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Post by caressa on Dec 19, 2008 15:53:47 GMT -5
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Post by caressa on Dec 27, 2008 12:42:33 GMT -5
Self-honesty was the most difficult for me. I could tell you what I thought, no problem. Taking my own inventory and admitting to all the imperfections, character defects even though some were glaringly apparent, thoughts that ran around in my head that I couldn't allow you to know about or you would think I was crazy or totally insane or worse still, wouldn't like and accept me was really a challenge.
My low self-esteem and self-worth along with my insecurities I went to counselling about. I asked one counsellor if I really needed the therapy. She said, "My first thought is no but what I think you need is a safe place to share yourself." I shared at meetings but there were still issues that I didn't feel comfortable putting on the table. In order to heal, I had to let out the darkness to let the light shine and reveal the real me. No more blinders, no more rose-coloured glasses, no tunnel vision, no more black or white and no more denial allowed me to heal and change. It is a work in process. God and I are still working on it, but that is okay. I didn't get sick overnight, I shut down at the age of 3 to my knowledge and I didn't find recovery until I was 49 and here I am years later living in today trying to practice honesty and self-love, so I can't expect 17 years of recovery to balance out all the years of using, fears, and denial.
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 16, 2016 18:13:40 GMT -5
Sorry, the last link does not work and I don't have access to change it. It is my post as Caressa, but when I left the site I deleted my membership and had to sign in under a new name. Today is 24 years, and yet it is 24 hours of one day at a time.  |
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.