Step Six

[caressa]

Consider, too, our talents for procrastination, which is really sloth in five syllables. Nearly anyone could submit a good list of such defects as these, and few of us would seriously think of giving them up, at least until they cause us excessive misery. Some people, of course, may conclude that they are indeed ready to have all such defects taken from them. But even these people, if they construct a list of still milder defects, will be obliged to admit that they prefer to hang on to some of them. Therefore, it seems plain that few of us can quickly or easily become ready to aim at spiritual and moral perfection; we want to settle for only as much perfection as will get us by in life, according, of course, to our various and sundry ideas of what will get us by. So the difference between "the boys and the men" is the difference between striving for a self-determined objective and for the perfect objective which is of God.


AA 12 & 12

Perhaps the reason I procrastinated about continuing this step is because I am a self-admitted slothful person who often has the attitude "If I don't see it, it isn't there," which translates into denial.

I am guilty of justifying things and telling myself, they won't go away, they will be there when I get around to it. I could make things so much easier on myself by doing things a little at a time and so often, it is still all or nothing at all. God and I are still working on this one. It is a habit and a learned behavior from my mother. She passed away 47 years ago so I can't still blame her and need to take responsibility for my actions in today.

I like the phrase "aim for spiritual" and that is my goal today. I try not to beat myself up for being less than, I try not to put too high of an expectation on myself, and yet I know to try for less than, then I am not being the person my God would have me be in today. I fall short many times, and that is the next Step. It is about becoming willing. To pray for the willingness to be willing. To not expect perfection but to accept my humanness. Knowing that when I am willing and turn things over to my Higher Power, He is there to help me on this recovery journey.

A good guideline for me was a horroscope book that outlined the characteristics of an Aires person. The postive and the negative were not a good as they once were and some where better and much improved. I didn't feel alone and didn't need to berate myself because I realized that there are a lot of Aires people in the world and I wasn't the only one! I wasn't the only 'sinner' and oh how I highly dislike that word. I am a "Soul In Need" who needs the help of her Higher Power to be come a better person and a living, walking, Child of God worthy of goodness in my life.

[caressa]

Many will at once ask, "How can we accept the entire implication of Step Six? Why--that is perfection!" This sounds like a hard question, but practically speaking, it isn't. Only Step One, where we made the 100 percent admission we were powerless over alcohol, can be practiced with absolute perfection. The remaining eleven Steps state perfect ideals. They are goals toward which we look, and the measuring sticks by which we estimate our progress. Seen in this light, Step Six is still difficult, but not at all impossible. The only urgent thing is that we make a beginning, and keep trying.

AA 12 Steps & Traditions

Love the last line, it affirms my own personal belief. So many people say, do the Steps in order, and in a way we do work them with a sponsor. I went to Step and Big Book meetings in early recovery and through listening to others, I learned about things that I wasn't willing to hold onto until I did the first five Steps. Why continue going around acting out in my disease and being a first class b*tch and an overbearing know-it-all with a holier than thou attitude. I had a really big wall that I had to start taking down. A lot of people thought I was a snob when in fact, I was fearful of letting people get close because I felt like I was the lower of the low and fearful of letting people to get to know me. It was either to put up this loud front or a quiet reserve and shut down and isolate which were things that I knew how to do and were coping skills that no longer served me in sobriety.

As it says here, we work at things piecemeal and as we become aware of them. We make a start and for me, they are always a work in progress. God and I still work on this Step on a continual basis.

As a long-timer shared at a meeting, many times, that he had 13 defects and only 12 lids for each one, therefore one kept raising it's head and making itself known. I think I have shared this previously, I would phone my sponsor and say, "I need to discuss Step Six, my defects of character were glaringly apparent today."

This is a one day at a time program. As it says, I can only take Step One, 100%. When I do that Step thoroughly, I will never have a reason to pick up and use alcohol or any other drug again. As long as I recognize that powerlessness, surrender to the fact and accept it as it is in today, I may find lots of excuses, but no reason to pick up and go back to where I came from, which isn't an option for me.

What my God could do for me in Step One, and made known to me in Step Four, He can help me deal with in Step Six.

To be continued...

[caressa]

If we would gain any real advantage in the use of this Step on problems other than alcohol, we shall need to make a brand new venture into open-mindedness. We shall need to raise our eyes toward perfection, and be ready to walk in that direction. It will seldom matter how haltingly we walk. The only question will be "Are we ready?"

Looking again at those defects we are still unwilling to give up, we ought to erase the hard-and-fast lines that we have drawn. Perhaps we shall be obliged in some cases still to say, "This I cannot give up yet...," but we should not say to ourselves, "This I will never give up!"

AA 12 Steps & Traditions

The fact that they say that this step can be applied to other things, besides alcohol, was very liberating and and gave me a lot of hope. The Steps are a way of life and can be applied to all areas of my life. i.e. My eating disorder and dealing with chronic pain and fatigue. When I opened my mind, to I can't, God can and just for today, I will make the decision to ask Him, a whole new world opened up to me. A new way of thinking, a new way of living, free from depression, fear, anxiety, and hopelessness.

Sometimes, I seem to get into a place where I figure things will never get better, and yet through working the Steps, I know that I am the only one who can make that decision, the only one who can help me is me. The thing I need to remember is that the power doesn't come from me. I have to stop thinking that I am the one that has to control, stop, or change things. It means I have to surrender, turn things over to my Higher Power, and through Him, I am empowered to do what I need to do for myself.

