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Post by joeykins on Mar 19, 2020 20:28:08 GMT -5
March 20
Higher Power
“Most of us have no trouble admitting that addiction had become a destructive force in our lives. Our best efforts resulted in ever greater destruction and despair. At some point, we realized that we needed the help of some Power greater than our addiction.”
Basic Text, p. 24
Most of us know without a doubt that our lives have been filled with destruction. Learning that we have a disease called addiction helps us understand the source or cause of this destruction. We can recognize addiction as a power that has worked devastation in our lives. When we take the First Step, we admit that the destructive force of addiction is bigger than we are. We are powerless over it.
At this point, our only hope is to find some Power greater than the force of our addiction—a Power bent on preserving life, not ending it. We don’t have to understand it or even name it; we only have to believe that there could be such a Higher Power. The belief that a benevolent Power greater than our addiction just might exist gives us enough hope to stay clean, a day at a time.
Just for today: I believe in the possibility of some Power that’s bigger than my addiction.
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Post by joeykins on Mar 20, 2020 22:12:40 GMT -5
March 21
A treatable illness
“Addiction is a disease that involves more than the use of drugs.”
Basic Text, p. 3
At our first meeting, we may have been taken aback at the way members shared about how the disease of addiction had affected their lives. We thought to ourselves, “Disease? I’ve just got a drug problem! What in the world are they talking about?”
After some time in the program, we began to see that our addiction ran deeper than our obsessive, compulsive drug use. We saw that we suffered from a chronic illness that affected many areas of our lives. We didn’t know where we’d “caught” this disease, but in examining ourselves we realized that it had been present in us for many years.
Just as the disease of addiction affects every area of our lives, so does the NA program. We attend our first meeting with all the symptoms present: the spiritual void, the emotional agony, the powerlessness, the unmanageability.
Treating our illness involves much more than mere abstinence. We use the Twelve Steps, and though they don’t “cure” our illness, they do begin to heal us. And as we recover, we experience the gift of life.
Just for today: I will treat my illness with the Twelve Steps.
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Post by joeykins on Mar 21, 2020 20:56:32 GMT -5
March 22
The principle of self-support
“In our addiction, we were dependent upon people, places, and things. We looked to them to support us and supply the things we found lacking in ourselves.”
Basic Text, pp. 70-71
In the animal kingdom, there is a creature that thrives on others. It is called a leech. It attaches itself to people and takes what it needs. When one victim brushes the leech off, it simply goes to the next.
In our active addiction, we behaved similarly. We drained our families, our friends, and our communities. Consciously or unconsciously, we sought to get something for nothing from virtually everyone we encountered.
When we saw the basket passed at our first meeting we may have thought, “Self-support! Now what kind of odd notion is this?” As we watched, we noticed something. These self-supporting addicts were free. By paying their own way, they had earned the privilege of making their own decisions.
By applying the principle of self-support in our personal lives, we gain for ourselves the same kind of freedom. No longer does anyone have the right to tell us where to live, because we pay our own rent. We can eat, wear, or drive whatever we choose, because we provide it for ourselves.
Unlike the leech, we don’t have to depend on others for our sustenance. The more responsibility we assume, the more freedom we’ll gain.
Just for today: There are no limits to the freedom I can earn by supporting myself. I will accept personal responsibility and pay my own way today.
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Post by joeykins on Mar 23, 2020 5:29:22 GMT -5
March 23
God’s gifts
“We do the footwork and accept what’s being given to us freely on a daily basis.”
Basic Text, p. 47
Our relationship with our Higher Power is a two-way street. In prayer, we speak and God listens. When we meditate, we do our best to listen for the will of our Higher Power. We know that we are responsible for our part of the relationship. If we do not pray and listen, we shut our Higher Power out of our lives.
When we think about our relationship with our Higher Power, it’s important to remember which one we are: the powerless one. We can ask for guidance; we can ask for willingness or strength; we can ask for knowledge of our Higher Power’s will—but we cannot make demands. The God of our understanding—the one with the power—will fulfill that half of the relationship by giving us exactly what we need, when we need it.
We need to take action every day to keep our relationship with a Higher Power alive. One way we do this is by applying the Eleventh Step. Then we remember our own powerlessness and accept the will of a Power greater than ourselves.
Just for today: In my relationship with my Higher Power, I am the powerless one. Remembering who I am, today I will humbly accept the gifts of the God I understand.
