Post by caressa on Apr 14, 2011 23:24:58 GMT -5
When I was posting today's reading, I thought "Where did the month go?"
For most of my life, I used to make time disappear. The day was too long. I never seemed to be able to get through a day, an event or an experience, without picking up something to take me out of myself.
I used to make time disappear.
In recovery, there are not enough hours in a day. I think some days I don't sleep because I want to do and don't want the day to go by without accomplishing what I have started.
Prior to recovery, IF I did manage to start something, I seldom finished it. I lost focus and concentration and was often off to the next thing. I was a good instigator but didn't make a good finisher, unless it was a fight and I wanted the last word.
Recovery has given me back a life. It has allowed me to stay in today, and when I slide back into yesterday and project into tomorrow, I am given the tools to ground myself, and bring me back into the moment.
I live one day at a time. Imagine, not enough hours in a day. Who would every have thought it would come to this? In the past I would get caught up in busy, trying to make time go away because I couldn't be by myself. Whether I picked up a person, place or thing, it all helped me to escape me and my reality. I couldn'be be alone with me.
So grateful for the freedom of recovery! It is nice to be able to me alone with me, although sometimes me alone with my thoughts is not good. It use to be bad company. In today, I am aware that I have a disease of perceiption. Some times, that perception is off and I need to check it out with a sponsor, a friend or a counselor.
For most of my life, I used to make time disappear. The day was too long. I never seemed to be able to get through a day, an event or an experience, without picking up something to take me out of myself.
I used to make time disappear.
In recovery, there are not enough hours in a day. I think some days I don't sleep because I want to do and don't want the day to go by without accomplishing what I have started.
Prior to recovery, IF I did manage to start something, I seldom finished it. I lost focus and concentration and was often off to the next thing. I was a good instigator but didn't make a good finisher, unless it was a fight and I wanted the last word.
Recovery has given me back a life. It has allowed me to stay in today, and when I slide back into yesterday and project into tomorrow, I am given the tools to ground myself, and bring me back into the moment.
I live one day at a time. Imagine, not enough hours in a day. Who would every have thought it would come to this? In the past I would get caught up in busy, trying to make time go away because I couldn't be by myself. Whether I picked up a person, place or thing, it all helped me to escape me and my reality. I couldn'be be alone with me.
So grateful for the freedom of recovery! It is nice to be able to me alone with me, although sometimes me alone with my thoughts is not good. It use to be bad company. In today, I am aware that I have a disease of perceiption. Some times, that perception is off and I need to check it out with a sponsor, a friend or a counselor.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.