GOOD TH0UGHTS FOR THE DAY

[majestyjo]

December 2

Self-esteem comes from doing esteemable acts.

I once had a beautiful plant. It sat on my dining room table for three weeks as I waited for it to blossom. Each week, I waited for something to happen. By week three, instead of a luscious blooming bush, what revealed itself was a dry, shriveled piece of nothing.

I stormed angrily into the florist's shop and demanded an explanation for why my plant had died. Puzzled, yet relatively calm, the florist asked, "Did you do everything, I told you to do?"

"Absolutely! I waited for three weeks just like you said. I just waited, and now my plant is dead."

Scratching his head in wonderment, he asked, "Did you also water the plant every three days? Did you feed it the plant food I gave you? Did you keep it out of direct sunlight? Tell me, what did you do?"

"I didn't water it, because it didn't look like it needed it. I lost the food you gave me, and I didn't have time to get more. And I thought you said to keep it in direct sunlight. I waited for three weeks before calling you because I figured it would be okay, I thought if I let go and let God, the plant would eventually bloom."

How easy it is to mistakenly believe that "let go and let God," means to sit back and do nothing. Our words may not speak it, but our behavior says, "If we just wait, God will provide and good things will happen without our having to do anything."

When we're disrespectful of others, it is easy to think that our behavior is an indication of power and self-esteem. On the contrary, it suggests that we care little about ourselves, because we care little about others, For years, I had many excuses for bad behavior: My behavior at the florist's shop was inappropriate. That was no way to speak to anyone. Eventually I went back and made amends for how I spoke to the florist. Self-esteem comes from doing esteemable acts.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts by Francine Ward

[majestyjo]

December 3

The handwriting on the wall may be a forgery.
--Ralph Hodgson

Too often we are superstitious and interpret signs in negative or hostile ways. Because we don't believe in ourselves, we tend to think that fate is against us.

But life isn't for us or against us. If we are attentive, we will see many signs of promise during each day. Signs of promise, signs of goodness, signs of beauty. And if we trust ourselves and our Higher Power, we will know how to interpret the world and use it to do good.

Sometimes we may be unsure of our next step or even our general direction. If we are patient and alert to the world around us, we will pick up hints and clues that will help us on our way -- a friend's telephone call, a warm hug, a chance encounter, a job offer, a word of advice from a loved one. When we are ready, we'll know how to respond and what to do.

One thing we are learning to be sure of -- in this world of signs, we are not alone.

I don't want to believe in a hostile fate. The world is good and I am finding my way in it by being patient and learning to read the signs.

You are reading from the book:

Answers in the Heart by Anonymous

[majestyjo]

December 4

No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.
--Charles P. Steinmetz

We often pass up the chance to ask a question of someone because we don't want to feel stupid. In the past, we kept very busy trying to look like we were in control; trying to seem as though we already knew what we needed to know. Now, in our new awareness that we can't live life alone, there is much we need to ask. We can learn a lot from children in this area. They are so wonderfully free of inhibitions when it comes to asking questions, and as a result, they learn. Their world expands.

We understand ourselves and others better when we ask questions, when we seek out new knowledge. We haven't experienced, studied, read about, or heard everything there is to know, so we have many questions, especially in the area of recovery. Now we know we can go ahead and ask, that it's okay, that the answer may help improve the quality of our lives. The more we search, the more we will learn, and the more serenity we will find. Like children, our minds are hungry for knowledge.

Today help me ask questions, without worrying about looking foolish, and respond to questions in the most helpful way I can.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

[majestyjo]

December 5

To practice five things under all circumstances constitutes perfect virtue; these five are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.
--Confucius

Some of us were raised to decline generosity - to argue over who pays the restaurant bill, not to accept money for helping someone out, not to accept food or drink at someone's home. Some of these beliefs have strong cultural ties. Others are just a fear of imposing. We don't want to be a bother.

Generosity is a two-way street. It's just as important for someone to be generous as it is to accept the offerings. Most of us like to be generous. When we're being genuine, from the heart, with no strings attached, being generous makes us feel good -- it makes us feel great. We have no reason to deny others that feeling (unless, of course, there are strings attached). In fact, our own generosity is probably just coming back to us.

