Post by caressa on May 27, 2010 22:17:44 GMT -5
Was wondering if everyone else had a raise in their pain levels. I think it is the grieving that I am doing with the move of my son and the talk now of going to B. C.
Grief naturally brings depression and sadness. Emotions so often make themselves known physically. Mine are screaming and shouting and saying, "Hey you, do something!"
Part of that is sharing the emotions and bringing them to the surface. It has been difficult emotionally, also physically because he was doing the heavy cleaning and running my errands for me.
I filled out an application almost a month ago to Helping Hands but haven't heard back from them.
My doctor has put me on new medication for the neuropathy in my feet. I walked downtown this morning about 9:30 a.m. and walked two thirds of the mall, headed back, and then had to return to my bank to get a money order for my son's birthday. I had spent all my money that I had taken out and used the debit twice and had to get more money. Heading back to the exit for my bus, I spent more of that. Spending money is also a good way of softening those feelings. It sounds like a good thing, but it too can become an addiction. If I had the money, I am sure I would be a shopping addict. I didn't think I liked shopping, then I realized, I didn't like shopping without money.
I came home with all my 'stuff' put it into my refrigerator and added my books to the pile I already had, took the medication for the neuropathy (Gabapentin 100 mg.) and set out again to go to Food Basics.
When I was going to the bus to go to the store, my feet hurt so bad and they felt like they were bleeding. I even took off my orthonic sandles to see if there was blood on them. There is so much nerve damage done to my feet. Probably goes back to when I jumped off the grainery which was a small housing unit for the grain on the second floor of our barn amongst the hay. I jumped off the roof onto the barn floor. I felt paralyzed, couldn't move. Didn't feel pain, just couldn't move for what seemed minutes but was probably seconds. I go tup and was fine and
never mentioned it to my mother. In later years wondered why I had weak
ankles and feet that were so sore.
When I get honest, it was to take myself out to lunch and trying to decide between greasy friend fish and chips or Kentucky Fried chicken and chips. Ichose the chicken because of the coleslaw which if they had a label on it, it would have way too much sugar. Lunch was about 3 p.m. and then I went to the health food store for my oil of oregano and my Bio K1 plus (stomach medicine) which I got in mango instead of strawberry this time. then I went into the grocery story to get what I didn't need because my freezer and fridge was already full.
Didn't get home until 4:30 p.m. and have been on my computer for most of the night. Have taken a few breaks here and there to watch TV, have my dessert a bowl of fresh Ontario strawberries, a sliced banana and a little butterscotch ice cream. Vanilla is a very big trigger for me. I don't want to drink but it brings back memories to me that I prefer to leave in the past so I try not to go there.
A long and a busy day and I thank you for letting me share.
Grief naturally brings depression and sadness. Emotions so often make themselves known physically. Mine are screaming and shouting and saying, "Hey you, do something!"
Part of that is sharing the emotions and bringing them to the surface. It has been difficult emotionally, also physically because he was doing the heavy cleaning and running my errands for me.
I filled out an application almost a month ago to Helping Hands but haven't heard back from them.
My doctor has put me on new medication for the neuropathy in my feet. I walked downtown this morning about 9:30 a.m. and walked two thirds of the mall, headed back, and then had to return to my bank to get a money order for my son's birthday. I had spent all my money that I had taken out and used the debit twice and had to get more money. Heading back to the exit for my bus, I spent more of that. Spending money is also a good way of softening those feelings. It sounds like a good thing, but it too can become an addiction. If I had the money, I am sure I would be a shopping addict. I didn't think I liked shopping, then I realized, I didn't like shopping without money.
I came home with all my 'stuff' put it into my refrigerator and added my books to the pile I already had, took the medication for the neuropathy (Gabapentin 100 mg.) and set out again to go to Food Basics.
When I was going to the bus to go to the store, my feet hurt so bad and they felt like they were bleeding. I even took off my orthonic sandles to see if there was blood on them. There is so much nerve damage done to my feet. Probably goes back to when I jumped off the grainery which was a small housing unit for the grain on the second floor of our barn amongst the hay. I jumped off the roof onto the barn floor. I felt paralyzed, couldn't move. Didn't feel pain, just couldn't move for what seemed minutes but was probably seconds. I go tup and was fine and
never mentioned it to my mother. In later years wondered why I had weak
ankles and feet that were so sore.
When I get honest, it was to take myself out to lunch and trying to decide between greasy friend fish and chips or Kentucky Fried chicken and chips. Ichose the chicken because of the coleslaw which if they had a label on it, it would have way too much sugar. Lunch was about 3 p.m. and then I went to the health food store for my oil of oregano and my Bio K1 plus (stomach medicine) which I got in mango instead of strawberry this time. then I went into the grocery story to get what I didn't need because my freezer and fridge was already full.
Didn't get home until 4:30 p.m. and have been on my computer for most of the night. Have taken a few breaks here and there to watch TV, have my dessert a bowl of fresh Ontario strawberries, a sliced banana and a little butterscotch ice cream. Vanilla is a very big trigger for me. I don't want to drink but it brings back memories to me that I prefer to leave in the past so I try not to go there.
A long and a busy day and I thank you for letting me share.