NA JFT Meditations 2020

[majestyjo]

August 25, 2020
The Ninth Step - reclaiming life
Page 247

"We are achieving freedom from the wreckage of our past."

Basic Text, p. 42

When we start the Ninth Step, we've reached an exciting stage in our recovery. The damage done in our lives is what led many of us to seek help in the first place. Now, we have a chance to clean up that wreckage, amend our past, and reclaim our lives.

We've spent a long time and much effort preparing for this step. When we came to NA, facing the debris of our past was probably the last thing we wanted to do. We started doing it privately with a personal inventory. Then, we opened our past up to the scrutiny of a select, trusted few: ourselves, our Higher Power, and one other person. We took a look at our shortcomings, the source of much of the chaos in our lives, and asked that all those defects of character be removed. Finally, we listed the amends needed to set our wrongs right-all of them-and became willing to make them.

Now, we have the opportunity to make amends-to acquire freedom from the wreckage of our past. Everything we've done so far in NA has led us here. At this point in the process of our recovery, the Ninth Step is exactly what we want to do. With the Twelve Steps and the help of a Higher Power, we are clearing away the rubble that for so long has stood in the way of our progress; we are gaining the freedom to live.

Just for Today: I will take advantage of the opportunity to reclaim my life. I will experience freedom from the wreckage of my past.

[majestyjo]

August 26

“We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”

Step Ten

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A daily Tenth Step keeps us on a sound spiritual footing. While each member asks different questions, some questions have been found to be helpful to almost everyone. Two key Tenth Step questions are, “Am I honestly in touch with myself, my actions, and my motives? And have I prayed for God’s will for me and the power to carry it out?” These two questions, answered honestly, will lead us into a more thorough look at our day.

When focusing on our relationships with others, we may ask, “Have I harmed anyone today, either directly or indirectly? Do I need to make amends to anyone as a result of my actions today?” We keep it simple in our inventory if we remember to ask, “Where was I wrong? How can I do it better next time?”

NA members often find that their inventories include other important questions. “Was I good to myself today? Did I do something for someone else and expect nothing in return? Have I reaffirmed my faith in a loving Higher Power?”

Step Ten is a maintenance step of the NA program. The Tenth Step helps us to continue living comfortably in recovery.

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Just for today: I will remember to review my day. If I have harmed another, I will make amends. I will think about how I can act differently.

[majestyjo]

August 27, 2020
Choosing life
Page 249

"Change from self-destructive patterns of life became necessary."

Basic Text, p.15

Active addiction is a smoldering death-wish. Each of us courted death every time we used. Our lifestyles, too, put us at risk. The life of an addict is sold cheaply with every day and every dose.

In recovery, the first pattern we change is the pattern of using. Staying clean is the start of our journey into life. But our self-destructive behavior usually went far deeper than just our using. Even in recovery, we may still treat ourselves as if we are worthless. When we treat ourselves badly, we feel badly. And when we feel badly, we seek relief-maybe even in our old solution, drugs.

Choosing recovery means choosing life. We decide each day that we want to live and be free. Each time we avoid self-destructive behavior, we choose recovery.

Just for Today: I will choose life by choosing recovery. I will take care of myself.

[caressa222]

August 28, 2020
The light of exposure
Page 250

"These defects grow in the dark and die in the light of exposure."

Basic Text, p.32

The Fifth Step asks us to share our true nature with God, with ourselves, and with another human being. It doesn't encourage us to tell everyone every little secret about ourselves. It doesn't ask us to disclose to the whole world every shameful or frightening thought we've ever had. Step Five simply suggests that our secrets cause us more harm than good when we keep them completely to ourselves.

If we give in to our reluctance to reveal our true nature to even one human being, the secret side of our lives becomes more powerful. And when the secrets are in control, they drive a wedge between ourselves, our Higher Power, and the things we value most about our recovery.

When we share our secret selves in confidence with at least one human being-our sponsor, perhaps, or a close friend-this person usually doesn't reject us. We disclose ourselves to someone else and are rewarded with their acceptance. When this happens, we realize that honest sharing is not life-threatening; the secrets have lost their power over us.

Just for Today: I can disarm the secrets in my life by sharing them with one human being.

[majestyjo]

August 29, 2020
Don't look back
Page 251

"The steps offer "a big change from a life dominated by guilt and remorse. Our futures are changed because we don't have to avoid those who we have harmed. As a result... we receive a new freedom that can end isolation.""

