jesus has exposed that kind of fallacy once and for all. He says that the applause that follows upon outer acts is the only reward they ever bring, and that results worth while are only to be obtained in the Secret Place of consciousness.

. . . pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seet in secret shall reward thee openly (Matthew 6:6).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Now I’m Sure

Come, my friends, ‘tis not too late to seek a newer world... We are one equal temper of heroic hearts.

~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson ~

In the film Lost Horizon, a group of air-crash survivors find their way to Shangri-La, a Utopian community high in the Himalayas where everyone lives in harmony and enjoys tremendous longevity. One of the survivors, Robert Conway, senses that he has finally come home and plans to live out his life in Shangri-La. But when some of his fellow passengers convince him that he has been deluded, he rejects the community and ventures back into his old world. It is not long before he realizes that the peace of Shangri-La was genuine and the life he attempted to regain was the illusion. Conway tries to find his way back to Shangri-La, but because the community is tucked away beyond bottomless chasms and unsurpassable blizzards, he must persevere fearlessly and tirelessly to regain the paradise he renounced. Eventually, he does locate the land of peace, and the wisdom he gained during his quest earns him a position as a leader in the community.

When we say no to love, the contrast between what the love offered us and what we tried to exchange it for is obvious. We recognize without a doubt that the good we renounced was indeed in our best interests. Then we can pursue it with a whole heart. When we regain it, we know it is ours, and we deserve it by right of our consciousness. In the big picture, perhaps we had to say no first so we could become sure of the yes we eventually declare.

Let me hearken wholeheartedly to the call of love and renounce any delusions that fear could offer me more.

Love is my refuge and my salvation. I choose it with all my heart.

[majestyjo]

May 23

Step by Step

"It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. ...But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 66

Today, understand and accept that resentments are both futile and unhappy and, by holding onto them, these words are gospel: " ...(H)arboring such (resentment), we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die." Because I cannot afford to empower anything so strongly that my sobriety and, maybe, my life are imperiled, I will listen to my higher power for the way to release to Him my resentments without taking them back. By holding onto and later taking back resentment, I must see that I am still spiritually sick and that the sickness can trigger a slip or relapse. Today, I seek with sincerity and humility the courage, strength and willingness to release that which I cannot control - and not take it back. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

TRUSTING OTHERS

The three Ts of gratitude to repay the Program for our recovery: our TIME, our TALENT, our TRUST.

~ Anonymous ~

In our recovery, we are building trust in others and in ourselves. For the first time in our lives, we know that we can reveal ourselves completely to others without fear of being put down. When we get stuck with negative thoughts, it is important to find the strength of sharing with others in the Program.

At the same time, we are aware that others are placing trust in us not to use their sharing to benefit ourselves or to belittle them. By exchanging confidences and personal experiences, we are truly expressing our ability to love.

We hear that our entire Program rests on the principles of mutual trust. We trust God, we trust the 12 Steps, and we trust each other. The 2nd Tradition states that our leaders are but “trusted servants.”

When I share with others, I am also aware that they need me, just as I need them.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Seeing first one’s own defects and shortcomings is
Humility; the fruit of vision is tolerance.

~ Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham ~

The word bumble has its roots in the Latin word for earth, humus. That doesn’t mean that if I am humble I feel like dirt. It means that the earth is truly my mother. My flesh and bones, like all living creatures, are made of earth—nothing more and nothing less.

When I gain humility, I have myself in perspective. I like myself and I see how much I have in common with all my fellow human beings. This is truly a gift that I receive as part of living a spiritual life. It means I have acceptance and peace of mind. I don’t have to constantly compete. I can make mistakes and still have the possibility of repairing them. I can be okay even when no one is paying attention to me.

Today I will be open to receiving the gift of humility.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

In order to become responsible, it is imperative we take a close look at the effect our thoughts and beliefs have on our lives.

~ Susan Smith Jones ~

What’s on our minds and in our hearts is pretty easily interpreted by the people sharing our lives. Our demeanor, our attitude, our expression, even our gestures, speak loud and clear. The relationships we have with others mirror what is happening within ourselves.

Most of us crave control. We think we’d find lasting happiness if only others would do what we want. But wringing our hands over their independence won’t change anything. On the contrary, addressing our own behavior, our own thinking, our own attitudes can encourage the very behavior we tried to demand all along. This is one of the tiny miracles that comes with working this program.

Taking charge of every one of my actions, the loud as well as the very quiet, will give me the control I need—over me and no one else.

I will have the kind of day I want today. My relationships will give to me what I give to them in thought and deed.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can resist the urge to use

I think I won’t survive if I don’t have my drug. I think that if I can’t use, I’ll scream or smash something. I think I actually ache; it feels like I’m losing control.

And then suddenly I remember what I’ve learned from my counsellor and sponsor−if I hold off, the cravings will pass. They say that if I can distract myself for just four or five minutes, I will be OK. I believe my helpers (although each minute can feel like an hour). I want recovery badly. I can do what it takes to stay clean and sober.

I will pray for strength and courage. I will call my sponsor (or friend) as soon as I feel the urge to use.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.

~ Pierre Corneille ~

Most of us grew up learning it’s better to give than to receive. While it is true that it’s good to give to others in need, and to think of others before ourselves, some of us become dependent on giving as the only way we can feel good about ourselves. Our self-worth is so low that giving becomes necessary to our self-esteem and we are blind to what others are trying to share with us.

Now, we’re learning to share our blessings with others and let others share with us. We may share our feelings and thoughts, our time and talents, and our money and possessions, especially with those in need. But we need to be gracious and willing to receive what others want to share with us, too. The fellowship of our Twelve Step recovery program is based on such a willingness to share. Giving and receiving are meant to exist together, in balance.

Today may I be willing to receive what others wish to give me, even as I am willing to give to others.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I believe that he was really sorry that people would not believe he was sorry that he was not more sorry.

~ Samuel Butler ~

How much can people believe in what you say? In the past, you most likely made promises you did not keep or said what you thought others wanted to hear just to get them off your back. You may have told others you were sorry for something you had done. But your apology may have sounded less than sincere if it was snapped at another in anger—“I said I was sorry!”—or spoken with sarcasm—“Well, sor-ree!”

Just because you tell someone you are sorry may not be enough. You can certainly say those words—and de-liver them by using a tone of voice and body language that convey your regret—but you also need to take action to rectify the wrongs you have committed. Your words, combined with your actions, build trust.

Ask yourself, “Am I expressing that I am truly sorry simply because I am frustrated, or am I saying that I am sorry because I understand the harm I have done?” Then back up your words with actions that reflect your apology.

I want others to trust me. Today I will pay attention to the words I am saying and the actions I am taking to back up those words.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts.

~ Marcus Aurelius ~

If we give a group of children paper and crayons and ask them to draw a self-portrait, we will see that their choice of colors will communicate how they feel about themselves. Pastel colors can convey happiness and contentment; bright colors can reveal strong feelings; black or blue can mean sadness or pain.

"How would we color a picture of ourselves tonight? If our day has been good and we've kept our thoughts positive and focused in the present, our choice of colors will probably show contentment and serenity. If our thoughts today have been negative or focused on the past or future, we may choose colors that reflect confusion, fear, sadness, or insecurity.

We can steer clear of the blues tonight if we think of ourselves in happy colors. There's a whole rainbow of colors to feel−the choice is up to us.

What color is my soul tonight?

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Listening

A common saying in the program is “If you don’t like what you hear at this meeting, leave it here.” Many people do just that, they leave everything at the meetings. Most of us did not get better by listening only to what we wanted to hear.

What helped us in the long run was listening to things we didn’t want to hear, such as “Work the Steps, you’re no better than anyone else,” and “Don’t take that first fix, pill, or drink.” The hard work of recovery, the things we don’t want to do, are often the very things that make it possible for us to ar-rest our disease.

Am I listening to what I need to hear?

Higher Power, grant me the courage to listen to the hard things and apply them in my program today.

Today I will listen to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

~ MARK TWAIN ~

Newcomer

I’ve just come from a meeting where every single person but me got to share. I had my hand up the whole time, and it was still up when it was time for the meeting to end. The person who led the meeting looked at his watch and said, “It’s time to close.” There weren’t that many people at the meeting—I know he saw me. At times like this, I just want to forget this whole meeting thing.

Sponsor

I can understand your anger at feeling left out.

There are many meetings where the leader asks, a few moments before the closing, whether there’s anyone in the room who has “a burning desire” to share, and others where the leader may say, “Please don’t leave with a resentment; if you didn’t get to share, please talk to one of us after the meeting.” Sometimes the leader suggests that a person who didn’t get the opportunity to share lead the group in the closing prayer. Any of these ways of acknowledging our presence can be helpful. But if we need to share and aren’t given the opportunity, we can invite someone to join us for coffee, or we can call our sponsor.

With rare exceptions, Twelve Step program meetings begin and end precisely as scheduled. For me, it’s comforting to be able to depend on that. In the old days, there wasn’t much I could count on other than my addiction.

Today, I create opportunities for sharing.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

“God created the world and God saw everything He had made, and behold, it was very good.” He gave man dominion over the world and we have badly fouled it up.

This world, with all its wars, crimes, sins and sorrows, is truly our world−not the one God made.

Alcoholics and non-alcoholics alike must get out of the driver’s seat, admit we are powerless over our baser instincts and let God take over.

Then our world will become His world again and it will be very good indeed.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

A TIME TO FAST

Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly (Matthew 6:16−18).

Jesus takes the practice of fasting for granted. Now the most profitable method of fasting is abstention from negative or error thoughts. In some cases it is necessary to abstain for a time from thinking about a particular problem at all. There are certain problems, usually those that you have been mulling over too much, that are overcome “only by prayer and fasting.” In such a case it is best to give the problem a definite and final prayer, and then to leave it alone, for a time; or else hand it over bodily to someone else to handle for you, after which you keep your thoughts completely away from it.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Time Out

If you ever feel that you should do something, lie down until the feeling passes.

~ Arnold Patent ~

Every activity of life is enhanced by rest. From golf to boxing, players are given time between their performances to step back, renew themselves, and get a perspective. The greatest creators and inventors make use of frequent periods to tap into their creative unconscious: Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein were known for taking cat naps in the midst of their experiments, and returning with powerful insights. The Bible tells us that God created the heavens and the earth in six days, and on the seventh day he rested.

If the Creator of the Universe took a day off to rest, certainly you and I can! Yet how many of us stop to recharge our batteries and remember that there is more to life than incessant activity? We live in a society obsessed with terminal doingness. We believe that our worth is determined by how much we produce, and we fear that if we step back for even a moment we will get behind and someone else will get ahead. Insanity!

The cycle of activity and rest is as natural as day and night, as colorful as the seasons, and as vital as breathing. If you are always on the go, stopping to catch your breath will only empower you. Effective resting is an art that truly successful people have mastered.

The next time you feel overwhelmed, have the presence of mind to stop and catch your breath—it will make all the difference.

I pray to be renewed by the breath of life You give me. Help me to step back and allow You to be reborn in me that I may be reborn in the world.

I breathe deeply. I am empowered by the cycles of creation.

[caressa222]

May 24

Step by Step

"Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back. This just isn't so. In some cases, the (spouse) will never come back ...(R)ecovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 7, pp 99-100.

Today, understanding why my alcoholism and recovery are dependent only on me and that I cannot make them a condition on what someone else does or how some situation plays out. Just as none of those can be "blamed" for my drinking, neither can they be the reason for my recovery. To place my sobriety on someone or something else does little more than reinforce my refusal to take responsibility and consequences, and exert emotional blackmail on an external source that I cannot or will not stop drinking if I don't get from them what I want. Today, my alcoholism and my character and spiritual defects are my responsibility and no one else's. Likewise, no one and nothing outside of me are responsible for my recovery. And if addiction is as selfish as the program says, then so it is for my recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LISTENING

Before engaging your mouth, put your mind in gear.

~ Anonymous ~

Our world is full of speechmakers who would serve better if they learned the importance of listening. The ability to hear is stressed within our group. It is true that we owe it to fellow members to tell the valuable lessons we learn while dealing with reality. But by listening, we can find truth from outside ourselves, too. Old-timers sometimes remind us to “take the cotton out of our ears and put it in our mouth.”

An old proverb says, “When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.” Another tells us, “Find a teacher and you will find a friend.” When we learn to be attentive, we continue to be “students” long after our “school years” are over. Even when we read, we can listen well to truths.

One gift of being a good listener is to hear unexpectedly some truth I may have been told before but was not ready to hear.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Old man whose sperm swims in my veins come back in love, come back in pain.

~ Toi Derricotte ~

A man who never knew his father said, “My father had no influence on me.” Then, as he pondered that thought further, he realized his father had had a great influence on him by his absence. In fact, he had searched all his life to learn what his father was like and had often wondered if his father would be proud of him.

Many of us grew up feeling the absence of our fathers, either because they were physically gone or be-cause they were emotionally disconnected from us. We patched together a youth in which we grew up and became adult men, but we continue to wonder about that man whose genes shape us. What was he like?

For some of us it is still possible, as grown men, to change our relationships with our fathers, to bring up personal topics with them, to ask about their lives. For many of us that isn’t possible, but all of us can learn to live in better ways. We can now develop genuine personal relationships with other men who have real feelings. And we become happier, more courageous, and wholesome men by doing so.

Today I will have a genuine personal conversation with another man.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

But we don’t know what we really want, so we don’t know where to look.

~ Mary McDermott Shideler ~

In vague terms we know what we want. We want happiness, serenity, agreeable relationships, meaningful work, good health, freedom from worry. But how do we attain these desires?

We may not have a detailed picture of exactly what we want, but in this program we never lack knowledge of how to proceed in any activity. Utilizing the first three Steps clarifies our next move. No situation needs to baffle us. We always have the program for guidance.

Before recovery, we looked to our drug of choice for our happiness and the solutions to our problems. When we didn’t find them, we relied on relationships or jobs or food to fulfill our dreams. Again and again we were disappointed. We simply didn’t know where to look for the help we needed. We’ll never lack the knowledge again.

I will look to my Higher Power and people I can trust for the guidance to my happiness today. I know what I want; I can find it.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

Recovery is my first priority

When I was in treatment for my dual disorder, I would rather have been at work. I was surprised how much I missed my job and my co-workers. There were the unpaid bills and, of course, the uncertainty of my future.

It’s still hard for me to take the time to deal with these illnesses. But as I feel better−it gets easier for me to see that career and money aren’t everything. I trust that I will be healthier and happier in the long run if I deal with these illnesses as needed. And I realize that it takes time. But recovery is my first priority.

I will pray for strength to let go of my fears and clarity to focus on my recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We believe in Human Ecology, the understanding and care of human beings as whole persons in light of their relationship to God, themselves, their families, and the society in which they live.

~ The Philosophy of Human Ecology ~

The philosophy of Human Ecology covers all three aspects of our recovery: body, mind, and spirit.

We know that taking care of our bodies is essential to recovery. That means eating properly, exercising as much as we can, and not abusing ourselves physically.

Taking care of our minds is also important. We are trying to make choices that enhance our recovery, not diminish it. This includes the things we read, watch, and listen to. We seek out education and positive affirmation. We go to meetings. We gather with others who share our vision.

Spirituality is the common thread through all of this, for without it we are lost. Our spiritual search is our effort to improve our conscious contact with God. Through this search comes harmony of body, mind, and spirit.

Today let me remember the principles of Human Ecology. They provide a simple reminder of where I’ve been and where I am going.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

But the beginning of things ...is necessarily vague, tangled, chaotic, and exceedingly disturbing.

~ Kate Chopin ~

You may be someone who has entered the program not once, but several times. You may have left because you did not view your problem as that bad. Or you broke away because you thought others in the program were a bunch of lunatics or that the program was some form of religious cult. Perhaps you were not strong enough to resist the pull of your habit. Whatever your reason, relapse is something that is all too familiar to addicts. Sometimes the program is not a “one and done,” but a process of starting over multiple times.

But any relapse usually begins in much the same way: with the expectation that things will be different this time around. You may be able to use less than you had in the past. But you are still using nonetheless. And, even though you think you may be in control this time, the control will never be in your hands. It is and always will be with the habit.

So, today, which will you choose: to submit to the lure of your addiction and see if, this time around, things will be different, or to appreciate a new day that is filled with promise and purpose?

Today I will be free from my habit. I am committed to my recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. And bad habits can be broken, good habits formed.

~ William James ~

Nail biting, foot shaking, hair twirling, finger tapping, and hand wringing are all ways of showing nervous tension. We most likely have these habits unconsciously. To stop, we can use the tools of the program as if we are breaking an obsession. We can use the slogans and Steps to give us first the awareness and then the strength to break the nervous habits. We can also learn good habits with which to replace the old.

For example, we may be very nervous before a meeting starts. So we sit there biting our nails, perpetuating the bad habit. We can replace that bad habit with a good one like volunteering to make the coffee. By doing so, we'll keep our hands and minds busy until the meeting begins. By using the program to deal with bad habits and choosing positive replacements for them, we can change our bad behaviors into good ones.

What are some of my bad habits? Tonight I can think of good habits to replace my bad ones.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Accepting our addiction

I can’t be a drug addict or an alcoholic because I can quit anytime I want to, because I use only on weekends, because I never drink anything but beer or use anything but grass, because I am too young. We have heard these excuses many times and perhaps we have used them ourselves. But ignorance and denial can kill us.

Only honest acceptance of the truth can free us from our addiction. Old-timers are fond of saying that people don’t get to this program by mistake. If we are reading this page today, let’s hope all these excuses are behind us.

Have I stopped denying my addiction?

God, grant me the courage to let go of the excuses and accept the truth about myself.

I will acknowledge my addiction today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

This program is a little bit like ice cream: the basic substance is the same, but it comes in a variety of flavors.

~ WOMAN IN RECOVERY ~

Newcomer

I’ve been going to a meeting that, frankly, I just don’t like. There’s something dark and depressing about it. But I keep hearing people say that this disease is “cunning, baffling, and powerful.” I wonder if maybe that’s my problem. I could be fooling myself. Maybe I don’t know what’s good for me. Maybe I’m just lazy.

