remaining calm....

[SunnyGirl]

It's not always easy to remain calm when there is
chaos all around you.... for me it helps to stay quiet
and take in the lesson!

My younger Sister called me, haven't talked with her
in almost 2 weeks. Our last conversation was not a
good one, but I prided myself for not responding in
a like way. When we spoke last, she kept falling back
into the past and wanting to figure it out, I tried to
suggest that we not go there. I finally asked her if
she had been drinking and that infuriated her..... Her
drinking is none of my business, but I have no desire
to try and have a deep conversation with someone who
is drinking themselves into a major pity party.

When she called me day before yesterday, she wanted
to talk and seemed clear minded so we did! She felt
that I had no business saying anything about her drinking....
and I told her what she did in private in her home is none
of my business and I apologized if she felt I had over
stepped. I did tell her to please call in the mornings, so
we could start the day out fresh!

She feels guilty to ask me for help, but I assured her I
would not offer help if I wasn't happy to make the offer.
The rest of the conversation stayed pretty much in today,
and it was a relief to not go back to the old conversations
about yesterday.

She has little and her Son is limited on how much he can
or will help her.... I want to be able to offer her a ride to
the store or to run errands a couple times a month. If
something important comes up I'll be there.... But I just
can't make myself do it if she is on drugs or booze....
This greatly disturbs me and I don't want it around me.
Doing the best I can, ODAT....

Peace on the journey, SG

[SunnyGirl]

Honey and I went by the younger Sis' apartment
yesterday.... Had stuff to drop off for her, she was
very happy to see us and she looked to be in good
spirits. I sent her some poems and prayers I've
posted here and a bunch of crossword puzzles,
a deck of cards . Also sent some meals I had frozen
for her and some frozen salmon I had bought for her.
Also told her to let me know when she gets her check
and I'd take her to do her big shopping.

All in all it was a good visit and I have no problem
going back a couple or so times during the month.

Have a great Friday, SG

[caressa]

Glad things went well. It isn't easy being there for sisters. I just phoned my sister's place. I thought she told me her surgery was today. I talked to her husband and found out it was yesterday, she is home and she was out in the yard with the kids. She runs a day care center. We are not on the same page. Mainly because she doesn't drink and is very religious. I am a recovering alcoholic who is spiritual and although I never lost my religious beliefs, I have had them revamped shall we say for want of a better word. She doesn't have a program and if ever there was a person who needs it, it is her. She grew up in the same dysfunctional home I did, with a mother who died when she was 13 because she used food to deal with her feeling and the acitons of our alcoholic father. Just the fact that I am her sister qualifies her, let alone the fact that her nephew is in active addiction.

I get a lot of condescention and holier than thou attitude which doesn't always sit well with me. It is not easy to stay calm when it happens.

It has helped having my son in another province. Much easier to be calm and accepting when he isn't around. I know I am as powerless over his disease as I am over my own, without the help of my God, there would be no sanity let alone serenity.