Basic Text, p.39

Many of us come to Narcotics Anonymous full of regrets about our past. Our steps help us begin to resolve those regrets. We examine our lives, admit our wrongs, make amends for them, and sincerely try to change our behavior. In doing so, we find a joyous sense of freedom.

No longer must we deny or regret our past. Once we've made our amends, what's done is truly over and gone. From that point on, where we come from ceases to be the most important thing about us. It's where we are going that counts.

In NA, we begin to look forward. True, we live and stay clean just for today. But we find that we can begin to set goals, dream dreams, and look ahead to the joys a life in recovery has to offer. Looking forward keeps us centered in where we are going, not remorseful or regretful about our past. After all, it is hard to move forward if we are looking back.

Just for Today: The steps have freed me from regrets over my past. Today, I look forward to my new life in recovery

[majestyjo]

August 30, 2020
Doing good, feeling good
Page 252

"We examine our actions, reactions, and motives. We often find that we've been doing better than we've been feeling."

Basic Text, p.43

The way we treat others often reveals our own state of being. When we are at peace, we're most likely to treat others with respect and compassion. However, when we're feeling off center; we're likely to respond to others with intolerance and impatience. When we take regular inventory, we'll probably notice a pattern: We treat others badly when we feel bad about ourselves.

What might not be revealed in an inventory, however, is the other side of the coin: When we treat others well, we feel good about ourselves. When we add this positive truth to the negative facts we find about ourselves in our inventory, we begin to behave differently.

When we feel badly, we can pause to pray for guidance and strength. Then, we make a decision to treat those around us with kindness, gentleness, and the same concern we'd like to be shown. A decision to be kind may nurture and sustain the happiness and peace of mind we all wish for. And the joy we inspire may lift the spirits of those around us, in turn fostering our own spiritual well-being.

Just for Today: I will remember that if I change my actions, my thoughts will follow.

[majestyjo]

August 31, 2020
Gratitude
Page 253

"Hopeless living problems have become joyously changed. Our disease has been arrested, and now anything is possible."

Basic Text, p.106

The NA program has given us more freedom than we ever dreamed possible. Sometimes, though, in the daily routine, we lose track of how much we've been given. How, exactly, have our lives changed in Narcotics Anonymous?

The bottom line of recovery, of course, is freedom from the compulsion to use. No longer must we devote all our resources to feeding our addiction. No longer must we endanger, humiliate, or abuse ourselves or others just to get the next "fix." Abstinence itself has brought great freedom to our lives.

Narcotics Anonymous has given us much more than simple abstinence-we've been given a whole new life. We've taken our inventory and have identified the defects of character that bound us for so long, keeping us from living and enjoying life. We've surrendered those shortcomings, taken responsibility for them, and sought the direction and power we need to live differently. Our home group has given us the personal warmth and support that helps us continue living in recovery. And topping all this off, we have the love, care, and guidance of the God we've come to understand in NA.

In the course of day-to-day recovery, we sometimes forget how much our lives have changed in Narcotics Anonymous. Do we fully appreciate what our program has given us?

Just for Today: Recovery has given me freedom. I will greet the day with hope, grateful that anything is possible today.

Copyright (c) 2007-2020, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[majestyjo]

September 01, 2020
Real values
Page 255

"We become able to make wise and loving decisions based on principles and ideals that have real value in our lives."

Basic Text, p.105

Addiction gave us a certain set of values, principles we applied in our lives. "You pushed me" one of those values told us, "so I pushed back, hard." "It's mine" was another value generated by our disease. "Well, okay, maybe it wasn't mine to start with, but I liked it, so I made it mine." Those values were hardly values at all-more like rationalizations-and they certainly didn't help us make wise and loving decisions. In fact, they served primarily to dig us deeper and deeper into the grave we'd already dug for ourselves.

The Twelve Steps give us a strong dose of real values, the kind that help us live in harmony with ourselves and those around us. We place our faith not in ourselves, our families, or our communities, but in a Higher Power-and in doing so, we grow secure enough to be able to trust our communities, our families, and even ourselves. We learn to be honest, no matter what-and we learn to refrain from doing things we might want to hide. We learn to accept responsibility for our actions. "It's mine" is replaced with a spirit of selflessness. These are the kind of values that help us become a responsible, productive part of the life around us. Rather than digging us deeper into a grave, these values restore us to the world of the living.

Just for Today: I am grateful for the values I've developed. I am thankful for the ability they give me to make wise, loving decisions as a responsible, productive member of my community.

[majestyjo]

September 02, 2020
Higher Powered
Page 256

"Daily practice of our Twelve Step program enables us to change from what we were to people guided by a Higher Power."