Sponsor

Let’s take a practical look at your situation. This meeting you so dislike—do you have to make the best of it for now? Or is there one at another time or in another place that you can try out? It doesn’t hurt to “change your seat” in recovery once in a while. I like to go to beginner’s meetings, to meetings where there are people with long-term recovery, to anniversary meetings, to Step meetings, to large meetings where there’s a feeling of high energy, to small meetings where I know I’ll get the chance to share. We’re lucky to have such variety available. Sometimes I travel a bit farther to get to meetings I particularly like. But I also have a home group, where I show up on a regular basis and let people get to know me. That way I can’t hide.

You’ve sensed, rightly, that being consistent is good for us. But principles exist to guide us, not to punish ourselves with.

As I let the principles of the program guide me today,

I use gentleness and common sense. I reason things out with my sponsor. I change my seat and take a fresh look at things.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The only impossible thing in the world is a full conception of the things that are possible.

Within the limits of our lifetime we have seen many marvels; the transmission of sound and pictures across the continent without visible needs; we cook and freeze with the same unit of energy; man can now exert a force of twenty thousand pounds simply by pushing a button. Nothing seems beyond the vision of the scientist in his study and use of the unlimited forces of Nature.

The power of God, however, is still virgin territory. Man hasn’t scratched the surface in his efforts to put this force to work for man. When this is accomplished the word “impossible” will not be in anybody’s dictionary.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

OUR TRUE HOME

Our true home is in the present moment.
To live in the present moment is a miracle.
The miracle is not to walk on water.
The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment,
To appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now.
Peace is all around us−
In the world and in nature−
And within us−
In our bodies and our spirits.
Once we learn to touch this peace,
We will be healed and transformed.
It is not a matter of faith;
It is a matter of practice.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOUR HEART FOLLOWS YOUR TREASURE

Read Matthew 6:16−23.

If your consciousness is right, that is, if you have a good understanding of God as the loving Source of your boundless supply, you will always be able to demonstrate whatever money or goods you may require. You cannot want for anything when once you truly realize that in Divine mind demand and supply are one. And, on the contrary, until you do realize this, you never will be really safe from want.

In the long run, no one can retain what does not belong to him by right of consciousness, nor be deprived of that which is truly his by the same supreme title.

If you are looking to outer, passing, mutable things for either happiness or security, you are not putting God first. If you are putting God first in your life, you will not find yourself labouring under undue anxiety about anything, for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also (Matthew 6:21)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Be Good to Yourself

When I tune into my beautiful self I get happiness. Everything in the universe belongs to me.

~ Dick Gregory ~

One of my favorite places to speak is at a chapel overseen by Rev. Chris Chenoweth, one of the most gracious and generous people I have ever met. Chris just loves to say “Yes!” Whenever I speak at his church, he does everything he can to support my work, materially and spiritually.

Rev. Chenoweth inspired me when he gave me some insights into his own life. "I just love my new hot tub!” he exclaimed during one visit. When I saw him the next year, he suggested, "You’ll have to come to my house and enjoy my new big-screen TV.” A year later, Chris was eagerly awaiting the arrival of his new Honda motorcycle. Chris’s delight with his toys showed me that he had a complete prosperity consciousness— he was just as generous with himself as he was with others. He proved that when Spirit showers love, It does not leave anyone out.

Real humility is not denying the gifts of God; it is accepting them. Material gifts are just a symbol of God’s abundance. The real gifts are the gifts of spirit—joy, aliveness, laughter, love, appreciation, compassion, and many more. If you give to others, materially or spiritually, and you leave yourself out, you cannot say that you are a true giver. Accept for yourself what you are giving to others, and your life will be a more valuable teaching than your words.

Help me love completely. Let me enjoy the blessings of giving. I am willing to receive as much as I give.

All that I give is given to myself

[caressa222]

May 25

Step by Step

"The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning are unforgettable. The courage to do battle was not there. (The) brain raced uncontrollably and there was a terrible sense of impending calamity. ...(A) mental fog settled down. Gin would fix that. So two bottles, and - oblivion." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 1, p 6.

Today, gratitude that I awoke today without regret of what I did or said last night, without dread of what this day will bring and without fear that some unknown disaster is about to explode and I don't know where to hide. Today, I have clarity of all I said and did last night, no dread of what these 24 Hours will serve and no need to run from a non-existent fear. AA has strengthened me with faith and trust in a higher power who, in turn, has graced me with faith in the 12 Steps and, above all, with sobriety. But I cannot take for granted that I awoke sober today and with a sense of purpose. My reprieve from all those morning after's of so many yesterday's is only for this day, and this day I must continue to work toward awakening to the next 24 Hours without "remorse, horror and hopelessness." And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

REALITY

The 12 Steps can only take us as far as we allow them to take us.

~ Anonymous ~

We gave up believing that we could avoid the pain of life by retreating into a dream world. A short time of sharing in a 12 Step Group, however, will prove that fantasy is more dangerous than fact simply because it lacks substance. We cannot afford guesswork; any decision must be based on truths.

We find that reality never changes, but our attitude toward it can. We are not responsible for what happens to us, but our reactions to experiences are ours alone. Reality tells us not to waste time avoiding being what we dislike being, but to bear down on becoming the person we want to be. Reality gives us simple, concrete answers rather than empty dreams.

How I react to reality makes my reality. If I react to anger with love instead of more anger, or if I react to a crisis with faith instead of fear, I am creating a reality of love and faith instead of anger and fear.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When I was small I was very naughty and my father chased me with his belt to give me a thrashing. Maybe that was how I got accustomed to running.

~ Fermin Cacho, 1992 Olympic champion ~

Not all bad things are all bad. All of us can look back at things that happened to us, bad experiences, painful times, and still say that we became better men for the experience. Men who have had cancer, men who spent years in prison, even unjustly accused, men who were abused—all have said that they used the experience to grow and improve. That is the sign of a good man.

Artists say that great design often occurs when they are forced to work within the limits of a situation. The outcome is not their original vision but an evolution into something surprising and wonderful. In this program we hear the stories of many others who struggled with great challenges but used their struggles toward constructive results. A great runner doesn’t become great because he was chased by his father with a belt, but because he used his experiences to make something positive out of it. Our recovery is an example of that very thing.

Today I will seek ways to turn my challenges into creative responses.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When I’m confused, I just try to do the next right thing.

~ Cathy Stone ~

In the past, we eagerly sought freedom from our obsessions through alcohol and other drugs. We learned, after many harrowing experiences, that an altered mood didn’t solve anything. The obsession remained. But there is a way to be free of obsession, and we have been selected to experience it.

Why have we been graced with recovery? We may never know. Many people never get the chance at another life. Because we have been given the chance, we may fear that it will be taken away unless we do everything right. So we obsessively worry. A good sponsor tells us that all we ever have to do is quietly ask ourselves, what is the next right thing to do? And then do it. It’s not mysterious. A moment’s contemplation clarifies what we should do. Doing it is all that’s left.

Today I can live an experience at a time. Keeping my focus small will never leave me in doubt as to what to do.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning to cry

Feeling sad and alone was terrible. But I felt even worse when I wanted to cry and was afraid to. I was afraid of feeling so much pain at once that I wouldn’t be able to stand it. I was afraid that if I let my emotions out, no one would pay attention and I would be left alone with them.

Eventually, during a session with my therapist, I could no longer hold back the pain and the tears came. At first I felt overwhelmed, then angry, then sad. After a while, I finally felt some relief. By no longer holding in my strong feelings, I can see that they are valid and honourable, and they will not destroy me.

I will look for a safe place to cry, and when needed, a safe person to cry with.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I am trying to come closer to the origins of this loss of the self.

~ Alice Miller ~

Sometimes, we may feel as if we have created a “false self.” Often, after we’ve been in recovery for a while, we begin to realize that we’ve been wearing a mask and hiding behind it. We did it to protect ourselves from the pain and uncertainty of our lives. And during those years of drinking or drugging, we had no interest in learning who we really were.

Have we created false selves to mask our real personalities? As we grow in recovery, our reclaimed honesty will help us answer this. When we’re true to ourselves and our feelings, we’ll come to know and enjoy our values. We are becoming people we respect and love. We’ll come to make better choices, building a new life around our real selves.

We can establish our true selves by sharing openly our thoughts, feelings, needs, desires, and concerns with those around us.

Today help me share who I really am.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Immature love says: “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says: “I need you because I love you.”

~ Erich Fromm ~

In the past, you may have viewed any loving relation-ship as a sort of joint bank account that you could draw from repeatedly. You most likely contributed little to the account, but used its resources whenever you could. You depended upon this account and may have often taken for granted that it would always be there for you. But money in a joint bank account cannot last long when one person is depleting and not replenishing its funds.

Love thrives when there is a balance of give and take between two people. If one takes, the other is left with-out. But when one gives, the other is enriched. When two people contribute in this way, security is built and the needs of both can grow.

Recovery offers a time in which you can replenish the depleted accounts that supported you in the past. You can now be a contributor, a giver, and a provider of love. You will still be able to withdraw from these accounts, but with more consideration for how much you are taking for yourself and how much you are giving to others.

I invest in those I love by giving them time, attention, and care.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind can achieve the second.

~ Logan Pearsall Smith ~

Through our work in the program, we are learning a new way of life. We may never achieve all we want in life, but along the way we may find ourselves enriched by our progress. Perhaps we didn't argue with our partners last week or maybe we made plans on our own or tried something new. How did we celebrate such great gains? Have we spent time enjoying the good things in our lives?

When we make any gain, we need to stop for a moment and enjoy it. No gain is too small to be recognized and enjoyed. All the time we have to enjoy our progress is right now. Let's take time to enjoy the fruits of our labors.

What gains−big or small−have I made today? Tonight I can enjoy the gains while they are fresh in my mind. I have done well.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Living in the now

“Just for today.” “Live in the now.” “It’s a twenty-four-hour program.” Ask for sobriety and cleanness each day upon arising. Take a daily inventory.

Such slogans and recommendations show that our predecessors considered the twenty- four-hour approach to be pretty important.

Can I see how this is true? Do I practice living one day at a time?

God, grant me the patience to live in today and the insight for a better tomorrow.

Today I will work at living in the now by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Character is what you are in the dark.

~ DWIGHT MOODY ~

Newcomer

People in this program are always talking about not “isolating.” Does that mean I’m supposed to be around people all the time? That doesn’t sound very adult to me. I like spending time alone, when I can get it.

Sponsor

There’s a big difference between solitude and isolation. Many of us do work that requires being alone, and many of us welcome opportunities to read, meditate, enjoy nature, listen to music, or whatever nourishes our spirit, in our own company. When we are in tune with ourselves and our Higher Power, spending time alone doesn’t have to mean loneliness. Like prayer, solitude can replenish us and give us a calmer, more centered self to bring back into the company of our fellow human beings.

There’s another way of being alone, which is not beneficial. When we become preoccupied with an anxiety or obsession that keeps us from living in the present moment, when we’re thirsting for understanding but scared or un-willing to open ourselves to anyone else, when we believe that we’re hopelessly unique and not meant to be a part of the human family—these things foster a sense of isolation similar to that which we experienced when we were active in our addictions.

Getting to a daily meeting, talking with a sponsor, checking in with a good friend, letting someone know the truth of how we’re doing—these are some of the ways to avoid becoming dangerously isolated.

Today, I make time for solitude and companionship.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

One cute little darling and that spoiled brat across the street do exactly the same tricks.

Man is so constructed that he cannot be absolutely impartial. It is contrary to human nature.

We can, however, pause and reflect before we pass judgement, and we can try to put ourselves in the other fellow’s position. We are prone to judge him solely on his acts while we judge our acts by our motives and thus excuse ourselves.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

BLESSING FOR PARTNERS (APACHE BLESSING)

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter for the other.

Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there will be no loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two persons,
But there is only one life before you.

May beauty surround you both
In journey ahead and through all the years.

May happiness be your companion and
Your days together will be good and long upon the earth.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE SINGLE EYE

If you pray for yourself in the right way every day, you will find that the minor things of life will gradually fall correctly into place of their own accord without any trouble on your part. Contrast this with the usual method of trying to get everything right by separately organizing a thousand petty details, and you will appreciate how wonderfully the new spiritual basis sets you free. If therefor thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light (Matthew 6:22)

The eye symbolizes spiritual perception. Whatever you give your attention to, is the thing that governs your life. Attention is the key. Your free will lies in the directing of your attention. Whatever you steadfastly direct your attention to, will come into your life and dominate it. If you do not direct your attention consistently to anything in particular−and many people do not−then nothing in particular will come into your life except uncertainty and suspense.

If the Glory of God comes first with you, and to express His Will becomes the rule of your life, then your eye is single and your whole body, or embodiment, will be full of light.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Then I Saw the Picture

If we could read the secret histories of our enemies, we should find in each man's life, sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ~

“After I killed him, I went through his pockets to search for valuables,” Jack soberly told our seminar group. “It was standard practice in Vietnam.” Jack’s eyes began to tear, and his voice started to shake. "What I found changed my life: In this soldier's pocket was a photo of his wife and young child. I stopped in my tracks. Although I had killed many Vietnamese in the war, they always seemed just a faceless enemy. Suddenly I realized I had killed a real person with a family like my own. I could not do it again. As soon as I could, I made arrangements to be transferred."

We keep enemies by not looking at them. The moment we look into the eyes or the heart of one we call enemy, we recognize ourselves.

If there is someone from whom you feel estranged, look into their eyes. If you can do this in person, you will see their innocence behind the drama and feel your oneness with them. If it is not possible to do this with them physically, call them to you in spirit, and mentally look into their eyes. When you touch someone's soul, you cannot long hold resentment. The eyes are the windows of the soul, but they are also the mirror of yourself.

When I visited the Soviet Union with citizen diplomacy groups, we shared family photos with the Russians. We placed their pictures on mantels or altars at home, and they did the same. It is quite difficult to imagine dropping bombs on people who are just like us.

War will end when we realize that people are not our enemies. Fear is the root of separateness, and the consciousness of our unity is the healer.

I pray to release all thoughts of separateness and enmity. From this day on, may I call everyone I meet and know my friend.

I am one with all of my sisters, brothers, and the earth.

[caressa222]

May 26

Step by Step

" ...We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5, pp 66-7.

Today, let go of resentments and other ill feelings I might harbor for someone else. I cannot justify anger and anything else bad against anyone if I hope or expect no one to have such feelings toward me. If I claim spiritual disease as the root of my own misconduct, I have to allow the same to those who have offended me. While I might never grow to like the person I believe has offended me, rightfully or not, I cannot work toward revenge or hopes that something bad befalls that other person. Today, as I hope no one wishes me ill, I cannot justify hoping the worst for someone else. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CHARACTER

Fame is what you have taken. Character is what you give. When to this truth you awaken, then you begin to live.

~ Bayard Taylor ~

Longtimers continually tell newcomers to strive to build a strong character for use in facing the world’s realities. Sometimes they leave the impression that character is what others think about us. But the opinion others have about us is not important. Character is what we are, not what others think we are.

We are not born with character. It is developed through patience and much humility. It is what we are in the dark. Our character is revealed by an outer show of an inner glow. It is our reserve force for living. It is more useful than talent and shows itself best during our contact with others.

Today, I’ll remember my character can be a force that respects truth, develops will and spirit, accents positive action, and makes all of these assets evident to other people.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.

~ Rachel Carson ~

Where do we turn for contemplation and contact with a spiritual source? Many men find it in nature. They look out the window at a handsome tree. They go for a walk outdoors, feed the birds, let themselves be awed by the sight of the moon on a dark night. The natural world offers our most direct, tangible contact with something eternal. We are part of something much larger than ourselves, something that endures for the ages.

The beauty of nature inspires awe, which is a form of reverence. We walk along a canyon rim and God is there. We walk through prairie grasses and wildflowers teeming with wildlife, the wind blows in our faces, and our spirits rise. These natural beauties endure forever.

Today, as I look at the natural world, I see God.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

If you have to swallow a toad, don't stare at it too long.

~ Connie Hilliard ~

We have been blessed with a second chance. None of us could have expected to survive had we continued using alcohol and other drugs to excess. We were on a collision course with death, but the grace of God intervened, setting us down on this recovery path. The path continues to feel rocky at times, but we now have tools that promise us smoother traveling. We have to care enough to use them.

Attitude adjustment is a tool whose use we must all begin to master. Before recovery, seldom did we accept turmoil, no matter how minor, with a positive attitude. We were intent on forcing solutions or controlling those we thought we loved. Our failures fueled our drinking. Now our failures fuel our negative attitude. But we can take charge of our attitude. We don’t have to love a circumstance to respond positively to it.

Many things will happen today that I won’t necessarily love. I can accept them and cultivate a peaceful attitude, or I can pout and be miserable. The choice is mine.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

By accepting my past, I accept my present

I grew up in a household dominated by a parent with a severe dual disorder. There was too little security or love or food. I was a child−helpless and stuck.

In recovery from my own dual disorder, I am discovering that while I cannot change the past, I can try to understand it and learn from it. As my past becomes clearer to me, my life−and how I experience it−appear in a new light. For example, I can now re-examine my rigidity, perfectionism, and especially my fear of change. As I accept my past and its lessons, I come to accept my present (and myself) more.

I will ask my counsellor to help me explore my family of origin.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Everything’s got a moral if only you can find it.

~ Lewis Caroll ~

We must make many choices in our recovery. Some of these will strengthen our character, for they will be hard to make and sometimes even harder to accept. One of the most meaningful sayings in our program is “Let go and let God.” We understand its true meaning when we are faced with adversity and we feel needlessly hurt.

If we are to let go of a problem, we must feel in our hearts that no matter what the outcome, our Higher Power has a special purpose for us. We may not be able to see that purpose now, but if we let our Higher Power guide us, we will be guided down the right path. If we do our best to detach from our pain and try to see a more peaceful future, we will feel secure in God’s hands. Given this security, we’ll be free to direct our energy toward positive, healthy choices that will bring us more of the happiness we deserve.

