NA JUST FOR TODAY - NOVEMBER

[majestyjo]

November 01, 2014


Awakening


Page 319
 


"God helps us as we help each other."



Basic Text p.51



Our addiction caused us to think almost exclusively of ourselves. Even our prayers-if we prayed at all-were self-centered. We asked God to fix things for us or get us out of trouble. Why? Because we didn't want to live with the problems we'd created for ourselves. We were insecure. We thought life was about getting, and we always wanted more.



And in recovery we get more-more than just not using. The spiritual awakening we experience in working the Twelve Steps reveals to us a life we never dreamed possible. We no longer need to worry about whether there will be "enough," for we come to rely on a loving Higher Power who meets all our daily needs. Relieved of our incessant insecurity, we no longer see the world as a place in which to compete with others for the fulfillment of our desires. Instead, we see the world as a place in which to live out the love our Higher Power has shown us. Our prayers are not for instant gratification; they are for help in helping each other.



Recovery awakens us from the nightmare of self-centeredness, strife, and insecurity that lies at the core of our disease. We wake up to a new reality. All that is worth having can be kept only by giving it away.



Just for Today: My God helps me as I help others. Today, I will seek help in giving away the love my Higher Power has given me, knowing that is the way to keep it.

Good words for a daily thought. For me a thought is a prayer.

[majestyjo]

November 02, 2014

Living with unresolved problems

Page 320

"It makes a difference to have friends who care if we hurt."

Basic Text p.54

For most of our problems, the solution is simple. We call our sponsor, pray, work the steps, or go to a meeting. But what about those situations where the burden is ongoing and there's no end in sight?

Most of us know what it's like to live with a painful situation-a problem that just isn't going to disappear. For some of us, the problem is an incurable, life-threatening illness. Some of us have incorrigible children. Some of us find that our earnings simply don't cover our living expenses. Some of us care for a chronically ill friend or family member.

Those of us who have ever had to live with an unresolved problem know the relief that comes from just talking about our problem with our recovering friends. We may get some comic relief. Our friends may commiserate or cry in sympathy. Whatever they do, they ease our burden. They may not be able to solve our problem for us or take away our painful feelings, but just knowing that we are loved and cared about makes our problems bearable. We never have to be alone with our pain again.

Just for Today: Those problems I can't resolve can be made bearable by talking to a friend. Today, I will call someone who cares.

So true, it is good to have a go-to-friend in times of need.

[majestyjo]

November 03, 2014

No matter what

Page 321

"We eventually have to stand on our own feet and face life on its own terms, so why not from the start."

Basic Text p.85

Some of us feel that we should protect newcomers by telling them that, while everything used to be horrible, now we're in recovery it's all wonderful. We feel that we might scare someone away if we speak of pain or difficulties, broken marriages, being robbed, and the like. In a sincere and well-intentioned desire to carry the message, we tend to talk glowingly only about what's going well in our lives.

But most newcomers already suspect the truth, even if they've only been clean for a few days. Chances are that the "life on life's terms" the average newcomer is experiencing is quite a bit more stressful than what the average oldtimer deals with each day. If we do manage to convince a newcomer that everything becomes rosy in recovery, we had better make sure we are there to support that newcomer when something goes wrong in his or her life.

Perhaps we simply need to share realistically about how we use the resources of Narcotics Anonymous to accept "life on life's terms,' whatever those terms may be on any given day. Recovery, and life itself, contain equal parts of pain and joy. It is important to share both so the newcomer can know that we stay clean no matter what.

Just for Today: I will be honest with the newcomers I share with and let them know that, no matter what life brings, we never have to use drugs again.

So true, and as my sponsor said to me, "We may find lot of excuses, but will find no reason to pick up, if we remember just to be grateful, for a second chance at life."

[majestyjo]

November 04, 2014

Exchanging love

Page 322

"...we give love because it was given so freely to us. New frontiers are open to us as we learn how to love. Love can be the flow of life energy from one person to another."

Basic Text pp. 100-101

Love given, and love received, is the essence of life itself. It is the universal common denominator, connecting us to those around us. Addiction deprived us of that connection, locking us within ourselves.

The love we find in the NA program reopens the world to us. It unlocks the cage of addiction which once imprisoned us. By receiving love from other NA members, we find out-perhaps for the first time-what love is and what it can do. We hear fellow members talk about the sharing of love, and we sense the substance it lends to their lives.