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Post by joeykins on Mar 23, 2020 20:48:09 GMT -5
March 24
Letting go of the past
“It is not where we were that counts, but where we are going.”
Basic Text, p. 23
When we first find recovery, some of us feel shame or despair at calling ourselves “addicts.” In the early days, we may be filled with both fear and hope as we struggle to find new meaning in our lives. The past may seem inescapable and overpowering. It may be hard to think of ourselves in any way other than the way we always have.
While memories of the past can serve as reminders of what’s waiting for us if we use again, they can also keep us stuck in a nightmare of shame and fear. Though it may be difficult to let go of those memories, each day in recovery can bring us that much farther away from our active addiction. Each day, we can find more to look forward to and less to punish ourselves for.
In recovery, all doors are open to us. We have many choices. Our new life is rich and full of promise. While we cannot forget the past, we don’t have to live in it. We can move on.
Just for today: I will pack my bags and move out of my past into a present filled with hope.
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Post by joeykins on Mar 24, 2020 21:48:03 GMT -5
March 25
I can’t, but we can
“From the isolation of our addiction, we find a fellowship of people with a common bond... Our faith, strength, and hope come from people sharing their recovery...”
Basic Text, p. 98
Admit no weakness, conceal all shortcomings, deny every failure, go it alone—that was the creed many of us followed. We denied that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable, despite all evidence to the contrary. Many of us would not surrender without the assurance there was something worth surrendering to. Many of us took our First Step only when we had evidence that addicts could recover in Narcotics Anonymous.
In NA, we find others who’ve been in the same predicament, with the same needs, who’ve found tools that work for them. These addicts are willing to share those tools with us and give us the emotional support we need as we learn to use them. Recovering addicts know how important the help of others can be because they’ve been given that help themselves. When we become a part of Narcotics Anonymous, we join a society of addicts like ourselves, a group of people who know that we help one another recover.
Just for today: I will join in the bond of recovery. I will find the experience, strength, and hope I need in the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous.
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Post by joeykins on Mar 25, 2020 20:05:32 GMT -5
March 26
Trusting a sponsor—worth the risk
“In seeking a sponsor, most members look for someone they feel they can learn to trust, someone who seems compassionate…”
IP No. 11, Sponsorship, Revised
The idea of sponsorship may be new to us. We have spent many years without direction, relying only on self-interest, suspecting everyone, trusting no one. Now that we’re learning to live in recovery, we find we need help. We can’t do it alone anymore; we must take the risk of trusting another human being. Often, the first person we take that risk with is our sponsor—someone we respect, someone we identify with, someone we have reason to trust.
As we open up to our sponsor, a bond develops between us. We disclose our secrets and develop confidence in our sponsor’s discretion. We share our concerns and learn to value our sponsor’s experience. We share our pain and are met with empathy. We get to know one another, respect one another, love one another. The more we trust our sponsor, the more we learn to trust ourselves.
Trust helps us move away from a life of fear, confusion, suspicion, and indirection. In the beginning, it feels risky to trust another addict. But that trust is the same principle we apply in our relationship with a Higher Power—risky or not, our experience tells us we can’t do without it. And the more we take the risk of trusting our sponsor, the more open we will feel about our lives.
Just for today: I want to grow and change. I will risk trusting my sponsor and find the rewards of sharing.
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Post by joeykins on Mar 26, 2020 21:12:55 GMT -5
March 27
Looking for the assets
“In accordance with the principles of recovery, we try not to judge, stereotype, or moralize with each other.”
Basic Text, p. 11
How many times in our recovery have we misunderstood the behavior of another, immediately formed a judgment, applied a label, and neatly tucked the individual into a pigeonhole? Perhaps they had developed a different understanding of a Power greater than themselves than we had, so we concluded their beliefs were unspiritual. Or maybe we saw a couple having an argument; we assumed their relationship was sick, only to find out later that their marriage had prospered for many years.
Thoughtlessly tossing our fellows into categories saves us the effort of finding out anything about them. Every time we judge the behavior of another, we cease to see them as potential friends and fellow travelers on the road to recovery.
If we happened to ask those we are judging if they appreciate being stereotyped, we would receive a resounding “no” in response. Would we feel slighted if this were done to us? Yes, indeed. Our best qualities are what we want others to notice. In the same way, our fellow recovering addicts want to be well thought of. Our program of recovery asks us to look positively at life. The more we concentrate on the positive qualities in others, the more we’ll notice them in ourselves.
Just for today: I will set aside my negative judgments of others, and concentrate instead on appreciating the favorable qualities in all.
