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Post by caressa on Aug 1, 2011 8:56:11 GMT -5
No matter how hard you attempt to control the people in your life, you will not find your fulfillment there. If they don't change, you will be frustrated; if they do change under your pressure, they will be frustrated.
If I look to others for fulfillment, I will never be fulfilled.
- Pocket Sponsor
For so many years, I lived my life through others. If they would only do what I 'told' them to do or 'thought' they should do, what a wonderful plac my world would be.
I hinged my world onto theirs and my happiness depended on them and I put my life on hold, waiting for them to see the light.
I manipulated, conned, hinted, etc. my way into a soul sickness that was just as unhealthy as theirs were. It was no longer about them, it was about me.
I had to turn my thinkng and obsessive ways over to my Higher Power and ask for help. I had to learn to work the slogan "Live and Let Live" into my life. The key word "Live" my own life and let them live theirs.
I would try to contol my actions and thoughts, when in fact, all I had to do was turn them over to my Higher Power and through Him/Her, learn to live a better way of life.
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Control
Aug 2, 2011 12:41:21 GMT -5
Post by BW on Aug 2, 2011 12:41:21 GMT -5
Thanx...Great reminders
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Control
Aug 2, 2011 14:26:41 GMT -5
Post by SunnyGirl on Aug 2, 2011 14:26:41 GMT -5
Nar-Anon is such a simple program, but unfortunately we
are complicated people....... Most people who have codependent personalities are good people and their
motive is to help or fix their loved ones. These acts are
acts of love... or a least that's how I see it. Unfortunately,
I like many, didn't realize that I wasn't helping but hurting
their chances to get clean and sober. I know they were
just as frustrated with me as I was with them....
12-step recovery is my saving grace.... It's allowed me to
take the focus off of those around me and put the spot
light on myself. I am responsible for my personal space,
my happiness begins with me. Yes I still enjoy doing
things for my qualifiers, but I'm no longer willing to cushion
them before they fall or enable them to continue on their
path. I have a full time job just taking care of me....
Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl
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Control
Aug 6, 2011 20:54:08 GMT -5
Post by caressa on Aug 6, 2011 20:54:08 GMT -5
It not only made me sick trying to control my alcoholic/addict, it made me sick, trying to control my own life.
I didn't realize that control was an illusion and as much as I thought I was in control, it just wasn't so. I had to learn to turn things over to my Higher Power and allow things to unfold as He would have them be.
I did the foot work. I had the dreams and ideals, yet often they were not reality and often if I had gotten them, what would I have done with it!
I have to chuckle when I go to buy a Lotto 649 Jackpot. If it is over 3 million $s, I tend to doubt whether I should buy one, what if I won it? I can see keeping a M$ for myself and giving one each to my sister's but after that, really don't have much use for all that money. What if I decided I could now 'afford' to drink and keep myself in the style I would like to become accustomed to. Would all that money change my priorities? That is a scarey thought.
It isn't about the A in my life, it is about me and my attitude and my thinking that can get me into trouble. Best to turn it over to my HP who is much more qualified to handle it.
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Post by majestyjo on Mar 4, 2017 4:42:23 GMT -5
Control is one of the C words. Eat can eat away at my soul. I must remember that I didn't cause it, can't control it, and I can't change it, I don't have the Power.
When I go to the Source, the God of my understanding, He will show me the way to change myself. Quite often I did cause it because I chose not to live the program, which causes unmanageabiity in my life for myself and others. I didn't cause the dis-ease within someone else, that was their choice.
With the program, I have freedom of choice, when I put my life into the Care of the God of my understanding. As the slogan says, "Let it begin with me."
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Control
Jun 22, 2018 1:51:24 GMT -5
Post by majestyjo on Jun 22, 2018 1:51:24 GMT -5
If you have to control it, it is already out of control. I don't have the power, but when i surrender and turn things over to my Higher Power, i am empowered to do what I need to do in today.  |
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.