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Post by majestyjo on Oct 7, 2017 0:03:52 GMT -5
October 4
I like not only to be loved, but also to be told that I am loved . . . the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave.
--George Eliot
We've all heard many times that we must love ourselves if we're ever to love another. Too often we mistakenly think that means we shouldn't need to hear someone's affirmation of love. That assumption is wrong. Praise from others builds our self-confidence, keeps us on track, aware of how we're presenting ourselves moment by moment.
But many of us didn't develop healthy egos in our youth because we didn't get feedback that affirmed us. We didn't hear we were loved. As adults, we're scrambling to feel confident, to feel sure of our direction and our value to society. And we're hoping to hear we're loved. We can be certain someone close will be helped by hearing our words of love.
There's no time like the present for sharing love.
You are reading from the book:
Worthy of Love by Karen Casey
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 7, 2017 0:04:20 GMT -5
October 5
Children do not know how their parents love them, and they never will till the grave closes over those parents, or till they have children of their own.
--Edmund Vance Cooks
As adults, we may feel we were cheated out of a "normal" childhood because of our parents' emotional, physical, or spiritual failings. We may think they should never be forgiven for their actions or inactions when we were young.
Yet imagine what our lives would be like today if we did not forgive. We would be bitter, stomping angrily through life with a clipboard in hand, ready to write down the name of the next person who crosses us. It's time to throw away the clipboard and the names on it - including the names of our parents.
The program teaches us to love those who come into our lives, even if we don't like them. It teaches us forgiveness through our Higher Power. We do not have to like our parents, but we can love them. By the same token, we need to realize our parents love us in their special way. They aren't perfect - and neither are we.
Help me remember my parents did the best they could with what they had. That's all anyone can really do.
You are reading from the book:
Night Light by Amy E. Dean
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 7, 2017 0:06:47 GMT -5
October 6
The Four "A's"
Dear God, I have learned to live within my limitations and to live up to my capacities as I grow in recovery. As I try to practice the principles of our Program, I will accept the truth that I seek progress and not spiritual perfection. I pray to admit my limitations and remind myself I am only human. I have quit trying to play God.
When I take my inventory and remember the Four "A's" - Acceptance, Awareness, Action, and Attitude – I continue learning to live within my limitations and to live up to my capabilities.
You are reading from the book:
The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.
__________________
They have 4 As, I was taught 5. Awareness, Admittance Acceptance, Attitude, Action. I put attitude before action, because I generally have to change my attitude in order to take action. Although I do have to admit, than I often have to take action to change my attitude.
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 7, 2017 22:00:28 GMT -5
October 7
Flowers, Not Weeds
When addiction took hold of my son, it grew and spread like a thick, thorny vine, twisting and turning and choking him tight. But it didn't stop there. It kept right on creeping. It crept and crawled its way into my mind, making me sick too. In an Alice in Wonderland kind of way, my sickness is a distorted reflection of his sickness. How sick is that?
I faded, I weakened. I lost my sense of self. Blamed, judged, and berated, I became consumed by the guilt and negative thoughts heaped on me by both myself and others. My common sense and rational thought became warped.
The truth is, negative thoughts and negative people can't take root in my life if I don't let them. My life is like a garden-what grows here is in my control. Unwelcome seeds may drift in on the wind, and renegade runners may sneak in under the fence, but I can pull out the things I don't want in order to make room for the flowers.
Stop watering the weeds in your life and start watering the flowers.
Anonymous
You are reading from the book:
Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 8, 2017 22:27:40 GMT -5
October 8
Listening and Sharing
"I've found that many of my painful experiences with others are the result of past memories," stated a friend.
"Often I'm not reacting so much to what is going on between me and another person right at the time; I'm responding to some previous wound or hurt from my past that hasn't quite healed. Let me give you an example of what I mean.
"Just the other day, a friend of mine said she needed some time to herself and didn't want to see me for a week. Well, rather than accept her statement, I was hurt. I immediately thought of a past friendship I had helped destroy by being too possessive and demanding. I thought I was making the same mistake again and that my present girl friend was trying to get rid of me, too. I felt so defeated I couldn't respond. I just sat there stunned and tried not to cry.
