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Post by tired on Jul 21, 2004 20:30:35 GMT -5
First I want to say hello to all of you I went to a meeting at eor tonight first in a while things have been very hectic here i would love some prayers for my A he went into detox today and will go to a program afterwards if he dosnt get kicked out like the hundred times before iam not really optimistic as his track record is terrible but thers always that mirical weve been fighting like crazt and he has been stealing from us today 99.99 percent sure he took hubbys phone my hubby went over the edge says he is not comming back into our house so i guess first iam asking for prayers for my son and second for hubby although i understand his fustration i feel the same way but i soften not saying thats good and also some prayers for me so i may find the direction i have to take if this dosnt work out for my a i feel torn and in the middle so pleae say a prayer thank you love tired
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Post by dg on Jul 21, 2004 21:49:00 GMT -5
Hi tired,
My heartfelt prayers are being said for all 3 of you.
Hopefully this time, he will feel the desire to want to quit and listen to what the people have to say in the treatment program and decide to go clean.
Sounds like your husband is finally setting a boundries on the A by not letting him come home. This is something I remember having to do with my A. he didnt' steal but was under the influence and I felt my home being violated by that circumstances, its a very hard thing to do, specially when you care and love the person.
Anyhow, with all the hard things you and your family have been going thru, take the quite time to regroup your self and take care of YOU.
(((tired)))
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Post by SunnyGirl on Jul 21, 2004 22:42:09 GMT -5
Dearest Tired,
No person, no situation is hopeless.....
Sending prayers for your son and the entire family.
Addiction truly is a disease that affects everyone
around it.
I remember what my family went through when my
daughter was active and even after she took the first
few steps to get clean. Your husband's reaction is
normal and so is your instinct to protect your child.
Nar-Anon taught me to give up trying to shield and
protect the addict, to let go and allow God to take
charge of the situation.
You keep going to meetings... keep working the
steps..... keep the faith and keep taking care of you....
I will keep you in my prayers, SG
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Post by ~graced~ on Jul 21, 2004 22:43:08 GMT -5
(((((((tired)))))))) I'm glad you got to a meeting for some support. And my heart hurts for you cuz I truly know that pain when it's 'time' to set the boundaries and you feel like the bad person, bad mother. Sucks, but this addiction isn't about you, dearheart. It's tough to remember that in the midst of the chaos when your heart's being torn from your chest, but this one isn't anything you caused or can control or can cure.
Best I could do was tell the boy that I loved him to death...but 'here' wasn't where he'd be coming when he was done. Hard stuff cuz I knew that meant there was no where for him to go...and what mother turns out her child with no where to go? There wasn't any way to make that feeling disappear. It became crystal clear that we'd narrowed it down to my safety and my sanity. And if I always did what I'd always done, I'd always get what I'd always got. I wanted more for the child....I simply wasn't going to get to be the one to help him find it. Broke my heart to tell him he couldn't come home....not until he found something different. I can love him right where my feet are today. I couldn't stay sane, nor was I safe doing what I was doing. Something had to give....and I made the decision that it was going to be his ability to use home as that 'home base' that he believed exempted him from being 'responsible' as a young adult.
(((((((((tired))))))))
My heart truly does hurt for you cuz it's a horrid place to awaken to find yourself in.
Be safe...and take cae of you.
Prayers are being said for the boy, his dad and for you.
And keep coming back, tired....you don't have to do this all alone...
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Post by lildee on Jul 21, 2004 23:07:23 GMT -5
((((Tired))))
My prayers are with you all.
Keep doing meetings and work those Steps !
Love ya and God Bless
Arlene
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Post by ChrisK on Jul 21, 2004 23:28:10 GMT -5
Life doesn't seem fair at all. Thank goodness for this program. I am now able to accept things today. I might not always like it but, I accept things I don't like. For what my prayers R worth, You will be in mine tonight
Chris
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Post by Lin on Jul 22, 2004 4:58:46 GMT -5
it was good to see you tonigth at the meeting. I hope to se more of you. The title of this post is the more prayers the better. I have felt that way too...and totally believe in prayer. I will pray for you, I pormine. i will pray for all three of you. I see those words..the more prayers the better and this...let US pray..and YOU get to "the more MEETINGS the better". Learning how to deal with our reactions is so important. it helps us ahve peace in our lives. I can totally understand the violated feelings of being taken advantage of by family, I have been there many times.
So I suggest...you pary, and you get to as many meetings as you can..online as well as f2f. Work your program daily. That means the readings as well as using the tools. Sharing at meetings and on the baords is a big help. Support is a big part of the program. it's not "sympathy" we are after like some may think. it is support and understanding.
Hang in there Sweetie! You and your family are in my prayers.
Love, LIN
PS...I was tickled pink to see a post by Sunnygirl! Good to hear from you! It's been much too long!
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Post by tired on Jul 22, 2004 16:36:00 GMT -5
To my dearest friends at eor and i dont say that lightly thank you all for posting and all your prayers iam sad to say my son was kicked out last night i realized this when i went to do laundry this morning he wanted me to take him to a mental hospital i spoke to a dear friend who is in recovery and after we spoke a friend called me before i hung up withher i was driving myself to the court my son had a court day today i dont know how or why but i went into the court and told them he got kicked out they also went along with a plan i had so they could pick up my son without any big scenes we arranged this to happen when i pretented to be taking my son to the hospital my son is now in jail the judge is still willing to sent him to a progra m if one can be found suitable for his needs and if medicade will reistate him after this blunder on his part so again iam asking for prayers for him that maybe he will see the light for the right reasons i know what i did today is ok i guess but part of me feels like i betrayed him iam the only person he trusts the court and polce will not tell him so he dosnt know what i did its just my feeling it it was one of the most difficult things ive ever done so i would love if you keep me in your prayers as well if he dosnt go to the program he will stay in jail for 6 months i think and more tough decisions down the road iam too tired to think that far ahead my friend sent me a reading today about feeling your feelings and i do feel like really over cooked spagetti thank you all so much for being here for me it means the world to me and has helped me so much love you all tired
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Post by ChrisK on Jul 22, 2004 17:57:18 GMT -5
My heart aches for you. It could be me going to a rehab or in jail. I do hope, that God's going to do what's best for you and your family.
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Post by tired on Jul 22, 2004 21:10:00 GMT -5
thankschrisk iam glad its not you so whatever it is that your doing keep it up thanks for the prayers and support your friend tired
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Post by dg on Jul 22, 2004 21:10:42 GMT -5
(((tired)))
I am sorry for the pain you are going thru. I pray for you and do keep up the faith. Hang on, and hang on tight, this too shall pass, and with God's will it will be for the better.
hugs..
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Post by lildee on Jul 22, 2004 23:07:28 GMT -5
Dearest Tired
My prayers are with you that the craziness has come to and end. I know you are feeling guilty about turning your son in. With time this will pass. Every rollercoaster has and end, hopefully this is where the train will finally stop. Just for now focus on today and getting yourself and your family back together. Get to meetings and work those steps. Keep the focus on you. You health , your sanity. Don't beat yourself up over this one. My deepest prayers are with you.
Love and God Bless
Arlene
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~With Peace & Love, dg~ 8*)[/b][/size]
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.