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Post by caressa on Sept 10, 2010 15:46:10 GMT -5
This seems to be the theme today. Looking at it now from a different perspective.
Many times, from all accounts, I was a 'quiet young thing' when I was growing up. My father said that when i came home at 26, I was making up for lost time.
When I look back on it today, being alone meant fear. I was waiting for what was going to happen next. I had to change my perspective and learn that being alone was no longer a fearful thing. It was a good thing, not something that proceeded bad things.
Being alone meant my mind went into the worst case scenarios. Instead of allowing the fear to overrun my thoughts, I had to learn to quiet my mind, have faith in my God and allow Him to oevercome that fear.
Being alone, didn't mean me alone with me. It meant, me alone with my God.
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Post by SunnyGirl on Sept 10, 2010 17:05:14 GMT -5
good topic Caressa......
I don't mind my alone time, in fact I guard it as a gift, not
something to avoid. Even as a child I could sit and play for
hours by myself... I guess one could say, I've learned to like
me! Despite my faults, I get along just fine with ME!
"Honey" has many more outside interests than I do, so I
encourage him to go and do. I don't consider myself a hermit,
I do enjoy company now and then and accept invitations to join
other people for dinner or a get together. I just have no desire
to go, just for the sake of going.....
Some people are constantly on the go, it makes me wonder
why? I guess it could be nervous energy, or they are just more
outgoing than I am. I've never been the "life of the party" or
had any burning desire to stand up and make myself a focal
point of the conversation. I am not shy, I just avoid being in
the limelight!
I am at peace with myself and my life! I've learned that
we can't live our lives by other peoples rules and it's OK to
disagree with their opinions. I guess I'm just dancing to a
different drummer.....
Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl
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Post by caressa on Sept 10, 2010 17:17:10 GMT -5
You reminded me of the fact that I had little self-confidence. Don't think I was shy, but all my life I tried to break through the fear of not being accepted, of being ugly and not worthy of love and not worthy of attention. All those old tapes, "Who are you.." added up and I believed them.
I remember making myself get up and go to people I didn't know and welcoming them. I was totally fearful, but made myself do it. Back then I had the alcohol to give me the courage.
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Post by SunnyGirl on Sept 10, 2010 19:27:42 GMT -5
;D I have always been kinda the rebel of the group...
I refused to go along to get along, I wanted to do it
my way, with or without them. I never gave a d**n
about what other people thought about me! Today I
can honestly say I do care, I want people to like me
but I am not willing to abandon my core beliefs. I just
want to do the best I can O.D.A.T..... hugs, SG
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Post by caressa on Sept 16, 2010 17:11:06 GMT -5
You mentioned about being alone as a child and playing. According to my dad, I did the same thing. I left home when i was 17 and came back at 26 to become his dirnking buddy. I started my party time and he said, "Now you are making up for lost time." I didn't know what he meant. I did not make waves when when I was young. There were no people around to make waves with. My sisters were 3 & 4 years younger than me and there were no neighbors close. The nearest children were 1 1/4 miles away and we were not allowed to go there. That was when I was 10 years old. Except for my cousins, who I seldom saw outside of school, there was no one. I do remember playing cowboys and indians and wanting to be the indian. It took 8 boys to capture me and take me to jail. Another girl and myself played rubby with the boys. A guy pushed me into a thorn bush against the fence. I hauled off and slugged him. So I guess there were a few occasions I was the rebel. Life just seemed very alone and lonely.
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Post by BW on Sept 17, 2010 13:49:31 GMT -5
Great topic...There was a time I had to have peop,e around me just so there was noise. I took hostages so I didn't have to be alone...Today I do chereish my quiet times and my solitude...It is not isolation...It is in that quiet solitude that God does speak volumes to the heart.. I do miss finding what I referred to as my serenity spots that I had when I lived in California.. I would hop in the car where my steering wheel became my prayer wheel and say "Ok God..where are we headed today?" and would find a water fall or a babbling brook...and would have a picnic with God and would lay out my thanx or my concerns for others...Oh I know I can do that anywhere but there is something about communing with nature and finding His art work in new and different places. And there is a real freedom about taking the 6th and 7th step near the vastness of the ocean and seeing how far one can fling those defects into His arms to be totally free of them...How can one feel alone standing next to a redwood tree that towers so majestically towards the heavens. I stood in a grove of redwoods that had grown in a manner that resembled a sanctuary and felt God's arms around me and the birds were His angels singing His praises...I'm never really alone...I can occasionally feel momentarly feel lonely but I am never alone
'
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Post by majestyjo on Aug 31, 2016 15:12:42 GMT -5
Some good shares. So glad that things can change. I like being alone and quiet. Before I quite often instigated it, and with family over the years, everyone trying to out shout the other, and I just wanted to back off and not contribute to it all. Other times, I can be in there and want to say my piece, but that doesn't lead to serenity. Me alone with me in today, is much better company.  |
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.