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Post by joeykins on Mar 27, 2020 21:29:35 GMT -5
March 28
Facing feelings
“We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic.”
Basic Text, p. 30
While we were using, many of us were unable or unwilling to feel many emotions. If we were happy, we used to make us happier. If we were angry or depressed, we used to mask those feelings. In continuing this pattern throughout our active addiction, we became so emotionally confused that we weren’t sure what normal emotions were anymore.
After being in recovery for some time, we find that the emotions we had suppressed suddenly begin to surface. We may find that we do not know how to identify our feelings. What we may be feeling as rage may only be frustration. What we perceive as suicidal depression may simply be sadness. These are the times when we need to seek the assistance of our sponsor or other members of NA. Going to a meeting and talking about what is happening in our lives can help us to face our feelings instead of running from them in fear.
Just for today: I will not run from the uncomfortable emotions I may experience. I will use the support of my friends in recovery to help me face my emotions.
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Post by joeykins on Mar 28, 2020 16:46:30 GMT -5
March 29
Our own true will
“...God’s will for us consists of the very things we most value. God’s will... becomes our own true will for ourselves.”
Basic Text, p. 48
It’s human nature to want something for nothing. We may be ecstatic when a store cashier gives us back change for a twenty though we only paid with a ten. We tend to think that, if no one knows, one small deception won’t make any difference. But someone does know—we do. And it does make a difference.
What worked for us when we used frequently doesn’t work long in recovery. As we progress spiritually by working the Twelve Steps, we begin to develop new values and standards. We begin to feel uncomfortable when we take advantage of situations that, when we used, would have left us gloating about what we had gotten away with.
In the past, we may have victimized others. However, as we draw closer to our Higher Power, our values change. God’s will becomes more important than getting away with something.
When our values change, our lives change, too. Guided by an inner knowledge given us by our Higher Power, we want to live out our newfound values. We have internalized our Higher Power’s will for us—in fact, God’s will has become our own true will for ourselves.
Just for today: By improving my conscious contact with God, my values have changed. Today, I will practice God’s will, my own true will.
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Post by joeykins on Mar 30, 2020 9:59:24 GMT -5
March 30
God-centeredness
“Gradually, as we become more God-centered than self-centered, our despair turns to hope.”
Basic Text, p. 95
What a glorious thing to have hope! Before coming to Narcotics Anonymous, many of us lived lives of utter hopelessness. We believed we were destined to die from our disease.
Many members speak of being on a “pink cloud” their first months in the program. We’ve stopped using, made some friends, and life looks promising. Things are going great. Then reality sets in. Life is still life—we still lose jobs, our partners still leave us, friends still die, we still get sick. Abstinence is no guarantee that life will always go our way.
When the reality of life on its own terms sets in, we turn to our Higher Power and remember that life happens the way life happens. But no matter what occurs in our recovery we need not despair, for there is always hope. That hope lies in our relationship with our Higher Power.
This relationship, as expressed by the thought in our text, develops over time: “Gradually, we become more God-centered.” As we rely more and more on the strength of our Higher Power, life’s struggles don’t have to drag us into the sea of despair. As we focus more on God, we focus less on ourselves.
Just for today: I will rely on my Higher Power. I will accept that, regardless of what happens, my Higher Power will provide me with the resources to live with it.
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Post by joeykins on Mar 30, 2020 21:13:35 GMT -5
March 31
Insides and outsides
“Our real value is in being ourselves.”
Basic Text, p. 105
As we work the steps, we’re bound to discover some basic truths about ourselves. The process of uncovering our secrets, exposing them, and searching our characters reveals our true nature. As we become acquainted with ourselves, we’ll need to make a decision to be just who we are.
We may want to take a look at what we present to our fellow addicts and the world and see if it matches up with what we’ve discovered inside. Do we pretend that nothing bothers us when, in truth, we’re very sensitive? Do we cover our insecurities with obnoxious jokes, or do we share our fears with someone? Do we dress like a teenager when we’re approaching forty and are basically conservative?
We may want to take another look at those things which we thought “weren’t us.” Maybe we’ve avoided NA activities because we “don’t like crowds.” Or maybe we have a secret dream of changing careers but have put off taking action because our dream “wasn’t really right” for us. As we attain a new understanding of ourselves, we’ll want to adjust our behavior accordingly. We want to be genuine examples of who we are.
Just for today: I will check my outsides to make sure they match my insides. I will try to act on the growth I have experienced in recovery.
