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Post by mender1 on Jun 20, 2004 8:30:55 GMT -5
This life I live today
I live a life of sobriety today, there once was a time when I could not make it thru a day.
Could not comprehend not using ,
if I did not have it I looked for it ,it took up a great part of my life.
Always searching
I could not live a day without using something .
Today I look back and wonder how I survived.
there are many times my addiction put me in danger and life threatening position's.
It was the driving force of existance all thing's includeded drinking and drugging and if it did not I was not a part of it.
Today I see I can enjoy without
I am grateful for this program it gave me a life once again that is not controled by addiction.
My life is under the grace of recovery ,
a gift given to me by the many who came before me.
There are those who gave thier lives proveing this program works.
There are those who went back out and proved what does not work.
I have learned from both, I want a life that says I am sober I am grateful
That I give hope to the newcomer.
When I came to this program I ws beaten
no hope no direction except down.
Someone was standing at the door willing to help the hopeless
Willing to give in order for someone to be able to see a glimer of hope.
I have to remember where I came from and what a battle it was to surrender.
I must be there holding out my hand as someone was for me.
I can only keep what I have if I am willing to give it to someone who needs it.
I can have a life
AA is not my life but it has given me mine back.
The newcomer is what helps me stay sober so I must lend a hand in that direction.
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Post by TxRainwater on Jun 20, 2004 10:29:33 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing Owen!
I too don't know how I survived before coming to this time. I know it was living only surviving. Thoughts of drinking filled my mind.
Today 'life thoughts' fill my mind.
I am so thankful that there was a hand reaching out and willing to help when I asked....no I BEGGED for help this time.
I came in totally beaten by this disease....mentally, physically and spiritually bankrupt. I had no life.
Today, only about 11 months sober I have a life that is worth living. I continue to do what was suggested to me by the fellowship, those who share with me their experience, strength and hope and it works for me today.
What a difference my total outlook is on life today.....has to be a 'god thing'.
Have a super sober day!!!
Love and light,
Brenda
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Post by ~graced~ on Jun 20, 2004 23:15:33 GMT -5
Hey Owen...thanks for the share, truly!
This mornings 24 Hour reading was on giving back--"Let us have a purpose for each day and let us make that purpose for something greater than just ourselves." Boy....take me back to those times when it truly was all about MEMEME and what was in it for me. If there was no direct benifit, there was no participation from me. No thanks...I'd pass every time. Or at the very best, I'd make it look self sacrificing, but the motives behind involving myself sucked--I was plotting ahead in how I could later call in the markers cuz they'd 'owe me'.
There's a higher purpose in working those steps--at least that's what's I've awakened to. That's why it's pretty necessary to practice those principles in all my affairs....I never get to know whose life I'll be touching, what impact I'll have in the life of another human being. Another alcoholic or not, I'll get to cross paths with numerous folks during the course of the 24 hours I have laid in front of me. What message am I going to leave them with? What experience? Will I open doors or close them...will I avail myself to be of service or not?
I like a purpose filled life today. I recall that wandering, that despair that came with not knowing what the point in it all was. The steps brought me ultimate truths about MEMEME, not all ones I wanted to see--and some of them downright painful to look at. They were required to be seen--it was all a part of the process that brought me here.
And here is purpose....here is a life filled with peace and a clarity of how awesome G-d is AND how awesome His children are!
Pretty cool to be ABLE to pass that on today....and we're graced that we 'get to', eh?
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Post by ChrisK on Jun 21, 2004 12:04:00 GMT -5
Owen, it doesn't even have to be a newcommer. I got an e-mail this morning from someone in the program this morning. She said, she'd went out and drank this weekend. LOL I'm not going to say anything to her. I believe that old saying about nothing worse then a belly full of beer and a head full of AA.
An old timer had a relapse shortly after I got in the program. He'd quit taking his medication for being Bi-Polar started drinking and set an apartment building on fire. That has left a lasting impression on me. I don't want to take the chance again.
pain brought me into this program. Fear of relapse keeps me going to a meeting. I know what I am. I'm an alcoholic. I ever take a drink I lose all control of what might happen. That old saying of I know, I've got another relapse do I have another recovery stays in my mind constant. I can't remember, where i was at or, if it was in the daily readings about all of our cliche's
they're a daily reminder. One day at a time, time takes time, easy does it etc.
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Post by lala on Jun 22, 2004 13:39:38 GMT -5
sometimes i feel like i dont have anything to give beings i only been sober allmost six months but ive been told that i do have somethin to give back simply just connecting with other alkies and sharing experience strenth and hope is giving back in my using and abusing days all i did was take take take and ive been givin so much in sobriety i want to just give as much as i can i do service work alot wich i feel is vital to recovery but most of all i stay connected and share when i can ive learned so much in sobriety and i know you cant keep what you have unless you give it away ...............lala
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Post by ChrisK on Jun 22, 2004 14:01:48 GMT -5
Just being in the seat helps. This is a we program. I can't have a meeting by myself. We feed off each other. I learn from everyone in the program.
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Post by lildee on Jun 22, 2004 14:06:02 GMT -5
Amen to that. And we learn from both sides of the fence.
We are all just people struggling in our own ways to live peacefully in this world.
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Post by mender1 on Jun 23, 2004 21:18:05 GMT -5
We all have something to give
we all share the same 24 hours
the 11.5 years I have of yesterday in sobriety is not apart of this 24 hours.
Tomorow is not here for me to have yet.
So no matter if you have 1 day or 25 years we all have something to give that someone needs
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Post by caressa on May 30, 2009 7:14:25 GMT -5
This is an awesome quote. I don't remember ever hearing it put just that way before. I don't know how I missed it, it sure must have been a mender original. I went to two meetings (sometimes three) a day for two years and heard a lot of things and yet never heard someone say those words in that particular way.
My sponsor told me all I had to do was suit up, show up and sit in a chair. If you have recovery, show it! The rest will take care of itself!
Someone when he came in, he said hello around the room and when he got to me he said, "Good moring, how are you?" Then he said, "That is a dumb question, you are always good. You are always cheerful." Back then I didn't know better. I was hurt and felt centered out and thought I had done something wrong. Recovery was so much better than before and I was grateful for each day sober. I had been one step off of the streets, I had a lot to be grateful for. A lot to cheer about. The program continued to give me many blessings. I had under two years sobriety and the man had 20+ years. He was a real hard core and told it like it was and I liked him for that. He told me many years later, "You did good kid! I have been watching you. You have been doing the do things."
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.