Basic Text, p.8

Who have we been, and who have we become? There are a couple of ways to answer this question. One is very simple: We came to Narcotics Anonymous as addicts, our addiction killing us. In NA, we've been freed from our obsession with drugs and our compulsion to use. And our lives have changed.

But that's only the tip of the iceberg. Who have we really been? In the past, we were people without power or direction. We felt like we had no purpose, no reason for living. Our lives didn't make any more sense to us than they did to our families, our friends, or our neighbors.

Who are we really becoming? Today, we are not merely clean addicts, but people with a sense of direction, a purpose, and a Power greater than ourselves. Through daily practice of the Twelve Steps, we've begun to understand how our addiction warped our feelings, motivations, and behavior. Gradually, the destructive force of our disease has been replaced by the life-giving force of our Higher Power.

Recovery means more than cleaning up-it means powering up. We have done more than shed some bad habits; we are becoming new people, guided by a Higher Power.

Just for Today: The guidance I need to become a new person is ready at hand. Today, I will draw further away from my old lack of direction and closer to my Higher Power.

[majestyjo]

September 03, 2020

“Humility is a by-product that allows us to grow and develop in an atmosphere of freedom and removes the fear of becoming known by our employers, families, or friends as addicts.”

Basic Text, pp. 75-76

––––=––––

Many of us may not have understood the idea that “anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions.” We wondered how this could be. What does anonymity have to do with our spiritual life?

The answer is, plenty! By guarding and cherishing our anonymity, we earn spiritual rewards beyond comprehension. There is great virtue in doing something nice for someone and not telling anyone about it. By the same token, resisting the impulse to proudly announce our membership in NA to the world—in effect, asking everyone to acknowledge how wonderful we are—makes us value our recovery all the more.

Recovery is a gift that we’ve received from a Power greater than ourselves. Boasting about our recovery, as if it were our own doing, leads to prideful feelings and grandiosity. But keeping our anonymity leads to humility and feelings of gratitude. Recovery is its own reward; public acclaim can’t make it any more valuable than it already is.

––––=––––

Just for today: Recovery is its own reward; I don’t need to have mine approved of publicly. I will maintain and cherish my anonymity.

[majestyjo]

September 04, 2020
Cluttered spirits
Page 258

"We try to remember that when we make amends we are doing it for ourselves. "

Basic Text, p.41

As long as we still owe amends, our spirits are cluttered with things we don't need. We're carrying the extra load of an apology owed, a resentment held, or unexpressed remorse. It's like having a messy house. We could leave so we don't have to see the mess, or maybe just step over the piles of debris and pretend they aren't there. But ignoring the disorder won't make it disappear. In the end, the dirty dishes, the crumb-filled carpet, and the overflowing wastebaskets are still there, waiting to be cleaned up.

A cluttered spirit is just as hard to live with as a messy home. We always seem to be tripping over yesterday's leavings. Every time we turn around and try to go somewhere, there is something blocking our path. The more we neglect our responsibility to make amends, the more cluttered our spirits become. And we can't even hire someone to clean up. We have to do the work ourselves.

We gain a deep sense of satisfaction from making our own amends. Just as we would feel after we've cleaned our homes and have time to enjoy a bit of sunshine through sparkling windows, so will our spirits rejoice at our freedom to truly enjoy our recovery. And once the big mess is cleaned up, all we have to do is pick up after ourselves as we go along.

Just for Today: I will clear away what's cluttering my spirit by making the amends I owe.

[caressa222]

September 05, 2020
Not hopelessly bad
Page 259

"We find that we suffer from a disease, not a moral dilemma. We were critically ill, not hopelessly bad."

Basic Text, p.16

For many of us, Narcotics Anonymous was the answer to a personal puzzle of long standing. Why did we always feel alone, even in a crowd, we wondered? Why did we do so many crazy, self-destructive things? Why did we feel so badly about ourselves so much of the time? And how had our lives gotten so messed up? We thought we were hopelessly bad, or perhaps hopelessly insane.

Given that, it was a great relief to learn we suffered from a disease. Addiction-that was the source of our problems. A disease, we realized, could be treated. And when we treat our disease, we can begin to recover.

Today, when we see symptoms of our disease resurfacing in our lives, we need not despair. After all, it's a treatable disease we have, not a moral dilemma. We can be grateful we can recover from the disease of addiction through the application of the Twelve Steps of NA.

Just for Today: I am grateful that I have a treatable disease, not a moral dilemma. I will continue applying the treatment for the disease of addiction by practicing the NA program.