Today help me let go and let God, even when it hurts.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature—the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after the winter.

~ Rachel Carson ~

Imagine opening the morning paper and reading the following headline: Today has been cancelled due to lack of interest. Perhaps you are overjoyed at this headline. You were not looking forward to the day anyway. In fact, you would have preferred to stay in bed.

Now imagine opening the morning paper and reading the following headline: Tomorrow has been cancelled due to lack of interest. Perhaps you really were not looking forward to today, but to think that tomorrow will not come can make you think twice about how you will spend today.

No matter what lies ahead of you today, if you think of it as something you have to endure just so you can get through it, then chances are you will get very little out of it. Even if today were cancelled, you might not miss it. But if you can think of this time as the only time you have— one in which there is no understanding of a tomorrow that has not happened—then you have the opportunity to experience a deep connection with every minute in it.

Today I will connect with everything and everyone around me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I think the important thing is caring about someone. It's being by themselves that does people in, makes them old and bitter.

~ Thomas Tryon ~

Isolation is always a choice. We choose the times we wish to be with people and the times we don't. Sometimes we choose to be alone to center ourselves−to “get away from it all." But when we start to spend too much time away from others, it's time to take a look at the reasons for our isolation.

Perhaps we're afraid to take risks with people and expose our vulnerable selves to them. Or maybe we feel people wouldn't really like us if they knew us. We may believe people will only hurt us, and we can look back into our past to recall such times.

But we are different people today. We're involved in a program based on love, trust, faith, and hope. It is a program centered on meetings filled with people caring for one another−exchanging phone numbers, hugging, getting together for coffee, listening, and understanding. It is our choice: isolation or the wonderful benefits of people caring for people.

Do I feel isolated tonight? How can I feel more connected?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Hanging-on days

Some days in this program you just have to “hang on.” Somehow we lose contact with our Higher Power and we don’t feel right about anything. So we need to learn what to do to get reconnected, what to do to feel better.

Pray. Meditate. Keep in touch with fellow addicts and our sponsor. Work the Steps. Hang on. Time will take away most of our fears, but we should expect, and be prepared for, some days of just “hanging on.” The important point is: Do I have something to hang on to?

Higher Power, on those days when I am just hanging on, let me hang on to your love for me.

I will strengthen my hold on sobriety today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Loneliness is the most terrible poverty.

~ MOTHER TERESA ~

Newcomer

When I was active, I was sometimes the life of the party, but often I sat on the edges of groups and just couldn’t wait to get home and be alone with my drug of choice. Some-times when I’m at a meeting, I feel the same way: I’m irritated with everyone in the room, antsy, anxious to leave. Then it’s over and I get to be alone, but I still feel rotten.

Sponsor

If relating to other people was hard for us in the past, it makes sense that we haven’t learned to like or trust people overnight. Depending on our histories, openness to people comes more easily and naturally to some of us than to others. If our past relationships were based on addictive sub-stances or compulsive behaviors, we may not be aware that there are people who like us as we are and who don’t intend to exploit or manipulate us.

This is an area in which “acting as if” can help us to have new experiences and eventually change our perspective. Sitting in the circle instead of on the edge; raising our hand to share when we least feel like it; forcing ourselves to speak even very briefly to at least one or two people at every meeting; making a daily call to our sponsor and to other recovering people—any one of these may be more difficult for us than reading the literature, working the Steps, or even staying away from our drug of choice. But it’s our spiritual homework. The more we practice, the easier it gets.

Today, I take an action to counter any tendency to isolate with my disease.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Doubt is the opposite of Faith. No man has either one completely, but even those of little faith have by far more faith than doubt. He may not admit a belief in God or the inherent good in mankind but still there are numberless things in which he has no doubt.

If he did not have some faith he would be afraid to go to sleep for fear he wouldn’t waken; he would refuse to eat a meal unless he cooked it himself. He would be afraid to leave his wife to go to work or to leave his job to return to his wife for fear they would not be there when he returned.

Reduced to its simplest form, life is good or bad in proportion to our faith and our doubts.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

WHO ARE YOU TO SAY THERE IS NO GOD?

As I reflected on this question I tumbled out of bed to my knees.
I am overwhelmed by a conviction of the presence of God.
It pours through me with the certainty and majesty of a great tide at flood.
The barriers I have built denying Your Spirit through the years are swept away.
I stand now in the presence of Your Infinite Power and Love.
I have stepped from bridge to shore.
For the first time, I live in conscious companionship with my Creator.

~ Adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed., published by AA World Services, Inc., New York, N.Y., p. 56. ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

ONE ALLEGIANCE

Read Matthew 6:24−33.

Many Christians accept these facts theoretically, but are less than halfhearted when it comes to their practical application, and this vacillation lands them in difficulties that always follow upon inconsistency and weakness. To try to rest sometimes upon the material basis, and sometimes upon the spiritual, is to try to serve two masters, and this of course cannot be done. Ye cannot serve God, and mammon (Matthew 6:24)

Man is essentially spiritual, the image and likeness of God, and therefore he is made for the spiritual basis, and he cannot really succeed on any other.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

When the Student Is Ready

When you pray, you pray amiss. Give thanks for the answers to your prayers before you see them manifested.

~ Jesus Christ ~

The men were huddled round the cassette player, listening intently. As I entered Victor's room, I heard a strong voice from the tape: "You are a divine being, created in the image and likeness of perfection. Live the life you were born to live, and never compromise with fear." I was magnetized to the power and authority with which the speaker delivered a stirring address. After the lecture, I asked, "Who was that? Where can I get that tape?"

The three fellows looked at each other sheepishly, and Victor answered, "l don't know."

"How can you not know? Isn't there a label on it?"

"The label is blank," Victor answered. "I got the tape at Radio Shack. I bought a new package of three blank cassettes, and this was one of them."

When Spirit wants to get through to you, it will find a way. We never need to struggle to connect with the right people or teachings. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Everyone and everything that shows up in our life comes to us by vibrational attraction. When you are vibrating at a particular frequency, you draw to yourself all that is in harmony with that frequency. That is why it is useless to try to force the universe to do anything. The level at which human force operates is puny, trivial, and impotent in light of the mighty strength of Spirit to manifest your highest good without struggle on your part.

If you want to attract the right job, mate, or living situation, give up fighting to make it happen. Instead, bring yourself into vibrational harmony with the object of your desire. In meditation, prayer, and affirmation, visualize and feel your oneness with the thing you want. When you are energetically unified with your vision, the universe will lay it at your doorstep in miraculous ways.

I pray to attract my highest good easily, gently, and joyfully.

I let go of struggle and allow Spirit to manifest my good.

[majestyjo]

May 27

Step by Step

Today, appreciation to the spouse, companion, brothers and sisters, parents, children and friends who wanted to help me as I spiraled out of control but who I shut out, who were and are still there in my recovery. In being focused on my own recovery and working the steps, I have probably been negligent to admit that the hell I put someone else through might have been worse than my own. And I have to acknowledge that they, too, have their own recoveries to work. Today, I will be grateful and offer to anyone who stayed with me a simple thank you and, to them, my superior amend is that, today, I can and will stay sober. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SUCCESS

Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pockets.

~ American Proverb ~

All too often, we hear someone’s success explained as “a stroke of good luck.” Success and progress are no more the result of good luck than failure is the result of bad luck. Natural ability is of little use unless we develop habits of hard work. Brilliance is born in some, but labor or action is of greater importance.

We perform to the best of our ability when we work for the work’s sake, not for any hope of fame. Success results from hard work and confidence in our judgement. The degree of success depends on the amount of good judgement used. Good advice and judgement from others is helpful, but the doing is entirely ours.

Success is simply the use of the abilities I have. I must treat them as practical tools, not “magical gifts.” Nobody travels my road for me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

An error doesn’t become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.

~ Orlando A. Battista ~

In our lives, we have always been drawn to extremes. If it isn’t white, it must be black. If a little bit feels good, we take a lot. If we are going to do something, only perfection is good enough. So if we don’t win, we lose, and if we can’t do it perfectly, we feel like a failure.

In this program we learn to seek progress, not perfection. And we can only make progress by trial and error. We learn nothing if we don’t try new things and then learn from our errors. We don’t jump into perfect sobriety the moment we decide to enter this program of recovery. When we surrender to our powerlessness over our addictions and codependency, we have to begin to learn how to live in a new way. It doesn’t just happen all at once. So when we take our errors and our slips and agree to learn from them, we become stronger in our sobriety.

Today I accept my imperfection as a permanent condition, and I will keep coming back to the program of recovery.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We each need a successful experience in order to grow in self-esteem.

~ Joan Gilbertson ~

What constitutes a successful experience? Far too many of us demand the nearly impossible of ourselves before we feel we are a success. Although we don’t need a six-figure salary or an advanced degree to be successful, we may have been encouraged to set impossible-to-achieve goals, or we may have drawn up our own list of unrealistic expectations. In either case, we never saw ordinary achievements as success. Yet we are successful! Every one of us! It’s our definition of success that is wrong, not our attempts to succeed.

We must redefine success and then count the myriad ways we demonstrate it at this moment. Success is staying clean and sober, today. Success is thinking before replying to a comment or question. Success is showing respect to everyone around us. Success is sharing the program with someone in need today. Success is feeling gratitude for how far we have come. Success is trusting that our Higher Power will take us even further tomorrow.

Each day gives me as many successes as I want. My own actions will determine today’s success.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to feel closer to my higher power

I am working on the prayer and meditation Step, Step Eleven, and I have two problems: (a) The only prayers I know (learned in childhood) are not part of me anymore; and (b) I am uncomfortable with the idea of meditation because I don’t like silence or being alone. Yet I want to become more spiritual and feel more connected to my higher power.

Fortunately, what I hear from my fellow members is that it’s important to find my own ways to connect with my higher power−there are many ways−prayer and meditation are only suggestions. One person suggested that simply making a phone call to give, or receive, support could be considered a form of prayer. I appreciate such ideas. Perhaps I am already closer to my higher power than I thought.

Today I will take ten minutes to ask myself two questions: What is my higher power? And, When (and how) do I feel connected to my higher power?

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

If you want the truth, I will tell you the truth: Friend, listen: the God whom I love is inside.

~ Kabir ~

Why is it some days when we wake up and look in the mirror, we feel saddened by the view? We have been our own harshest critics. The sound of that inner voice scolding us can be deafening. It can drown out the real music in our lives. We would never greet a friend this way; why do we treat ourselves so harshly?

There is a good, loving human being standing in our shoes, and all the power of a loving Higher Power waiting to be recognized. All we need to do is be quiet, look a little longer, harder, and more gently, and we’ll see and hear our Higher Power.

Our way of life is changing and improving each day, at our own best pace. With gentle patience, we begin to become more aware of our Higher Power. As we do, we will be able to listen and be guided by this loving, calming voice within.

Today may I speak and listen to myself with respect and joy.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Gardening is an exercise in optimism. Sometimes, it is the triumph of hope over experience.

~ Marina Schinz ~

Look at a garden that is flourishing, and what you will see is exquisite beauty. It is a marvelous outcome of a gardener’s labor of love. But what you do not see is all that went into the creation of the garden. You do not see the aching knees and back, the dirty fingernails, or the soiled clothing. You do not see the constant weeding, in-sect control, and soil enrichment.

What drives the gardener to work so hard at some-thing that may only be for the benefit of a few? For some, it builds closeness to God. For others, it is a visual oasis as well as a useful one that sustains bees, birds, and other living things. A garden can provide a sense of purpose and accomplishment, or satisfy a desire to nurture another living thing. But, mostly, gardeners garden because each new season holds promise. As Marina Schinz says, “This hope for the future is at the heart of all gardening.” Recovery is a similar garden of hope. Each day holds promise and a hope for a better future. To grow as one means to grow together.

Recovery is the garden in which I grow and flourish. It provides me with hope and promise for a better future.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that k the lamp of experience.

~ Patrick Henry ~

Think what it would be like to walk through the woods at night without a flashlight. We would be at the mercy of every root, stump, tangle, rock, and hole. Though we may have walked the same way in daylight, without the guidance of light it is as if we are walking the path for the first time.

Experience teaches us to use tools when necessary. If something didn’t work for us once, it is up to us to keep trying until we find something that will work. Why stumble in the dark agony of fear, sadness, doubt, anxiety, and insecurity? We have many flashlights to light our paths. They are the slogans, such as Let Go and Let God, First Things First, and Easy Does It. Our experiences and those of others tell us the program works. We can choose to stumble in the dark or walk easily with the light of the program.

Although I may be feeling low tonight, I can trust in the experience that tells me to let go, for all is well.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Waiting for answers

We are full of questions and we want answers, answers that just aren’t available to us yet. Our Higher Power will give us the real answers when we can handle them, not be-fore. If we manufacture our own answers, our self-will will only create more questions.

Wishes and answers are granted and guided by our Higher Power—provided we keep close enough to be ready for them.

Am I willing to wait for the true answers?

Higher Power, help me to accept my questions and to wait for the true answers.

Today I will prepare myself for answers to my problems by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

All experience is an arch, to build upon.

~ HENRY ADAMS ~

Newcomer

I don’t know exactly what I expected from recovery, but I guess I wanted more. Somehow, I thought I’d be happier.

Sponsor

I identify with your disappointment. When I was a couple of months sober, I could see that recovery had given me back my life, but I wasn’t very happy with it yet. I no longer used addictive substances or behaviors to keep me from facing reality, but reality wasn’t especially pleasant or easy. I’d neglected work, financial, and family problems. I lacked experience and skill at maintaining healthy human relation-ships. I didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror.

It was easy for me to turn around and blame the pro-gram of recovery for my dissatisfaction with myself and my circumstances. Over time, I’d come to depend on particular substances to “fix” my feelings instantly, and now I wanted a similar “quick fix” from the program. I didn’t have much experience with gradual processes, so I didn’t understand that real change—deep change—takes place over time.

Consistent, daily efforts to maintain our recovery eventually reveal more to us about who we are and what being alive offers. Though you may not feel happy all the time, happiness will be something you’ll feel more deeply and steadily than in your “active” days. When we stay with recovery, we find in time that no matter what we’re facing in the present moment, we’re grateful to be free of addiction.

Today, I celebrate the miracle that I'm alive. I keep returning to this program as a source of sober living, confident that in time its promises will be fulfilled for me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

To follow the letter of the law is not enough. You can be moral without difficulty in “solitary.”

Do not let your morality be simply restraining and abstaining. Be constructive in your goodness. Be good for something.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

OUR POSSESSIONS

Father of Light, teach us to value our possessions in the right way.
Help us never to think more of them than of people.
Make us ready to use them freely for the good of others.
And to share them generously without complaining.
Thank you for the beautiful things we enjoy possessing.
May our enjoyment be wholesome and right and may we hold to all we own.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUALITY

Read Matthew 6:25−35.

Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field . . . shall he not much more clothe you. O ye of little faith? (Matthew 6:30).

Of course, Jesus did not mean that you as a human being are to copy the lives or the methods of birds or flowers literally, for you are infinitely higher in the scale of creation than they are. The lesson is that you are to adapt yourself as completely to your element as they do to theirs. Your true element is the Presence of God. When man accepts the Truth that in God he lives and moves and has his being, as completely and unquestionably as the birds and the flowers accept the truth of their condition, he will demonstrate as easily and as thoroughly as they do.

One hears occasionally of curious cases of people who claim to be so spiritual that they do not feel called upon to earn their own living. Someone else who is not too spiritual to go to work, is expected to keep them. But this attitude of mind speaks for itself. If your understanding is sufficient to enable you to dispense with ordinary work, you will find yourself automatically supplied in an independent and self-respecting manner−with a good living. This cannot possibly apply to people who are in debt or sponging upon others. If you really wish to try the experiment of “stepping out” upon the power of the Word, be sure that your so doing is authentic. The only way to make this experiment in a genuine manner is to let it be “demonstrate or starve.” If you are secretly looking to someone else to come to the rescue, you are not really depending upon the Word.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Find the Miracle

While there is a chance of the world getting through its troubles, I hold that a reasonable man has to behave as if he were sure of it.

~ H.G. Wells ~

On a journey through a jungle, a king accidentally cut off his toe while chopping a coconut. "That's wonderful," exclaimed his advisor. "There is a blessing here." The king, angered at the advisor's flippancy, threw him in a pit and left him there.

The next day, the king was apprehended by a band of headhunters who decided he would make a good sacrifice. When the tribal priest noticed that his toe was missing, the headhunters released him as an imperfect specimen. Suddenly, the king realized that the advisor was correct, and he returned to the pit and apologized profusely.

"No apology necessary," said the advisor. "It was a blessing that you threw me in this hole."

"How is that?" asked the king, incredulous.

"Because if I was with you, the headhunters would have taken me for
the sacrifice!"

Imagine that everything that happens to you is assigned by divine order. If you look for miracles, you will find them.

Help me see the good in everything.

I am in the presence of love, taken care of at all times in all ways.

[caressa222]

May 28

Step by Step

Today, my character defects in my Fourth and the amends in my Eighth steps are not confined to wrongs of commission but also to my wrongs of omission. With that, my Fourth and Eighth steps, hopefully, will be more honest. My moral inventory and amends I have tried before have focused on things I have done or said, but they have not included my wrongs done by not saying or doing what I should have. Maybe I neglected or refused to return love or support that someone showed me in my darkest days, or maybe I didn't answer someone's call for help. Today, I return to my Fourth and Eighth steps to decide if I owe restitution not for what I did, but for what I didn't do. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HONESTY

I hope I shall follow firmness of virtue enough to maintain that I consider the most enviable of all titles−the character of an honest man.

~ George Washington ~

Happiness in recovery and in society depends on our honesty. We create pain for others, and ourselves, when we are dishonest. True honesty begins within each of us and flows out to touch those around us. If we are to be true to society, and to ourselves, we cannot feel one thing in our hearts and outwardly speak different views.