We begin to suspect that, if giving and receiving love means so much to others, maybe it can give meaning to our lives, too. We sense that we are on the verge of a great discovery, yet we also sense that we won't fully understand the meaning of love unless we give ours away. We try it, and discover the missing connection between ourselves and the world.

Today, we realize that what they said was true: "We keep what we have only by giving it away."

Just for Today: Life is a new frontier for me, and the vehicle I will use to explore it is love. I will give freely the love I have received.

Amen!

That is how my sites were built. I received so much love, that I had to build sites to post all the material I received so I would lose it, and they gave me a way to pass onto others what has been so freely given to me.

[majestyjo]

November 05, 2014

God's guidance

Page 323

"Our Higher power is accessible to us at all times. We receive guidance when we ask for knowledge of God's will for us."

Basic Text p. 92

It's not always easy to make the right decision. This is especially true for addicts learning to live by spiritual principles for the first time. In addiction, we developed self-destructive, anti-social impulses. When conflict arose, we took our cues from those negative impulses. Our disease didn't prepare us to make sound decisions.

Today, to find the direction we need, we ask our Higher Power. We stop; we pray; and, quietly, we listen within for guidance. We've come to believe that we can rely on a Power greater than ourselves. That Power is accessible to us whenever we need it. All we need do is pray for knowledge of our God's will for u and the power to carry it out.

Each time we do this, each time we find direction amidst our confusion, our faith grows. The more we rely on our Higher Power, the easier it becomes to ask for direction: We've found the Power we were lacking in our addiction, a Power that available to us at all times. To find the direction we need to live fully and grow spiritually, all we have to do is maintain contact with the God of our understanding.

Just for Today: My Higher Power is a source of spiritual guidance within me that I can always draw upon. When I lad direction today. I will ask for knowledge of my Higher Power will.

Don't leave home without it!

[majestyjo]

November 06, 2014

Understanding humility
Page 324

"Humility is a result of getting honest with ourselves."

Basic Text p. 35

Humility was an idea so foreign to most of us that we ignored it as long as we could. When we first saw the word "humbly" ahead in Step Seven, we may have figured it meant we had quite a bit of humiliation in store. Perhaps we chose to look it up in the dictionary, only to become even more confused by the definition. We didn't understand how "lowliness and subservience" applied to recovery.

To be humble does not mean we are the lowest form of life. On the contrary, becoming humble means we attain a realistic view of ourselves and where we fit in the world. We grow into a state of awareness founded on our acceptance of all aspects of ourselves. We neither deny our good qualities nor overemphasize our defects. We honestly accept who we are.

No one of us will ever attain a state of perfect humility. But we can certainly strive to honestly admit our faults, accept our assets, and rely on our Higher Power as a source of strength. Humility doesn't mean we have to crawl life's path on our hands and knees; it just means we must admit we cannot recover on our own. We need each other and, above all, we need the power of a loving God.

Just for Today: To be humble, I will honestly accept all facets of myself, seeing my true place in the world. For the strength I need to fill that place, I will rely on the God of my understanding, not only of myself, the program and of life as a whole.

To get honest with myself, I had to admit that I didn't know it all, and that I had to remain teachable. I had to be open to new things. I had to be open to new ideas and concepts. I had to take an honest look at me, and found myself in the rooms of recovery.

[majestyjo]

November 07, 2014

Feeling God's will

Page 325

"I sincerely believed that a Higher Power could restore my sanity and that I would stop trying to figure out what God's will was, just accept things for what they were, and be grateful."

Basic Text p. 198

The longer we stay clean, the less surely we "know" what our Higher Power's will for us is-and the less it matters. Knowledge of our Higher Power's will becomes less a "knowing" thing and more a "feeling" thing. We still practice the Eleventh Step faithfully. But rather than look for "signs" from our Higher Power, we begin to rely more on our intuition, trusting our feelings about what will make us comfortable.

After staying clean a few years, what we do seem to know is when we are acting against God's will for us. When we are going against God's will, we get that old uncomfortable feeling in our gut. That queasiness is a warning that, if we continue in this direction, ahead lie many sleepless nights. We need to pay attention to such feelings, for they are often signals that we are acting contrary to our Higher Power's will for us.

Our Eleventh Step clearly states the true goal of prayer and meditation: improvement of our conscious contact with the God of our understanding, bringing us clearer knowledge of our Higher Power's will for us and the power to carry it out. We know God's will most clearly by how it feels, not by "signs' or words-and it feels right.

Just for Today: will pray for the knowledge of my Higher Power's will for me and the power to carry it out. I will pay attention to my feelings, and act when they feel right.

