Post by caressa on Jul 10, 2011 13:38:10 GMT -5
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book"
As you sponsor others, remember this: If you are trying to recreate someone in your own image, then one of you will be redundant.
When I read this, I wondered if this is why I had so many sponsors over the years. I often felt like I outgrew my sponsors. They seemed content to just be in their recovery and didn't have a willingness to keep changing and growing.
A couple of my sponsors I ended up sponsoring them before they passed away. It was great to be given their trust. One sponsor I still talk to and she will call me, and yet our relationship has changed over the years. It was my doing because I had very little tolerance for someone who continued to 'hate' men and continue to hold onto it even though she had 30 years in the program. It never seemed to be tempered and she tried to project her anger onto me, with words what do you expect.
Don't get me wrong, I had anger in that area too. Yet I found myself feeding off of her anger and it wasn't healthy for me.
My sponsor in today has a habit of taking off and landing in California. The one before that travel led all over the world,. The one before that, was in tumultuous or numerous relationships and didn't have time to talk to me. I learned patience and tolerance through them. They taught me it was important to have a strong support group and have a back up plan.
As my spiritual advisor said, "You will learn two things. How to work your program and how not to work your program." Just because it works for someone, doesn't always mean it will work for you. It doesn't mean they are wrong, you just might have to make some adjustments so it fits you. No two people are alike.
It was so important to have a sponsor. Me alone with me is not good company. I may like me and my company but then I don't have anyone to disagree with me and then I would always be right. Heaven forbid! Too many strokes for the ego!
I must remember that it is a disease of perception, no matter what side of the street I am on. I try to remember to take mine to my God for healing and ask for my own truth and walk in it. Having said that, I know that my God puts people, places and things in my path to show me the way.
As you sponsor others, remember this: If you are trying to recreate someone in your own image, then one of you will be redundant.
When I read this, I wondered if this is why I had so many sponsors over the years. I often felt like I outgrew my sponsors. They seemed content to just be in their recovery and didn't have a willingness to keep changing and growing.
A couple of my sponsors I ended up sponsoring them before they passed away. It was great to be given their trust. One sponsor I still talk to and she will call me, and yet our relationship has changed over the years. It was my doing because I had very little tolerance for someone who continued to 'hate' men and continue to hold onto it even though she had 30 years in the program. It never seemed to be tempered and she tried to project her anger onto me, with words what do you expect.
Don't get me wrong, I had anger in that area too. Yet I found myself feeding off of her anger and it wasn't healthy for me.
My sponsor in today has a habit of taking off and landing in California. The one before that travel led all over the world,. The one before that, was in tumultuous or numerous relationships and didn't have time to talk to me. I learned patience and tolerance through them. They taught me it was important to have a strong support group and have a back up plan.
As my spiritual advisor said, "You will learn two things. How to work your program and how not to work your program." Just because it works for someone, doesn't always mean it will work for you. It doesn't mean they are wrong, you just might have to make some adjustments so it fits you. No two people are alike.
It was so important to have a sponsor. Me alone with me is not good company. I may like me and my company but then I don't have anyone to disagree with me and then I would always be right. Heaven forbid! Too many strokes for the ego!
I must remember that it is a disease of perception, no matter what side of the street I am on. I try to remember to take mine to my God for healing and ask for my own truth and walk in it. Having said that, I know that my God puts people, places and things in my path to show me the way.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.