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Post by caressa on Feb 2, 2011 15:45:27 GMT -5
Today's Reminder from Courage to Change: My thoughts are my teachers. Are they teaching me to love and appreciate myself and others, or are they teaching me to practice isolation? Today I will choose my teachers with great care. "Live and let live" sets us free from the compulsion to criticize, judge, condemn and retaliate...[which] can damage us far more than those against whom we use such weapons. Al-Anon helps us to learn tolerance rooted in love.
- This Is Al-AnonThis was today's reading and gave me pause for thought. My thoughts are energy and what I think, I put out to the Universe. What I put out comes back to me. So much of it calls for good motive and intent. Do I have good intentions towards myself and others. What is my motive for saying and doing what I do (did)? All pause for thought!  |
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Post by caressa on Feb 3, 2011 23:29:38 GMT -5
When I re-read the quote, the thought that came to mind was, "Just because I had a feeling or a thought, didn't mean I had to act on it. That was something I had done wrong all of my life. I would see or hear and would immediately presume you were looking or talking about me and often in defense, I felt like I had to retaliate.
There was very little stop before you speak. I would hear things and perceive them as derogatory and hurtful, and would either want to pay you back or would burst out in tears and role play to the hilt. All in response to "It is your fault, look at what you made me do, if you hadn't done that, I wouldn't have...."
I took everything personal. I used my thoughts to beat myself up royally and I used your words as I perceived them to be, which were never validated, to put myself down, or I would hit back and put you down to make me feel better.
An ugly world, an unkind place, and I am glad I don't have to go there any more. I don't have to buy into other people's game and I don't have to role play and be someone I am not.
I had to heal those thoughts. I had to change the thinking. I had to allow myself to heal and forgive myself. Often it was my disease acting out. Many times it was all I knew and what I heard growing up and didn't know my thoughts were outdated.
I had to learn to allow others to have their thoughts. I just had to learn not to buy into them and give them power over me. It was important to not give up my own power. Power that I didn't know I had.
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Post by SunnyGirl on Feb 7, 2011 13:37:45 GMT -5
“Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with
my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak.
Probably so we can think twice.” - - Bill Watterson
I've learned that not all of my thoughts are worthy of
sharing with others...... My Grandmother always reminded
us kids: "if you don't have something good to say, don't say
anything at all" Adding my 2 cents into a volatile situation
always comes back on me, so I try to keep my thoughts to
myself.
I still get myself into situations where I feel like I am an referee
in a wrestling match. If I would only remember to "THINK"
before I offer my thoughts I would be so much happier....
Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl
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Post by Lin on Feb 8, 2011 8:01:43 GMT -5
Interesting topic! I totally agree with SG that unless my thoughts are NICE, I really should keep them to myself. Unfortunately, I sometiems engage my mouth before I do my brain. I really needed to read this today and think about it.
We had a tragic situation here a few days ago. A 23 year old young man shot himself in the yard of a church and left a facebook pag abotu the childhood sexual abuse by the church. It's i the paper every day. They keep bringing up all of wha tthey are doing right now. I may have opinions about it, but I try to keep them to myself. Shen he said "I forgive you , Father _____>" it's not my place to even guess how minor or major the offense was. My thoughts on the subject are mine to keep to myself. No need to stir the pot. I work with three of his relatives. I'll let the experts do the investigating and maybe somethign good will come from the tragedy.
LIN
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Post by caressa on Feb 8, 2011 13:18:35 GMT -5
It is sad Lin. My thought is "How many more were there?"
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Post by SunnyGirl on Feb 8, 2011 14:32:20 GMT -5
We had a tragic situation here a few days ago. A 23 year old young man shot himself in the yard of a church and left a facebook pag abotu the childhood sexual abuse by the church. It's i the paper every day. They keep bringing up all of wha tthey are doing right now. I may have opinions about it, but I try to keep them to myself. Shen he said "I forgive you , Father _____>" it's not my place to even guess how minor or major the offense was. My thoughts on the subject are mine to keep to myself. No need to stir the pot. I work with three of his relatives. I'll let the experts do the investigating and maybe somethign good will come from the tragedy. LIN My thoughts are just that, mine..... The pain and suffering this young man and his family have endured is a tragedy and maddening! But, it would have been just as tragic if it had been an uncle or a neighbor who did this to him...... The press is vindictive and trying to totally denigrate in every way the Catholic Church in this country. They have blamed the disease of pedophilia on the Catholic Church, which is as irresponsible as blaming adultery on the institution of marriage. Each person needs to keep his side of the street clean and free from judging and condemning others before all the facts are out. Children are a gift from God and anyone who would harm a child will suffer HIS punishment.... Peace on the journey, SG |
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Post by ~graced~ on Feb 8, 2011 15:11:38 GMT -5
Strange things happen to my thinking. Seriously.......I mean bizarre, out of whack for ME things.
Ya know that first, impulsive 'what are you STUPID' thought that happens when someone fails to use their turn signal and cuts in front of you? I don't have it. *laughing* Seriously. I don't know when it got taken from me.....maybe it was all that practice of 'you don't get to SAY it until it's 'necessary, kind and true--until then, keep your yap shut'!' training I had.
But whatever happened for me, it was a obviously a process. It went from 'I just KNEW you wanted me to tell you the truth!' (yeah, well.......I admit that was egocentric of me...) and I'm just 'tellin' it like it is'! To shushing until I could qualify it under those 'necessary, kind and true' qualifiers...... To--here, I guess.
The Big Book tells me that 'love and tolerance of others is our code' and they weren't foolin'. Neither were the cranky, old fart sponsors who endorsed it with me.......again and again and again...
It also tells me to hand over the defect and He'll take it.
Huh.
Son of a gun........works! :-)
Seriously--it amazes me.
Now, that's not to say I don't have crappy thinking sometimes--I certainly do. That disease is still in me and I'm clear it'd like to win. But today--when it came to reading what Lin shared, and even the other day when it was shared, it was all about G-d's love embracing the family while the other's at home with Him. Cuz ohmygosh how difficult that must be for them.
My thoughts and prayers go to them all.
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Post by caressa on Feb 9, 2011 7:24:56 GMT -5
Have found over the years that I have learned to hesitate and meditate before I speak. That is a real departure from the old me, even in recovery, I wanted to tell people, who it should be done!
For me to walk away and not react was and is a big step for me. I still may come back and share my own experience, strength, and hope. It just won't be done with resentment and anger. I have always been a person who has believed in standing up for what she believes in. For too many years, mum was the word and it all festered inside, only to explode in anger and hate. I am a firm believer in it isn't about what you say, it is about how you say it. When you let go of the anger and always having to be right, things can be stated in truth. Agreeing to disagree was a wonderful tool in recovery.
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Post by SunnyGirl on Feb 9, 2011 14:42:30 GMT -5
"Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and
you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character;
sow a character and you reap a destiny." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am just now beginning to learn to control and direct my
thinking. Of course, I'm still far from being perfect at it. In
fact, most of the time, I get side-tracked and my habit of
auto-pilot thinking kicks in again! When I keep my focus
on recovery and put the steps to work daily, my thoughts
are more worth sharing..... and my life is more serene!
Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 28, 2019 14:58:01 GMT -5
Today I thought I did, but didn't. Probably because I didn't remember. I am reminded of a phrase my aunt use to say, "You know what thought did?". No, you tell me and we will both will know. I know that thought isn't always best followed up with a tion, but I know if I don't do it when I think of it, I forget.  |
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.