Grief and Pain kept me using

[caressa]

We go through a grieving process daily. Even more so during the holiday season, especially if we are alone.

Those of us who suffer from chronic pain, no matter what the source of that pain, goes through the grieving of:

1) What was, prior to our disability which causes our pain

2) What it use to be like, if we are so fortunate not to have been
born with our challenges.

3) What we use to be able to do and can no longer.

4) The loss of our routine, mobility, memory, jobs, relationships,
friends, family, etc.

You can probably add to my list, and please do. This was made just to make you aware, and to start you thinking, so you recognize that often grief and the feelings of often trigger more pain.

When we don't deal with our grief issues and keep things inside, we add more pain.

My pain was the root of my addiction. I tried to cover up and not feel it instead of looking at what caused it and what could be changed within me because so often emotional pain makes itself known physically. That can be a two way street as well.

As my chiropractor said many times over the years, "A healthy mind makes for a healthy body. I have never met someone who is so in tune with herself and her body. I can trust you." Not words you expect to hear after many years of addiction. That is why my Christmas hug from him was special.



The sleeping cat may seem out of context, but the fact was, I used my bed for years to hide from the world and myself.

[majestyjo]

Pain was a big issue and one of the reasons I reach for pills. I was put on Valium at 16. They didn't know what was causing my pain.

I was told at the treatment center I went to, "The body manufactures the pain to tell you that you need more." It sure explained how my drug of choice became more. My slogan was "Some is good, more is better." I learned that if some doesn't work, more isn't going to make it better.

It wasn't the drug and alcohol that was the problem, it was the thinking behind my using. That is why I have to remember, "Let it begin with me." It is about me and my attitude. If I can't find it within myself, how can I give to others. I found this out because every time I heard the word 'compassion,' I would cringe. The reason being was the fact that I couldn't find it within or for myself. How can you give and know what you don't know and haven't been taught.

I had to accept my addiction.  I had to accept the program of recovery and apply it to my life.  I had to accept that I couldn''t do it by myself.

[caressa222]

I am powerless over people, places and things. When abuse any of those things and make it my drug of choice in today, my life becomes unmanageable and I suffer pain. When I surrender, I am empowered to live my life not always pain free, but I can manage my pain without Narcotics. When I can think through my pain, I figure I am having a good day.🙇‍♂️😲🧓