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Post by knothead on Sept 22, 2004 0:09:24 GMT -5
This word is bandied about during meetings ad infinitum.
I don't have a problem with it, per se. Just that it is all too often used to desrcibe something that is as far removed from the medical dictionary meaning of relapse as a computer is to an actual grape.
To "relapse" means that one has already had a "remission" of one's disease; and that said remission is no longer occuring.
When a "newbie" says he/she has "relapsed," my personal feeling is that the disease was never in remission. Therefore, they are simply continuing to drink/use, even if they were "dry" for a few days or even weeks. Simply being dry doesn't constitute sobriety by itself.
The only way I personally know of to bring my disease into remission is by working/living the steps laid out for us on daily basis.
I have relapsed on more than one occasion. I can personally attest that my disease was, in fact, in full remission. But I became too comfortable. I forgot that my disease was always knocking on my door. I became complacent. A little by little, I let go of those small, but neccessary things (such as daily meditations & inventories).
"BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD . . . ."
Thanks for letting me share.
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Post by Tiger on Sept 22, 2004 11:22:02 GMT -5
KnotHear writes: I have relapsed on more than one occasion. I can personally attest that my disease was, in fact, in full remission. But I became too comfortable. I forgot that my disease was always knocking on my door. I became complacent. A little by little, I let go of those small, but neccessary things (such as daily meditations & inventories). Hi Knothead, I can identify with your post - been there, done that  Once having gone to AA and keeping it simple IMO the slip begins with the following thought "This time it will be different and at worst I can always come back to AA and get sober again" The result is the "habitual slipper" in and out of AA - what we loose is the continuity of sobriety (week in and out, month in and out, years in and out, even decades in and out)....that is my biggest fear! Eternal Vigilance is the price of sobriety!Tiger |
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Post by preciouschihua on Sept 23, 2004 10:12:09 GMT -5
My biggest fear is loosing the years of sobriety I have worked so hard to accumulate
in a slip
just that one slip is all it would take, I look into the future, like the
next day, even the next minute of what that would mean, and what consequences it would have and the extreemly difficult price to pay for that slip,
I know I am a true blue alcoholic, when I can say, to self, ((as I have done in the past long ago)
oh, I have several years behinde my belt and I am well now?
well now? --- hummmm??? is that right,
so then I have one, uh huh, then 2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and on and on -- I know the ruiteen all too well,
well? as in cured? as in I can handle it now, I will know when to stop,
I will only have just one, I am strong now, know how to handle the
alcoholic in me,
huh !! right!!
--- so thank God I see ahead today, and catch the slips before they even think of slipping,
I would hate to like throw away all the sobriety I have worked so hard to accrue over
relapsing, (one) relapse -- I had many many years ago was enough for me,
It was 10 times harder to overcome -- not counting the medical issues of being clean and sober for so many years then thinking ah, I can handle it,
I have too many
goals and dreams, and challenges looking forward to, than to
just wash it down the tolit that quickly again
Thank you for the post, (((( hugs ))))))
Suzanne
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Post by knothead on Sept 24, 2004 2:41:25 GMT -5
Thanks for the responses!!!! It is good to know that I am not alone in this.
However, I have to say that neither of my relapses really occured as some sort of planned action.
I just got lazy in my program; thought I had it all down. Before I knew it, my disease bit me in my proverbial arse. That simple.
Ego took over.
I had one slip on one occassion, and went to a meeting the next night.
"Cool," I thought. I can drink, and still go to AA meetings.
Then, it started to spiril down that infamous highway of no return.
Sure, I can "prove" to myself that I can drink just "one" one" on a singular occassion. But I always end up being the same drunk/alcoholic I always was. And the results are always the same. Usually worse, to be honest.
The physical consumption alcohol is but symptom of the disease. There is a spiritual hole that needs to be filled.
Thank GOD, I have found it, through living the steps!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by knothead on Sept 25, 2004 2:11:57 GMT -5
Great article concerning this topic in the most recent issue (Oct.) of the AAGrapevine.
Entitled "Why Are We Drinking?"
Boy, oh boy, did I ever relate!!!!!!! (not the "Fortune 500 stuff, but nearly everything else).
"I had one foot in the bar, one foot in AA, and belonged nowhere . . ."
Amazing how one former alkie can help another to achieve sobriety!!!!
