Self-condemnation/self valuation Thursday

[~graced~]

Well then--I as about to say self valuation until someone asked me going out the door to be nicer to ME. Huh?!

I can be pretty self critical--not in a condemning way, cuz I'm clear that my worth and value isn't contingent upon 'doing'. But I DO have a tendency to be inventorying all the time and putting a lable on it that apparently makes some folks think I'm putting myself down.

I get how they see it, and I'm thinking I need to be more on the sharing side on how what I do doesn't define my value.
"Oh--THAT was dumb"
"WAY to go, ya dork"
"I'm such a dweeb"
"SOMEday this WILL be gone from my defects list---REALLY!"
And "I'm a liar cheat and a thief--" even said tongue in cheek can give folks the impression that I'm devaluing me.
Me and my sense of humour...

It's not that I'm down on me--and I have no shame about the places I've been and the things I've done. They all brought me to where I am today. They don't define ME. But when I don't give people the whole picture their perception is thwarted and conclussions are drawn.

I don't devalue myself--cuz as a child of G-d my value just IS. But I do contribute to making it look LIKE I don't value me. And this, I need to do something about.

[Lin]

You said it all at the end. You are a child o G_D. That alone keeps you fom being a dweeb, dork, stupid, etc. I like the reminder G_D doesnt make JUNK.

Peopel see you for who you are TODAY. No need to tell everybody where you came from to get there. you deserve to be thought of as a kind person...a caring person...a confident person...a generous person, etc. So why try to camoflage it with details of things that happened many years ago??? What we se TODAY is what we get. And I know you've come a very long way!

Be proud of who you are TODAy and that shoudl help.

Self valuation? New term for me. I guess it means believing in myself and letting that confidence show?

I can do that. I am a generous person. I dont brag on the things I do for others, but I do things every day. One example yesterday was a bit on the un-ordinary side for me. I was in the teacher workroom with 2 teachers. It's a converted classroom with copy machines, paper cutters, laminatros. etc. Two of us had on nice dresses because we had church yesterday. One was upset. She had realized after she got there that her dress was sheer and she'd forgotten her slip. She asked if we coudl see through it. We said yes. She said..but I have to give communion today and everybody coming up will see through it. It was a black floral sheer dress. I had on a black and red dress and it was not sheer. But i did have on a black half slip. I took it off right there in t he workrom and handed it to her. She put it on and thanked me. I didnt need it . She did. I've heard of giving the shirt off your back, but I stretched that to SLIP/ LOL I'm proud I was able to help her out. The other lady was cracking up and left telling everybody. Self valuation? I am proud I felt moved to help her out in such an unusual way. I may not have that chance again, but I know if i do...I will be happy to do it again.

Good chip! I like your creative mind , graced. YOu have some great ideas!

{{{{hugs}}}
LIN

[caressa]

It is amazing how those old tapes can still come back and haunt the psychic. When I find one running, I try to remember that I may do stupid things, but that doesn't mean I am stupid. I may be a bit crazy, zany, and a bit eccentric, but that is okay today. At least it isn't the insanity of active addiction.

I am grateful that I can validate myself today and not have to go outside of myself for it. I am also glad that when I find myself abusing me I can make amends and give myself some much needed TLC!