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Post by caressa on Sept 21, 2005 9:02:28 GMT -5
The thought that comes to mind when I chose this chip was anything following but.... is bullsh*t.
I also heard the old saying "Bullsh*t baffles braines" on the weekend. It sure describes my intellectualizing and lack of acceptance because I have to try to figure it out instead of just accepting it as it is.
When I start justifying and using the word but, I am not in a place of acceptance and I am definitely defying what is in my life at the moment.
Making excuses for my actions and others has always been a big issue with me. I am grateful for the gift of being able to accept people for who they are and the ability to see where they are coming from although I don't always like it. I have a bigger problem with myself and often tend to be not accepting enough to surrender and let go and let God.
This doesn't happen as often as it use to, thank God for progress not perfection.
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Post by Lin on Sept 22, 2005 3:16:54 GMT -5
I did not have time to even log on yesterday once I left in the morning. And I had to do alot of accepting.
My husband had not drank in about a month and yesterday, because he knew I had a busy schedule, he drank. I had a faculty meeting right after school. When I called to remind him I heard it in his voice. The meeting ran over and I lad to leave before it was over. I only had time to run inthe house and swap nametags and get to my other job. I saw it in his eyes. He denied it of course, but I found the bottle. This time I left the bottle in the hiding place. I had three huge packages on the carport when I got home to grab the nametag. i asked him to please bring them in and put them in the back rom. I got home, he was "asleep" and the packages still on the carport. I brought them in.
I did alot of accepting. I was disappointed, but accepted that he's not ready to quit. He's not ready to keep his promises to himself,. to me and to his sponsor. And i am sure his sponsor has no idea how often he relapses. I cant make him stop. I can't guilt him, force him, humiliate him into it, convince him of it, etc. That's HIS choice. My choice is to accept that he's an acolholic and that's twhat alcoholics do..drink. (until they make up their mind it's time to stop.)
So I'll stay busy...do my jobs...and he will do his thing. Today after work I go straight to the manicure and then straight to the hair salon. I wont be home until 5. He often drinks when he has "opportunity" such as yesterday and today. (yesterday was to 7 PM) I accept that. I dont like it, but I do accept it.
Kinda sad this morning. Kinda quiet.
It reminds me of all the times I tried to get pregnant. Then I'd get my hopes up. I'd start a period or miscarry. Then it was all over and the letdown happened. Then I had to start over. Dealing with a relapse is jsut like that.
LIN
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Post by ~graced~ on Sept 22, 2005 8:38:21 GMT -5
((((((((((((Lin)))))))))))))
I'm kinda sad for ya, lady.
(((((((((((Lin))))))))))))((((((((((Lin))))))))))((((((Lin))))))
I might have been a bit on the defiant side of the coin yesterday--there are some things I simply won't endorse, no matter how you package it. Yesterday I refused to endorse what I simply won't endorse. Which ended with a bit of a conflict between myself and the other person. I did offer to be a part of a different solution. And I did give the other person an opportunity to be upfront and take responsibility on their own--before I went to someone to advise them of the situation.
Somethings are defiant worthy in my guestimation.
There are a whole list of things that I say 'this I WILL not do' to. They're things I used to indulge in, things I needed to surrender and let go of and learn to do differently.
'Right living' can sometimes be unpopular! LOL
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.