powerless

[lala]

i am experiencing a degree of powerlessness my son had his first run in with the law and showed no remorse it has been a rude reminder of how it all started for me however i know theres only so much i can do but it pains me to see him headed down that road i was once on i thank god today that i have the fellowsip of aa to help me live i know today i dont have to drink to escape the pain and i can deal with these things as they come about the best i can and let god do the rest thank for letting me share.........lala

[Kathleen]

Well good afternoon lala, I just love that name of your's lol hmm what a wonderful subject powerlessness. ;D

well you can call your sponsor and talk about this matter if it is really getting to you. I can remeber when I thought that my youngest daughter was going to go down the same path that I had walked befor coming to recovery my self. But time showed me it was not my path she was going to go down, but her own path. She does not have a proble with booz, or drugs, and her probles with just living life are getting better as she gets older. Don't get me wrong here, she and I had out times, and she had a I don't care attude at one time too. But she got older and wiser. I know this is not helping you, and I am just raddleing on.

The only way some one can lean by there misstakes, is to deal with the punishment that comes with it. The harder the punishment, the more I don't think he will wont to get into trouble again. A little bit of swet and hard work, never heart any one. I found with raising a boy it was diffrant than having girls. Boys like to get scrapes and get scared up, it is like having a badge of owner, scrazy I know but troue. So if a boy gets in trouble with or in front of there friends, it is like getting a badge. Some thing that brings attaction to them. So if the prise that they have to pay for the crim is paid with allot of hard work to get out of this trouble, the attaction or badge wont be worth it. Maybe I am not making any cents. I am just thinking out loud. I know for me when my youngest was giving me allot of greef I DID allot of PRAYING, and things worded out.

I love you lots Kathleen

[lildee]

Well howdy Kathleen,

Well, well, well. Good to see you up and about. Called you a couple of weeks ago and got the machine. Left word and prayers for you. Hope all is well with you now. Tickled pink to see you back. Missed you bunches. Still in my prayers.

Love you and God Bless
Arlene

[ChrisK]

it's hard ot let your kids grow up. you do the best you can and let them fly. No one ever balied me out. i paid my own fines. I finally got tired of paying the county all my paycheck.
Onwe night in a drunk tank was good enough for me. I do hold respect for the police. i'd hate to have their jobs

[~graced~]

(((((((((((Lala))))))))))))

I feel your pain.... I've been living this one for the past few years with the boy. I got to get a bigger sense of what it was that I put my own father through when it was me doing the acting out and running out of control and into the disease. I thought I knew how powerless he felt....going through it with the child in this house gave me a bigger sense of it. The guilt was horrid for a while. I try not to go there today. He'll get to go places he'll get to go. I had to...not fun watching your own kiddo go places you've gone, though. Boy, did it bring clarity of my own tornado that swirled through the lives of others, unrelentlessly. I don't know if your kiddos is dabbling in the disease....I only know the pain of wanting more for your child and the hurt your heart goes through.

Can I just assure you that it ain't about you being a bad mom? I know folks made sure that I heard that message. I sure couldn't wear it for some time, but I needed to hear it. Nope, I didn't do it perfectly--but it ain't about 'bad mom, bad person, bad, bad, bad....'

*huge hugs*

[ChrisK]

omg I CAN'T IMAGINE, I don't know if, i could of handled my kids putting me through what iput my mother through. I've been lucky so far. It seems like my childeren have grown up in the blink of an eye. I sure do have a deeper sense of appreciation for each 24 hours sober

[lala]

thank you all for your replys and yes i agree this all reminds me of the hell i put my parents through so now i think twice before i act. even now that im sober i am still capable of hurting people only i choose not too on purpose anyway........i have to give this situation with my son to god for he knows the way i dont im just here to follow thru with his will for me and my son ..........lala

[TxRainwater]

I do remember similar situations with my daughter, I allowed her to make her own mistakes and pay her own way. Thankfully there weren't many and none so life-threatening that I had to intervene.
I don't even like to think about my parents and all that they went through!
My son went to live with his dad in the joint custody thing when he was five yrs old, so his dad raised him while I ran the streets. How I wish now, that I could've
even been a part of that 'oneriness'.
Now to watch my children dealing with theirs seems to be harder NOT to intervene.....such a change.
Just very grateful to be sober today and glad that you guys are here so that I can share AND gain some e/s/h here.

Love and light,
Brenda

[majestyjo]

A lot of gratitude for this program. During my journey I have had to walk on both dudes of the street, as a daughter, spouse, mother.

I qualified long before I found the doors of recovery. The people in the rooms loved me back to good health.