When it feels right, there is a good chance it is God's Will. Unless I am so ingrained in my own old ways and it feels comfortable, and I haven't changed anything since I got clean and sober, then how would I know the difference.

I pray for the knowledge to know the difference.

[majestyjo]

November 08, 2014

Freed from insanity

Page 326

"Do I believe it would be insane to walk up to someone and say, "May I please have a heart attack or a fatal accident."

Basic Text p.23

We've heard it said that unless we're in love, we can't remember what love feels like. The same could be said of insanity: Once we're freed of it, we may forget how truly bizarre our insane thinking can be. But to be grateful for the degree of sanity to which we've been restored in Narcotics Anonymous, we need to remember just how truly insane we've been.

Today, it may be hard to imagine saying something as ridiculous as, "May I please have a heart attack or a fatal accident?" No one in their right mind is going to ask for such things. And that's the point. In our active addiction, we were not in our right mind. Each day we practiced our addiction, we courted fatal disease, degradation, exploitation, impoverishment, imprisonment, death by violence, even death by sheer stupidity. In that context, the idea of asking for a heart attack or a fatal accident doesn't sound all that far out. That's how insane we've been.

The program, the fellowship, and our Higher power-together, they've worked a miracle. The Second Step is not a vain hope-it is reality. Knowing the degree of the insanity we've experienced, we can appreciate all the more the miraculous Power that has restored us thus far to sanity. For that, we are truly grateful.

Just for Today: I will take some time to recall how insane I've been while practicing my addiction. Then, I will thank my Higher Power for the sanity that's been restored to my life.

A program of daily gratitude and as a friend said to me many years ago, "It says, "It could restore you, doesn't say it would completely restore you to sanity!"

[majestyjo]

November 09, 2014

The best-laid plans

Page 327

"It is our actions that are important. We leave the results to our Higher Power."

Basic Text p. 88

There's an old saying we sometimes hear in our meetings: "If you want to make God laugh, make plans." When we hear this we usually laugh, too, but there's a nervous edge to our laughter. We wonder if all of our carefully laid plans are doomed to fail. If we're planning a big event-a wedding, a return to school, or perhaps a career change-we begin to wonder if our plans are the same as our Higher Power's plans. We are capable of working ourselves into such a frenzy of worry over this question that we refuse to make any plans at all.

But the simple fact is that we really don't know whether our Higher Power's plans for our lives are carved in stone or not. Most of us have opinions about fate and destiny but, whether we believe in such theories or not, we still have a responsibility to live our lives and make plans for the future. If we refuse to accept responsibility for our lives, we're still making plans-plans for a shallow, boring existence.

What we make in recovery are plans, not results. We'll never know whether the marriage, the education, or the new job is going to work out until we try it. We simply exercise our best judgment, check with our sponsor, pray, use all the information at hand, and make the most reasonable plans we can. For the rest, we trust in the loving care of the God of our understanding, knowing that we've acted responsibly.

Just for Today: I will make plans, but I will not plan the result & I will trust in my Higher Power's loving care.

As the saying goes, "If you want to see God laugh, tell Him you plans. I don't know if He laughs or not. I just know that most times, we are not on the same page and I often wonder if we are reading from the same book. Probably not, as I tend to read mysteries and He knows and I go around in the dark.

[majestyjo]

November 10, 2014

Fear or faith?

Page 328

"No matter how far we ran, we always carried fear with us."

Basic Text p. 14

For many of us, fear was a constant factor in our lives before we came to Narcotics Anonymous. We used because we were afraid to feel emotional or physical pain. Our fear of people and situations gave us a convenient excuse to use drugs. A few of us were so afraid of everything that we were unable even to leave our homes without using first.

As we stay clean, we replace our fear with a belief in the fellowship, the steps, and a Higher Power. As this belief grows, our faith in the miracle of recovery begins to color all aspects of our lives. We start to see ourselves differently. We realize we are spiritual beings, and we strive to live by spiritual principles.

The application of spiritual principles helps eliminate fear from our lives. By refraining from treating other people in harmful or unlawful ways, we find we needn't fear how we will be treated in return. As we practice love, compassion, understanding, and patience in our relationships with others, we are treated in turn with respect and consideration. We realize these positive changes result from allowing our Higher Power to work through us. We come to believe-not to think, but to believe-that our Higher Power wants only the best for us. No matter what the circumstances, we find we can walk in faith instead of f

Just for Today: I no longer need to run in fear, but can walk in faith that my Higher Power has only the best in store for me.

