Step Seven

[caressa]

During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound result of all was the change in our attitude toward God. And this was true whether we had been believers or unbelievers. We began to get over the idea that the Higher Power was a sort of bush-league pinch hitter, to be called upon only in an emergency. The notion that we would still live our own lives, God helping a little now and then, began to evaporate. Many of us who had thought ourselves religious awoke to the limitations of this attitude. Refusing to place God first, we had deprived ourselves of His help. But now the words "Of myself I am nothing, the Father doeth the works" began to carry bright promise and meaning.

AA 12 Steps & Traditions

Love the last sentence. For me, that is the difference. I stopped playing God with my life and that of others, and looked to find my own understanding of God and make Him personal.

I was brought up in religion and I still became an alcoholic and an addict. So I didn't have much faith in the church. Then I found out that my God is bigger than any church and that I was limiting Him by my limited ideas and concepts. Today, God is all things. I take all things to Him, with the exception of those I forget until I am in a stew and then I remember, oops, forgot to give this one over. I like it that a day can start any time.

It was indeed my attitude. It had to change. I was very anti-religion. I would hear the word SIN and shudder. I thought I was a walking sin, a piece of nothing, totally worthless and unlovable. Today I know I was a SOUL IN NEED looking for something outside of herself to make her feel better. When I turned the direction inward and took the journey from my head to my heart, I began to change. I found God. I found me. And today we travel this recovery road together.

[caressa]

We saw we needn't always be bludgeoned and beaten into humility. It could come quite as much from our voluntary reaching for it as it could from unremitting suffering. A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have. It marked the time when we could commence to see the full implication of Step Seven:" Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

AA 12 & 12

I am reminded of the phrase "Seek and ye shall find." Often when we demand something and think it is our just dessert and our right, we can't seem to quite grasp something or once we had it, we were not satisfied with it and thought it should be more.

I once heard a person say, "If you hear a person say they are humble and have it, you know he doesn't" So thinking I have humility, is an ego trip, but having it to me, is being at one with my God and knowing it is a gift to me and that is there when and if it is needed.

Not sure that makes sense, but it is something that I find is very special. I once had a man say when he was thanking me for speaking and he said, "A lot of humility there." I almost broke into tears. Yet there was a part of me fearful because of what I heard the man say in early recovery. Don't say I am humble, it will make it go away!

Today, I know that I have to ask for the help to remove my short comings. It isn't possible to do it myself. Even when I am diligent, my humanness which I still don't like, comes up to the plate and they can be back as strong as ever if I allow them their rein. Most days I have a good batting average but on other days, my score card does read zero and I need the Master Batter to knock them down and put them and me in my place. Thankfully it isn't done with abuse, but with a loving hand and a kind and gentle word to redirect me to where I need to be.

At one with myself, and those around me. As I have been thinking and what has been coming very much to mind lately, at one with the Universe. My needs are met.

To be continued...

[caressa]

As we approach the actual taking of Step Seven, it might be well if we A.A.'s inquire once more just what our deeper objectives are. Each of us would like to live at peace with himself and with his fellows. We would like to be assured that the grace of God can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. We have seen that character defects based upon shortsighted or unworthy desires are the obstacles that block our path toward these objectives. We now clearly see that we have been making unreasonable demands upon ourselves, upon others, and upon God.

AA 1 & 12

This reminds me that this is not a hurried up affair. I could do what I was capable in early sobriety but again, as I achieved more self-honesty, I was able to see the real me for who I was.

I also saw as it says here how much of a hard task master I could be and would beat myself up over my human traits. Of myself, I can not work this Step. I need the God of my understanding to transform this person I had become into something He would have me be. So many times, I fell short of my own expectations, that of others, and to what I perceived my God would have me be. Again, I was living in the "I" an it is Thy will, not mine be done. Yet in order for that to happen, I have to have the awareness and the acceptance before I can make the admission and turn them over to my Higher Power for what generally boiled down to a change of attitude.

God's Grace led me to the doors of recovery. His Grace continues to work in my life, when I get honest, surrender and accept who I am each day. If I keep an open mind, a willingness to do His will and turn my disease, my defects of character and my shortcoming over to Him, the program will work for me.

All this is needed to make up the whole package. It is also a healing process, and because of that human nature, they can come back again, and have to be turned over once again.

