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Post by lala on Mar 4, 2004 23:53:59 GMT -5
TEXT
about a week or two ago i let my ex back in my life he was back in the program, sober and doing well i thought then tonight upon picking me up at work he informed me that he got drunk last night....well for some odd reasont i wasnt supprised nor was i angry or full of emotion i simply just turned to him and said i was sorry he had to do that but it is time i let you go and i came home and called my sponser.....now this relationship has been ongoing for three yrs and its always been the same he drinks i get upset and hurt and angry but yet always keep allowing myself to stay tonight my sponser told me if i really wanted to be done with it i have to shut the door and keep it closed so that is what im doing and for some reason im ok with it i know god will fill me up in every area of my life and im welcoming it with open arms.........lala
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Post by frogdog on Mar 15, 2004 19:37:31 GMT -5
Letting go of a loved one is a really hard thing to do, but when you're ready, you're ready. Not allowing yourself to become emotionally wrecked (or invested, even) is the key. You handled the situation wisely. Kudos!
--Frogdog
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Post by Caressa2 on Mar 15, 2004 23:09:56 GMT -5
It works my friend like all other aspects of this disease; when you are willing, things happen and not before.
My ex-sponsor use to say to me, "Divorce them!" Mentally divorce them in your mind, and it helps you to let them go emotionally, so you can made the decision to do it physically. It is a step beyond detachment.
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Post by frogdog on Mar 17, 2004 21:49:51 GMT -5
One of the problems I have with mentally divorcing is that I tend to do it whenever my H and I argue. I feel like he doesn't love me if I'm not perfect and my mind jumps to "divorce." Yet one more thing I need to work on. However, if used correctly, mentally divorcing is a really great tactic to get out of a sticky and destructive relationship.
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Post by Caressa2 on Mar 18, 2004 5:40:46 GMT -5
When I was married, there was more than "divorce" I wanted to do to him.
I had to change some old tapes, like "If you don't love me I will find someone who does." I was forever cutting off my nose to spite my face. I hurt me more than I ever hurt him; or I gave up my power to him, to keep the love and attention that I craved.
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Post by preciouschihua on Mar 18, 2004 6:59:29 GMT -5
frogdog's
mentally divorcing, wow, really good respones
and helping to get the mind going here this morning
good responses, and frogdog -- I could use all the
advice, you seem to have
been there - done that
thanks
Suz
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Post by frogdog on Mar 20, 2004 13:45:23 GMT -5
Suz,
I'm just self-consumed and analytical. Two annoying traits.
--Frogdog
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Post by Tiger on Mar 20, 2004 16:11:20 GMT -5
Hi Frogdog,
I'm just self-consumed and analytical. Two annoying traits.
--Frogdog
The last words Bill W. heard Dr. Bob speak was " let's keep this program simple".I know from my early years around AA as I slipped in and out, I did too much analyzing and too *little* action! I believe you can "think" your way right out of this program.
IMO AA is a simple program for complicated people. It's as simple as "Unconditional Surrender" i.e. " Drinking is *not* an option".....no matter what or where you are!
I spent too many years with "conditional sobriety" where my my sobriety was contingent on people, places and things.
Today, I don't analysis, I utilize the steps and principles of this program........and try to the best of my ability to "Keep It Simple"!
As I battle my recently discovered cancer it would be real easy to "think" my way out of this program but, thank God, I've been around long enough to know that " Drinking Is Not An Option"!
In closing, I think cyberspace AA is great but the "meat and potatoes" are at f2f meetings where we are all equal.....teachers, students, lawyers, doctors, garbage men....people from Park Avenue to Park Benches!!!
Hang In there!, Live in the "now"and " don't drink!...no matter what!!
Tiger
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Post by Teiger on Mar 21, 2004 13:14:48 GMT -5
Hi Frogdog,
I'm just self-consumed and analytical. Two annoying traits.
--Frogdog
The last words Bill W. heard Dr. Bob speak was " let's keep this program simple".I know from my early years around AA as I slipped in and out, I did too much analyzing and too *little* action! I believe you can "think" your way right out of this program.
IMO AA is a simple program for complicated people. It's as simple as "Unconditional Surrender" i.e. " Drinking is *not* an option".....no matter what or where you are!
I spent too many years with "conditional sobriety" where my my sobriety was contingent on people, places and things.
Today, I don't analysis, I utilize the steps and principles of this program........and try to the best of my ability to "Keep It Simple"!
As I battle my recently discovered cancer it would be real easy to "think" my way out of this program but, thank God, I've been around long enough to know that " Drinking Is Not An Option"!
In closing, I think cyberspace AA is great but the "meat and potatoes" are at f2f meetings where we are all equal.....teachers, students, lawyers, doctors, garbage men....people from Park Avenue to Park Benches!!!
Hang In there!, Live in the "now"and " don't drink!...no matter what!!
Tiger
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Post by preciouschihua on Apr 6, 2004 12:38:18 GMT -5
keep posting you don't know how much you are helping me, others, and yourself. One day at a time Suz  |
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Post by caressa222 on Nov 12, 2019 0:21:06 GMT -5
Hi Frogdog,
I'm just self-consumed and analytical. Two annoying traits.
--Frogdog
The last words Bill W. heard Dr. Bob speak was " let's keep this program simple".I know from my early years around AA as I slipped in and out, I did too much analyzing and too *little* action! I believe you can "think" your way right out of this program.
IMO AA is a simple program for complicated people. It's as simple as "Unconditional Surrender" i.e. " Drinking is *not* an option".....no matter what or where you are!
I spent too many years with "conditional sobriety" where my my sobriety was contingent on people, places and things.
Today, I don't analysis, I utilize the steps and principles of this program........and try to the best of my ability to "Keep It Simple"!
As I battle my recently discovered cancer it would be real easy to "think" my way out of this program but, thank God, I've been around long enough to know that " Drinking Is Not An Option"!
In closing, I think cyberspace AA is great but the "meat and potatoes" are at f2f meetings where we are all equal.....teachers, students, lawyers, doctors, garbage men....people from Park Avenue to Park Benches!!!
Hang In there!, Live in the "now"and " don't drink!...no matter what!!
Tiger
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Post by caressa222 on Nov 12, 2019 0:25:59 GMT -5
Great shares.y spiritual advisor reminded me not too long ago. Hard to divorce your son.
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.