Today I will allow others the opportunity to be generous.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

[majestyjo]

December 6

Being true

We believe we can become beautiful people, free of addiction. With belief in a Power greater than ourselves, our Twelve Step program, and the fellowship, we don't have to stay where we were. Our purpose in life is to stay sober and clean.

Our Higher Power knows our true purpose in life and will help us. Our Higher Power knows what we are capable of becoming, although others may misjudge us.

Am I staying true to my purpose?

I pray that I may see the good within me and remain true to my purpose.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

[majestyjo]

December 7

The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live.
--Mortimer Adler

In some areas of our lives we are right on target. Our level of maturity is exactly as it should be, and we are going through the stages that people of our age ought to be going through. In other areas, this is not so. We are complex people, irregular, uneven. In all of us there are areas fixated in some emotional ice age, areas that have not felt the freeing warmth of the sun.

We cannot expect ourselves to move forward all at once. Not only is it okay to move slowly - it's often the only way it can be. Confusion, conflict, or pain may have caused us to let our memories or feelings be frozen safely away. This has been a long process, and we can allow ourselves more time to heal. The task now is not to deny or hide from these changes, but to have confidence that the healing warmth of the program will reflect on all areas of our lives and help make us whole.

I am thankful I am given both time and patience in which to continue my growth.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

[majestyjo]

December 8

The cut worm forgives the plow.
--William Blake

Would anyone believe that rain abuses grass, or accuse roots, hungry for a better hold on life, of digging too far into earth's flesh? Look closely at the small world of busy life overturned in the garden each spring. No ant there curses another bug, and no worm curses itself. Though they can neither speak nor think, even small creatures know enough to accept their pain as a natural part of life.

Why, then, should we waste time blaming others, or ourselves, for the natural sensations of life?

In the process of new growth, can we expect no pain?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

[majestyjo]

December 9

Optimism

What I think about surrounds me. What I allow to be entertained in my mind becomes a reality. If I think negatively, I will attract negativity in my life. On the other hand, if I concentrate on developing positive thoughts, I will attract positive people and events to my life. My potential will be increased.

I cannot control what thoughts come into my mind, but I can control my perception and reaction to them.

I pray that I may be filled with positive thoughts today; I deserve the resulting rewards.

You are reading from the book:

Help for Helpers by Anonymous

[majestyjo]

December 10

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.
--George Bernard Shaw

It's easy to let circumstances determine how we think and behave. While it's true that some events seem devastating, our relationship with a Higher Power can help us accept and even grow from experiences that seem impossible to cope with.

We all have known men and women who've handled grave upsets far more easily than we have. How did they do it? They have no magic. Rather, they may be more comfortable letting their Higher Power help them accept and understand unfortunate circumstances. Once we accept our anger or disappointment, we're free to move on to better feelings. We begin to realize we have choices in how we look at problems.

We are never given more than we can handle. We can develop acceptance of any circumstances, but our success in doing so comes mainly through our reliance on God to show us the way.

God will help me handle the uncontrollable events of today. Through acceptance, I can change my feelings at any moment - even right now.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

[majestyjo]

December 11

It is important that we plan for the future, imperative that we accept an outcome unplanned.
-- Molly McDonald

We sometimes feel confused over how to live just one day at a time while making strategic plans for the future. It seems contradictory to try to do both. Yet that is what a healthy recovery means.

Goals help direct our attention. They give us needed focus. They give us enthusiasm for making the most of our recovery. But just as we need goals to strengthen our resolve to move forward, we need willingness to let God be involved in our effort and, even more important, in charge of the outcome. God's role and ours, though related, are in fact quite separate. In our rush to move forward we sometimes forget to turn over the reins when our part is done.

We are learning the joys of living one day at a time. We are letting God be responsible for the outcomes of our endeavors. Each day in recovery gives us more time to practice doing only what we need to do and leaving the rest in God's hands.

I must let God take charge of the outcomes of my efforts today. If I do, I will be cared for in the most loving fashion.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

[majestyjo]

December 12

Pity is the deadliest feeling that can be offered to a woman.
--Vicki Baum

We must move forward with confidence, trusting that the strength we need will be given us, having faith in our visions to guide us. Problems need not daunt us. Rather, they can spur us on to more creative activity. They challenge our capabilities. They insist that we not stand still.