"My friend was uncomfortable with my change in attitude, but since I wasn't able to communicate what I was feeling, she left feeling at loose ends, too."
"Thank goodness I had enough sense to call her and share my unsettling feelings a day or two after that experience. I found my friend wasn't rejecting me at all. She really did need some time to herself."
Today I will not allow past, painful memories to cripple my current relationships. When I am hurt or confused, I will talk out my feelings and reactions before I make harsh criticisms or assume another's motives.
You are reading from the book:
The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes
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Post by caressa222 on Oct 8, 2017 23:43:35 GMT -5
Just wanting to note that this says Principles over personalities. One fellowship says before and another one say above. Which ever way you look at it, it is about the Spiritual Principles of the program that are important.
Remember to take your QTIP (Quit Taking It Person) with you and personalities won't bother you as much. It isn't always about you, even though we often think it is. They are talking about me, they are laughing at me, when in fact, they may not have even seen us walk into the room, let alone seen what we were wearing.
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 9, 2017 19:18:21 GMT -5
October 9
I would be honest, for there are those who trust me.
--Howard Arnold Walter
Some of those around us seem to see only the good in us. They trust and respect us, even when we ourselves may not feel we deserve it.
A young girl once talked about her grandfather. She said, "He was the only person in my life who saw the good in me." She mentioned that she sought to please her grandfather and not disappoint the trust which he placed in her. He brought out the best in her because of the way that he looked at her. Each of us can be like this grandfather by focusing on the good in other people. We can use our spiritual eyes to see love, honesty, trustworthiness, and unselfishness in the heart of another. As we look for the good, we are doing our part to help create it.
Do I see the good in those around me right now?
You are reading from the book:
Today's Gift by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 11, 2017 7:07:43 GMT -5
October 10
I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure - try to please everybody.
--Herbert Bayard Swope
Principles are rules or codes of conduct we set for ourselves; like being honest, striving to be on time, and taking responsibility for bills and expenses. It is up to us to abide by these principles.
When we compromise a principle for someone else's benefit, we jeopardize the strength of that principle and its importance to us. If we want to be honest, then lying to cover up another's actions compromises that principle. If we want to be on time and someone makes demands that cause us to arrive late, we have compromised ourselves and let someone else's desire dominate.
We need to set certain standards for ourselves and abide by them, even if another person will not be pleased. To let principles trump over the demands and desires of another is a victory for our inner peace. If we are true to ourselves, we will learn we can count on ourselves no matter what.
Is anyone making demands upon my principles? Help me be true to myself and not make compromises I will regret.
You are reading from the book:
Night Light by Amy E. Dean
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 11, 2017 7:08:13 GMT -5
October 11
Becoming forgiving
The lack of a forgiving spirit hurts our spiritual progress. Being unforgiving causes resentment, which is always a danger to our new way of life.
We have learned that if we forgive, we will be forgiven; but if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. So it seems we are just hurting ourselves by not forgiving others.
Am I forgiving?
Higher Power, help me forgive each person I need to forgive today.
You are reading from the book:
Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 12, 2017 18:41:57 GMT -5
October 12
Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you.
--Madeline Bridges
Sometimes we feel lazy or bored, and then we don't do our best work. Perhaps we are daydreaming instead of listening closely to what a friend is trying to tell us. When we are not really paying attention to our activities or the people around us, we'll likely miss out on something important because we do receive in equal measure what we give. And this truth works in every aspect of our lives.
When we treat our friends, our families, even people we don't know well with kindness, we'll experience kindness in return. Our own actions and attitudes toward others are what we can expect from others as well.
You are reading from the book:
Today's Gift by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 13, 2017 21:29:05 GMT -5
October 13
I had an easy life growing up. I was not serious, and I'm trying to make up for it now.
-- Tom Harding
How we define an easy life may differ because everything is relative. Some of us were raised in prosperous homes, which might have meant we weren't required to seek work or do chores around the house. But that kind of privilege didn't guarantee an easy life. Wealth doesn't eliminate the possibility for abuse of many forms.
