Intimacy

[caressa]

After looking at the list of characteristics, this one popped out at me today.

Every time I see the word now, I remember what a friend shared at a meeting. Intimacy means "Into Me Se" and that made a big difference for me.

I never wanted anyone to know the real me. I didn't want to know the real me, so why should i allow someone else to take a look.

My track record is not good for relationships. Often I was the one who broke them up and sabatoged them. If they got too close or too serious, I would end things especially if they were not going the way I wanted them to. Which meant, you keep your space and I will keep mine, which doesn't make for much intimacy.

Intimacy take communication. Something I was not good at. I could say the words, fast talk my way out of thngs, but often skirted around things and told them how I wanted you to see them rather than what they truly where.

We all know that FINE means "Flocked up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. That was my answer to everything. The role playing, the masks and the pretty speeches, prevented you from seeing the person within.

What you see is what you get. If I am hurting, I tell you. If I am not having a good day, I acknowledge it. This is a one day at a time program. I don't have to be Ms. Perfect any more. I can open up and allow others to see the real me, warts and all.

In-To-Me-See makes me wonder sometimes at the reflection. I am amazed and at other times I am disappointed. Some days I don't like what I see and yet I have to accept it. Other days, I do and for that, I need to give thanks.

[SunnyGirl]

thank you for sharing, well said!

Peace on the journey, SG

[caressa]

In-To-Me-See makes me wonder sometimes at the reflection. I am amazed and at other times I am disappointed. Some days I don't like what I see and yet I have to accept it. Other days, I do and for that, I need to give thanks.


Just read this, and thought I need to give it more thought in my life today.

I was going to sign out and I got the thought to check out some old posts and here is what I need in today. The message is always there, if I am open to receiving and listen to that voice within. When I isolate, I isolate my soul. When I close down feelings I don`t like, I shut myself off from my God and I can`t see the me within and I can`t be truly honest.

[Lin]

At our area assembly Saturday they had fliers for members to write articles and they will pick and compile a book. It is on intimacy and sex with an alcoholic.

I would have to search my memory a long way back to write for it, so I will decline. But it sounds like an interesting book. I look forward to reading it when they write it.

LIN

[caressa]

LOL! It isn't something I want to remember! When you consider that the first time I was raped it was by my first husband, it was issues I had to deal with. Along with that, the fact that I couldn't stand to be around my second husband unless I drank along with him, there are memories that are best forgotten. I covered it on my 4th and 5th and went for Sexual Assualt counseling when I was 15 years sober because the last relationship, when it broke up triggered a lot of feelings, an I didn't have cigarettes to stuff, and couldn't use food to deal with them.

As the slogan says, "Let it begin with me." It isn't about the other person, as it says in Step 10, it is a program of reflection, perception, and what we see in others, comes from within.