There is no such thing as too much honesty. When we practice honesty in all our affairs, we discover that the reason for being honest is not because it is expected of us, but because we find that honesty avoids problems and makes our life happier.

When I am honest with myself and others, I am making progress towards greatness of character.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness, with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells Wakan-Tanka, and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us.

~ Black Elk ~

When we understand power and powerlessness, we begin to find inner peace. We have often felt alone, isolated from others and from the world. Now we are learning about relationships and our connection to all things. Our biggest mistake was a childish notion that power and control are up to the individual. We didn’t trust or even know about relationships and the forces of the universe.

We are actually part of an awesome universe and we have a place in it. When we develop our relationships and understand our oneness with all others and the forces at work, we understand that we are never alone. We only participate in this big picture.

Today I live as a relative to all people and the whole world.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I guess I’m ready, or I never would have started down this rocky road.

~ Jill Clark ~

Our past has prepared us for where we are today. Our fears often prevent us from believing this, but it’s true nevertheless. As we gain trust in this program and in the truths outlined in the Steps, we’ll come to believe that we are exactly where we need to be. And we’ll know that we are in caring hands.

When fear of others or of the unknown over-whelms us, we have neglected to let the guiding principles of this program protect us. We don’t ever have to feel afraid or unprepared again. We can share the experiences we learn from with another woman so she can grow too.

The rocks in any road are the gifts that push us to fuller development. Without them, we’d never become who our Higher Power has planned for us to be. Let’s practice gratitude today.

I am ready for God’s guidance today. The difficult moments may be my most important lessons. I will have faith.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am becoming more honest

Rejection hurts and I’ve had enough of it. I want people to like me. I don’t want to feel alone. The problem is that if somebody is mad at me, I may apologize even though I’ve done little or nothing wrong. Or I may say yes to someone just because I’m afraid to say no. Both situations cause me shame and anger when I think about them.

Through therapy and my program, however, I am coming to see how important it is to be honest. Basically, I need to say what I am feeling, to be straightforward. And I am discovering that people accept me, for instance, even when I disagree with them, even when I tell them no. In fact, some people not only accept me, they come to respect me. Honesty works.

I can enlist support when I am afraid to speak my mind.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The price of wisdom is above rubies.

~ Job 28:18 ~

We’ve all been to meetings where we pick up a nugget of wisdom that helps a great deal. It’s often something we’ve heard before but never thought of in quite that way. A nugget could come from someone whose story we’ve heard hundreds of times, or from a newcomer. There’s no telling.

It can be especially helpful to keep these nuggets in a special part of a journal. Take the slogans, “One Day at a Time,” “Keep It Simple,” and “Easy Does It.” These offer particular insights that we keep coming back to. We can add others to that list and collect them. We can go back over the list when we need to, or when we’re asked for some help. It feels especially good to pass them on at other meetings we may attend. Each time we do this we remind ourselves of their wisdom, and we often find a new insight into our own recovery. These slogans, and our Higher Power, can help us keep changing and learning.

Today let me be open to learning and hearing things in a way I hadn’t thought of before.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

It made me gladsome to be getting some education, it being like a big window opening.

~ Mary Webb ~

The learning that comes from school or college can im-part great knowledge. With such knowledge comes the ability to read and write and to add and subtract. Such knowledge can teach someone skills to work in a trade or to save lives.

While having a diploma or certificate can provide you with a big salary, a nice office, or a fancy car, having an education does not necessarily mean that you have the ability to make appropriate decisions or that you will live without sin and with good moral character. Education is not an end to itself. It is like learning to drive a car. You can study the rules of the road, familiarize yourself with a vehicle, and pass a written test. But when you actually get behind the wheel and drive, you learn so much more about how to be a better driver.

The program provides you with the knowledge you need to learn more about your addiction. But it is not until you engage in abstinence and employ the Steps of the program that you can more fully understand what it is you need to do to live your life without your habit.

The recovery program is my school. I will attend to my studies each day so I can effectively apply what I learn.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Everything that is in agreement with our personal desires seems true. Everything that is not puts us into a rage.

~ Andre Maurois ~

There was a woman who prided herself on her ability to achieve. In fact, she bought a button that read: I want it all−I want the best−and I want it now!" Most of the time she got what she wanted, and that made her very happy. But when she didn't get what she wanted, she would throw temper tantrums. We may be like that woman. It may be difficult to accept less than we desire. Not getting our way may be cause for battle, and we may not give up our fight until we do get our way.

If everyone acted this way, what would the world be like? Not everyone can be a "taker," receiving all the time. And not everyone can be a “giver," giving all the time. Giving once doesn't mean we always have to give, just as receiving once doesn't mean we'll always receive. We need to keep in mind that there is a balance. To achieve that balance, we need to learn we cannot have everything we want. And that's okay.

Do I fly into a rage when I don't get my own way? Help me learn how to receive, as well as how to give.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being honest

After we’ve been in the program for a while, we may not be as honest with ourselves as we were at first. It’s not easy to stay vigilant. Keep taking our inventory, and look for defects that may have cropped up.

It helps to ask our Higher Power for insight so we can see all our defects. We need honesty to stay clean and sober.

Am I staying honest with myself?

Higher Power, help me to fear my faults less; help me to be honest with myself.

I will work on being honest with myself today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.

~ RAY BRADBURY ~

Newcomer

At a meeting, someone asked me how I was, and I started crying. I don’t know what was the matter with me. I couldn’t help it—the tears kept coming. The person I was talking to said, “You’re so lucky you aren’t embarrassed to cry; I wish I could do that.” Later, I found myself laughing.

Sponsor

It’s not surprising that laughter followed your tears. One of the best ways to heal the grief we’re holding inside is to weep. There’s no virtue in controlling our tears, as some people have mistakenly thought. Tears are not a sign of weakness, and recovery is not about learning to be stoics. We’re meant to cry. Scientists have found that our tears contain toxic substances: when we weep, we are literally cleansing our bodies of poisons.

If you think you can’t cry, don’t worry. Tears of healing can’t be forced; they well up when they’re ready to flow. One thing is for sure: if you keep showing up for recovery, you will change. Feelings flow through us with greater ease as we keep surrendering to the process of recovery.

Today, my tears and laughter restore my health

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Love is as necessary to a human being as sunshine is to a plant. Without it the soul of man withers, shrivels and dies. Fortunate is the man who has love given to him but even more fortunate is he who earns it. The only way to earn love is to love. Thou shalt love thy God with all thy heart and thy neighbour as thyself.

He who hoards love shall lose it, but he who scatters love about him as he moves through life finds that it takes root and surrounds him on every side.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

SERENE DAYS

God of the seas, to You I pray:
Bless unto me these serene days.

From these wide seas give unto me
A larger heart of charity.

May these strong tides wash out my mind
From all that’s bitter and unkind.

With the broad beat of seabird’s wings
Lift up my soul to heavenly things.

By the far sight of hills untrod
Call me to undared ventures, God.

Grant that these serene days may be
Your holy days indeed to me.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

NOW IS YOUR TIME

Take therefore no thought for the morrow for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof (Matthew 6:34)

Always remember that the only thought that you need to concern yourself with is the present time. The thoughts of yesterday or of last year do not matter now, because if you can get the present thought right it will make everything else right here and now. The best way to prepare for tomorrow is to make today’s consciousness serene and harmonious.

Never go delving in your mind to look for troubles to pray about. Deal faithfully with those that bring themselves to your attention, and hidden things will be taken care of.

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Leap of Faith

Only those who dare to go too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

~ T.S. Eliot ~

In one of the popular Indiana Jones movies, Indy (played by Harrison Ford) surmounts a long series of harrowing challenges to arrive at the temple where the chalice of Christ is kept. Our hero stands before a vast bottomless chasm, wondering how he will get across. Then he remembers the instruction he was given to help him at this point: Faith. Indy grits his teeth and steps off the ledge onto nothingness. Then a miracle occurs: a bridge appears beneath his foot, enabling him to reach the grail and save his father's life.

The only way we grow is by taking leaps of faith. Such a leap means that we are willing to step into the abyss without any obvious security or guarantee of success. ("If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.") Even the simple act of walking requires us to be out of balance. When you shift your weight from one foot to another, there is a tiny in-between moment when you are not secure on the old footing or the new.

Bless insecurity as an opportunity to be supported by a higher power. It is only when we have exhausted our resources that God can prove his mighty presence.

I step ahead knowing that You are here for me. I trust Your arms to comfort me when nothing in the world can.

God is my strength in every need.

[caressa222]

May 29

Step by Step

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." - Step Two
Today, whether a newcomer or veteran of the program, if the term Higher Power discourages me because my faith has been ravaged by alcohol or a less than serene sobriety, let me re-read and understand the literal interpretation of Step Two. We are not asked to believe but come to believe in the possibility of a higher power. If I shrug off that possibility, I need only look to why I came to AA. And in doing that, I also reached for the possibility that some help I needed desperately exists. But if I cannot yet grasp the concept of a higher power, let me believe that Step Two is telling me that coming to believe in and accepting a higher power is a dynamic process, one that requires ongoing change. Just as I did not become sober after my last drink and weeks, months or longer to go from being dry to being sober, so it goes with developing an understanding of the principles of the Twelve Steps. Today, I will not give up if I do not believe in that higher power and instead will proceed with the promise of Step Two that I will one day find it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

BEING ALONE

ON THE BEAM: Getting on with the business of living by using the Program.

~ Anonymous ~

Most of the joys of living come during times of sharing with others. But we would miss a lot if we didn’t make time in which to be entirely alone with our thoughts and take inventory of ourselves.

Preparing for the next day by examining the one we’ve just finished gives us a head start on tomorrow. Both activities are done when we are alone.

Alone and silent in thought, we need to examine how well we have used the day. Only then are we able to tackle the first hours of a new day.

By examining my day as it ends, I can weigh the wins and the losses to strengthen my chances of success with my plans for tomorrow. Then I turn it all over to my Higher Power.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The kid doesn't chew tobacco, smoke, drink, curse, or chase broads. I don’t see how he can ever make it.

~ Richie Ashburn, Hall of Fame center fielder ~

We grew up with many misguided messages about what it takes to be a real man. These ideas were fun in some ways but led us down paths of self-defeating behavior. They gave us boyish ideas without pointing the way to genuinely strong and masculine lives. Now we know that a strong man has fun but still holds values such as honesty, kindness, and generosity.

Toughness is a virtue in many situations, but no one is more masculine than the guy with strength of character. A truly strong man lends a hand to others; he reflects daily on his own character and holds himself responsible. And he can be as sensual and playful as the best of them.

Today I am grateful to be walking on the path of a true masculine life.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Some days really are as good as a bowl of cherries. Thank goodness I now know what to do with the pits.

~ Sarah Desmond ~

Our attitude defines who we are and what we do with the tribulations that trip us. When we are confident or relaxed about the events in our lives, they usually unfold smoothly. On the other hand, when we are nervous or controlling, we can count on trouble. We get what we get in this life. What really matters is how we respond to it. Taking control of our attitude is all that’s necessary.

We can’t deny that some experiences are painful, even though they may be important to our growth. We don’t have to like the pain, but the program invites us to incorporate what we learn from it into our lives. We can then share what we learn with others, so they, too, can be helped.

I can take what comes and make a blessing of it, both for me and someone else. We learn and grow by sharing our experience, strength, and hope. Today is an opportunity for me and a friend.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to make a relapse prevention plan

I am not used to making plans−unless it’s planning to stay high or get high again. Often it’s been hard for me to slow down and think things through.

Coming into recovery I have seen that relapse can happen to any of us. I don’t like to think about being back where I was. I don’t want to feel the pain of relapse. So it seems like a good idea to make a relapse prevention plan−a just-in-case plan, a form of insurance. If I should have a slip (á lapse) at some point, it will help me get back on track faster.

I will ask my therapist and sponsor to help me develop a relapse prevention plan.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

How important is it?

~ Anonymous ~

The young man in the meeting was very angry and upset. His lawn mower had broken down. He was having a cookout in his back yard that evening, the yard “looked terrible,” and he’d paid a lot of money for that mower! After he went on for some time, an older woman gently interrupted him and asked, “Was anyone hurt? Was there danger? Would your guests walk out?” And, finally, “Did you lose your sobriety over it?” The young man smiled, as he answered “no” to all the questions. “No, it was not that important after all.”

We all overreact sometimes to situations, people, and events that, later, we see were really not important. The next time we are bothered by someone or something that threatens to ruin our day, we will try to remember to ask ourselves, “How important is it?” If it’s not important, we’ll spend our time and energy on what is important. There is a world of difference.

Today help me to know what is important, to forget what’s not, and ask others for perspective when I’m not sure.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The challenge for a conductor is not to get the orchestra that you ideally want—the challenge is to take the orchestra in front of you and draw from them something which exceeds their own expectations of what they could be.

~ Roger Nierenberg ~

The program of recovery does not give you recovery. Rather, it teaches you how to recover. It does not give you a better life. Rather, it gives you the tools you need so you can improve your life. It offers you a wealth of knowledge and a fellowship that, together, give you the support you need to make it through each day clean and sober.

No matter what you set out to do in life, starting out with a firm idea in mind of what to expect or about how things will go only sets you up for disappointment. It is like deciding to learn the game of golf with the expectation that you will play as well as a professional golfer in six months.

Instead, focus on one desire: to learn by doing. Then, strive to do the best that you can by applying what you have learned. What you may discover is that you have exceeded the expectations you did not have!

Today I will let go of how I expect things will turn out. Instead, I will learn as much as I can.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Lost, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, the golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever.

~ Horace Mann ~

As we reflect on the day, were there moments we wasted? Was there a chunk of time we idled away, perhaps bored or listless? Those moments are gone now. We can never get them back, but we can be more conscious about wasting time tomorrow.

When we were drinking or using, we probably wasted a lot of time in bars, in front of the television, or passed out. We may have argued constantly with our drunken spouses or parents, wasting precious evenings and weekends. Or we may have spent all our time with our family and not any time with friends.

We don't have to waste time. We can give to others, but not to the extent that it infringes upon our time. We can walk away from an argument and venture out on evenings and weekends. We can put away the bottles and the pills and go to meetings and experience life sober and clean. Time we've wasted is gone, but the time to come we can use' We can let every minute count.

I won't waste any more of my life. I will make the most of every minute and resolve not to let precious time slip away.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Sharing in the fellowship

It is said that you can always tell a roomful of recovering addicts because everyone is smoking, drinking coffee, and talking—all at the same time. There is serious truth to this wry glance at the fellowship.

Since the program, its slogans are talked about at length. It’s easy for anyone to learn a lot about recovery. Since people’s everyday problems are talked about all the time, it’s enough for anyone to learn about life. It all works! Our big mouths—mouths that kept us sick for so long—are now flapping to keep us well.

So our sometimes smoke-filled, coffee- filled, talk-filled clubs, meetings, and social gatherings are the basis for a lot more than laughter—they add up to a major part of our recovery.

Am I contributing to the fellowship?

Higher Power, help me see what I can contribute to the social life fellowship of recovery.

Today I will take part in the fellowship by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Don't pick up before the miracle.

~ SAYING HEARD IN MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

I feel miserable so much of the time now. My life is full of obligations I don’t have any stomach for. It seems as if my inner demons are always after me, except for the hour or so a day I spend at a meeting. Sometimes I tell myself that if I picked up my addiction again, I could escape all this.

Sponsor

Thank you for your honesty. Your willingness to share your pain can help to counteract that voice that's telling you you’d be better off going back to your addiction.

We’re dealing in reality without a filter, at the very same time that we’re going through the pain of withdrawal from an addictive substance or behavior. In time, the externals will begin to seem a lot easier. The “demons,” as you call them, are more troubling at first. They grow quieter in time and eventually leave, as we stay sober and learn how to face our problems rather than avoid them.

It’s important to remember that depression, loneliness, and other negative emotions were not put there by our recovery. The old life we sometimes imagine going back to may not be as free and wonderful as we remember it; addiction blurred the feelings and sometimes kept the demons at bay, but only recovery will free us from them for good.

Today, I’m being changed into the person I’ve always wanted to become.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Life has been hard on us but most of it was made hard by ourselves. The hard life, however, taught us much; it strengthened our muscles; it broadened our experiences. We are better men because of it. We have known much of hunger, pain, defeat, mental anguish, despair and shame. Only the good survived this ordeal and we can alleviate the sufferings of the world all the better because we have suffered also.

God was not punishing us . . . He was conditioning us.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

DWELL IN MY HEART

O God, dwell in my heart,
Open it out, purify it, make it bright and beautiful,
Awaken it, prepare it, make it fearless,
Make it a blessing to others,
Rid it of laziness, free it from doubt,
Unite it with all, destroy its bondage,
Let Your peaceful music pervade all its works.
Make my heart useful to You and others.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HOW MUCH FAITH IS NECESSARY?

Have faith in your own faith. Have faith enough in yourself to believe that you really have enough faith to move mountains. Is this a strange idea? Probably it is for many people, yet Jesus taught it.

People are constantly saying that they wish they had more faith because if they had they could get better results. You have to realize, however, that this attitude of mind is extremely negative. It is affirming, although indirectly, that your faith is very poor−and you know what that means.

Jesus said that the very smallest amount of faith (like a grain of mustard seed) is sufficient. If you have faith enough to pray at all, you have enough faith to start with. If you had no faith, you would not be praying.

Have faith in your own faith, and that in itself will build it up more and more until the work is done.

. . . be not faithless, but believing (John 20:27)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Blessed Interruptions

Life is what happens while you are making other plans.

~ John Lennon ~

The film The Accidental Tourist tells of an emotionally wounded man who shuts down his heart after losing a child. Although he is a renowned author, Macon Leary (played by William Hurt) is lonely and aching for love, He meets a kooky young woman (Geena Davis) who, with her son, invites him to come back to life. At first he resists, but then he recognizes that she is not a threat, but his salvation.

"I used to get annoyed when someone pulled me off my track," a friend told me, "but then I discovered that the best parts of my day are the interruptions."