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Post by joeykins on Mar 31, 2020 20:55:00 GMT -5
April 1
Love and addiction
“Some of us first saw the effects of addiction on the people closest to us. We were very dependent on them to carry us through life. We felt angry, disappointed, and hurt when they found other interests, friends, and loved ones.”
Basic Text, p. 7
Addiction affected every area of our lives. Just as we sought the drug that would make everything alright, so we sought people to fix us. We made impossible demands, driving away those who had anything of worth to offer us. Often, the only people left were those who were themselves too needy to be capable of denying our unrealistic expectations. It’s no wonder that we were unable to establish and maintain healthy intimate relationships in our addiction.
Today, in recovery, we’ve stopped expecting drugs to fix us. If we still expect people to fix us, perhaps it’s time to extend our recovery program to our relationships. We begin by admitting we have a problem—that we don’t know the first thing about how to have healthy intimate relationships. We seek out members who’ve had similar problems and have found relief. We talk with them and listen to what they share about this aspect of their recovery. We apply the program to all our affairs, seeking the same kind of freedom in our relationships that we find throughout our recovery.
Just for today: Loving relationships are within my reach. Today, I will examine the effects of addiction on my relationships so that I can begin seeking recovery.
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Post by joeykins on Apr 2, 2020 20:41:08 GMT -5
April 2
Attraction
“Our public image consists of what we have to offer: a successful, proven way of maintaining a drug-free lifestyle.”
Basic Text, p. 75
Yes, we are attracting new members. More and more addicts are finding Narcotics Anonymous. But how do we treat our newest members when they arrive, worn out from their struggles with addiction? Do we reach out to newcomers who are standing by themselves at our meetings, confused and uncertain? Are we willing to give them rides to meetings? Do we still work one-on-one with the addict who suffers? Do we give out our phone numbers? Are we eager to go on a Twelfth Step call, even if it means getting up from our comfortable beds in the middle of the night? Will we work with someone who has a different sexual orientation or is from another culture? Are we generous with the gift of our time?
No doubt we were met with love and acceptance by our fellow addicts. What attracted many of us to Narcotics Anonymous was the feeling that we had finally found a place where we belonged. Are we offering that same sense of belonging to our newer members? We cannot promote Narcotics Anonymous. But when we put principles into action in our lives, we attract newer members to the NA way, just as we were attracted to recovery.
Just for today: I will work with a newcomer. I will remember that I was once a newcomer myself. I will seek to attract others with the same sense of belonging I’ve found in NA.
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Post by joeykins on Apr 2, 2020 20:42:05 GMT -5
April 3
For you alone
“The idea of a spiritual awakening takes many different forms in the different personalities that we find in the fellowship.”
Basic Text, p. 49
Though we all work the same steps, each of us experiences the spiritual awakening resulting from them in our own way. The shape that spiritual awakening takes in our lives will vary, depending on who we are.
For some of us, the spiritual awakening promised in the Twelfth Step will result in a renewed interest in religion or mysticism. Others will awaken to an understanding of the lives of those around them, experiencing empathy perhaps for the first time. Still others will realize that the steps have awakened them to their own moral or ethical principles. Most of us experience our spiritual awakening as a combination of these things, each combination as unique as the individual who’s been awakened.
If there are so many different varieties of spiritual awakenings, how do we know if we’ve truly had one? The Twelfth Step provides us with two signs: We’ve found principles capable of guiding us well, the kind of principles we want to practice in all our affairs. And we’ve begun to care enough about other addicts to freely share with them the experience we’ve had. No matter what the details of our awakenings are like, we all are given the guidance and the love we need to live fulfilling, spiritually oriented lives.
Just for today: Regardless of its particular shape, my spiritual awakening has helped me fill my place in the world with love and life. For that, I am grateful.
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Post by caressa222 on Apr 3, 2020 4:46:49 GMT -5
My spiritual awakening was walking down the hall at the YWCA and hearing a girl who called yourself my unofficially adopted daughter say, I don't want to be like her down the hall. I got to my room and thought. I think she is talking about me. Am I really that bad? I picked up the phone and called the social worker and asked for help. She got me into treatment and was at my one year celebration. She said, Now you are on your own. Only I wasn't alone. I had a strong network of people on who I could call. It is what I call the Fellowship of the Spirit..
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Post by joeykins on Apr 4, 2020 6:59:10 GMT -5
April 4
Guarding our recovery
“Remember that we... are ultimately responsible for our recovery and our decisions.”