Have sworn I had faith only to find that I had an underlying fear that I didn't realize I had. Thank God for this program and the 12 Steps.

[majestyjo]

November 11, 2014

From surrender to acceptance

Page 329

"We surrender quietly and let the God of our understanding take care of us."

Basic Text p. 26

Surrender and acceptance are like infatuation and love. Infatuation begins when we encounter someone special. Infatuation requires nothing but the acknowledgement of the object of our infatuation. For infatuation to become love, however, requires a great deal of effort. That initial connection must be slowly, patiently nurtured into a lasting, durable bond.

It's the same with surrender and acceptance. We surrender when we acknowledge our powerlessness. Slowly, we come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can give us the care we need. Surrender turns to acceptance when we let this Power into our lives. We examine ourselves and let our God see us as we are. Having allowed the God of our understanding access to the depths of ourselves, we accept more of God's care. We ask this Power to relieve us of our shortcomings and help us amend the wrongs we've done. Then, we embark on a new way of life, improving our conscious contact and accepting our Higher Power's continuing care, guidance, and strength.

Surrender, like infatuation, can be the beginning of a lifelong relationship. To turn surrender into acceptance, however, we must let the God of our understanding take care of us each day.

Just for Today: My recovery is more than infatuation. I have surrendered. Today, I will nurture my conscious contact with my Higher Power and accept that Power's continuing care for me.

Amen!

[majestyjo]

November 12, 2014

Our own story

Page 330

"When we honestly tell our own story, someone else may identify with us."

Basic Text p. 95

Many of us have heard truly captivating speakers at Narcotics Anonymous conventions. We remember the audience alternating between tears of identification and joyous hilarity. "Someday," we may think, "I'm going to be a main speaker at a convention, too."

Well, for many of us, that day has yet to arrive. Once in awhile we may be asked to speak at a meeting near where we live. We might speak at a small convention workshop. But after all this time, we're still not "hot" convention speakers-and that's okay. We've learned that we, too, have a special message to share, even if it's only at a local meeting with fifteen or twenty addicts in attendance.

Each of us has only our own story to tell; that's it. We can't tell anyone else's story. Every time we get up to speak, many of us find all the clever lines and funny stories seem to disappear from our minds. But we do have something to offer. We carry the message of hope-we can and do recover from our addiction. And that's enough.

Just for Today: I will remember that my honest story is what I share the best. Today, that's enough.

As they say, if you stick around the rooms long enough, you will hear your story told. I heard my story told in AA and in CA, by an alcoholic and a heroin addict, a substance I never used, which showed me that it wasn't what we used, it was why we used and the journey we took to get to the doors of recovery, and the path we took to get clean and sober. It was so important for me to identify not compare.

[majestyjo]

November 13, 2014

Not perfect

Page 331

"We are not going to be perfect. If we were perfect, we would not be human."

Basic Text p. 30

All of us had expectations about life in recovery. Some of us thought recovery would suddenly make us employable or able to do anything in the world we wanted to do. Or maybe we imagined perfect ease in our interactions with others. When we stop and think, we realize that we expected recovery would make us perfect. We didn't expect to continue making many mistakes. But we do. That's not the addict side of us showing through; that's being human.

In Narcotics Anonymous we strive for recovery, not perfection. The only promise we are given is freedom from active addiction. Perfection is not an attainable state for human beings; it's not a realistic goal. What we often seek in perfection is freedom from the discomfort of making mistakes. In return for that freedom from discomfort, we trade our curiosity, our flexibility, and the room to grow.

We can consider the trade: Do we want to live the rest of our lives in our well-defined little world, safe but perhaps stifled? Or do we wish to venture out into the unknown, take a risk, and reach for everything life has to offer?

Just for Today: I want all that life has to offer me and all that recovery can provide. Today, I will take a risk, try something new, and grow.

We are only human, and to err is human. Just because I make a mistake, doesn't mean I am one. Progress, not perfection. Each day is a promise and an opportunity to try again to the best of my ability.

[majestyjo]

November 14, 2014

Not just surviving

Page 332

"When we were using, our lives became an exercise in survival. Now we are doing much more living than surviving."

Basic Text p. 50

"I'd be better off dead!" A familiar refrain to a practicing addict, and with good reason. All we had to look forward to was more of the same miserable existence. Our hold on life was weak at best. Our emotional decay, our spiritual demise, and the crushing awareness that nothing would ever change were constants. We had little hope and no concept of the life we were missing out on.

