Dried-Up Alcohol

[caressa]

If I was at your house, I'd ask to use the bathroom and I'd go through the medicine cabinet and take whatever there. I don't need to know what it is. Sometimes I'd be up for days, saying the same thing over and over, chewing my tongue. Other times I'd be falling down, bouncing off the walls. Sometimes I'd get real 'regular'. And I probably took enough pills out of those wheels that there's no chance I'm going to get pregnant this century. - Bob D. (Alkie speaks)

Because I was raised to be a good little Christian girl, stealing didn't come easy for me, even when I was using. I would often try to justify it or talk you out of it but generally did it to your face.

I didn't think I was an alcoholic because I didn't have black outs, I could walk a straight line and had people tell me they never saw me drunk. All things that affirmed that I didn't have a problem.

When I got sober, I didn't realize how stoned I really was, especially when I drank and took the pills too. I would say, "Well I only had 5 drinks, that is nothing, I can't be drunk forgetting that I had a belly full of pills prior to drinking.

Even in my 'drinking' days, before I tried ti quit my way (substituting pills), I took two 222s before going to bed to prevent a hang over or so I said, not sure if I believed it.

I had black outs with the pills. Things I didn't remember doing or saying. I was taking medication that had a street name so it couldn't have been good. I heard people tell there drinking stories and I would think I didn't do that. Then when I got honest, I realized I had those same symptoms when taking the pills. As my drinking decreased, my pill intake increased. I had never heard about AA. When I got there, I found the solution. Don't drink and don't drug! Substitution doesn't work.

[majestyjo]

Many people take exception if you talk about drugs, whether it is street drugs or prescription drugs. The thing is, substituion doesn't work, and if you try to fill that void with other things, you end up addicted to another substance.

Alohol was like dried up alcohol. I knew I was an addict, but don't call me an alcoholic. Then there were people in the program who tried to tell me I wasn't an alkie, telling me they spilled more than I drank. Then I would go to that other Fellowship, and they told me that I didn't qualify as an addict because I only tried pot and hash once and didn't use other street drugs. It isn't the substance, the problem was always me, especially me and my attitude.

[majestyjo]

Drugs come in many forms. Liquid, solid, and the flesh and blood variety. Then you have food, work, computers, religion, gambling, and many other substances that lead to active addiction.