When I think never, I am back living in the fear instead of walking in faith. When I maintain a willingness, a daily conscious contact with my Higher Power, and often a prayer to ask for the willingness to be willing, I can have a new life and a new attitude toward that life.

To be continued....

[caressa]

Let's dispose of what appears to be a hazardous open end we have left. It is suggested that we ought to become entirely willing to aim toward perfection. We note that some delay, however, might be pardoned. That word, in the mind of a rationalizing alcoholic, could certainly be given a long term meaning. He could say, "How very easy! Sure, I'll head toward perfection, but I'm certainly not going to hurry any. Maybe I can postpone dealing with some of my problems indefinitely." Of course, this won't do. Such a bluffing of oneself will have to go the way of many another pleasant rationalization. At the very least, we shall have to come to grips with some of our worst character defects and take action toward their removal as quickly as we can.

The moment we say, "No, never!" our minds close against the grace of God.

Delay is dangerous, and rebellion may be fatal. This is the exact point at which we abandon limited objectives, and move toward God's will for us.

AA 12 Steps & Traditions

My thought reading this is that it is a spiritual program, and that one of the principles is willingness. All I am asked to do is try. The failure comes in the not trying, rather than trying and not getting it right or living up to my expectations. Aiming perfection is a good attitude to take but trying to make it perfect doesn't allow for my humanness. I may do it perfect one time, but the next time, I may not be able to living up to my previous performance. That was a good reason for this addict to beat myself up or to see myself as a failure and not trying again. It is about picking myself up and trying to the best of my ability in today.

It says that a spiritual experience is a change in attitude which allows me to change and bring about recovery.

Justification was one of my biggest defects. One that I had to take to my Higher Power and ask that it be changed. It took me a long time to get here so I had a real thirst for knowledge and I embraced change because I had a desire not to go back to where I had come from.

The moment we say, "No, never!" our minds close against the grace of God.

I am here by the "Grace" of God and I was always grateful because there seemed to be so many people more deserving that I was.

If I get in the habit of saying "No" to God, I set myself up for failure and relapse. The program is suggested, but I have found that there are some darn well betters, or I slip back into old patterns and behaviors.

I can't, God can, just for today I choose to take all things to Him.

[majestyjo]

The moment we say, "No, never!" our minds close against the grace of God.

Delay is dangerous, and rebellion may be fatal. This is the exact point at which we abandon limited objectives, and move toward God's will for us.

AA 12 Steps & Traditions


My thought reading this is that it is a spiritual program, and that one of the principles is willingness. All I am asked to do is try. The failure comes in the not trying, rather than trying and not getting it right or living up to my expectations. Aiming perfection is a good attitude to take but trying to make it perfect doesn't allow for my humanness. I may do it perfect one time, but the next time, I may not be able to living up to my previous performance. That was a good reason for this addict to beat myself up or to see myself as a failure and not trying again. It is about picking myself up and trying to the best of my ability in today.

It says that a spiritual experience is a change in attitude which allows me to change and bring about recovery.

This is part of the study I did on the steps and shared on the site a few years ago. So much about my life, is about changing my attitude. When things seem out of whack, I need to remember the slogan, "Let it begin with me!" It isn't about other people, it is about me and my recovery.

[majestyjo]

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Six - "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."

"This is the Step that separates the men from the boys." So declares a well-loved clergyman who happens to be one of A.A.'s greatest friends. He goes on to explain that any person capable of enough willingness and honesty to try repeatedly Step Six on all his faults--without any reservations whatever--has indeed come a long way spiritually, and is therefore entitled to be called a man who is sincerely trying to grow in the image and likeness of his own Creator.

p. 63

[majestyjo]

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Six - "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."

Of course, the often disputed question of whether God can--and will, under certain conditions--remove defects of character will be answered with a prompt affirmative by almost any A.A. member. To him, this proposition will be no theory at all; it will be just about the largest fact in his life. He will usually offer his proof in a statement like this: "Sure, I was beaten, absolutely licked.

My own willpower just wouldn't work on alcohol. Change of scene, the best efforts of family, friends, doctors, and clergymen got no place with my alcoholism. I simply couldn't stop drinking, and no human being could seem to do the job for me. But when I became willing to clean house and then asked a Higher Power, God as I understood Him, to give me release, my obsession to drink vanished. It was lifted right out of me."

p. 63

[majestyjo]

One More Day

It is easier to confess a defect than to claim a quality.
– Max Beerbohm

It is easy to simply admit our character defects — and then do nothing about them. The difficult part is asking God — however we picture God — to remove our defects and then live with the choices we have made.

We may have apologized to friends, and then added, “but I’ve always been that way.” Or, “I just can’t seem to help it.” We might have used such excuses to avoid looking honestly at ourselves. When we sincerely examine our character defects and have the desire to change, our confessions to others no longer are made with excuses. Instead, we admit our flaws, ask our Higher Power to remove them, and then take responsibility for working toward qualities we admire.

My defects can be changed once I admit them and begin to work on eliminating them.

[majestyjo]

Keep It Simple

We're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.---Step Six
Character defects include being stubborn, feeling self-pity, and wanting to always be in control. We must be ready to give up these defects, or they will hurt us. Being ready is our part of Step Six. Our Higher Power will remove these defects. We don't need to know how. We just need to be ready to give them up when God asks for them. We don't need to know when. We just have to be ready.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, take away my self-pity, fears, anger, and anything else that hurts my recovery.

Help me make room for peace.

Action for the Day: Today, I'll get ready to have my character defects removed. I will list them and ask myself, "What do I get from keeping them?"