90 in 90

[Caressa2]

Dear Frogdog,

90/90 is good, but one day at a time, and living each day is more important. A lot of people project to the 90 and don't live in today. At the end of 90 there is no cure, there is no quick fix, I think the term was probably one of those 'old timer's' slogans or old tapes that referes to Step One, if you decide you don't like us, you can go back out and we will refund your misery.

I was one of the sick ones, I did two meetings a day for two years. Then with service and my program maintenance I was still doing 7-10 meetings a week. Now I am no longer as active in service if you don' count the number of times I come here, then I get to one or two meetings a week now that I have twelve years of living this program one day at a time.

A sponsor is important, the steps are crucial for serenity and sobriety, and the traditions have spiritual principles which we can apply to our own lives to help us with living. It helps within the groups, but it helps when you apply them to your home.

Monday at noon (est) we are doing Step One. To date we don't have a Monday night meeting, but I hope someone will be able to do one in the near future.

There are meetings every night. I am a recovering addict who used alcohol and pills to escape life, and I have a son who is out there practicing, and I have been going to Al-Anon for twelve years. Al-Anon helped me to find myself. It helped me see where my roots were and to identify old tapes and has been the basis of my recovery program. Tweleve Steps are Twelve Steps, and it is about living clean and sober in today and letting go of the past, with a hope for a better tomorrow. Al-Anon and Nar-Anon help me with that.
I am also an adult child of an alcoholic and the daughter of a mother who qualified for Overeaters Anonymous.

I am a recovering workaholic and just about any other program you want to put me in. My drug of choice is more. I can use anything to escape life and where I am at and not take the time to stop and look at me.

The First Promise says we will know a new freedom and a new happines. I have the freedom of bondage from active addiction; but I was granted another great gift. I was given the freedom to be myself.

[dordep]

hi (((family))),

This is really sad to me. This thread did start out with people sharing their experience, strength and hope and now has somewhat turned into a debate. Guess there is always one in the group.

If I ever want to drink, I can't dial the Big Book, although I keep reading it over and over. I'm one alkie that needs the fellowship (the meetings and people) and the program (the 12 steps)....and I don't like anyone implying that all people become clones if they go to meetings...and always use the AA jargon. I still speak normal English, and , that's after practicing, not working, the 12 steps for the past 23 years.

But each morning when I get up, I am a newbie, cuz I can't stay sober on yesterday's sobriety. The 23 years are no good if I don't have today.

Oh well, so much for resigning from the debating society...which i s in the AA 12 & 12 also.

love ya,

[Caressa2]

Thanks for sharing Dorrie. When I am hurting, it is always back to basics for me, because it generally means I am not working my program to it's fullest.

I had a friend say once, "She went out and bought all the self-help books she could find, then she did a Big Book study, and found everything in there that she needed for living and for what she had spent time and money on, looking for 'outside' of the program.

Basics for me? Don't pick up! Don't use! Go to a meeting, talk to my sponsor, read my recovery literature from whatever fellowship material I need in today, apply the steps to my life and live the traditions so I can live with myself and my fellowman.

Keep it Simple! If sayings help you to remember all of the above, please use them. If you have some of your own, utilize them. It is about doing whatever works for you, in today.

I have twelve years of one day at a time. I sometimes hesitate to say I have twelve years of sobriety, because some of those days my soundness of mind was questionable. I am clean and sober, but I strive for sobriety in today, this is a living program.

[frogdog]

Hello. It's Tuesday, 6 days since my last final. I maintained a 3.5, which isn't too bad, but I wish I still had my 4.0.

Okay. I'm coming down to the nitty gritty here. I am craving a beer like the sky craves blue. Like dirt craves dirty. Like sleep craves a dream. Enough of the poetics. I want a drink really bad.

I knew this woudl happen because time off is my trigger. I know I won't drink tonight because I'm going to clean the house. And, tomorrow I'm going canoing with my husband, and we won't drink. And, Thursday, I'm having my friend over - she's an addictions counselor - and I'll be gardening all day besides. It's Friday night I'm thinking about. We have plans to go to dinner with a dear friend, and I am thinking about a cold brew to go along.

#1. When I drink, I am never sure I can stop.
#2. Most of the time I can moderate, but there is always that binge that happens.
#3. It is inevitable that if I drink, I will binge eventually.
#4. When I binge, I feel suicidal the next day.
#5. When I drink regularly, I slip up in other ways, like the way I talk to people becomes careless.
#6. I lose my thoughtfulness when I drink.
#7. Remember the blackout that day?
#8. I almost died.
#9. If I drink on Friday, how will I tell people in all honesty that I don't drink when they ask me to go along?
#10. When I drink, I lose my values, I lose myself.

Even as I write this, I'm thinking, "okay...appease them, then go have a beer." Or, "you know you can have one beer. What's the problem?" Or, "Other people drink a beer, and drink way more than you do, so why do you think you're an alcoholic?" Even writing the word alcoholic has become difficult....like I'm unsure again.

I hate it when my mind becomes two dueling forces and my mouth waters in rememberence. It's like I've trained myself to self-destruct.

--Frogdog.

[Caressa2]

Well my friend you seem to have your week planned.

You have projected and have your week scheduled to relapse on Friday. May I suggest you stay in today, and take it one day at a time.

God Bless.

[dordep]

Dear Frogdog,

I was taught we stay sober a day at a time, not a week at a time. If you drink Friday, you yourself said, you will be suicidal Saturday. What a great day Saturday will be if you continue on a self-destructive path.

I hope you remain close to your Higher Power and to these message boards...THINK ! What good will it do an alcoholic to take a drink...please THINK about that Frogdog !

praying for you,

[bigbookway]

Its not the MEETINGS WE TOOK.

It is THE STEPS WE TOOK.



Aubrey

[majestyjo]

You are right bigbookway, it is not the meetings we took. It was the meetings we went to and discussed the 12 Steps. After reading the Step and discussiong, we took it and applied it to our live if and when it was applicable.

We don't stop and Step 12. When we get to Step 12, we start back at Step One. Through the process of taking the steps, we grow, we become aware, we share with others and we have new perspective. We will see things we didn't see first time around, second time around, and or the 100th time.

A friend would ask me, "What Step are you in todayy Jo?" I reply, "Some days I need all 12." Doing what ever it takes not to drink and drug in today.

So grateful for this program. We all have to find what works for them. I need to maintain it. I need to realize that after 25 years in recovery, I still need it just as much as I did back in 1991. I suffer from chronic fatigue and pain. It hasn't gone away. My disease is still in remission, thanks to the 12 Steps that lead me to a better way of life.

[caressa222]

You can't beat the natural high of being clean and sober over the holidays. Don't be alone. Be safe.