Thank God when you are interrupted from your plan. If something comes up that is unavoidable, ask to find the gift in it. Consider the possibility that this person or event has been sent to serve and bless you in some way. Perhaps you are being asked to open your heart more, make a stand for something you believe in, or take a new direction that will ultimately be more meaningful than the one you were headed in. There are no accidents-only opportunities to dance in a bigger universe.

Help me be open to opportunities to know myself better. Let me recognize that everyone who comes to me is a teacher, and empower me to do the things that love would have me do.

I allow God's plan to substitute for mine. I find the jewel in every encounter, relationship and experience.

[majestyjo]

May 30

Step by Step

"The old pattern reasserted itself, but it was no longer once every six months. The intervals grew shorter. The binges were longer. They were harder to get off. I wasn't the type that could taper off. I had to stop cold. My last binge followed the previous one by two weeks. I had just come off a good one, and I went back on to the next one." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Lost Nearly All," Ch 3 ("Desperation Drinking"), p 514.
Today, guard against the passage of time and my last drunk from fading the memory of what my drinking days were really like - pure desperation. If it is true that the best predictor of my future is my past conduct, I cannot afford to "romanticize" my drinking, that it was "fun" and that it didn't rip a path of destruction through myself and others. God grant me the honesty and wisdom to remember the desperation that finally pushed me to seek help after I exhausted all the denial, justifications and rationalizations. Let me understand and accept that desperation is all that awaits me again if I am not honest with myself in remembering what active alcoholism is truly like. Today, the desperation that is always there to greet me again can wait. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EASY DOES IT

It isn’t the load that weighs us down, it’s the way we carry it.

~ Anonymous ~

There is a saying in the entertainment world that it takes most performers at least twenty years to become overnight successes. Many a person who is impatient to set the world on fire could be served best by a discussion on “Easy Does It: and “One Step At A Time.” Rome, they say, wasn’t built in a day. Nor is character growth.

When we try to climb ladders several steps at a time, we invite accidents. But the advice “slow but sure” doesn’t mean not making the effort. Progress is always more lasting when made with caution. We solve problems as they arise, rather than trying to move around them.

I risk losing serenity if I let impatience force me into trying to do too much in too short a time.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.

~ Babe Ruth ~

Fear is a normal emotion that many of us have to face. Some call it one of their character defects. We may have been more ruled by it than we admitted to ourselves. We allowed fear to be our guide when higher purposes told us we should make other choices. Because we honored our fears, we took refuge in controlling others, or in the fleeting ecstasies of our addictions. But that trap doesn’t have to keep its grip on us. The best cure for fear is to confront it again and again. Fear of heights goes away when we repeatedly face high places.

Fear is just another emotion; it doesn’t have to rule our choices. The best way to handle fear is to acknowledge the feeling and then put it in our back pocket while we move forward and do what we need to do. We also have the reassurance that we need not face anything alone. Our Higher Power is always with us. We focus on doing our best and turn the outcome over to the care of God as we understand God.

Today I will acknowledge my fears, pay attention to them, and then follow the guidance of my higher purposes.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

You don’t have to seek God in church. I find God within my heart.

~ Sandra Lamberson ~

Perhaps the most enlightening detail we learn in Twelve Step recovery is that God takes any form that suits us. It’s not unusual to hear women speak of the Goddess who directs their activities. Others seek their Spirit in nature. Many of us still imagine the God of our childhood, the man in flowing robes with outstretched arms. Creating the image we want and a relationship that will sustain us is an amazing gift we receive from being sober.

Our sponsors say it’s very important to find a God of our understanding. It’s not unusual to enter the Twelve Step program with anger toward God, but we will be more productive if we develop a reliance on some Power outside of ourselves. The best thing to do is experiment with this new partnership. When you are faced with a situation you feel unprepared for, ask the God of your understanding for help. The results will amaze even the most cynical.

I will bring along my Companion today. Together we can handle whatever comes.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can manage intense feelings

It seems that my drug masked a lot of my feelings. And now that I’ve been clean and sober for a few weeks, I’m flooded with emotions: guilt, shame, fear, anger, self-pity, and more. At times I can’t think straight. (At times I can’t think.) Everything seems to be coming at me at once.

When I called my sponsor, he agreed that this isn’t an easy time and he reassured me that my experience is normal for early recovery. While easier said than done, he thought it might help to practice allowing the feelings to pass through, without fighting them too hard. But most important, he reminded me that I am sane and sober and getting better. At that very point, I felt better. I am grateful for my sponsor and I am learning to trust him.

I will practice a regular exercise routine and check in regularly with my sponsor.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is.

~ Erasmus ~

As children, we often played at what we wanted to be when we grew up. As adults, when we try to be something or someone we’re not, there isn’t the same opportunity to play-act and return to our “old” self as we did when we were children.

As adults, we find that our recovery progresses when we begin to be content with who we are. This means accepting our flaws as well as our strengths. It may also mean letting go of some dreams we had as children and accepting the fact that it’s okay not to be the company president or the basketball star. It doesn’t mean we’ve failed if we aren’t perfect or haven’t become superstars. Happiness and serenity come from loving ourselves as we are, rather than wishing we were someone else.

Today help me recognize that I am a spiritual being, and I don’t need to be anything, or everything, I’m not.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn’t know how to play them when I was drunk.

~ Richard Burton ~

Would you board an airplane if you knew the pilot had just knocked back a few in the airport bar? Would you consent to surgery if you smelled liquor on the breath of your surgeon? Would you write a check for a down payment on remodeling work to a contractor who reeked of marijuana?

When you were using, you may have believed that a pill or booze or some other substance enhanced your skills—you were stronger, smarter, funnier. But now you know that these things were far from the truth. Being inebriated or high may have made you the life of the party, but it also probably made you the butt of jokes, destroyed your career, ruined your marriage, or put your life or the lives of others in jeopardy.

Today you can draw your strength, intelligence, humor, and other positive elements from a new habit: recovery. Even though you may feel confused or weak at times, those are not the symptoms of a bad habit. Those are the experiences of someone who is engaging on a journey of self-discovery. Your life is much more manageable now because you are in control, not your habit.

I live my life today with the new habit of being clean and sober.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The first step in solving a problem is to tell someone about it.

~ John Peter Flynn ~

Many times we may believe we should keep our problems to ourselves. Why should we worry others? Or perhaps we don't believe we'll get help and support, only pity and sympathy. Maybe we don't want others to know we have problems.

Everybody has problems, even the people who seem to be all smiles and good cheer. Yet nobody solves problems alone. Many call upon their Higher Power or a close friend. Others use their sponsor or counselor. Some use meetings. All of these people who share their problems will find a solution. It's when we don't use any other sources that our problems become too difficult to handle.

Every problem has a solution, but that answer may not lie within our grasp. When we ask for answers, we are admitting we can't find the answers ourselves. That is the First Step to the program and the first step to living sanely and sensibly. A shared problem is always a solved problem.

I can share my problems with my Higher power tonight. I can ask for help and thereby find a solution.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Paying attention

Planning our own speech during a discussion meeting makes it hard to listen. Recovery requires silence and attention.

Sometime, somewhere, something we’ve heard in a meeting may come to mind just when we need it. But if we sit at meetings en-grossed in our own thoughts, we can’t learn the suggestions we may need to help us in times of danger.

Do I pay close attention at meetings?

Higher Power, help me to open my ears and close my mouth just a little more today.

I will practice staying focused today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I wish you a slow recovery.

~ SAYING HEARD IN MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

I feel as if I should be doing better than this by now.

Sponsor

I can identify with your belief that you should be doing better faster. I sometimes feel that about the pace of my own recovery as if we recovering people are in some sort of race with time.
As active addicts, we had little experience with any long process. We believed in instant results, like the ones we were used to getting from our addictive substance or behavior. So we may not be qualified to judge what our rate of progress should be.

One antidote to my impatience is hearing about myself from people who saw me at meetings in the early days of my recovery. Paradoxically, I feel reassured when they laugh and make statements like, “I remember what you were like: you were bouncing off the walls!” Their perspective reminds me that I’ve come a distance on my journey.

What can best further your journey is leaving the timetable for recovery in your Higher Power’s hands as you focus your whole being—all of your attention—on this present moment.

Today, I don't measure myself. I trust that I'm everything I should be in this moment.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We are all familiar with that class of people who have a drinking problem; they know they have it and they know they can do nothing about it themselves. They also know that we had a similar problem and that we did something about it; their own eyes bear testimony to that effect−yet they refuse to take the message we bring them. They have ears yet they will not hear. It is not our purpose to sell them a bill of goods. Our message is only for those who want it. They aren’t ready yet, so conserve your efforts for those who are hungry for what we have to give.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

FOR FAMILIES TORN BY ADDICTION

We pray, O God of hope,
For all families
Whose lives are torn and disrupted
By addiction.
Enable them to identify the illness.
Strengthen them to seek help.
Bless them with the power of Your love,
Which imparts transformation and wholeness
To those who trust in Your name.
Grant that as they walk this tortured road,
They may journey together
And bind close in the bond of love.
Amen.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

ROUGH ROAD

Everyone on the spiritual path has found that it happens occasionally in the early years−and not often then−that he suddenly finds himself almost or quite unable to pray. Often it seems that he cannot get any sense of contact with God. This naturally depresses him and sometimes leads to greater fear and almost to despair.

Now, these severe reactions are not necessary, once you know that everyone goes through them.

This trouble is caused by overdoing. You have been praying too long or too hard, or you have been giving too much time to spiritual work exclusively, instead of having other interests in your life too. It is really a condition of staleness and psychological congestion. The medieval mystics called these times “seasons of dryness” and suffered severely because they believed them to be sinful.

The remedy is not to struggle, but to know that this dryness will surely pass, and your spiritual joy return. If you cannot pray, do not try, but think, “God is so good that I need not pray; he will take care of me anyway,” (Of course, this itself is a wonderful prayer.) On a long motor tour, it sometimes happens that you come upon a piece of rough, bad road. For hundreds of miles the going has been perfect, but now you are shaken and bumped badly, but you do not worry, because you know for certain that it will only last for a few miles. Indeed, there is probably a notice saying “Pavement ahead.”

. . . weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning (Psalm 30:5).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Tell Me Before I Forget

You will remember everything the instant you desire it wholly.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

The parents of a four-year-old boy arrived home with his new baby brother. Soon the elder child began to pester his parents to leave him alone with the infant. Fearing that the four-year-old might hurt the baby, they refused. Finally, after the boy persisted, the parents consented. As a safeguard, they turned on the intercom to monitor the boy's visit. Listening from the kitchen, they heard the older brother approach the crib, lean over, and ask the baby, "Tell me about God-I'm beginning to forget."

We have all forgotten about God, and we are starting to remember. We love children because they still bear the innocent light of heaven, and they have not yet been sullied by the pain and small thinking of the world. They are our connection to the divine.

The light that children shine still lives within us. It has not been lost, just covered over. The spiritual path is not one of attainment, but return. We are returning to our innate wisdom that the beauty we seek shines in us, through us, as us.

Help me remember my divine origin. Let me rediscover the innocence within me and all of life.

I am innocent. I am free. The God I seek lives within me.

[caressa222]

May 31

Step by Step

"...(D)eep down in every man, woman and child is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("We Agnostics"), p 55.
Today, if I expect AA to work for me, I must work with it, and I must knock down the wall that separates me from a power stronger than myself to begin my recovery. If I am struggling or even rejecting the possibility of such a power, let me read and embrace these words and accept on blind faith the hope that somewhere inside me is a "fundamental idea of God." He, God, need not be a religious entity but a spiritual one, and a "spiritual awakening," even if it is a basic change in my psyche or character, is required if I am to achieve any kind of quality sobriety. Today, I must put aside any resistance and open myself to the idea of a power stronger than myself so that I can earn the benefits of recovery. If alcohol is stronger than me, I have to believe that a force stronger than alcohol can restore me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

BACKING OFF

MISTAKES: The more I turn outward to others, the stronger I become within. Mistakes are facts of life. It is my response to them that counts.

~ Anonymous ~

It's brave to believe that nothing is impossible, but such an attitude isn't real. It's impossible to change things we have said and actions we wish we hadn't taken.

We can learn from older and wiser members that we can be happy without winning every battle. The most important battle we must win is to stay clean and sober.

We may have some rude awakenings if we think to fight any other battle than staying abstinent. It's foolhardy not to back away from the impossible just so we can feel "heroic."
Each time we back off from confusion, we buy valuable time to find a better way. There is no disgrace in changing directions when the way we're going is wrong.

When I back off things I can't change, I win.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I have one request: may I never use my reason against truth.

~ Elie Wiesel ~

Honesty with ourselves is a great asset in every situation we confront. The skill to look reality square in the face and call it what it is takes us a good distance toward coping with it. However, many of us also have the skill to spin or rationalize our actions so that we don’t have to face something unpleasant. That skill provides us with excuses and evasions but it is the greatest betrayal of our selves. When we use our brain to cleverly cover the truth of our actions, we often believe our own lies, and then we’re incapable of rectifying them.

Just as dishonesty builds and grows on itself, so does honesty. We cannot one day decide to be honest and change in a flash because we don’t see all of our self-deceit yet. But we can make the decision to be as honest as we know how. Then we will soon be surprised by how much is revealed to us as the fog of our self-deceit lifts and our honesty builds upon itself.

Today I will strive to see reality as it is and not shape it to suit my ego’s desires.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Women, especially, feel caught between our fundamental connectedness and a sense of isolation. The challenge is to be intimate with another and still remain true to ourselves.

~ Sherry Ruth Anderson, Patricia Hopkins ~

Do we respond too quickly to the needs of others? It’s important, of course, to respond respectfully—with love and acceptance—to others’ problems. However, we need to decide what we can comfortably give while remaining true to our own needs. That’s not always easy.

Why is it so hard to feel genuine oneness with others and to feel wholeness as an individual con-currently? A blessing of this recovery path is that we are learning how to do both. It takes time, though. And it takes willingness to be quiet and listen to our inner voice when the call comes to be there for someone else.

It’s good that we desire intimacy; it’s also good that we want some time away from the crowd. Including both, in a balanced way, is a special gift of this journey we make.

I will listen to my own needs along with those voiced by my friends today. God can help me decide how to respond.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to stay in touch with people

I’m not behaving the way I really want to these days. It's like when I used to get high regularly and then act out. I feel like I’m making the same mistakes. I keep making people mad at me. Sometimes I think it would be better if I didn't see anyone or even talk to anyone.

But that's not what I hear in my support group. They say that if I talk about my behavior and my feelings, if I let out some of the hurt, I will feel better. It's when I keep the feelings inside that I start to spiral down. To be open or ask for help right now is hard for me, yet it looks like that’s what I need to do for my recovery.

I will be sure to get in touch, and stay in touch, with my counsellor, sponsor , or a trusted friend.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Love truth, but pardon error.

~ Voltaire ~

Often, we don’t like to admit it when we are wrong, even though simple logic tells us no one can be right all the time. And much of what we often argue about as right or wrong has nothing to do with right and wrong. Is it right or wrong to wear a red dress rather than a blue one? Or to take the bus rather than the train to work?

Life is too short to always try to be right, or to put everything into the category of right or wrong. We save ourselves a lot of grief and pain when we are able to admit we made a mistake, and avoid using the labels “right” and “wrong” when they just don’t apply to the situation. We find great freedom in letting most things just be what they are, without a judgment from us. And we learn to love ourselves and those around us the same way.

Today help me to admit when I am wrong, and not gloat when I am right. May I not see everything in terms of right or wrong. May I avoid being self-righteous.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself.

~ Ludwig Wittgenstein ~

Look in the mirror and stare at yourself. Think about what you see. Refrain from any desire to wish for some-thing to be different. See yourself for how you look at this particular moment.

The same critical eye with which you see what you really look like is the same view you need to take in your work on Step Five. After having completed a searching and fearless moral inventory in Step Four, you are now ready to admit to God, to yourself, and to another human being what you have found.

It is one thing to confess such things to your Higher Power and to personally accept responsibility. It is entirely another to admit such things to someone else. That is why it is important to choose this person wisely. While you may be tempted to talk to someone whom you have harmed, that is better saved for Step Eight. Instead, work on Step Five with your sponsor. The foundation of trust and honesty in this relationship will provide you with a safe space in which to admit your wrongs.

Today I will work on Step Five with my sponsor. If I have already done so, I will reflect upon what I have done in the past to see if there is anything I have left out.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The voice of intelligence is soft and weak. It is drowned out by the roar of fear. It is ignored by the voice of desire. It is contradicted by the voice of shame. It is hissed away by hate and extinguished by anger. Most of all, it is silenced by ignorance.

~ Karl Menninger ~

The story of Sybil tells of a woman who sheltered sixteen personalities within her. Her confusion and fear about the many voices made it almost impossible to make decisions and to be herself. Instead of being one person she was sixteen, until she got help.

Many times we may feel like Sybil. Inside, many voices try to tell us what to do, contradict us, knock us down, or make us cringe in fear. Yet we don t have to listen to those voices. We only need listen to the one that is guided by our Higher Power. That voice tells us we're good, we're doing good things for ourselves, and the program gives us all we need to get better. This voice can become louder and more powerful in time, gradually drowning out the other voices we've let run our lives.

Tonight I'll tune in the best voice−the one of my Higher Power. I'll turn my will over to the voice and let it guide me.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Living today well

Our Higher Power’s will for us is always better than our own, but we cannot see this truth unless we let go enough to venture into the new areas to which we are being led. To experience growth, we must let go of old ideas. (Our old ideas fit only our drug world.)

Each day, well lived, moves us closer to what we are seeking. We must become more giving and more willing to use what we have today.

Am I living today well?

Higher Power, help me accept your will for me today.

I will live today well by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

There is a way to look at the past. Don’t hide from it. It will not catch you if you don’t repeat it.

~ PEARL BAILEY ~

Newcomer

The speaker at a meeting I attended talked about his last days of active addiction. He had no friends, no possessions. He lived in a kind of extreme degradation, isolation, and poverty that I haven’t experienced. If one person hadn’t helped him, he’d never have made it to recovery. For some reason, he reached me on a deeper level than other speakers with whom I have much more in common.

