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Post by SunnyGirl on Jun 7, 2009 14:00:36 GMT -5
Nothing changes, if nothing changes! Prior to Nar-Anon when we didn’t get what we wanted, we tried to control, criticize, avoid, retaliate, complain, scheme, punish, blame and get angry just to name a few.....  When we stopped trying to control, but didn't work the 12-step program, we'd relapse or just switch to another addiction, be it food, shopping or anything we obsess over. Rarely do people quit and go on to be happy, without a lifestyle change or a new strategy for living. Quitting destructive behavior is only part of the solution, replacing those behaviors is very important to our recovery. We need to identify them and replace them with new options. Getting into acceptance, working the steps and reaching out to others is how we learn what does work and what doesn't. We
have to be willing to change...... Look for the progress, not perfection! Even the little changes add up over time and before you know it, happiness and serenity have replaced all those negative feelings. Today I still have a full time job working on my recovery, but, attempting to control anyone but ourselves is impossible..... Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl |
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Post by mrsspanish on Jun 7, 2009 14:42:03 GMT -5
cherie,
thanks for sharing and I agree. You cant change anyone but yourself!!! It took me a long time to understand that!
Hugs
Doris
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Post by caressa on Jun 7, 2009 15:41:36 GMT -5
Good post my friend. That is why I needed to do a Step Four. To look at what was there and what needed to change. Patterns and behavior which no longer stand me in good stead in recovery.
I was told that if something felt 'comfortable' it was long overdue for change. Continuing to grow in the fellowship of the spirit, to walk more connected and with confidence in who I am in today.
All my life I looked to others for validation and affirmation. I lived my life through others. I thought it was impossible unless I had that someone else in my life. Today I don't look to someone else to compelte me. Today, I am complete and whole within myself and have freedom of choice as to who I choose and accept into my sacred space. It is about self respect and acceptance today. When I lack either one, then I am being less than I can be and for me, not working my program to the best of my ability. The empowerment is there. Am I tapping into the Source and using the energy that is available to me.
Love the slogan, "Let it begin with me!" It isn't about the OP in my life. It is about how I walk my talk and react to what is happening around me. Today I phoned a friend and asked him to pick me up for a NA meeting tonight. I found myself cussing the little things when doing laundry. An indicator that something is not right. I also found that my timing was off. Was thinking I had 20-30 minutes left only to find that my time had run out. I have a very good connection usually about what is happening and where I am at in a day, and that wasn't happening today. When I realized it was off, I sat in a chair in the laundry room and did a meditation.
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Post by majestyjo on Jan 4, 2017 0:39:09 GMT -5
As the saying goes, let's say it again with feeling: Nothing changes, if nothing changes!
Prior to Nar-Anon when we didn’t get what we wanted, we tried to control, criticize, avoid, retaliate, complain, scheme, punish, blame and get angry just to name a few.....
When we stopped trying to control, but didn't work the 12-step program, we'd relapse or just switch to another addiction, be it food, shopping or anything we obsess over. Rarely do people quit and go on to be happy, without a lifestyle change or a new strategy for living. Quitting destructive behavior is only part of the solution, replacing those behaviors is very important to our recovery. We need to identify them and replace them with new options.
Getting into acceptance, working the steps and reaching out to others is how we learn what does work and what doesn't. We
have to be willing to change...... Look for the progress, not
perfection! Even the little changes add up over time and before you know it, happiness and serenity have replaced all those negative feelings. Today I still have a full time job working on my recovery, but, attempting to control anyone but ourselves is impossible.....Again, I don't like the word control. It is an illusion. I can't control, it is only through my Higher Power that I am empowered to do what I need to do for myself in today. |
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Post by caressa222 on Jan 12, 2019 22:47:23 GMT -5
We do need to want to change All the prayer from well meaning friends and family can't carry any weight, if we continue to refuse to change. I was so wrapped up in prayer, it is a wonder it took me so long to find recovery.
I was one of the really sick ones. A woman took me to my first meeting and I didn't identify for myself. When I finally arrived, she got up from her seat, came over and gave me a hug and said, "I am so glad you lived long enough to find the doors of recovery."
I told my aunt and my sponsee, if you want me to quit smoking, pray more quietly so I can't hear you. The more I hear, the old Defiant Me wants to act out
So grateful that this is a one day at a time program. My son is quite good at telling me that I need a meeting and he is a self-admitted addict. This mind can still take me to crazy places, just grateful for the tools that keep me from picking up. We can slip mentally, emotionally, and spiritually before we physically pick up. That goes for us in Nar-Anon or those trying to work a 12 Step program.
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Hugs, Doris
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.