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Post by lildee on Feb 16, 2005 1:30:19 GMT -5
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Post by caressa on Feb 16, 2005 15:00:40 GMT -5
People have questioned this over the years. I had one gentleman get quite upset with me for describing it as a dis-ease. I was at dis-ease within myself, so I went looking outside of myself to make me feel happy, acceptance, validation, self-worth, self-esteem, self-love, and the list goes on.
Whether it was a thing (food, pills and alcohol), a place (my bed, the bar, the Legion, and/or work) and/or person (two husbands, relationships, best friends, and family), I would use them to escape my own reality. I would do anything not to have to face myself and look at me. My attitude towards my husbands was "Preform, make me happy" I thought everything was there for my use and my soul need. I had no concept of the fact that it all had to come from within me. It was about me and my attitude and what I had to change about myself not someone or something else.
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