Sponsor

Perhaps your story has more in common with extreme, rock-bottom misery than you know.

In early recovery, I accepted my need for a program of recovery, but thought there were many who were worse off than I was. It took time and willingness to face my past with excruciating honesty, to grasp the depths of my loneliness and despair at the end of active addiction.

A house, a job, a bank account, and even family and friends are no protection from where this disease can take us. Whether we’ve gone all the way downhill or stopped part way down, we sense that we were on a course of self-destruction more isolated and dangerous than we were willing to admit.

Today, I'm grateful for every story of addiction and recovery that I hear; there is something in each of them that illuminates my own path.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

For a person to attempt to live apart from this world is as useless as for a drop of water to live apart from the ocean. God put everything in this world and He takes nothing out. To endeavour to withdrawal from the world’s activities is another way of fooling yourself. We are an influence for good or evil regardless of our attempts to hide from society at large.

When a rock falls from a cliff into the sea, it is not merely that the land is one rock less, it means the contour of the whole continent has changed. However, it is still a part of God’s Universe whether it can be seen by man or not.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

WESLEY P.’s PRAYER

Dear God, please fill me
With your loving spirit, and
Let it flow through me
Into the lives of others.
Amen

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE FOURTH MAN

When Nebuchadnezzar sent out his decree that everyone in his kingdom should bow down and worship the golden image that he had erected, there were three men who refused to obey. These were Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, Hebrew officials in the province of Babylon.

Nebuchadnezzar called them before him, and they bluntly told the King that their God would deliver them from the fiery furnace to which they would be consigned, but even if God did not deliver them, they would still serve Him and Him alone.

Nebuchadnezzar had the three men thrust into the fiery furnace, and the heat was so intense that it slew the guards who threw them in. Then, as he looked in upon the three faithful Hebrews, Nebuchadnezzar was astonished to find a fourth man walking in the flames with the other three. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego walked out of the fiery furnace without a blemish or scar.

So it is when we hold steadfastly to God, and give all power to Him. He sends his messenger to deliver us from our furnace of fear and frustration. Then do we know that nothing shall by any means harm us.

Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, who hath sent his Angel, and delivered his servamts that trusted in him . . . (Daniel 3:28).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Grossing the Line

The obligation of the comedian is to find where the line is drawn, deliberately cross it, and make the audience glad you took them with you.

~ George Carlin ~

In the film Meetings with Remarkable Men, young George Gurdjieff comes upon a Russian country village where some children are playing a cruel trick on one of their peers. Gurdjieff finds a young schoolboy trapped inside a chalk circle drawn by the other children. Under the superstitious belief that anyone caught inside such a circle is trapped by the devil's power, the boy cannot escape, and he is terrified. With compassion, Gurdjieff rubs out a portion of the circle, and the boy flees.

Many of the beliefs that hold us hostage are no more real than the chalk circle. When we examine our perceived limits or someone else demonstrates that they are not valid, a portion of our chalk line is rubbed out, and we grow beyond our imprisoning perceptions to gain the freedom we deserve.

What do you believe you cannot do? Are you willing to call to question your sense of limits? Would you rather be right, or free?

Make a list of all the things you would like to do, but believe you cannot. Then examine each of your reasons and consider whether they are real, or simply represent a belief you are holding. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that you are not as constrained as you believed. Look fearlessly and honestly upon your limits, and you will find that you are more powerful than any of your fears.

Show me the way to freedom. Dissolve my limits, that I may live the life you intended.

I am unlimited. I am free. My life is an ever-expanding adventure.

[majestyjo]

June 1

Step by Step

"The spiritual life is not theory. We have to live it. Unless one's family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles, we think we ought not to urge them. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. They will change in time. Our behavior will convince them more than our words." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6, p 83.

Today, if called on to 12th-Step a prospect, I will not hammer the spiritual aspect of recovery if the topic seems to push away rather than draw in the prospect. Should the prospect who is weary of spirituality subsequently embrace the program and find sobriety, the words "(Spiritual awareness) will change in time" will ring true. Paraphrasing the saying that I was born of the Spirit but was taught religion, let me understand that others, like me, also may tie the two together - religion and spirituality - but that the program will lead them to their own understanding of a higher power. Today, if spirituality cannot be discussed with a potential member, let my actions speak louder than my words. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

TURN IT OVER

Freedom is not something that anybody can be given; freedom is something people take and people are as free as they want to be.

~ James Baldwin ~

Problems seem to be made of a thousand little Its: our family, our weight, our self-image, our job, our career, our relationships. These little Its become big Its as we magnify then. Our Its soon become dragons that devour us and chase us from place to place. The Its in our lives are always people, places, and things we cannot control. They are always outside us, and we let them attack us as enemies.

The Fellowship helps us see that usually Its are manifestations of us. Therefore, when It bothers us, It is just us bothering ourselves. When our It strikes out at us, It is us beating up on ourselves. When the Program tells us to turn It over, it quietly suggests that we give It to God. The fight has always been from within. The battle of will is one we always lose.

I always find a safe harbor when I turn It (my will, my problems, and my life) over to the care of my Higher Power.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

No matter what accomplishments you achieve, somebody helps you.

~ Althea Gibson ~

Some of us can get so full of ourselves when we win a race or get a raise that we think we did it all by ourselves. But the question is, what is really so good about the idea of doing it all by ourselves? Isn’t it just as good to achieve something great and give credit to all those who helped us? We live in a community of friends and neighbors; we are all part of a larger system that holds us up. We have teachers and mentors who help us on our way. We have doctors who help us keep our bodies healthy. We have loved ones who support us and give us more meaning in our lives.

During our active addiction, some of us were so invested in the idea of fierce individualism that we devalued anything that required help from others. That was a limited and immature way of seeing things. The paradox is that not until we could accept help could we gain the strength required for a better life.

Today I feel very proud of my accomplishments and very grateful for all the help I had in achieving them.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Basically, I have two choices: either accept people and their behavior at face value, or remove myself from the situation. I cannot change other people, but I can control my behavior.

~ Lisa Keyes ~

Trying to control other people has been a long-term character defect for most of us. Becoming abstinent didn’t take away the seduction of control. Perhaps for some of us becoming abstinent even heightened the seduction. Minds no longer clouded by alcohol or other drugs see with greater clarity many more invitations to control.

At first glance, it seems unfortunate that becoming free of the obsession to use chemicals didn’t also free us of trying to control the people and events in our lives. But had that been the case, we would have relied less on our Higher Power for help to grow and change. And the greatest gift of this recovery program is learning that we have “One who is all powerful” to help us make decisions, to guide us every step of the way.

I will protect my serenity today by letting the people in my life take charge of themselves. If I begin to falter, my Higher Power will help me.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can take a time out

It's late. I'm tired and in a bad mood. I'm paying bills and I'm getting more and more irritated as I open them‒especially the statements from my psychiatrist, therapist, and health plan. I'm ready to fling the pen across the room.

I clench the pen in my fist, clench my teeth, raise my arm‒and stop. Suddenly I realize that I am angry‒and not so much at the bills, but at my dual disorder arid at the mistakes I've made. It's not easy taking responsibility for my actions and making a commitment to recovery. I think what I need to do right now is to take a break and sort through these strong emotions.

Today I will practice the slogan HALT: I will avoid getting too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

There is a Secret One inside us; the planets in all the galaxies pass through His hands like beads.

~ Kabir ~

We’re often amazed by the wonders of nature. It’s hard to feel significant when we think of the vastness of the universe. How can our Higher Power remember each of us with all the planets, stars, and conditions of the world happening at once?

Then we realize we’re putting our own human limitations on our Higher Power. This is also a clever way our ego promotes us to the status of a Higher Power.

We need to let go and let God. We need to remember that we rest in His hands. Our significance is no more or less than anyone else. He is within us and we are within Him. All we need to do is follow His lead, and everything will be as it should. We will trust in His will and practice, “Thy will, not mine, be done.”

Today help me keep things in perspective. It will be refreshing to let my Higher Power manage the world.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

~ Step Six ~

A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weakness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Six.

Step Six Prayer Higher Power, I am ready to learn from your infinite wisdom so that, with your help, I can remove my defects of character. These defects have resulted in considerable discomfort and pain. They have prevented me from moving forward. They have kept me from knowing a better way of living and from becoming a better person.

Higher Power, I have looked deep within me. I have seen my defects. I confess these defects to you. I am ready for your help in removing these defects. I humbly pray for your guidance so I can release these defects and become a better person. I ask for your help so I will always be a seeker of truth and remedy in my life.

Higher Power, I am open to your guidance. I trust in you. Thank you for listening to my prayer.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

As the old man walked the beach at dawn, he noticed a young man ahead of him picking up starfish and flinging them into the sea. Finally catching up with the youth, he asked him why he was doing this. The answer was that the stranded starfish would die if left until the morning sun. "But the beach goes on for miles and there are millions of starfish," countered the other. "How can your effort make any difference?" The young man looked at the starfish in his hand and then threw it to safety in the waves. "It makes a difference to this one," he said.

~ Minnesota Literacy Council ~

Our efforts can make a difference. There will be many starfish on the paths we will travel and how we treat them will make a difference in our growth. The best resolution we can make tonight is to pay attention to the starfish we'll see. If we can reach out to all who need us, we will have made a difference to their lives and to ours.

My efforts can make a difference. I can take the first step toward making changes, taking risks, expressing feelings, and letting in the positive feelings of life.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Practicing virtue

Love, justice, honesty, and patience are virtues, are ways to God. But even virtues can become defects if we misuse them. Love misused turns into possessiveness, justice into cold facts, honesty into brutal frankness, patience into irritable silence.

We need to know ourselves to understand what we’re doing and where we’re going. We need to look at ourselves to make sure that we have not misused our virtues and made them destructive. We must make sure we do not become self-righteous.

Do I practice virtue constructively?

Higher Power, help me not be so eager that my virtues turn into defects.

I will practice virtue humbly today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

She who conceals her disease cannot expect to be cured.

~ ETHIOPIAN PROVERB ~

Newcomer

I finally took a formal Fifth Step. I’d been dreading it for a long time. It meant being honest in a way that I never had been before. I thought I wasn’t going to survive the experience with a shred of self-esteem. But I was wrong.

Sponsor

Congratulations on your courage. Self-esteem, as you’ve discovered, won’t come from concealing parts of ourselves we think will cause another person to reject us. When we hide in hope of receiving someone’s approval, we cheat ourselves twice: we lose the freedom of being ourselves, and we discover the emptiness of mere approval.

A formal Fifth Step is a rare opportunity to be entirely ourselves in front of another human being and not suffer ill consequences. There’s no wrong way to do it. In the company of someone whose recovery we respect and trust, we can safely reveal what we may not be ready to share even with a family member or an intimate friend. We won’t be judged.

We may instead be reminded that a complete inventory is not simply a catalog of shortcomings or of things we wish we’d done differently, but of assets as well.

Today, my self-trust allows me to reach out to others.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Each of us has only so many hours to live and we alcoholics have wasted far too many of them in the past.

New men, by the thousands, are crowding our doors, searching for our Message of Hope. Those who are endeavouring to carry the Message are frequently pushed to the limit of their available time for this purpose.

Have you the right to monopolize the time of the Twelve Steppers by indulging yourself in so-called slips?

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

SET ASIDE PRAYER

Lord, today help me set aside everything I think I know about You
Everything I think I know about myself
Everything I think I know about others and
Everything I think I know about my own recovery
For a new experience in myself
A new experience in my fellows and my own recovery.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE MIDDLE WALL OF PARTITION

For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us (Ephesians 2:14).
This is not only one of the most beautiful texts in the Bible, but one of the most important. Consider what it says. First, that God is our peace; next, that not only are we and God one (all spiritual teachers say that) but that it is He who has made us one. We are one because that is the nature of being since He has made us that way. Then the inspired writer uses a figure of speech. He reminds us that when we lost our sense of unity with God, it is exactly as though a wall was built between God and ourselves. When that happens communication is broken and we are no longer one in consciousness, until, of course, the wall is pulled down.

In any difficulty the one important thing is to have the temporary wall of partition pulled down, and to let God do it−for only He can.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Happily Even After

Use no relationship to hold you to the past, but with each one each day be born again.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

On Father's Day, my friend Danielle took her two former husbands out to dinner. "l wanted to honor the two most important men in my life," she told me. "They are the fathers of my children, and we are all related." I respected and honored Danielle for keeping her former mates in her heart and acknowledging the good they had brought into her life.

Most of us are taught that when a relationship is over, both parties go their ways upset; one is the villain and the other is a victim. But what if suffering is optional? What if we can create our partings in any way we choose? What if we don't have to separate in anger and guilt, but go on to enjoy a friendship that lasts a lifetime and beyond?

We can let go of our old models of isolation and separation and replace them with kindness, caring, intimacy, and support. Because we are spiritual beings, it is not what our bodies do that determines the quality of our lives, but the state of our spirit. Although our bodies may go in different directions, we can remain whole and joined in the heart. The end of a marriage or relationship does not mean the end of love. True love spans far beyond the boundaries we have laid over it, and it does not die; it simply goes on gathering force until everyone and everything we look upon is blessed by our appreciation of each other as gifts from God.

I pray to honor the people in my life no matter what the voice of fear tells me. I will give love no matter what.

My relationships reflect the love of God.

[majestyjo]

June 2

Step by Step

"There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don't worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. Some people cannot be seen - we send them an honest letter. And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. But we don't delay if it can be avoided. ...As God's people, we stand on our feet; we don't crawl before anyone." -Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6, p 83.

Today, do not take for granted the weight of Step Nine when considering to whom we must - and can - approach with amends. Some wrongs may never be made right, and there may be no recourse if making an amend only to clear our conscience risks further injury or implicates an unknowing other person. In cases in which we can honestly conclude that direct amends are not possible, our actions rather than our words may be our only atonement, and our strongest action is to get and stay sober and continue to grow in recovery. When we can and must make amends, however, we are cautioned not to "crawl before anyone," not to submit to being the proverbial doormat. In drunkenness, we lost our footing which, in turn, triggered the damage we inflicted; in sobriety, we must stand on our own feet to give integrity to our amends. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PROCRASTINATION

Procrastination is the thief of time.

~ Edward Young ~

The habit of putting off actions "until things get better" is one the most destructive detours from common sense we can make. Delays never make problems "go away"; they only make success harder to attain. If we shy away from "bringing out" our problems to others, we are sure to cause stress and misunderstanding.

Quite often, postponing facing up to reality results from fear that others will laugh at us. That is self-pity in action. Solutions come from direct and specific action. We always remember that others in our group give us "the right to be wrong," knowing that a change in direction is always possible for anyone with problems. Procrastination wastes precious time.

When I procrastinate about solving problems, I am only making sure they will get worse. Let me remember that solutions come from taking action.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

~ Wendell Johnson ~

Words are powerful. We have a way of thinking in terms of all or nothing, black or white, and seldom in shades of gray. If we like something, we want more and more of it. If we take on a project, we throw ourselves into it with all we’ve got. But the truth is, life is mostly somewhere between extremes. If a little of something is good, more is not necessarily better. When we have a bad day, it doesn’t mean that our whole life is a mess.

If we say, “You always ...” or “You never...” to a friend or loved one, the discussion is sure to intensify. If we use those words in conflict, the other person is sure to feel misunderstood. Always and never are extreme words that are rarely accurate. We are learning to live life in moderation and to think and see life more honestly.

Today I will remember to see the shades of gray, rather than the extremes of black and white.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

To not have control over the events that shape our lives is difficult. To not trust that Someone greater than me is shaping those events is unbearable.

~ Mary Larson ~

There is probably no greater frustration, particularly for us recovering addicts, than the realization that we can’t control the events and the people in our lives. The insanity is that we try to control everything anyway!

The sooner we come to understand that being in control only of ourselves is one of God’s gifts, the more peacefully we will live. What a terrible burden we’ve been shouldering all these years trying to do God’s work as well as our own. Not having to be responsible for the successes or the failures of everyone in our lives gives us hours of freedom to explore new horizons.

Coming to believe in a loving God may take practice. Yet the work is well worth our efforts. When the uncontrollable begins to frighten us, we can find relief in the knowledge that God will take care of us.

I will let my Higher Power handle other people today. I will attend to my own business and know many moments of peace.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I truly feel accepted at a meeting

While they have been supportive, I am sure my family members are weary of dealing with my emotional problems. My colleagues, though they know little, are suspicious, and I'm not surprised that they object to my moodiness, irritability, and frequent absences. But at my meeting, it's altogether a different story.

I notice it as I walk into the room. I see friendly and familiar faces. I see people I am learning to trust, even though l don't know them well. It feels wonderful. I relax and breathe deeper. I think more clearly, even though some thoughts are painful. I look forward to going back each week, and I sense that my fellow members want me to come back, too.

Just as I’ve been welcomed and accepted, I will do service for my group and welcome newcomers.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Passion is a noisy thing — love lives quietly.

~ Lee M. Silverstein ~

Active addiction made our lives a series of jealous, angry rages followed by passionate appeals for forgiveness. We may even have grown to embrace pain like a lover, stroking our ever-present guilt. This was our life when it was empty of love. Our capacity for love, to give and receive, became misguided. Our drug of choice insisted on sole devotion, and repaid us with despair.

Sober love offers and requires appreciation and understanding; it allows us to step back a little and watch another’s growth; it gives us hope both within and beyond ourselves. Sober love is not so much a feeling as a series of loving acts, chosen freely. It is not ownership of another, but support for another’s freedom.

Today let me free myself and others to love without fear.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Golf without bunkers and hazards would be tame and monotonous. So would life.

~ B.C. Forbes ~

What would life be like if every relationship was perfect and every day was filled with great satisfaction and went according to plan? A stress-free life would be like playing a golf course free from sand traps, trees, and difficult holes. While you might enjoy the ease of play, you would not learn how to make the tough shots.

