Sunday chip-tolerance/intolerance

[Lin]

Something happened to me a few minutes ago and this chip seems to cover it.

I went to the drive thru window at steak N Shake and ordered a large decaf coffee. When he handed it to me I could see it was only abut 3/4 full. I could see the light behind the cup. I asked him why it was not full. His answr was i THINK we jsut ran out. I paid my #$1.37 and drove home.

Then i decided the principle of the thing was not something I wanted to tolerate. I called the store and spoke tot he manager. I told him tht I was not concerned over the $1.37 but the way it was handled. I said a better choices was for him to say we dont have a full cup right now. Would you like to wait for me to brew a fresh pot or would you like for me to top it off with regular coffee. The manager agreed. I also said SINCE it is the end of the pot I am GUESSing it's been sitting there several hours and is pretty nasty. The manager said i was most likely correct. (Yep...strong and nasty>)

He said he'd give me a free meal the next time i am in. I woudl ahve settled for a free coffee.

Tolerance is something I try hard to maintain. I try to be as tolerant and understanding of others as possible. I try to remember that others do things differently than I do and that's OK. But once in a while I stand up for myself. So i am guessing I was intolerant over my cup of coffee... LOL

Perhaps I needed some CAFFEINE??? hehehe

Are you tolerant or intolerant?

LIN

[caressa]

I think it is important to express ourselves, even if I my words are rejected or disagreed with, I have a right to be able to let them be known. Often it is how we express ourselves and we allow ourselves to hesitate and meditate instead of reacting to an action.

I felt the same thing when I complained about bus service. It wasn't about me, it was the fact that they didn't service the person with me at the bus stop who had a walker.

This weekend was a beautiful time. There were times that I had to be tolerant of things like ego, vanity and pride that I saw in others because I know it generally means that it takes one to know one.

i.e. A long timer said he didn't like long timer's when he came into the program and in today, there were some long timers he still didn't like.

There is a big difference between sober and dry long-timers. This is something that I find myself being very intolerant of when I hear them sharing their message with new people.

I also know that intolerance makes me judgmental and when I act out on that, I have to examine my motives and my intent.

[Lin]

Thanks for stopping by to reply. As I read between the lines...do I understand that sober long timers and dry long timers are different? Is it that the dry ones are cranky? Are they jsut not working their program? Woudl you explain? I dont thi8nk I have been around dry long timers before. THANKS
LIN

[caressa]

Dry drunk can mean several things. 1) Someone who has just put a plug in the jug and has not worked the steps or they often do them in early sobriety and never go back and do them again when they have achieved some clarity of thought. Often they use other "outside" things to replace their drug of choice. i.e. work, food, relationships, sex, gambling, tv. etc. They don't seem to realize that there are many addictions and they all lead to the same soul sickness. 2) It can happen when people stop going to meetings, stop working a program, and they become isolated and stop giving back what they have received. It is like a candle that is smothered, dims and eventually is snuffed out The long timers told me that I have to give "it" away in order to keep it. I have to make sure I have "it" to give. For me, "it" is sharing my personal, strength and hope, the gifts of awareness that I have received as a result of getting honest, open-minded and willing.

Often do the Step One, Two, Three Waltz and never do a Fourth and Fifth. Others do a Fourth and never do a Fifth, and still others don't do a Sixth and Seven or don't do an Eight and Nineth or do it too soon before they receive self-honesty, which was something that was a process for me. For me this is a living program and the Steps are as I need to work them in today. My defects can be gone in one area, come back again, or make themselves known in others ways. It is all about today, this 24-Hours.

This is my interruptation, perhaps others can share further insight.

[~graced~]

Gosh....dunno that I would call that 'intolerant' Linn. Tolerance was explained to me in terms of 'recognizing and respecting the rights, beliefs and practices of others'. I can recognize and respect those thing--and not endorse it. It's called celebrating differences. Okay, so folks want to have multiple wives in some cultures--I can recognize that and respect that for THEM. I don't have to sneer and put them down for it. I can celebrate the differences.

I'm a pretty doggone tolerant person. Fact is, I get pretty intolerant of intolerance...LOL I work with a diverse group of folks with a wide range of cultural differences and beliefs and practices. I get to celebrate them all-- That comes fairly easy today. I don't tolerate things that create harm to oneself or others. In those cases I assert myself and say what I know to be true and I love them anyway. I can feel myself bristling when it's happening and I know it's coming--I have the responsibility to challenge it in a manner that's necessary, kind and true.

Dry old-timers/dry anytimers make me sad--it's hard for me to see people settle for less than what's available to them. Intolerant of them? Nah....I love them anyway--cuz this might be what G-d had in store for them and perhaps that's way more than 'enough' for them. Just cuz it wasn't 'enough' for me, doesn't mean that's true for everyone.

I get sad when there's so much more that's not being tapped into. I can promote it through attraction. I can celebrate that what they have today is better than what they had--and offer a solution for 'more' if they're willing and have a desire. I thought I had 'it'--and was helped to become willing to get more. I don't know G-d's plan for their life, but I can offer to walk through some things with them if they decide that what they have isn't 'enough'.

[Lin]

Thanks for the explanation caressa and graced. I understand what you are talking aboutnow.

Yeah. I'm not sure it is intolerance either...I jsut knew I was not going to accept unacceptable behavior. Perhaps that is less than intolerance. LOL

Glad to see you posting!

LIN