[majestyjo]

September 06, 2020
Regular meeting attendance
Page 260

"We have learned from our group experience that those who keep coming to our meetings regularly stay clean."

Basic Text, p.9

The NA program gives us a new pattern of living. One of the basic elements of that new pattern is regular meeting attendance. For the newcomer, living clean is a brand new experience. All that once was familiar is changed. The old people, places, and things that served as props on the stage of our lives are gone. New stresses appear, no longer masked or deadened by drugs. That's why we often suggest that newcomers attend a meeting every day. No matter what comes up, no matter how crazy the day gets, we know that our daily meeting awaits us. There, we can renew contact with other recovering addicts, people who know what we're going through because they've been through it themselves. No day needs to go by without the relief we get only from such fellowship.

As we mature in recovery, we get the same kinds of benefits from regular meeting attendance. Regardless of how long we've been clean, we never stop being addicts. True, we probably won't immediately start using mass quantities of drugs if we miss our meetings for a few days. But the more regularly we attend NA meetings, the more we reinforce our identity as recovering addicts. And each meeting helps put us that much further from becoming using addicts again.

Just for Today: I will make a commitment to include regular meeting attendance as a part of my new pattern of living.

[majestyjo]

September 07, 2020
Resentment and forgiveness
Page 261

"Where there has been wrong, the program teaches us the spirit of forgiveness. "

Basic Text, p.12

In NA, we begin to interact with the world around us. We no longer live in isolation. But freedom from isolation has its price: The more we interact with people, the more often we'll find someone stepping on our toes. And such are the circumstances in which resentments are often born.

Resentments, justified or not, are dangerous to our ongoing recovery. The longer we harbor resentments, the more bitter they become, eventually poisoning us. To stay clean, we must find the capacity to let go of our resentments, the capacity to forgive. We first develop this capacity in working Steps Eight and Nine, and we keep it alive by regularly taking the Tenth Step.

Sometimes when we are unwilling to forgive, it helps to remember that we, too, may someday require another person's forgiveness. Haven't we all, at one time or another, done something that we deeply regretted? And aren't we healed in some measure when others accept our sincere amends?

An attitude of forgiveness is a little easier to develop when we remember that we are all doing the very best we can. And someday we, too, will need forgiveness.

Just for Today: I will let go of my resentments. Today, if I am wronged, I will practice forgiveness, knowing that I need forgiveness myself.

[majestyjo]

September 08, 2020
Rebellion
Page 262

"We need not lose faith when we become rebellious."

Basic Text, p.35

Many of us have lived our entire lives in revolt. Our initial response to any type of direction is often negative. Automatic rejection of authority seems to be a troubling character defect for many addicts.

A thorough self-examination can show us how we react to the world around us. We can ask ourselves if our rebellion against people, places, and institutions is justified. If we keep writing long enough, we can usually get past what others did and uncover our own part in our affairs. We find that what others did to us was not as important as how we responded to the situations we found ourselves in.

Regular inventory allows us to examine the patterns in our reactions to life and see if we are prone to chronic rebelliousness. Sometimes we will find that, while we may usually go along with what is suggested to us rather than risk rejection, we secretly harbor resentments against authority. If left to themselves, these resentments can lead us away from our program of recovery.

The inventory process allows us to uncover, evaluate, and alter our rebellious patterns. We can't change the world by taking an inventory, but we can change the way we react to it.

Just for Today: I want freedom from the turmoil of rebelliousness. Before I act, I will inventory myself and think about my true values.

[majestyjo]

NA Just For Today

September 9
Feet Of Clay

"One of the biggest stumbling blocks to recovery seems to be placing unrealistic expectations on... others."

Basic Text p.78

Many of us come into Narcotics Anonymous feeling pretty poorly about ourselves. By comparison, the recovering addicts we meet at meetings may seem almost superhumanly serene. These wise, loving people have many months, even years of living in accordance with spiritual principles, giving of themselves to others without expecting anything back. We trust them, allowing them to love us until we can love ourselves. We expect them to make everything alright again.

Then the glow of early recovery begins to fade, and we start to see the human side of our NA friends and sponsor. Perhaps a fellow member of our home group stands us up for a coffee date, or we see two old-timers bickering at a committee meeting, or we realize our sponsor has a defect of character or two. We're crushed, disillusioned-these recovering addicts aren't perfect after all! How can we possibly trust them anymore?

Somewhere between "the heroes of recovery" and "the lousy NA bums" lies the truth: Our fellow addicts are neither completely bad nor completely good. After all, if they were perfect, they wouldn't need this program. Our friends and sponsor are ordinary recovering addicts, just like we are. We can relate to their ordinary recovery experience and use it in our own program.

