Living and Growing

[majestyjo]

You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.

There are as many ways to live and grow as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us.

--Evelyn Mandel

Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this recovery program, in this life.

We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden. Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job. Learning to behave responsibly takes practice. Most of us in this recovery program have behaved irresponsibly for much of our lives. Emotional immaturity is slow to depart, but every responsible action we take gives us the courage for another--and then another. Our own fulfillment is the by-product of the accumulation of our own responsible actions. Others' actions need not concern us.

Today, I will weigh my behavior carefully. Responsible behavior builds gladness of heart.

[caressa222]

Didn't know I didn't have the power. I remember my mother saying to me at a young age, "Look at what you made me do." I didn't know I didn't have the power.

An ex-boyfriend, blamed me for his losing his control on his anger. He hadn't learned that control is an illusion. I didn't have the power to do anything, unless he chose to give up his power to me. I didn't ask for it. It triggered a lot of issues and I had to go into counseling at 15 years clean and sober.

I have enough problems dealing with my own stuff, without taking on other people's stuff. I still tend to want to do it when it comes to my son, but one day at a time, I am getting better.