As I have said before, many people think defects of character and shortcomings are the same thing. I see them differently. I see defects as my thoughts and nature; and I see the shortcomings as acting out those thoughts and behaviors. It isn't good to think them but it is even worse to act them out.

To be continued...

[caressa]

The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear--primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone. The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God. The whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility. It is really saying to us that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our other shortcomings just as we did when we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. If that degree of humility could enable us to find the grace by which such a deadly obsession could be banished, then there must be hope of the same result respecting any other problem we could possibly have.

Again, it is the change of attitude. The personality change sufficient to bring about recovery.... It isn't about putting down the drink, but change can't happen unless I do. It is about making changes in my life and asking for help.

To come to a place where I accept that I don't know it all. A place where I can ask for help and not as it says by demanding or making what I want known, but aligning my will with my God's and willing to be taught this new way of living. A willingness to change my thought patterns, old behaviors that stand in the way of being who my God wants me to be, and to let go of anything that jeoprodizes my sobriety.

The following is a definition of humility. Many people have different ideas as to what humilty truly is. I particularly like the word egolessness!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humility

I can't, God can, just for today I choose to let Him. Not just the alcohol and other substances in my life, but my life as a whole!

[caressa]

From Hope For Today:

STEP SEVEN: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

“When I first came to Al-Anon, I struggled daily with never-ending negative emotional responses to life—anger, resentment, and self-pity. I felt trapped by these feelings. I couldn’t detach from them to get perspective because I thought they were part of me, embedded in my nature.

“My sponsor … pointed out several pieces of Al-Anon literature suggesting that emotional responses and short-comings are learned rather than innate. I could almost feel a slight breeze pass between my character defects and me. Maybe my shortcomings were not as bound to me as I had thought. Maybe there was hope I could be free of my self-defeating attitudes.

“I continued working the Steps, and finally came to Step Seven. I humbly asked God to take away my negative outlook. Now when I feel angry or resentful, I stop and “Think.” I examine the thoughts that led to the feeling. Are they based on reality or on old patterns of reacting? When I’m honest with myself, I begin to see anger, resentment, and self-pity as choices I’ve made, not emotions someone made me feel.

“Whatever difficulties I have in recovery, I need to remember that I am not an inherently flawed person. Whatever has been learned can be unlearned

[majestyjo]

7th Step

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Experience has shown, that my character defects, when placed on a sheet of paper before me, are better revealed. On paper, my awareness of them increases. Often the defects that I cling to the most, are the same ones that surface at the most inconvenient occasions.

Set side by side with the opposite of what the defect is, gives me a goal to pray about and work toward. Similar to the recovery from alcohol and drugs, this exposure provides groundwork where a gradual abstinence starts to take root, and in its filter (an antonym), growth can take place, so that I no longer have a desire to repeat them.

It doesn't mean that these defects cover the gamut for me, or any fellow alcoholics in general, but simply implies that these defects are mine, and have been identified as something I no longer chose to have.

As for me personally, I didn't know it at the time, but in the third step, when I made a decision to turn my will and life over to the care of God as I understand Him, I asked for this to happen.

Since I'm only human, and fall short daily, I cannot expect perfection, but when humbly asking God to have the defect removed, and practicing the opposite, a change can occur.

Thus, the following is an interesting exercise, strongly
suggested by a sponsor.

Defects: Practice:
Arrogant Modesty
Bigotry Open mindedness
Condescending Uplifting
Defiant Obedience
Extreme Mild
Fearful Faithful
Grandiose Unpretentious
Hypersensitive Calm
Impatient Serene
Judgmental Reasonable
Klutzy Graceful
Lust Respect
Melodramatic Calculating
Negative Positive
Opinionated Non-controversial
Procrastination Punctual
Quarrelsome Acceptance
Rationalizing Responsible
Sarcasm Forthright
Temperamental Consistent
Unfocused Focused
Volatile Quiet
White-washable Honest
Xenophobic Tolerant
Yammering Serious
Zealot Compassionate

For me, Humility is an exclusive, and an all-inclusive, self-admission of knowing that I don't know, combined with a willingness and a yearning for that which is unknown. The unknown for me is the reversal of what I've always done.

Writing it down, and thinking about going in a different direction, is a process that allows me the opportunity to change my perspective on perfection. And letting go of shortcomings reveal flaws through which my imperfections are realized.

Original source unknown