~A Pigeons First Christmas~

[Dean]

~A Pigeons First Christmas~[/size]

Christmas of 1998 was this pigeon's first sober Christmas. I went shopping with my sponsor, Gary B., whom I had met only a few months before but immediately started bonding with. We went to Hill’s Department Store and on the way out Gary B. tripped and fell to his hands and knees stumbling over the curb. It wouldn't have been that disastrous of an affair if it weren't for the fact that he only had one 'real' right leg and his left leg was prosthesis because he had lost his leg earlier that year. He was a brittle diabetic and as the result of a bad break in his foot and a missed diagnosis by a doctor, gangrene set in to his leg resulting in an amputation just below the knee. His false leg had buckled and given away and he needed to sit down. Luckily, the Salvation Army lady had vacated her seat at her station beside the kettle for donations to warm herself inside with a cup of coffee. We struggled and struggled and worked and finally got him up on her chair.

Gary B. then asked me to help him detach his leg because it had come undone and he needed to re-attach it. Having never done anything like this before in my life, I tried to push the button on the side of the leg to disengage the spring mechanism that held the leg onto the threaded steel post that protruded from a large heavy elastic stocking that covered the stump that remained. Instead of releasing the leg, I pulled the leg and the stocking off of Gary B.’s leg. Gary had blue jeans on and we couldn't get his pants leg up over the end of the stump far enough to put the stocking back on his leg which meant he couldn’t reattach the leg. His face fell and his spirit dropped because he thought that the day was over. He was looking for a gift for his fiancée and he couldn’t get out to do his shopping on his own.

The day had just started and we were having so much fun, joking and laughing and carrying on like ornery children in the toy department. We had been testing ladies perfumes, searching through hats and gloves and scarves. We had been fumbling through sweaters and puzzling over those confusing sizes. Gary tried several different ways to get his leg back on, and I calmly told him that we could go back home, put the leg back on and head back out shopping, again. Gary was not so certain that the shopping trip would continue and I wasn't so sure myself. So, I went to get the car leaving Gary B. sitting in the chair on the sidewalk in front of the store with his leg standing next to him.

I got to the car and sadly and slowly started to drive towards the front of the store. There was Gary B. sitting there helplessly flailing his arms and trying to shoo away a small, young boy who was trying to put a dollar inside of his artificial leg that was sitting next to the Salvation Army kettle! He was so embarrassed and angry with the boy and also at the way life had made him now -- he was unable to stand up and leave, and he was unable to walk on his own. I pulled up in the car. The young child's mother had caught up to the boy and was red-faced and terribly embarrassed. She was apologizing over and over once she realized what had happened. After retrieving it from inside the false leg, the young boy was given his dollar back and he happily and unknowingly deposited it into the kettle where it belonged.

I helped Gary B. into the car. I was so embarrassed and felt so guilty and responsible in part for the humiliation that Gary had to endure. Gary got into the car, still fuming and full of self-pity. Within minutes, we were at his house, the leg was re-attached and we were off again shopping for Christmas surprises. Gary was still carrying on a bit about the young boy whom he thought was being insensitive. I let him rant awhile and then asked him if I could say something that had just entered my mind. With permission granted I sheepishly said, "That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen." Not knowing how Gary would react, I followed with, "All you can do is laugh. Think about it. It was like a comedy on T.V." A smile broke out across Gary’s bearded face. And he said, "Hey! We can get rich! Let's go to Walmart and set up!"

We finished our shopping. The day brought us closer. We found joy and enjoyed that day. The day was saved by simple acceptance. Acceptance of what could be viewed as an embarrassing and humiliating occurrence that, instead, was an opportunity that brought two men closer together. Acceptance of closeness that this pigeon had never known before in my life kept the day alive. Gary B., my sponsor, accepted the bond he was developing with me. There truly was acceptance of a confused misunderstanding on the part of the young boy. That led the two of us to understand the joy of giving after seeing that little boy shining with the sweet and simple innocence of youth trying to help a crippled man whom he saw as less fortunate then himself. We learned acceptance of what life brings, regardless of what we want. Acceptance of the fact that even when it appears as though the good times are at an end, when it seems as though misfortune is final, when it seems as though pleasure is gone; love, hope and faith can be found. With acceptance, tolerance, gratitude and a willingness to find God's greatest virtues regardless of life's unusual and often seemingly cruel and often misunderstood twists and turns, life will, through His will and His grace, serenely go on.