Just for today: My friends and my sponsor are human, just like me-and I trust their experience all the more for that.

pg. 263

[majestyjo]

September 10, 2020
More powerful than words
Page 264

"We learn that a simple, loving hug can make all the difference in the world."

Basic Text, p.91

Perhaps there have been times in our recovery when we were close to someone who was in great pain. We struggled with the question, "What can I do to make them feel better?" We felt anxious and inadequate to relieve their suffering. We wished we had more experience to share. We didn't know what to say.

But sometimes life deals wounds that can't be eased by even the most heartfelt words. Words can never express all we mean when our deepest feelings of compassion are involved. Language is inadequate to reach a wounded soul, as only the touch of a loving Higher Power can heal an injury to the spirit.

When those we love are grieving, simply being present is perhaps the most compassionate contribution we can offer. We can rest assured that a loving Higher Power is working hard at healing the spirit; our only responsibility is to be there. Our presence, a loving hug, and a sympathetic ear will surely express the depth of our feelings, and do more to reach the heart of a human being in pain than mere words ever could.

Just for Today: I will offer my presence, a hug, and a sympathetic ear to someone I love.

[majestyjo]

September 11, 2020
Bend with the wind
Page 265

"We learn to become flexible.. As new things are revealed, we feel renewed."

Basic Text, p.102

"Flexibility" was not a part of the vocabulary we used in our using days. We'd become obsessed with the raw pleasure of our drugs and hardened to all the softer, subtler, more infinitely varied pleasures of the world around us. Our disease had turned life itself into a constant threat of jails, institutions, and death, a threat against which we hardened ourselves all the more. In the end we became brittle. With the merest breath of life's wind we crumbled at last, broken, defeated, with no choice but to surrender.

But the beautiful irony of recovery is that, in our surrender, we found the flexibility we had lost in our addiction, the very lack of which had defeated us. We regained the ability to bend in life's breeze without breaking. When the wind blew, we felt its loving caress against our skin, where once we would have hardened ourselves as if against the onrush of a storm.

The winds of life blow new airs our way each moment, and with them new fragrances, new pleasures, varied, subtly different. As we bend with life's wind, we feel and hear and touch and smell and taste all it has to offer us. And as new winds blow, we feel renewed.

Just for Today: Higher Power, help me bend with life's wind and glory in its passing. Free me from rigidity.

[majestyjo]

September 12, 2020
New horizons
Page 266

"My life is well-rounded and I am becoming a more comfortable version of myself, not the neurotic, boring person that I thought I'd be without drugs."



Is there really life without drugs? Newcomers are sure that they are destined to lead a humdrum existence once they quit using. That fear is far from reality.

Narcotics Anonymous opens the door to a new way of life for our members. The only thing we lose in NA is our slavery to drugs. We gain a host of new friends, time to pursue hobbies, the ability to be stably employed, even the capacity to pursue an education if we so desire. We are able to start projects and see them through to completion. We can go to a dance and feel comfortable, even if we have two left feet. We start to budget money to travel, even if it's only with a tent to a nearby campsite. In recovery, we find out what interests us and pursue new pastimes. We dare to dream.

Life is certainly different when we have the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous to return to. Through the love we find in NA, we begin to believe in ourselves. Equipped with this belief, we venture forth into the world to discover new horizons. Many times, the world is a better place because an NA member has been there.

Just for Today: I can live a well-rounded, comfortable life-a life I never dreamed existed. Recovery has opened new horizons to me and equipped me to explore them.

[majestyjo]

September 13, 2020 no
Something different
Page 267

"We had to have something different, and we thought we had found it in drugs. "

Basic Text, p.13

Many of us have always felt different from other people. We know we're not unique in feeling that way; we hear many addicts share the same thing. We searched all our lives for something to make us all right, to fix that "different" place inside us, to make us whole and acceptable. Drugs seemed to fill that need.

When we were high, at least we no longer felt the emptiness or the need. There was one drawback: The drugs, which were our solution, quickly became our problem.

Once we gave up the drugs, the sense of emptiness returned. At first we felt despair because we didn't have any solution of our own to that miserable longing. But we were willing to take direction and began to work the steps. As we did, we found what we'd been looking for, that "something different" Today, we believe that our lifelong yearning was primarily for knowledge of a Higher Power; the "something different" we needed was a relationship with a loving God. The steps tell us how to begin that relationship.

Just for Today: My Higher Power is the "something different" that's always been missing in my life I will use the steps to restore that missing ingredient to my spirit.