Basic Text, p. 103
Most of us will face choices that challenge our recovery. If we find ourselves in extreme physical pain, for example, we will have to decide whether or not we will take medication. We will have to be very honest with ourselves about the severity of our pain, honest with our doctor about our addiction and our recovery, and honest with our sponsor. In the end, however, the decision is ours, for we are the ones who must live with the consequences.
Another common challenge is the choice of attending a party where alcohol will be served. Again, we should consider our own spiritual state. If someone who supports our recovery can attend the event with us, so much the better. However, if we don’t feel up to such a challenge, we should probably decline the invitation. Today, we know that preserving our recovery is more important than saving face.
All such decisions are tough ones, requiring not only our careful consideration but the guidance of our sponsor and complete surrender to a Higher Power. Using all of these resources, we make the best decision we can. Ultimately, however, the decision is ours. Today, we are responsible for our own recovery.
Just for today: When faced with a decision that may challenge my recovery, I will consult all the resources at my disposal before I make my choice.
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Post by joeykins on Apr 5, 2020 4:49:31 GMT -5
April 5
Identification
“Someone finally knew the crazy thoughts that I had and the crazy things I’d done.”
Addicts often feel terminally unique. We’re sure that no one used drugs like we did or had to do the things that we did to get them. Feeling that no one really understands us can keep us from recovery for many years.
But once we come to the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous, we begin to lose that feeling of being “the worst” or “the craziest.” We listen as members share their experiences. We discover that others have walked the same twisted path that we’ve walked and still have been able to find recovery. We begin to believe that recovery is available to us, too.
As we progress in our own recovery, sometimes our thinking is still insane. However, we find that when we share the hard time we may be having, others identify, sharing how they have dealt with such difficulties. No matter how troubled our thinking seems, we find hope when others relate to us, passing along the solutions they’ve found. We begin to believe that we can survive whatever we’re going through to continue on in our recovery.
The gift of Narcotics Anonymous is that we learn we are not alone. We can get clean and stay clean by sharing our experience, our strength, and even our crazy thinking with other members. When we do, we open ourselves to the solutions others have found to the challenges we face.
Just for today: I am grateful that I can identify with others. Today, I will listen as they share their experience, and I’ll share mine with them.
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Post by joeykins on Apr 6, 2020 12:02:06 GMT -5
April 6
Growing honesty
“On a practical level, changes occur because what’s appropriate to one phase of recovery may not be for another.”
Basic Text, p. 105
When we first came to Narcotics Anonymous, many of us had no legitimate occupation. Not all of us suddenly decide we’re going to become honest and productive model citizens the moment we arrive in NA. But we soon find, in recovery, that we are not so comfortable doing many of the things we once did without a second thought when we were using.
As we grow in our recovery, we begin to be honest in matters that probably hadn’t bothered us when we used. We start returning extra change a cashier may have given us by mistake, or admitting when we hit a parked car. We find that if we can begin to be honest in these small ways, the bigger tests of our honesty become much easier to handle.
Many of us came here with very little capacity to be honest. But we find that as we work the Twelve Steps, our lives begin to change. We are no longer comfortable when we benefit at the expense of others. And we can feel good about our newfound honesty.
Just for today: I will examine the level of honesty in my life and see if I’m comfortable with it.
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Post by joeykins on Apr 6, 2020 20:05:30 GMT -5
April 7
The value of the past
“This firsthand experience in all phases of illness and recovery is of unparalleled therapeutic value. We are here to share it freely with any addict who wants to recover.”
Basic Text, p. 10
Most of us came into the program with some serious regrets. We had never finished high school, or we had missed going to college. We had destroyed friendships and marriages. We had lost jobs. And we knew that we couldn’t change any of it. We may have thought that we’d always be regretful and simply have to find a way to live with our regrets.
On the contrary, we find that our past represents an untapped gold mine the first time we are called on to share it with a struggling newcomer. As we listen to someone share their Fifth Step with us, we can give a special form of comfort that no one else could provide—our own experience. We’ve done the same things. We’ve had the same feelings of shame and remorse. We’ve suffered in the ways only an addict can suffer. We can relate—and so can they.
Our past is valuable—in fact, priceless—because we can use all of it to help the addict who still suffers. Our Higher Power can work through us when we share our past. That possibility is why we are here, and its fulfillment is the most important goal we have to accomplish.
Just for today: I no longer regret my past because, with it, I can share with other addicts, perhaps averting the pain or even death of another.
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.