Written November, 1998
Revised November 27th, 2005
Dean H.[/size]

[MrDuck]

That is something that you will remember to the end. Thanks for sharing it Dean. You know I am starting to get concerned. I have been around long enough to be one of them old timers they talk about haa haa. The old fart that did the most to help me get sober called me tonight and invited me over to his house this Saturday after the morning AA meeting for lefse. It is a yearly thing at his house. Every since him and I have bumped heads over 20 years ago we have had an on going love/hate relationship. Geeshhh, can you imagine someone not liking me. haha. Don't answer that. Last year I didn't go over because we where in one of our mmmmmm not getting along so good moods haha. But you know what. I cannot remember the last time that I haven't called him up around Christmas give or take a day and thank the old fart for all he has done for me. Doesn't matter wheter we are getting along or not, I still call him and thank him. The old boy is now in his 80's and has about 47 years soberity. Interesting now. Sometimes he is still the teacher and I am the student and some times we reverse the roles. He is not the mean, bullhead, blanky-blanky that he once was. Dern. Almost crying now as I wish he was still that why. Not every one wants someone like him in there lives as he really was head strong. But love him or hate him, he was exactly the type I needed. They have a nickname for me at AA here. It is Mr Focker. They use to call me ----------- oh never mind. Geeeee I wonder where I learned to by that way from haha. My friend Rocky might be older and more mellow. But his pigeon is still young enough to carry on what he did. I did not always agree with the way he did things and still don't. But this I have always know. What he did he did with good intentions. He did it with love and caring and the desire to help. My goal is to get even with that sucker and do unto others what he so freely gave to me. ( d**n tears) At the moment I am way behind. He is still very attact in AA. Still going to a few meetings a week and still speaking at open meetings. Any time I want to know how it works and if it works all I have to do is look at his life.

Wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Dean. Good to see you on the board again.

Ron
aka Mr Focker

[Dean]

Thank you for your reply, Ron. Yeah, I get a bit choked up when I think of Gary B. I also get kind of choked up when I think about my first sponsor over the internet whom I met at AEB one night. She sure did bring me a far way, too. And...God puts people into your lives for a time and sometimes those people move on. I can still love them where I'm at and where they're at. It doesn't change a bit.

Went out last night to BW3's for wings and chili fries and a couple of pitchers of Coke with a few buddies from the fellowship. We had a great time. Half of us were Steelers fans and half of us were Browns fans. Well...the Browns got their hats handed to them but ya know what...the most entertainment was in the crowd. One guy was whooping and hollering before kickoff and by the end of the first quarter was about chin down on the table in a pool of the foam he'd spilled. LOL Brought back (a lack of) memories of Browns football games that I never saw the end of...no wonder I'm still a Browns fan.

I love the way of life I have today. I owe an immeasurable debt of gratitude to the men who helped me, the men who help me and the men who will help me in the future. Those guys are wandering in through the doors now or maybe just haven't found the right directions on how to get here. I hope, God willing, I'll be able to stand there with my arms open and say to them the first words Gary B said to me,"Got a piece of paper and a pencil, BOY?" "If you do...write this down..." and from there I got his name, address and phone number and met probably one of the most important men in my life. *tears* yeah...it's a wonderful life.

Merry Christmas to you and your family, Ron you ..... old softy. See ya round the net brother.

Dean

[sunny]

Well Deano, that is a lovely story. It is good to see you are alive and well, even if the names and faces have changed over the years. I remember my first XMAS too as I had gotten sober in September. With great trepidation I got through it spending the day at my sponsors house. She's not around anymore, but I am.

G-d Bless!

SuNNy

[Dean]

OMG! What a blast from the past! It's good to hear from you, too, suNNy. Geeze...it's been forever! I hope you are well....I'm still being a jerk online. ;D

Whelp, I'm up to late and heading for bed.

Have a good Holiday!

[caressa]

My first Christmas seems like yesterday. I graduated from Mary Ellis Treatment House on the 13th of December. I went to my sister's for the holiday thinking it was a safe place as they don't drink. My brother-in-law may have a beer with the guys once in a while and will by a six pack and keep it in the fridge for a year in case someone drops in. I opened a cupboard door and there was a Texas Mickie sitting there as bold as you please. They won it at their Christmas Bowling Party. Those that don't drink always seem to get the big ones. LOL.

I didn't feel like drinking, yet I felt anger that what I thought was a safe place wasn't and that they jeoprodized my sobriety. I was later to learn, everything is an inanimate objest until such a time as I chose to pick it up. The bottle couldn't hurt me, only my thinking and action that followed could. Christmas was just another day to live one day at a time.

We have an Area Socia Club that holds meetings from the 24th of December until Jan. 1, 24 hours a day. I spent Boxing day and New Year Eve and Day there. In later years, I went there to give back what was so freely given to me.

I know Pigeon is a long time expression, but if you lived here in Hamilton where they are such a pest and such a dirty animal, you might think twice about calling a newcomer such a derrgatory name. Newcomers have low self-esteem, self-worth, self-respect when they get here it doesn't seem right to give them such a name. Pigeons were carried messages, it seems to me the sponsor should be the Pigeons, not the newcomer.

[caressa222]

In the program for 28 years and I still cringe when I hear the word. Pigeons are dirty, greedy, cheeky little devils and I don't care if a newcomer can have the same attributes. We need to encourage them that they deserve recovery and not put them down. They have had enough abuse.