The resurrection of our emotions, our spirits, and our physical health takes time. The more experience we gain in living, rather than merely existing, the more we understand how precious and delightful life can be. Traveling, playing with a small child, making love, expanding our intellectual horizons, and forming relationships are among the endless activities that say, "I'm alive:' We discover so much to cherish and feel grateful to have a second chance.

If we had died in active addiction, we would have been bitterly deprived of so many of life's joys. Each day we thank a Power greater than ourselves for another day clean and another day of life.

Just for Today: I am grateful to be alive. I will do something today to celebrate.

Never thought of it as just surviving prior to recovering. I was told that my survivor side was my masculine side. When I did a meditation one day, I was told that my feminine side as languishing. I love that word, so descriptive, and yet wasn't too up on feminine things. The next thing I new a friend I knew a friend delivered three boxes of clothes that no longer fit her and inside were skirts and dresses, something I hadn't worn for years. I was raised to be a lady and I got to resent her when she came out. Again, as they said, I had to change my attitude in order to bring about my recovery.

[majestyjo]

November 15, 2014

Letting go

Page 333

"Take my will and my life. Guide me in my recovery. Show me how to live."

Basic Text p. 25

How do we begin the process of letting our Higher Power guide our lives? When we seek advice about situations that trouble us, we often find that our Higher Power works through others. When we accept that we don't have all the answers, we open ourselves to new and different options. A willingness to let go of our preconceived ideas and opinions opens the channel for spiritual guidance to light our way.

At times, we must be driven to the point of distraction before we are ready to turn difficult situations over to our Higher Power. Anxiously plotting, struggling, planning, worrying-none of these suffice. We can be sure that if we turn our problems over to our Higher Power, through listening to others share their experience or in the quiet of meditation, the answers will come.

There is no point in living a frantic existence. Charging through life like the house is on fire exhausts us and gets us nowhere. In the long run, no amount of manipulation on our part will change a situation. When we let go and allow ourselves access to a Higher Power, we will discover the best way to proceed. Rest assured, answers derived from a sound spiritual basis will be far superior to any answers we could concoct on our own.

Just for Today: I will let go and let my Higher Power guide my life.

It was the opening prayer mentioned here that attracted me to NA, that an the Just for Today reading that is part of the meeting format.

Anything that got me out of the way, was a good thing. It still holds true in today. I can't let go if I keep meddling in what is God's Work.

[majestyjo]

November 16, 2014

Alone no more

Page 334

"We gradually and carefully pull ourselves out of the isolation and loneliness of addiction and into the mainstream of life."

Basic Text p. 35

Many of us spent much of our using time alone, avoiding other people-especially people who were not using-at all costs. After years of isolation, trying to find a place for ourselves in a bustling, sometimes boisterous fellowship is not always easy. We may still feel isolated, focusing on our differences rather than our similarities. The overwhelming feelings that often arise in early recovery-feelings of fear, anger, and mistrust-can also keep us isolated. We may feel like aliens but we must remember, the alienation is ours, not NA's.

In Narcotics Anonymous, we are offered a very special opportunity for friendship. We are brought together with people who understand us like no one else can. We are encouraged to share with these people our feelings, our problems, our triumphs, and our failures. Slowly, the recognition and identification we find in NA bridge the lonely gap of alienation in our hearts. As we've heard it said-the program works, if we let it.

Just for Today: The friendship of other members of the fellowship is a life-sustaining gift. I will reach out for the friendship that's offered in NA, and accept it.

Will never forget the day I lost my little black book of telephone numbers that I had gotten from members in the program. I was sure I was going to relapse without them. I has this overwhelming fear, that without them, because I just knew I couldn't do it on my own. I was very fortunate, another time my God looked after me. I was living with an alcoholic and she had copied most of my telephone numbers into her phone directory and I was able to retrieve most of them. Phone #s and the fellowship of the program were there for me when I couldn't be there for myself. My God put some wonderful people in my life.

[majestyjo]

November 17, 2014

Walking through the pain

Page 335

"We never have to use again, no matter how we feel. All feelings will eventually pass."

Basic Text p. 79

It hurts like never before. You get out of bed after a sleepless night, talk to God, and still don't feel any better. "It will pass;' a little voice tells you. "When?" you wonder, as you pace and mutter and get on with your day.

You sob in your car and turn the radio all the way up so you can't hear your own thoughts. But you go straight to work, and don't even think about using drugs.