Pity from others fosters inaction, and passivity invites death of the soul. Instead, our will to live is quickened through others' encouragement. All else dampens the will. Pity feeds the self-pity that rings the death knell.

We can give strokes wherever we are today and know that we are helping someone live. And each time we reach out to encourage another, we are breathing new life into ourselves, new life that holds at bay the self-pity that may appear at any moment.

We can serve one another best, never by commiserating with sadnesses, but by celebrating life's challenges. They offer the opportunities necessary to our continued growth.

Someone needs a word of encouragement from me. I will brighten their vision of the future.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

[majestyjo]

December 13

How will you dream if you don't sleep?
How will you hear yourself?
--Michael Dorris

Sleep is a wonderful gift in our lives. For eight hours, we rest our bodies. We let the thoughts, feelings, and events of our lives tumble through our sleeping minds as they sort themselves through our dreams.

But dreams are not always happy. Some of us are afraid to sleep. Our dreams scare us. We may dream about using again or about bad things that happened. But we shouldn't let our dreams fool us. They are not reality. They are just feelings, thoughts, and memories working themselves out. In early recovery, there are a lot of things to sort out.

We create the reality of our lives by the choices we make when we are awake: how much we trust in our Higher Power, how we care of ourselves, how we treat others, how we work our program.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me listen to the messages of my dreams. Help me understand that my dreams will get better as my life gets better.

Today's Action

I will listen to my dreams. What is my mind working out in my sleep? If I remember my dreams, I will talk about them with my friends.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

[majestyjo]

December 14

You are the hero of your life.

Each of us plays the starring role in the drama that is our life. We co-create the script, along with our Higher Power. Sometimes we forget our lines, and so we improvise as best we can. We are heroes, each of us, as we move through the events of the day, refining our character and using our gifts to shape the action of every scene.

We can each be a hero in the drama of recovery. To the casual observer, what we do and say may not appear to be at all heroic. But we - as insiders who are only too well acquainted with our individual limitations - can appreciate and applaud a difficult decision or action.

When we accept our role in life, when we pledge to use our energies to do the best we can, and when we rely on our Higher Power for guidance and support, we will be well on our way toward recovering.

I can be a hero today, even if it doesn't show.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

[majestyjo]

December 15

Say when it's time to do that difficult thing.

Sometimes, true windows of opportunity open in our lives. We get a chance to make that amend. The perfect time to end or resolve that relationship arises. It's like a gift from God when that window opens up. All we need to do is gently step through. But sometimes, we need to help God open the window - especially when we're working up the courage to do a difficult thing.

Maybe we're waiting for just the right moment to end a relationship. Maybe we're looking for an opportunity to make amends, tell someone we're sorry about something we've done that's caused that person pain. Maybe we have a new project we'd like to begin. Sometimes, we can passively wait, and wait, and that window just seems painted shut and stuck.

Ask God to help open the window, but do your part, too. Make a decision that you're going to do it - whatever it is. Then let go, but not too long. Remember your decision. Remember your commitment to opening that window. Don't force it, but focus your attention. You may begin to feel the slightest crack in the energy, that opening you need. Or you may have to wiggle the window frame, push on it just the slightest bit, to crack it open yourself. Then you'll see it. You'll feel it move. There. It's open.

Help God open that window in your life by deciding to do it.

God, help me remember that the time doesn't always feel right. Help me honor my deepest urges to do what I must to take care of myself.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

[majestyjo]

December 16

What if?

I was talking to a friend one day about something I planned to do. Actually, I was worrying about how one particular person might react to what I intended to do.

"What if he doesn't handle it very well?" I asked.

"Then," my friend replied, "you're going to have to handle it well."

What ifs can make us crazy. They put control over our life in someone else's hands. What ifs are a sign that we have reverted to thinking that people have to react in a particular way for us to continue on our course.

What ifs are also a clue that we may be wondering whether we can trust ourselves and our Higher Power to do what's best for us. These are shreds of codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, and they signal fear.