There is no such thing as a life—or even a day— without some stress. Each day offers different variables— weather conditions, traffic volume, miscommunications, and malfunctions. Similarly, you feel different each day— some days you may be more tired or more energized than others. The most you can reasonably expect on any given day is the unexpected.

Instead of longing for today to be stress-free, begin your day as an eager student seeking answers: “What can I learn today? How can I grow? What will I be given that will test my knowledge and skills?” When you see each day as an opportunity for growth, you will be more capable of going with the flow and learning what you are capable of when you are put to the test.

Today might be a hole-in-one day, or it might be filled with many hazards. I will let the day unfold and learn from every experience I am given.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You're only human, you're supposed to make mistakes.

~ Billy Joel ~

Are we determined faultfinders? It may be easy for us to point fingers at others or to cite instances of wrongdoing. It may also be easy for us to misinterpret another's actions, twist words, or make something seem totally opposite to the truth.

Everyone makes mistakes, including us. But somewhere along the path of our growth, we learned we could defend ourselves if we were judge and jury. So we took a defensive stance, clinging to our battle stations as we weathered school, family, relationships, and careers.

We don't have to be so ready to make ourselves blameless and faultless. We can disband our courts of law at any time. But when we do, we will be admitting to ourselves and the people in our lives that we are only human. When we, too, can see ourselves as human, we'll no longer look at life as a battlefield, but as a classroom where everyone is both teacher and student.

I can see myself as human and accept that no human being is blameless.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Understanding

Absolute statements are almost always wrong: All blacks are this-, all whites are that, all men are this; all women are that, all addicts are (whatever). But here’s a statement that holds up under examination: We are all stumbling human beings.

Therefore, we all need to become as understanding as we can, for without understanding, we do not grant others their right to be “human.”

Do I overlook the shortcomings of others?

Higher Power, help me keep in mind that every woman is my sister and every man my brother.

I will be more accepting of my fellows today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees.

~ KARLE WILSON BAKER ~

Newcomer

The person who listened to my Fifth Step was tuned in to just how frightened I was. He said, “You think I have a poor opinion of you for what you’ve shared, don’t you?” And he was right: I was full of shame.

I know that not everyone who hears Step Five works this way, but what he did really helped. He shared events from his life prior to recovery that matched what I’d told him. What he’d done in his past wasn’t identical, but it was equally destructive. There was much more to him under the surface than I’d guessed.

To say I was relieved was an understatement. He didn’t judge me; he didn’t judge himself. I feel as if my entire life changed in the process of sharing this Step.

Sponsor

I can rejoice with you because I, too, have experienced the freedom that comes from knowing I’m no longer alone with my secrets. I’d been judge and jury for so many years. I never thought to give myself the compassion or forgiveness that I felt for other people. Though my sponsor didn’t get into the details of her own history when she listened to my Fifth Step, she made it clear that my story was no worse—and no better—than others she’d heard. Nothing seemed to shock her or put her off—not even my worst. I thought, “So this is what it means to be human.”

Today, I’m a member of the human family.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We come into AA and are told that we should endeavour to establish a conscious contact with our God as we understand Him; that we should, through prayer and meditation, get on speaking terms with Him. We brushed up on our rusty salutations of “Almighty” and practiced on our Thees and Thous only to learn that there was a simpler and more direct approach.

We found that we could “tune God in” to our hearts and consciences and that no other method was needed to send and receive messages. We learned that what we said was of no great consequence anyways, as our prayers were for His will, not ours, and we also learned that we had to make no direct request for those things that were for our good, as He knew our needs before we ever realized them ourselves.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

USEFULNESS PRAYER

God help me today to find balance
Between my character defects and the
Principles of our Program
So as, to be useful
To myself, all others, and You,
The God of my understanding.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOUR DAILY VISIT WITH GOD

We all know that it is God alone who is our peace−although nearly all of us tend to forget it from time to time. We forget it when we begin to neglect our daily visit with God.

Now, when you think that you are too busy for your daily visit, let me ask you frankly, what wonderful thing are you doing that is more important? There is nothing that you could possibly do with that time that would bring you greater benefit than perfect peace. As a matter of fact, if you have something very important and urgent to do, your visit will make that very important thing go through much more easily and successfully.

Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace. . . (Job 22:21).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Buddha on Board

Take care of you.

~ advice given to Julia Roberts character in Pretty Woman ~

Years ago, little yellow "Baby on Board" signs began showing up on rear windows of cars. The message meant that other drivers should be especially careful to avoid an accident with an auto containing an infant. A good idea, to be sure. But does this mean that we can be less careful to avoid colliding with a car containing an adult?

We all have a baby on board wherever we go. No matter what our age or status in life, we carry a fragile inner child in our bosom. That child requires tender care and protection, and we must do everything we can to keep it from being injured

Before a seminar I conducted, I asked each participant to send me a baby picture. I had these photos enlarged as transferred to T-shirts. The first night of the program, I gave out the shirts and told every- one, "In case you become angry at someone, look at that person's T-shirt. Imagine that you are dealing with a sensitive child rather than an armored adult. Speak to that child with patience and kindness.” The group loved the exercise, the program was a huge success, and everyone took their T-shirts home. I still wear mine when I want to remember my inner child.

You not only carry an inner child within you, but an inner Christ, Buddha, and any saint or angel you can imagine. These inner divine beings are much closer to your true identity than the person you usually identify with. Honor the Buddha on Board, and your outer life will reflect the respect you deserve.

I pray to treat myself and others with the gentle respect we truly merit.

God lives within me as me. I honor the light I am.

[caressa222]

June 3

Step by Step

Today, gratitude and humility if my sobriety totals week, months and even years and understanding that I am no more sober than the alcoholic whose last drink was yesterday. Grant me the wisdom to be open to the lessons that I still have to learn in my own recovery and that some of those lessons can come from the alcoholic whose sobriety does not match mine in length of time. I must learn from the experience of the past that I am no more "cured" and just as much at risk of relapse as the newcomer or slipper who continues to struggle. I must also acknowledge the responsibility that the length of my sobriety exacts, namely to share with someone else what has or has not worked for me in hope that my own experience, strength and hope might speak to someone else. Today, I am sober only in the current 24 Hours, and I accept the responsibility that I have to my recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EXPECTATIONS

Stop expecting too much from yourself.

~ Anonymous ~

When there is too wide a gap between standards we set for ourselves and our actual achievement, unhappiness follows. If we can’t improve the performance, we should lower the demands. When we are true to ourselves, we come to expect only that which we are capable of doing. As we grow each day in recovery, we are able to do more.

What we expect from ourselves can change the next day. It is very important that through our meetings and conversations with fellow members, we keep close tabs on our development. We find out that life is for living, and it is better lived when we do our assignments every day.

We are really never given more than we can do. As long as we have realistic goals, we will be given what we need to succeed.

Today I'll remember that when my expectations are too high, I get stuck and down on myself.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Man’s heart away from nature becomes hard.

~ Standing Bear ~

The wisdom of Native American spirituality is deeply centered on the natural world. It teaches us to respect the earth and all natural things. It teaches us, as many world religions do, that we are made of earth and live by the gifts of nature. The word humility comes from the word humus, meaning “of the earth.” When we become alienated or too far removed from nature, we become disconnected from ourselves. We lose our place and become willful.

Humility is not the same as shame. Humility is self- respecting and it expresses that we have a place in the entire web of life. One aspect of a spiritual life is the feeling of awe. Where better to return to the feeling of awe than in sight of a massive mountain, the sea, a powerful storm, or the intricate details of a flower or a stone.

Today I will return to the natural world around me, and with awe, I will give thanks.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I think it must have been at home, while I was a small child, that I got the idea the chief end of woman was to make clothing for mankind.

~ Lucy Larcom ~

We define ourselves within the context of our lives. We may be single, married, divorced, or widowed. We may be career women, we may be home-makers. We may be in school or even retired. Our roles are multiple, but one trait we share is the desire to live free of mood-altering chemicals.

Our Twelve Step program allows us many opportunities to define ourselves. Drawing on the support of women who care about us and the guidance of our always-present Higher Power, we can redefine ourselves. We don’t have to fulfill another’s expectations of us. Recovery is our opportunity to follow our own path. Following our passions while listening to the wisdom within is true self-definition.

I live with others. What they want of me may not be my Higher Power’s choice for me. I will listen to the voice within me today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am becoming willing to ask for help

I feel so anxious, I'm pacing. I feel panicky. (Drinking used to help, but I am sober now.) I'm afraid that if I sit down, I'll become paralyzed. I'm not sure I can call for help. Would anybody understand? Could anybody really help?

And yet I don't think I can handle all this on my own anymore. I don't think I should try to manage this alone anymore. I'm tired of this fear and isolation. I feel desperate‒like I did just before I stopped using. Perhaps‒perhaps I can reach out for help. I did it once before, for my addiction. Maybe I can do it again.

I will now pick up the phone and dial the number of a trusted friend.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The process of growing in detachment allows the entire Twelve Step program to flow.

~ Betty Reddy and Orv McElfresh ~

Just as addiction affects the whole family, so does recovery. The principles we learn often improve many aspects of family life: we are more open, more calm, more honest, more eager to share, and more ready to listen.

But some family members may be resistant to recovery in any form. We have found the best way to respond is by detaching with love. We must protect our own recovery, and not try to change others.

Families can be a source of strength. If we do our own part, and learn to detach with love, we give others a chance to see firsthand the joys of recovery. Detachment with love is a beautiful tool when others choose not to support our recovery. We can keep growing and avoid getting tangled up in the resentments of others.

Today help me remember that what is true for me might not be true for someone else. Help me practice recovery principles in all my affairs.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

In the old days, if a person missed the stagecoach he was content to wait a day or two for the next one. Nowadays, we feel frustrated if we miss one section of a revolving door.

~ Modern Maturity ~

The pace of life is faster than ever. New technologies facilitate round-the-clock manufacturing. Courtship has been upended by online matchmaking sites. E-mails, texting, and instant messaging have replaced the enjoyment of long phone conversations.

This sense of time urgency can spill over into your recovery, making it seem as if it is moving at a snail’s pace. You may arrive at a meeting late and only half-listen to what others are saying as you keep one eye on the clock and the other on your text messages. You may put off reading the Big Book because you believe you do not have the time.

While a speedy recovery is sought for poor health, having a need for speed in recovery from your addiction will not help you get better faster. In fact, the deliberate day- by-day pace of recovery imparts a valuable lesson: take time in all that you do for a greater appreciation of the efforts you make and of what those efforts help you to achieve.

Today I will break out of the whirlwind of doing. Rather than operate in a perpetually frantic mode, I will take the time to appreciate and notice what I am doing.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The ebb and flow of will is like the movements of the tides. . . .If we cease our vain struggles and lamentations long enough to look away from the personal self . . . we realize life is going well with us after all.

~ Charles B. Newcomb ~

Everything in nature changes. We can trust the sun and moon will rise and set, the tide will ebb and flow, and the seasons will change. Because we can trust these things to happen, we can learn to trust the fact that extremes in nature are normal.

So it is with people. We laugh and cry, work and play, we are young and we grow old. There will be extremes with us, just as there are in nature. And as nature finds its natural flow even after the worst disasters, so can we find our natural flow.

There is a rhythm in life that leads us to awaken and one that guides us to sleep. Tonight our natural rhythm will lead us to peace and relaxation. If we can flow with that rhythm, we'll give the quiet calmness a chance to revitalize us for tomorrow. Now is the time to follow nature's rhythm and sleep in peace.

Can I rest tonight in quietness of mind, soul, and body and trust I will find my natural flow?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Accepting ourselves

Many of us used to think that our Higher Power hates this or that about us or about others, but our Higher Power doesn’t hate at all. Our Higher Power accepts us and loves us no matter how we have lived. It understands that we are capable of changing.

This is the only way we come to know God, even as we begin to accept ourselves and others. The ability to accept ourselves more and more is a gift from God. It comes as we build upon the strong, valuable parts of ourselves.

Am I learning to accept myself?

Higher Power, help me believe in your acceptance, forgiveness, and generosity; help me to be willing to see myself in a new way.

Today I will work on self-acceptance by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Dangers foreseen are the sooner prevented.

~ RICHARD FRANCK ~

Newcomer

Lately I keep feeling pulled by thoughts of a minor habit, something that was never important to me before. I keep thinking, “Where’s the harm? It’s not what brought me in here. It’s not going to kill me.”

Sponsor

In recovery, we may still hold on to the belief that something outside ourselves will fix us. We may have quit alcohol, marijuana, heroin, or compulsive gambling, but may think that pints of ice cream or hours of television pose no problem for us. Or perhaps we’ve stopped overeating compulsively and find ourselves craving a drink or a cigarette when we’re under stress.

We’re vulnerable to potentially addictive habits, and we may need to pay attention to our attraction to substances or activities that others can take or leave. Our use of anything compulsively may get worse; it may turn into a new dependency or even make us less careful about treating our primary addiction.

If we’re having questions about a particular substance or behavior, we can ask ourselves why we want to use it. Are there feelings, positive or negative, that we’re uncomfortable with? Are there things we have to do that we’re avoiding? At times like this, it can be helpful to increase the number of meetings we’re attending. Talking about our concerns with a sponsor or another person whose recovery we trust may also help take some of the pressure off.

Today, I stay connected to my feelings.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The harvest is great and the laborers are too few. Too often we get a new man, we work diligently on him, get him to a meeting or two and then another new man appears and we drop the first one and frequently never see him again.

This is not to imply that we are to carry him on our backs indefinitely, but we can utilize an occasional spare ten minutes to call him on the phone. We can keep our eyes open for him at the meetings and if he misses several in succession, we can look him up.

Remember you were the midwife at his rebirth in this new life and you should not neglect him in his AA infancy.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

PRAYER DURING TURMOIL

Dear Higher Power,
During times when my world becomes unhinged
And the foundations of what I believe crack and dissolve,
Give me the grace to believe that Your power is at work in the turmoil of my life.
Lead me to remember that Your power is greater than all evil,
And though the world may rock and sometimes break,
It will in time be transformed by Your Love.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHAT IS YOUR ACT!

People are to be judged by their actions. We sometimes hear it said, "His conduct is bad but at heart he means well"; but this is nonsense. In the old-fashioned phrase, "handsome is as handsome does."

The bad tempered person cannot possibly have "a heart of gold" as is sometimes charitably said. A bad tempered person has a mean, selfish heart and should get busy and change it without delay.

One who loves does not seek his own advantage. Love acts the part, and anything else is hypocrisy.

. . . be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Unaffordable Budget

In my defenselessness my safety lies.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

On the Star Trek television series, the crew of Starship Enterprise regularly faced a tough dilemma. While holding up their force-field shields to ward off an attack, the ship would lose power to do anything else. Engineer Scotty would report to Captain Kirk, "Our shields are draining our energy. If we are going to make a move of any kind, we are going to have to drop them." The crew would then have to come up with some ingenious plan to triumph, and they always did.

Any energy we invest in defense robs us of creativity and diminishes our ability to move forward. Our country spends a billion dollars a day on our war machine; imagine the service that money could generate if it were invested in education, social medicine, the arts, housing, and human services. How much is defense worth?

On a personal level, the more energy we spend in hiding, the less alive and creative we are. Any game that requires defense does not befit the son or daughter of God that you are. Consider bringing your hidden self into the light, and you will liberate the riches of your soul. You might think that if people knew who you really are, you would be crucified; but if you knew who you really are, you would be exalted.

Show me how to live in the light. I do not want to hide anymore. Help me trust that my true strength lies in authenticity.

I am as God created me. I renounce fear and regain my soul.

[caressa222]

une 4

Step by Step

"We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. But we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders ...(T)hose of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble of others find we are soon overcome by them." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9, p 132.

Today, if in service work I take on others' addictions and recovery, let me remember that the lifeline of AA is tossed to us by another person but it is we as individuals who grabbed it. And if I should be the 12th-Stepper who throws out the lifeline, let me accept that it is not within my control to make the other person grab it. Likewise, let me not be tinged with cynicism or hopelessness of the state of the world because it, like the power of alcohol, is something I cannot control. Today, if the message I carry falls on deaf ears, I will not feel like a failure and, likewise, I will not bolster my ego by claiming "success" if the message is heard. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE VALUE OF TIME

Remember, the pursuit of happiness is futile. Happiness, peace of mind, and serenity are the results of the way YOU think God would have you live.

~ Anonymous ~

Relaxation and recreation are important to us all. Rest and entertainment prepare us for the challenges of life by giving us new energy and purpose.

During our sharing, we can all learn to use time well by preparing for the future. Of course, living in the now as well as we can, one day at a time, is our main concern.

A story goes that a carpenter was asked why he was repairing a judge's bench chair with extra care, and he replied, "Because I want it comfortable when I sit in it myself." And he actually did earn that honor some years later! Setting realistic goals now is using time well by preparing for the future.

If I didn't plan for the needs of my future, it would be like not planting seeds to build tomorrow's forests.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When it comes to staying young, a mind lift heats a face-lift any day.

~ Marty Bucella ~

We can choose to focus our attention on the image we present to others, or to focus on who we are on the inside. When we feel inadequate or empty, it may never occur to us to do something about how we feel about ourselves. Instead, we may have learned to try to control how others see us—as if that were the path to self-esteem. In our recovery, we learn that the basis of true self-esteem is to have values and follow them. No matter how successful a man becomes economically, no matter how many achievements he can point to in the world, it is never enough until he feels right about himself as a person.

We can be grateful for a program that points the way toward genuine success: true self-respect and self-acceptance. That doesn’t mean we never regret something we have done; it means we make distinctions between who we are and what we have done. When we have values and follow them, sometimes we fall short of our own standards. Then we admit our shortcomings and repair them. In so doing, our inner self-acceptance is maintained and we once again affirm who we are.

Today I am more concerned about the man I am than about the image I show to others.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We’re all recovering, all the time, from something; we’re growing out of the old and into the new.

~ Jan Lloyd ~

We are in a constant state of change. With each passing moment we are gathering new insights, collecting new experiences, defining new perspectives. Even when it feels as if our friends are passing us by, we can take comfort in knowing that we are not standing still.