Your insides feel as though they've been torched. Just when the pain becomes unbearable, you go numb and silent. You go to a meeting and wish you were as happy as other members seem to be. But you don't relapse.

You cry some more and call your sponsor. You drive to a friend's house and don't even notice the beautiful scenery because your inner landscape is so bleak. You may not feel any better after visiting your friend-but at least you didn't visit the connection instead.

You listen to a Fifth Step. You share at a meeting. You look at the calendar and realize you've gotten through another day clean.

Then one day you wake up, look outside, and realize it's a beautiful day. The sun is shining. The sky is blue. You take a deep breath, smile again, and know that it really does pass.

Just for Today: No matter how I feel today, I'll go on with my recovery.

Had a recovery day, only did it differently today. Took a day off the computer as I wasn't feeling well. Still not feeling up to par, but can't let a day go by without the readings.

[majestyjo]

November 18, 2014

Self-discovery

Page 336

"The Tenth Step can help us correct our living problems and prevent their recurrence."

Basic Text p. 41

Our identities, how we think and feel, have been shaped by our experiences. Some of our experiences have made us better people; others have caused us shame or embarrassment; all of them have influenced who we are today. We can take advantage of the knowledge gained in examining our mistakes, using this wisdom to guide the decisions we'll make today.

Acceptance of ourselves means accepting all aspects of ourselves-our assets, our defects, our successes, and our failures. Shame and guilt left unaddressed can paralyze us, preventing us from moving forward in our lives. Some of the most meaningful amends we can make for the mistakes of our past are made simply by acting differently today. We strive for improvement and measure our success by comparing who we used to be with who we are now.

Being human, we will continue making mistakes; however, we need not make the same ones over and over again. By looking over our past and realizing that we have changed and grown, we'll find hope for the future. The best is yet to come.

Just for Today: I will do the best I can with what I have today. Each day I'll learn something new that will help me tomorrow.

Always like to say, living in today a moment at a time, trying to be a better me give me a hope for a better tomorrow. If I am aware in today, if I take that daily inventory, mine not that of others, then I am better qualified at putting that next food forward.

[majestyjo]

November 19, 2014

The language of empathy

Page 337

".... the addict would find from the start as much identification as each needed to convince himself that he could stay clean, by the example of others who had recovered for many years. "

Basic Text p. 85

Many of us attended our first meeting and, not being entirely sure that NA was for us, found much to criticize. Either we felt as though no one had suffered like we had or that we hadn't suffered enough. But as we listened we started to hear something new, a wordless language with its roots in recognition, belief, and faith: the language of empathy. Desiring to belong, we kept listening.

We find all the identification we need as we learn to understand and speak the language of empathy. To understand this special language, we listen with our hearts. The language of empathy uses few words; it feels more than it speaks. It doesn't preach or lecture-it listens. It can reach out and touch the spirit of another addict without a single spoken word.

Fluency in the language of empathy comes to us through practice. The more we use it with other addicts and our Higher Power, the more we understand this language. It keeps us coming back.

Just for Today: I will listen with my heart. With each passing day, I will become more fluent in the language of empathy.

One addict sharing with another addict, carrying the message of recovery.

[majestyjo]

November 20, 2014

Finding fulfillment

Page 338

"We weren't oriented toward fulfillment; we focused on the emptiness and worthlessness of it all."

Basic Text p. 86

There were probably hundreds of times in our active addiction when we wished we could become someone else. We may have wished we could trade places with someone who owned a nice car or had a larger home, a better job, a more attractive mate-anything but what we had. So severe was our despair that we could hardly imagine anyone being in worse shape than ourselves.

In recovery, we may find we are experiencing a different sort of envy. We may continue to compare our insides with others' outsides and feel as though we still don't have enough of anything. We may think everyone, from the newest member to the oldest old-timer, sounds better at meetings than we do. We may think that everyone else must be working a better program because they have a better car, a larger home, more money, and so on.

The recovery process experienced through our Twelve Steps will take us from an attitude of envy and low self-esteem to a place of spiritual fulfillment and deep appreciation for what we do have. We find that we would never willingly trade places with another, for what we have discovered within ourselves is priceless.

Just for Today: There is much to be grateful for in my life. I will cherish the spiritual fulfillment I have found in recovery.

When we take away the drug(s), we are filled with a void. We find ourselves reaching out for something that is no longer there and we feel something is missing and we search for other thing things. We need to look for spiritual and healthy things, to fill us up. We need to build ourselves up mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically to become whole.