Through Other People's Eyes

[caressa]

This reminds me that this program is one of reflection. I found myself by sharing with others at meetings, doing Step work. Many times I would get stuff and that old adage would come to mind, "Look at who you are pointing a finger at." Whether it is a positive or a negative that you see in someone else, it is a mirrored image of you. It takes one to know one.

I was told that I may be the only example of recovery that someone sees. What message am I carrying? Do people look at me and say, "I want what she has?" I have to ask myself, "What do people see when they look at me?"

We do recover. We do recover from that hopeless state of mind and body. My disease does not go away, but my dis-ease can and will if I work the Steps in today. A friend keeps asking me what Step I am on. I keep replying, "Some days, all Twelve!"


eor.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=spuds&action=display&thread=10300

[majestyjo]

December 29

Through Others' Eyes

"When someone points out a shortcoming, our first reaction may be defensive....[But] if we truly want to be free, we will take a good look at input from fellow addicts."

Basic Text pg. 35

At some point in our recovery, we come to the awkward realization that the way we see ourselves is not necessarily the way others do. We are probably neither as bad, as good, as beautiful, or as ugly as we think we are - but we are too close to ourselves to really tell for sure. That's where our friends in the program come in, caring enough to share with us what they see when they look in our direction. They tell us the good things about ourselves we might not know - and they tell us the hard things, too, that we might not be able to see.

We may react defensively to such "help" and, in some cases, justly so. However, even malicious remarks about our supposed shortcomings can shed light on aspects of our recovery that we cannot see ourselves. Wherever a useful insight comes from, for whatever reason it is offered, we cannot afford to discount it.

We don't need to wait for others to spontaneously offer their insight. When we spend time with our sponsor or other NA members we trust, we can make the first move and ask them to tell us what they see about particular areas of our lives to which we are blind. We want a broader vision of our life than just our own; we can have that vision by seeing ourselves through the eyes of others.

Just for today: I seek to see myself as I truly am. I will listen to what others say about me, and see myself through their eyes.

pg. 379

I found myself reflected in the people around me when I went to meetings.  Each one had a message to carry, how to work my program and how not to work my program.

I took a little from this one, a lot from that one, not much from some, and got a lot of phone numbers.   I watched that their words matched their walk.   Did they live the program or just pay lip service.

I found I had to take the words off the pages of the literature and the words that I heard in meetings, and take them and apply them to my life.  It is one thing to know the words, but mean nothing if not put into action.

[caressa222]

It was important to me to find a sponsor who walked their talk.

Today I picked up a meditation book In God's Care. I thought they had sent me the wrong book because they had changed the cover. The same awesome words were inside. It did, Spirituality in recovery.