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Post by ~graced~ on Sept 25, 2004 16:05:40 GMT -5
Hmmmm.... Well, I gotta say that my 'relapse/slip' starts with my thinking. Laziness/complacency, for me, starts with a thought that I don't somehow NEED to do that at this moment, thanksverymuch. Or plainly--I DON'T WANNA! From there--I'm in deep cah-cah if I don't rethink my position, period. I have a plan for daily living that lays out for me what to do upon rising, what to do during the course of the day, and what to do upon retiring for the evening. If I opt not to do those--I'm messing with the plan for a daily reprieve. I'm just like the heart patient who decides a chocolate bar and a 14 hour work day won't really hurt them. Might not the first time--my problem is, if it doesn't hurt me the first time......it obviously isn't AS bad as they told me so 'pshaw' to what they say! The further I get from THE truth, the closer I get to the bottom line of my disease. I don't trust other people know what they're talking about! I'm an experiential type learner--of the repetitious type. LOL Even then, I'm not guaranting that I won't do it again....that's why I surround myself with folks who'll call it as they see it and remind me that it didn't work the last gazillion times...but "run it til the wheels fall off, if you must". Each and every time I opted to go back out and do it again, I opted to believe that it wouldn't happen for me, that I'd be different, that I didn't really NEED that 'stringent' of a plan for living. That faulty belief is horribly human of me--happens with a whole lot of human beings out there...alcoholics, diabetics, epileptics, heart patients--we all like to believe we're exempt from having to follow the prescription. Call it what you will--I know for me, it's stinking human thinking, whether that be a whisper or a screaming testimony, that brings me to that faulty belief that I can somehow pick up a drink and be 'okay'. It just ain't gonna happen! Leastwise, not for this alcoholic. BTW--relapse means a 'loss of a state of convalescence or repair'(according to Webster). The body starts repairing when I stop drinking. Strange but true! I don't have to have a program of recovery to do that...LOL...I've proven that many times over to myself! *hugs* Now....if I wanna daily reprieve that comes with a new way of living life--I know where to find that and how to do it. I'll even have folks who'll do it WITH me--Ya'll taught me that one! |
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Post by lildee on Sept 28, 2004 10:55:44 GMT -5
TUESDAY , SEPTEMBER 28, 2004
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Life itself is the proper binge.
--Julia Child
The Twelve Steps are a suggested program of recovery, not a cure. We can follow them and live a healed life, but we never develop immunity to our addictions and codependency. We remain vulnerable to slips, binges, and a return to old behaviors. If that has happened to us, our first need is to find a way back to the program. A slip may speak the blatant truth we avoided before. A man's complete honesty following a slip has sometimes been the way to renewed knowledge of his powerlessness. There is no value in feeling more shame and self hate in the aftermath of a slip. We need to accept we are incomplete and imperfect human beings. Recovery will come, not from shame, but from honestly accepting our powerlessness and the help we need.
The promise of recovery in this program, a healed life, is just as available after a slip as it ever was. It takes absolute commitment, a willingness to face the pain and hardship. Then we are freed again to engage fully in the joy and the awe of life.
I ask that my compulsions and my weaknesses be lifted from me. I'm not able to cure myself, but I pray for help.
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Post by Tiger on Sept 28, 2004 12:46:39 GMT -5
Hi Knothead,
Glad you liked "my story" in the Grapevine
One foot in the bar and one foot in AA.....never being happy where I was or who I was!
Tiger
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Post by caressa on Oct 19, 2004 6:49:42 GMT -5
A great topic, thanks everyone for sharing. The words above are what struck home for me. Self-honesty was the thing that I had difficulty with. I am glad I didn't relapse after I got here. I tried my way for eight years so I knew that wasn't an option, but I did hit emotional and spiritual bottoms after I hit a physical bottom.
I also discovered other addictions, and had to deal with those day to day happenings which can get in my way of solid good recovery. Accepting my humanness was not easy, especially when I saw a lot of people using their humanness to stay sick and not make changes in their life.
People would say "I'm an addict'! My response is, "So what are you doing about it?" I have also heard, "Well I'm an addict you know, what do you expect! That is what addicts do!" Well we have a program of tools when applied arrests this disease and we no longer have to act out and live in old behavior, we can change. I am a recovering addict today. A spiritual being learning to live in the real world, not slipping back into the world of illusion and fear, connecting with my Higher Power so I can walk in faith and love.
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 9, 2017 23:15:15 GMT -5
Some good shares here. I am grateful that I found recovery and stayed. I had been trying my way for 8 years, my way didn't work, so I was willing to go to any lengths to stay clean and sober. If I want sobriety, I can't have one or the other, I need to stop ALL mind altering substances. Anything that gets between me and my God and becomes my 'god' of the day.
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Post by caressa222 on Dec 9, 2018 14:32:57 GMT -5
Recently heard someone say that relapse is part of recovery. She didn't like me saying it was part of my disease. Drugs are but a symptom of my dis-ease. It doesn't matter what I pick up, the problem is me.  |
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"Relapse"
Sept 17, 2020 3:41:04 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by majestyjo on Sept 17, 2020 3:41:04 GMT -5
We can relapse mentally, emotionally, and spiritually before we physically.
We can hit a new bottom. I hit a spiritual bottom when I hit my one year. When I came in I was sure I need who God was. I went on a spiritual quest to find out who my God was to me. He had been a. Old tape. He was who others said He was.
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.