To some, the easy life simply means there was little stress, few problems to contend with. Parents were supportive; school work came easy; friends really cared about us. Maybe we feel lucky if that's how our lives evolved, or maybe we are like Tom and feel now that we need to make up for our lives of privilege. Let's seek the counsel of others if that's the case. It's okay to have had the easy route. That doesn't mean we have to pay for it now.
The important element is that we spend the present however we really want to. If we want to be more serious, that's acceptable. If we want to be lazy, that's okay too. If we want to have a positive impact on someone else's life, perhaps someone who had a harder life than we experienced, that's admirable, but not necessary. No one is grading us.
Today I'm free. The past isn't of concern unless I make it so.
You are reading from the book:
Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 14, 2017 19:23:12 GMT -5
October 14
Where Love and Addiction Meet
The first time my child reached his dimpled little hand out for mine, I was there. And I've tried to be there every time he's reached out to me-and even when he hasn't-ever since. Until, that is, my child became an addict. Addiction has made such a mess of things that I'm no longer sure if I should be within range when he reaches out (or even when he doesn't).
I don't know if my help is hurting this child of mine. I don't know if I should stay silent or speak up. I'm not sure how to love without doing the things that seem loving, or where to put the dreams and conversations and hugs that have gone unused and are piling up. I don't know how to fill my empty arms, or where to put my love for this child who says he hates me. My heart doesn't understand this place where love and addiction meet-it's all confused about what it means to be my son's mom.
I cannot be there for my child in the way life intended, but my love will always be there whenever he reaches out-and even when he doesn't.
I mean, it is the most impossible love . . . it's absolutely fine for me to teach you how to walk and talk, and then you grow up and you head off in the wrong direction toward a cliff. And I'm supposed to just stand there and wave.
Because I Said So
You are reading from the book:
Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 15, 2017 5:43:50 GMT -5
October 15
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly....
--Antoine de Saint Exupery
If we look at the world through suspicious or angry eyes, we'll find a world that mirrors our expectations -- a world where tension will mount, arguments will abound, strife will be present where none need be. However, our experiences in some manner bless us, and we'll recognize that if we look upon them with gratitude. Everything in our path is meant for our good and we'll see the good when our hearts act as the eyes for our minds.
When we see with our hearts, our responses to the turmoil around us, the fighting children, the traffic snarls, the angry lovers, will be soft acceptance. When our hearts guide the action we can accept those things we cannot change, and change those we can. And the heart, as the seat of all wisdom, will always know the difference.
You are reading from the book:
Worthy of Love by Karen Casey
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 16, 2017 16:38:52 GMT -5
October 16
Self-Help or Mutual Aid?
Assisting Others
The Twelve Step movement is sometimes called a self-help program. This falls short of describing what it really is. Mutual aid might be a better term.
Self-help implies that an individual will help himself or herself. Mutual aid is a much different sort of thing. With mutual aid, we do help ourselves, but we have found that the best way to do this is by helping each other. Self-help says, "I can do it," whereas mutual aid says, "We can do it."
We should not dismiss the idea of self-help or of doing one's best in achieving self-improvement. We must know, however, that we need the assistance and loving help of others for our highest growth. There are times when we will feel helpless and alone. That's when mutual aid will carry the day for us and perhaps even save our lives.
I'll realize today that I have a bond with others, and that I can achieve my highest good only in mutual service with them.
You are reading from the book:
Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 17, 2017 21:14:49 GMT -5
October 17
Reflection for the Day
"When a man has reached a condition in which he believes that a thing must happen when he does not wish it, and that what he wishes to happen never will be, this is really the state called desperation," wrote Arthur Schopenhauer. The very real pain of emotional difficulties is sometimes very hard to take while we're trying to maintain sobriety. Yet we learn, in time, that overcoming such problems is the real test of the Program's way of living. Do I believe that adversity gives me more opportunity to grow than does comfort or success?
Today I Pray
May I believe firmly that God, in God's infinite wisdom, does not send me those occasional moments of emotional stress in order to tease my sobriety, but to challenge me to grow in my control and my conviction. May I learn not to be afraid of emotional summits and canyons for the Program has outfitted me for all kinds of terrain.