The reactions, feelings, likes or dislikes of others don't have to control our behaviors, feelings, and direction. We don't need to control how others react to our choices. We can trust ourselves, with help from a Higher Power, to handle any outcome - even the most uncomfortable. And, my friend, we can trust ourselves to handle it well.

Today, I will not worry about other people's reactions or events outside of my control. Instead, I will focus on my reactions. I will handle my life well today and trust that, tomorrow, I can do the same.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

[majestyjo]

December 17

Our awesome responsibility to ourselves, to our children, and to the future is to create ourselves in the image of goodness, because the future depends on the nobility of our imaginings.
--Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

The world we live in depends on the responsible contributions each of us makes. And this world is just as good as are the many talents we commit ourselves to developing and offering. None of us is without obligation to offer our best to our family, friends, or strangers, if our hope is to live in a good world. The world can only be as good as each of us makes it.

Individually and collectively our power to mold the outer circumstances of our lives is profound. Our personal responses to one another and our reactions to events that touch us combine with the actions of others to create a changed environment that affects us. No action, no thought goes unnoticed, unfelt, in this interdependent system of humanity. We share this universe. We are the force behind all that the universe offers.

Whether I acknowledge the depth of my contribution is irrelevant. It is still profound and making an impact every moment and eternally.


You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

[majestyjo]

December 18

How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
--Marcus Aurelius

Anger shatters our calm. Some of us show it in loud bursts; others just quietly stew. Sometimes we feel angry inside but we still want to look kind and unperturbed, so our anger comes out sideways, hurting someone indirectly or in sneaky ways. We all have felt the pangs of regret after we said or did something in anger. We wish we could magically turn back the clock and undo the moment, gather up the pieces, and put them back together again.

No one can simply banish the basic human emotion of anger from his life. To be responsible, we must accept our anger. It arises from within us and handling it is our own responsibility, even when we are perfectly justified in feeling angry. We choose our way to express it. It is never responsible to say, "You made me angry, so it's your fault that I blew up."

After accepting our anger we strive to develop a space between the feeling and our actions. We learn to notice our feelings before they reach the explosion point. In that mental space we choose how to express them.

Today I will notice and accept my anger, than choose respectful ways to express it.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

[majestyjo]

December 19

Reflection for the Day

There is no advantage, no profit and certainly no growth when I deceive myself merely to escape the consequences of my own mistakes. When I realize this, I know I'll be making progress. "We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us," wrote Thomas Merton in No Man Is an Island. "But we make ourselves true inside by manifesting the truth as we see it." Am I true to myself?

Today I Pray

May I count on my Higher Power to help me carry out the truth as I see it. May I never duck a consequence again. Consequence ducking became a parlor game for chemically addictive persons like me, until we lost all sense of relationship between action and outcome. Now that I am healing, please God, restore my balance.

Today I Will Remember

Match the act with the consequence.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

[majestyjo]

December 20

Listening well

Learning to really listen to another human being - beyond just his or her words - is critical to good communication. Valuable exchanges between human beings can occur only when each listens carefully to the other and tries sincerely to understand the other person's meaning. Much anger and frustration with others could be avoided if we truly understood one another.

Constant thoughts running through our minds is a form of talking, and we can't listen to another (including our Higher Power) if we are still talking.

Do I really listen?

Higher Power, help me be quiet enough within to listen to others today. By trying to understand another, let me learn something about myself.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

[majestyjo]

December 21

Nice guys finish last.
--Leo Durocher

Some of us are habitually victims, doormats, and "poor things." No matter what, we never say no. The more we practice being nice guys the less able we are to cope creatively. We place the blame, along with the responsibility, elsewhere.

Darlene modeled this for all of us at a recent meeting. She is well past fifty and has been divorced for twenty years. Yet she is still seeking sympathy for what her husband - and God -did to her. Twenty-five years ago she inherited fifty thousand dollars from her parents' estate. Bit by bit, as she said, her alcoholic husband spent it all. It wasn't that she gave it to him or failed to manage it herself, she explained. What happened was that he "just spent it all up. How could he do that?" The obvious, healthier question never occurred to her: How could she allow a sick person to eat up a small fortune?

The moral of the story is that being "too nice" isn't our problem.

Today, I will search my conscience for evidence of irresponsibility that I may have been filing under other names.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty