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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 14, 2009 14:15:56 GMT -5
Expectations are premeditated resentments...... Not sure if
that is exactly how the saying goes but pretty close.
Whether its my expectations for myself or expecting the "A"
to do the right thing, I am setting myself up for disappointment.
People around us may expect us to act or not act in certain
ways and they get disappointed in us at times. I really hate
to let people down but it's not my job to fulfill their hopes and
desires or live up to or down to their standards. The fact is,
I can't be everything to everyone, so I have to keep the focus
on myself and be the best Me I can be. "What others think
about me is none of my business".....
In turn, when I have high expectations on what other people
should/shouldn't be doing, you can bet your bottom dollar I will
end up having my hopes dashed, or feeling resentful toward
them. Again I am setting myself up!
I can't help it if other people are disappointed in me, it's just
not my problem. But, I can minimize my expectations of others
and spare myself a lot of heartache. I am prone to procratinate,
and try to stay on top of stuff but when I fail to do so, I am
disappointed in myself. I need to keep reminding myself.....
It's all in trying to do the right thing. If I fail, I will dust myself
off and start again, the trick is just don't give up, never give up
on yourself!
How do you handle expectations? Please share your thoughts!
Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl
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Post by caressa on Nov 14, 2009 15:58:19 GMT -5
Good post. The only way I can handle expectations is to lower them so that they are attainable or not set myself up and don't place them at all.
I expect myself to do well. Doing less than, has always been a problem with me. In today, I allow for the fact that I am human although in the past that seemed like an excuse.
I have heard people say, "Well I am only human;" or "I am an addict;" or "I am an alcoholic; or "I am married to an ..., what do you expect." and excuse themselves from change and trying to better themselves.
I think they can be a trust issue. I expect my Higher Power to be there for me and yet, if I am not where He wants me to be and I forgot to take Him with me, then there is a good chance that He is looking the other way.
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 16, 2009 14:07:18 GMT -5
thank you for sharing Caressa....
“I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live
up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live
up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find
each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.”
- - Gestalt prayer
I need to remember that expectations are, "premeditated
resentments". Expecting more from those around me, than
they are able/willing to give truly is setting myself up! ODAT
Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl
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Post by majestyjo on Aug 28, 2016 19:43:46 GMT -5
A good one, for me. As it says in the Big Book, I need to raise the level of my acceptance and lower my expectations. Not only of myself but of others too. Some people are just not capable of meeting our expectations that WE project onto them. Most times, it isn't there job anyway.  |
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Post by majestyjo on Jul 23, 2017 16:20:53 GMT -5
“I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live
up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live
up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find
each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.”
- - Gestalt prayer
Really like this. I took personal exception to some people's actions and just clocked them up as their stuff, but it seemed so selfish and self-centered, that they wouldn't put themselves out there for a special celebration. It was my sister's 50th wedding anniversary, for me it is a miracle and she has talents unknown to me, to live with someone that long. Personally, I would probably have done away with him a long time ago, even though he does have some good traits. LOL! I am not known for my relationship skills. I just know what not to do. roflmao!!!
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Post by majestyjo on Jul 23, 2019 16:34:16 GMT -5
Always a good topic, I need to lower them can't project my stiff onto others. It is not good to take on what is not mine.
Remember to be gentle with yourself allergies are asked to do is try.
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.