Today I will remember strength through adversity.
You are reading from the book:
A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 18, 2017 21:05:16 GMT -5
October 18
The feeling of belonging is a gift.
The feeling of belonging - knowing that we have a place - is one of the most important gifts that two partners can give to each other. When we agree to commit ourselves to a partnership, we give each other the key to our daily lives. We allow our mate to be there with us in a way we would not let others. That means that we can expect to have a place that does not have to be renegotiated every day. This feeling of belonging is a gift, but it must be received. In essence, we say to our partner, "I take my place here in your life because we have our relationship. I will relax. I don't stand at the door and knock. We have already told each other that we are included in each other's lives."
This sense of belonging stands in sharp contrast to those feelings of isolation and alienation that we can feel in so many ways. It does not mean that one partner owns the other or that no boundary or separateness exists. But the joy of connection frees people in relationships to fulfill themselves and carry on their lives while in the close comfort of one they love.
Tell your partner how you know you have a place in her or his life.
You are reading from the book:
The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 19, 2017 22:36:38 GMT -5
October 19
It's easy to look at all the tasks and unsolved problems and feel so pressured that we get paralyzed and don't get anything done. It takes discipline to gather in our scattered forces and focus on one thing, one day, one step, and sometimes one hour – even when taking only that one step can seem so trivial in the face of all that looms.
Inventory Focus:
Are you creating unnecessary fear and drama by taking on more than you handle? Are you willing to trade in the I'm-out-of-control-and-overwhelmed feeling for a sense of manageability? Do you have any history with deliberately living life one day or one step at a time? How did that work?
Plans, goals, and dreams are good, but the only way to get there is one day at a time.
You are reading from the book:
52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 20, 2017 20:52:57 GMT -5
October 20
Self-Seeking Slips Away
Today, God, help me remember that not everything is about me.
When I was using, thinking of myself was my whole existence. With abstinence, I began to practice understanding, humility, gratitude, caring, and sharing with others.
By having faith in our Program's recovery Steps and their other-centeredness focus, I am reminded that I am a person who truly needs other people.
You are reading from the book:
The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 21, 2017 21:16:06 GMT -5
October 21
This Mouse must give up one of the Mouse ways of seeing things in order that he may grow.
--Hyemeyohsts Storm
There is an American Indian tale of a mouse who heard a roaring in his ears and set out to discover what it was. He encountered many animals who helped him on his way. Finally, the mouse had a chance to offer help to another. He gave away his eyes to help two other animals.
Without his sight, defenseless, he waited for the end. Soon he heard the sound eagles make when they dive for their prey. The next thing the mouse knew, he was flying. He could see all the splendor around him. Then he heard a voice say, "You have a new name. You are Eagle."
Like the mouse, we also feel something inside us we'd like to explore. That secret, like all others, has its answer hidden deep within us, yet right under our very nose. Often, we merely have to give up our eyes and see in a different way. When we do this, we are rewarded with a new kind of vision, one that lets us discover our true potential.
You are reading from the book:
Today's Gift by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Oct 22, 2017 22:12:37 GMT -5
October 22
When one knows Thee, then alien there is none, then no door is shut. Oh, grant me my prayer that I may never lose the touch of the one in the play of many.
--Rabindranath Tagore
When we make a person-to-person telephone call, we want to be connected with one particular person. If that person is not in, we make no connection.
Are we taking time to make person-to-person connections? Or are we seeking situations with groups of people so we don't have to be open and honest with just one person? We all need at least one person with whom to share confidences, laughter, tears, hugs, plans, and dreams. If we don't have this special person, we are like one bird in a nest: safe and warm, but isolated and alone.
We can attend a meeting every night and still be isolated and alone. Being around people doesn't necessarily mean we're making connections with them. To truly share ourselves, we need to open the doors to our lives and let at least one person in. Just one person can make the difference between isolation and connection.
I need to connect with a special friend. How can I open the door to this one person?
You are reading from the book:
Night Light by Amy E. Dean
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.