Saying No

[caressa]

More Language Of Letting Go

Know when to say no

Saying no is another way of saying when. For some of us, the hardest word in the language to speak is the short, simple word no. Instead of saying no, we toil on. What will he think if I say no? Mary won't be my friend if I don't do this. The project won't get done unless I do it. I'm not a team player when I say no. A good Christian needs to sacrifice himself. Saying no is selfish. And the list goes on. We abuse ourselves, take on more than we want, and find ourselves bitter and resentful. And we've done it to ourselves.
Know your limits. Know when to say no. There may be a few people who are offended by the limits that you set, but usually those are the ones trying to control or manipulate you. Some well-meaning colleagues may tell you that you're being selfish, but your ultimate responsibility is to yourself. That responsibility includes knowing how and when to set limits.
Look at your schedule. Are you so overloaded or booked that you can't see when you could have any time for fun, relaxing, or your own personal growth? It may be time for you to start setting limits. Remember, you get to decide what's best for you.
Learn to say no and stand by your choice.


God, help me to have the strength to set reasonable limits for myself and to tell others when I cannot help them. Help me learn to say no.

[majestyjo]

Was just sharing with my friend, "In recovery I learned that I had the right to say "No!" I also learned that I didn't have to justify saying "No!" "No! is a complete sentence.

I needed that help. I thought it was my wifely duty to say, "Yes." That is very old fashioned, but that was how I was raised. It was my job to MAKE him happy. I looked for it in return, and it didn't happen. I got a resentment when I was told it wasn't his job to make me happy, "Happiness comes from within." Oh how I wish that I knew that 40 years ago.

[majestyjo]

Needed to read this tonight. Said Yes too many times and reaping the consequences.