The rate of growth is different for each of us. It depends on how quickly we assimilate the growth experiences and specific information our Higher Power wills for us. The more we struggle against the closing of a familiar passageway and the opening of a new door, the more our pace is hindered. We can quicken the pace by trusting that we are always given exactly what our Higher Power has in mind for our next stage of living.

Each day’s experiences are part of the trip that God has planned for us. We will never be in danger as long as we trust the spiritual guidance that speaks to us in the quiet places of our minds.

I am in safe hands. I can leave the old behind and trust the growth experiences I will receive today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am OK

I feel ashamed and small at times: stereotypes are hard to fight. Some people think that everyone with a mental health problem behaves bizarrely, looks odd, or is stuck in a hospital.

But it's not true. I have a mental health problem and I am in recovery. I hold a steady job, provide for my family, and I look like most of the other fathers on my block (except for the ones with more hair!) I believe that I am more like everyone else than I am different. And what's more important is that no matter what anyone else says (or thinks), I am OK.

I will list two ways that I am like everyone else or two ways that I am OK.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Listen, my friend, there is one thing in the world that satisfies, and that is a meeting with the Higher Power.

~ Kabir ~

How we choose to start a day will set the tone for the rest of the day. Will we make time to take care of all our needs today? It’s important to eat a healthy breakfast and exercise a little each day. Our bodies feel refreshed by a hot shower or a comforting soak in the bath. Our bodies need rest. Sometimes we need a good night’s sleep, other times just a nap. In this way we care for and nurture our physical selves. Are we also tuned to our spiritual needs? Do we make time to stop and visit with our Higher Power on a daily basis? Too often, we ignore our spiritual needs and our souls go hungry. A daily meeting with our Higher Power is as important to our spiritual health and growth as a meal is to our bodies.

This spiritual time we set aside each day offers our souls the opportunity to quench the thirst and satisfy the hunger for spiritual food and drink.

Today let me care for all my needs. Help me to respect my body as well as my soul.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

So I close in saying that I might have had a bad break, but I have an awful lot to live for.

~ Lou Gehrig ~

While much about Lou Gehrig’s battle with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis was kept out of the public eye, today we know the debilitating effects of the illness that robbed him of his career in professional baseball. We understand more clearly how the disease creates a powerless person inside of an ever-weakening body.

Even Gehrig’s patience, strong will, and positive attitude could not cure him of his illness. Each day his body broke down a little more and made even the simplest of actions extremely difficult to perform. Yet he coped with pride and dignity, and drew strength from those who cared about him. In his farewell speech before thousands of fans, he proclaimed a statement that, even today, has the power to both humble and awe: “I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth.”

Will you do the work in recovery that you need to do with pride and dignity, or will you have a defeatist attitude? Will you triumph over your addiction, or will you let your addiction get the better of you?

Today I will remember that there are others who face greater challenges and hardships, and they do so with a positive attitude.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

In three words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.

~ Robert Frost ~

If we've ever dug in a garden and unearthed an ants’ nest, we can recall their first reaction to our unintended destruction: they do everything possible to save their lives and supplies. The ants scurry around, moving the larvae to an underground room. Exposed contents are then relocated to unseen passages. In a matter of minutes, the ants are again safely underground and ready to resume their daily routines.

How do we react when some catastrophe or unplanned event occurs? Do we want to crawl under a rock or are we as resilient as the ants? Instead of moaning over postponed plans or the loss of something in our lives, we can try to be like the ants and learn how to best work with circumstances that come our way.

Life doesn't stop for us to lick wounds or add fuel to grievances. Hours pass, we grow older, nature continues. Every event is part of life's cycle. We can't run away from anything. We must meet life head-on and adjust to its ebb and flow.

I can look at an unplanned event in my life as part of lie's cycle. I need to trust that life will go on.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Telling tales

We have such egos. Even when we talk about our troubled past, it often sounds as though we’re bragging. We seem to take pride in how we used drugs, how much and how often we used them. We build up our stories and often try to top the other guy’s drug-alogue. It seems we’re saying, “See how good I am! I don’t do those things anymore.”

But now that we’re in recovery, now that we have a choice in our behavior, trying to impress others with our past doesn’t show serene, spiritual people—it shows insecure, egocentric braggarts.

Am I a storyteller?

Lord, help me avoid glorifying my story to impress myself and others.

To keep my story straight today I will

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

You’ve no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.

~ W. S. GILBERT ~

Newcomer

I’ve been invited to speak at a meeting. It’s not one I usually go to; it’s out of my neighborhood, in an area where I’m pretty sure many people have had far worse experiences than mine. I’m afraid that they won’t take me seriously, and I’m nervous.

Sponsor

Let’s assume that most of the people in the room sincerely want recovery. Like you, they’ve learned that it’s better to identify than to compare. They’ll be listening for feelings similar to the ones they had when they were active in their addictions; they’ll be listening for the miracle—the choice of recovery over addiction—and for the dignity and self-esteem of a sober life. Like you, many of them will listen for one thing to take away that is useful in their recovery. There’s no way we can know ahead of time what will strike one of our listeners as helpful. And if what you say doesn’t keep anyone sober but yourself, that’s one life saved.

The more willing we are to set ego considerations aside, the more room there is for our Higher Power to flow through us and others.

Today, I pray to be useful.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

A split second separates the past, the present and the future. The course of history has been altered in a moment of decision on the part of one man. Inventions that have revolutionized our mode of living may have taken years to perfect but the idea behind them was born in a flash of thought between the ticks of a clock.

In that great day when you determined that you had had enough, that you were whipped, the resolve took but a fraction of a second, but in that instant you closed your past and opened your future.

A moment of thoughtlessness can put you back in the past again.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

NEXT RIGHT STEP

God, please show me all through this day,
What is the next right step.
Give me the strength, faith, and courage
I need to take care of the problems in my life.
Show me the solutions, for I will take the
Next right actions. And, I ask to be free
From self-will and fear. Your will, not mine,
Be done. Amen.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SEEKING AND FINDING

People are very apt to find what they seek. You have noticed that people who go about looking for trouble, practically always find it. The popular proverb, "Listeners seldom hear good of themselves," is an example. We also know people who love to say that they never have any luck. When things seem to go against them, they exclaim triumphantly, “Wouldn't you know it? −that is what always happens to me!"

Now, such a mistaken person needs only to alter this habit and he will automatically alter his life. It is often difficult to get such people to make this alteration, but if they do the result is never in doubt. Spiritual law says that it is never too late to mend, and that when we seek God's help we find it.

Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth; far I am God, and there is no one else (lsaiah 45:22 ).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Get a Job

Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day which must be done. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle never know.

~ Charles Kingsley ~

My friend Stanley seemed to live an enviable life. At a young age, he inherited a fortune from his father, and subsequently never held a real job. Stanley spent most of his time traveling, visiting friends, and dabbling in various projects for fun. As I got to know Stanley, I noticed that he made poor choices in managing his life and his money. He was easily influenced, and he was a bad judge if character. When I discussed Stanley with my counselor, she noted dryly, "He needs a job."

A life that is too comfortable and cushy may weaken us. While there is nothing wrong with having a lot of money, and we are certainly not required to slave at an occupation we hate, there is a value in engaging in work that teaches us to manage our resources wisely and learn the importance of right service, activity, and integrity. Dealing in the marketplace moves us to stretch and enter into situations that challenge us to see and tell more truth, communicate, and grow.

After years of intensive traveling, lecturing, and dealing in the business world, my spirit needed a rest, and I took a sabbatical from work for a year. I spent the first month of my retreat doing nothing, thinking to myself, "This is the life! I am never going back to work again!" As the months went by, I felt more and more healed, and by the time the year was over, I was ready and enthusiastic to return to activity. I needed the rest, but I also needed the stimulation.

Work is not a bad thing; it builds muscles and opens doors that we would not access on our own. Right livelihood brings forth the greatness inherent in our soul and assists us to fulfill our purpose as creative beings.

I pray to put my strengths and talents to their best use, that I may serve and grow.

My work is a joyful and productive expression of my inner spirit

[majestyjo]

June 5

Step by Step

"A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9, p 133.

Today, patience to recover and overcome the years of physical, emotional and spiritual abuse to which I subjected my entire being with alcohol. The promise of a spiritual remedy we need - if we apply it honestly and diligently - will restore us to some level of physical, emotional and spiritual wellness and sanity. In my impatience that is bred of my addiction, let me remember that I am, by nature, hungry for everything now but that not even my impatience can rush the speed of recovery. Today, I take it One Day at a Time. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FORGIVENESS

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge and dares forgive an injury.

~ E.H. Chapin ~

Unless we can freely forgive others, we will never be able to forgive ourselves. The Freedom to give ourselves a second (or third, or fourth) chance to right a wrong or perform a helpful act opens the way to spiritual growth.
Unqualified forgiveness, both for others and for ourselves, keeps.us from being overcome by guilt or shame over not being kind to ourselves and those around us. Forgiveness is a first step in making emotional progress; all succeeding steps become easier.

My sponsor told me to imagine climbing a beautiful hill and sitting in the sunlight, then to imagine my enemy climbing the same hill and sitting with me. Then I was to leave my enemy in the sunlight while I walked down the hill. This, my sponsor said, was forgiveness.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.

~ Tom Wilson ~

If we live long enough, we will grow old. During that time we will make plenty of mistakes and have plenty of opportunities to learn from them. However, sometimes we refuse to accept the lessons that are wrapped in our experience. We may be so determined to have what we want that we deny the truth of what we can actually have. We may be so prideful or so stubborn or so insecure that we defy the lessons we are being taught and refuse to open ourselves to a new idea. We grow older, but not smarter.

Some men become very grown-up and very strong in wisdom at a young age. They are blessed with an open, engaging attitude and a willingness to surrender to truth when it faces them. We should cultivate an attitude of learning, of openness to new lessons, and of willingness to learn the lessons taught by our mistakes.

Today I will learn from my experience and become a little stronger and a little wiser.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I empower myself when I choose not to be a victim anymore.

~ Kathy Kendall ~

During a rational discussion with friends, we easily reject the victim persona. We claim control over ourselves, and we definitely don’t intend to give others power to harm us. However, when alone and faced with the “bullies” in our lives, we struggle to gather our strength and resistance.

Bullies come in many sizes and shapes. They aren’t always easily recognized: some are female, others male; some are young, others old. More often than not, they don’t do us physical harm. But the emotional harm they wreak can be truly damaging. Their effects on our minds and spirits can immobilize us as severely as a broken bone.

Fortunately, we have the Twelve Step program to shield us from the “abusers” in our lives. It also gives us the strength of numbers. Sponsors and friends will help us remember to follow God’s direction when we get momentarily led astray by the words or actions of those who’d harm us.

I am in good company in my recovery program. I will look to those I trust for support when I need to stand up for myself.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My appearance is important to me now

When I was using drugs and having serious symptoms, I didn't much care what happened to me‒except staying high as long as I could. And I didn't much care about how I looked to anyone else. It didn't matter.

But with a little abstinence and stability, I care about myself more. I feel a new respect for myself that includes my body and especially my face. In recovery it's important to me that I look OK. When I take care of my appearance, I feel better about myself.

Today I will shower, comb my hair and put on clean clothes.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Life does not need to be changed, only our attitudes do.

~ Sri Swami Rama ~

Clowns can change their attitudes at will, with the help of make-up, color, and posture. And clowns can reach out and grab our hearts with sadness or smiles. We also can bring sadness or smiles to life each day.

We are the makers of our daily attitude, and we are responsible for the light or gloom we put on each morning. What a wonderful gift we bring to ourselves and others when we choose to wear a happy smile and look at the bright side of life. This doesn’t mean we should neglect our sorrow and losses for we can share those with our group, our sponsor, or our Higher Power. It does mean we have a choice each morning, as we decide whether the world feels basically friendly or unfriendly.

Greeting the day by expecting the best in people and events helps us create an atmosphere of joy and goodwill wherever we go. It is our program in action.

Today let me believe the world is basically friendly and trust that good things will come to me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

When I found out I thought God was white, and a man, I lost interest.

~ Alice Walker ~

Out of all the work that you need to do in recovery, one of the hardest tasks may not be abstinence but the development of trust and belief in your concept of a Higher Power.

Within the program, the terms God or Higher Power simply signify something greater than you. It is up to you, in your recovery, to determine how you personally develop a greater understanding of a spiritual presence in your life. Maybe you feel, as Alice Walker writes in The Color Purple, that “God ain’t a he or a she, but a It.” Perhaps, for you, a Higher Power is not a being but a feeling or an essence—the unfolding of a sunrise or the sound of ocean waves lapping the shoreline.

The form your spiritual guide takes or the name you apply to it is not as important as the substance of what this guide symbolizes and how you can embrace its guidance and wisdom. Belief in something other than yourself and greater than yourself is where your spiritual awakening begins. Where this essence takes you is your spiritual journey.

Today I believe in something greater than myself that will restore me to sanity and empower me to become a better person.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourages; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable.

~ Harry Emerson Fosdick ~

It has been said that the opposite of fear is faith. But how do we change our fears into faith if we have little or no faith? How do we start having faith? One of the easiest ways to develop an alternative to fear is to ask ourselves during a moment of fear: What is the worst that could happen? Once we know the answer to that question, we have dealt with the source of our fears−the unknown.

What do we fear now? First we need to identify all the unknowns that we fear. Once we recognize all the things that can happen, we will be able to prepare ourselves for possible failure, loss, or sadness. By recognizing the fears, we take away some of their power over us. We can then believe we will be all right.

What do I fear and why do I fear it? I know I am okay because I have identified my fear.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Taking the Fourth Step

It is very easy, when talking in general terms, to sweep away our past and say we want forgiveness and understanding of our wrongs. But this should not be confused with doing a Fourth Step. There, we don’t generalize or simplify the nature of our wrongs; we talk about their exact nature. If we put this on a personal level, we begin to see how difficult the inventory Steps are.

Often we must pray for the willingness to go on. Becoming willing to be specific may be the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do. But seeing the living miracles around us testifies to the fact that the rewards are great. If we are willing, God provides the opportunities for working the Steps.

Have I stopped generalizing about my defects?

Higher Power, help me be specific about the exact nature of my wrongs.

Today I will be specific about my defects, including

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Every road is rough to one that has no friend to cheer it.

~ ELIZABETH SHANE ~

Newcomer

Good things are happening in my life now. But I still find myself uncomfortable a lot of the time and wishing I could run. I imagine leaving everyone and everything I’m connected to behind me.

Sponsor

Our disease wants us alone. When we’re isolated from other recovering people, our own demons have their way with us. Even when we’ve experienced a success, we may be afraid that it can’t happen again or that we may have to pay a penalty for so much good. Our minds start working overtime. We’re haunted by our thoughts. Escape seems appealing. Our “fight-or-flight” mechanism, originally intended to help us survive, turns against us.

The antidote for craving escape is, surprisingly, bringing ourselves into contact with people. We can go to a meeting and, if possible, share what’s going on with us. As addicts, we have a history of medicating our feelings—one way of running from them. If we allow ourselves to experience our feelings, accept them, and share them with others, they’ll pass through us. Surrender is required.

Today, I surrender to happiness.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Alcoholics are by nature the great “I AM.” We work ourselves into a lather in doing AA work and sometimes we are rewarded with a degree of success and we begin to puff up like a pouter pigeon, forgetting we are of ourselves able to do nothing. We are still but a drink away from a stumble-bum.

We are what we are by the Grace of God only. We accomplish what little we do by a Power greater than ourselves. How can you help anybody? You were never even able to help yourself.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

MICHAL’S PRAYER

Lord, take me where You want me to go,
Let me meet who You want me to meet;
Tell me what You want me to say,
And
Keep me out of Your way.

(Father Mychal Judge, NYC Fire Department Chaplain, killed September 11, 2001.)

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

ONLY YOUR OWN THOUGHTS

No matter what problem you may have to face today, there is a solution, because you have nothing to deal with but your own thoughts. As you know, you have the power to select and control your thoughts, difficult though it may be at times to do so. As long as you think that your destiny is in the hands of other people, the situation is hopeless.

Remind yourself constantly that you have nothing to deal with but your own thoughts. Write it down where you will see it often. Have it on your desk. Hang it in your bedroom. Write it in your pocketbook. Write it on your soul. It will transform your life. It will lead you out of the land of Egypt and out of the House of Bondage. It will bring you to God.

I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy testimonies (Psalm 119:59).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Where Is the Jungle?

Calm soul of all things! Make it mine to feel amid the city’s jar
That there abides a peace of things man did not make, and cannot mar.

~ Matthew Arnold ~

My parrot was swept on a gust of wind and deposited in a jungle valley across a gulch from his aviary. Yogi landed in a tree near the hut of a hermit, a bearded mountain man named Tom who had holed up in seclusion for many years. As I approached Tom's make-shift dwelling, I saw he was living on a wooden palette under a thin plastic tarpaulin. A few meager possessions were scattered around the pallet, but what caught my eye was his television. Tom was engrossed in watching the news on an old TV hooked up to a car battery.

“Armageddon is on its way!" he announced. "It's all over the news; just watch what's going on—the Bible tells us these are the end times!" Well, I thought, anytime you watch the news it looks like the end times. It turns out that Tom spends most of his time in the jungle watching disaster news on television. While it might appear that he has renounced the world, he has actually taken it with him.

In an old Honeymooners episode, Ed Norton longed to return to work after he was fired from his job in the sewer department. Ed's classic comment to Ralph Kramden was, "You can take the man out of the sewer, but you can't take the sewer out of the man!"

By contrast, my teacher Hilda lived in one of the toughest sections of New York City, and she carried heaven with her wherever she went. She regularly encountered drug addicts, thieves, prostitutes, and murder victims, but the light within her was so strong she transformed everyone she met. You can take the person out of heaven, but you can't take heaven out of the person.

We may live in a jungle, but whether it is heaven or hell depends on the thoughts we carry with us.

I pray to carry the light with me wherever I go.

I live in the world I choose with my thoughts.