Discipline/Undisciplined

[caressa]

A little late to be posting this, but better late than never they say.

This is something I am trying to work on to put some structure back into my life so I can let go of some of the clutter of things I need to let go of, things I need to detach from, habits that need to be reformed.

I have always been a person who tends to bend if not break rules to fit the occasion and tend to ignore and hope things will go away if I ignore them or put them on a shelf until such a time as I feel up to 'dealing' with them. The shelves need dusting, the piles are too big too ignore, and some of my habits are keeping me from living a responsible life.

Thanks for letting me share.

[~graced~]

Yep, better late than never. Thanks for posting this one, Caressa. I probably needed to inventory this one after my 15 hour day at the worksite....and it was a longggg day! LOL

I'm fairly disciplined in my life. For a gal who absolutely HATED structure and absolutely hated ANYthing that was planned, I've certainly turned this one completely around. I know what I'll do upon awakening. I know what I'm to do during the course of the day. I know the questions to ask myself at the close of the day. I know what prayers to be saying. I know which meeting on which night and I know when to ring whom, when I meet with each of the pigeons and what step we're working with. I am one disciplined gal. And it only took a huge 2x4 to get me here...LOL

I had a sponsor who checked to see if I did that daily reading, who picked me up and drove me home from meetings, who had a time that I was to ring him, who had days of the week that we'd be having dinner/a meeting at his house, who gave me written work from the Big Book to do, who roped me in and not only gave me the disciplines but the accountability to use them.

And today, I do them freely cuz it's a way of life. Honestly, things get a bit off kilter if I skip something. And I skipped this morning--which probably accounts for being a bit 'off' during the course of my day.

LOL When I'm slipping into the bathroom, locking myself in there and hitting my knees to surrender before I give myself permission to be unkind cuz I WANNA be--I'm NOT centered in the disciplines and I'm off the beam.

I'm now home, checking in with things that really do keep me where I need to be--awaiting that tenth step that's my nightly routine.
And if you woulda told me back some 30 years ago that doing that daily reading and medication would make THIS amount of difference during the course of the day, I woulda laughed you out of the room. Fact is, I'm darn sure I DID...LOL

Bless the disciplines in the program--cuz they keep me where I need to be in order to do what it is that G-d wants for me to be doing on a daily basis--which is loving all His kiddos, me included.

Thanks, Caressa!

[Lin]

Morey...freudian slip...read your post again...daily reading and mediCATION? I am sure that was meditation. ROFL.

I love structure. I love for things to go as planned. And I love a routine. I think that's because so much of my life was out of control. And when I can find things that ARE within my power, I try my6 best to make them as routine as possible. When I commit to someitng I do stick with it.

I've been very dedicated tothis column. I replied to it nearly every day since it started. I check for it every morning to see if there is a chip.

And graced..I can also see changes in my routine due to my recovery that I never dreamed I'd be doing...such as that daily checking in with my HP and allowing him to be in charge.

Caressa...if you see that you have in the past bent the ruless to fit the occasion, that's a wonderful step in changing that behavior. Just recognizing I am doing something will help me to change that behavior the next time I see it creeping in again.

Thanks for posting. Better late than not at all.

LIN

[~graced~]

ROFL!!!

;D