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Post by caressa on Aug 11, 2011 19:34:01 GMT -5
Recovery has given me many gifts, but the greatest one has been finding myself. Every time I picked up, I gave away a piece of me. There wasn't much 'me' left when i came into recovery. As I have said many times, what was there was very fragmented, and through the program, I was able to put 'me' back together again. I lived my life through others and had very little identity of my own. It was through the people in the rooms, that reflected my inner soul and allowed me to find myself. Attachments:
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Post by caressa on Aug 14, 2011 15:40:05 GMT -5
So much of my life was spent in fear. So many things i didn't do because I was afraid to do them. Things I wanted to do but just never thought myself capable of doing them. I wanted to be a teacher and never went to school. Yet for most of my life, I taught on the job and trained others.
I was not willing to take the risk and take that next step. I always wanted to travel but could never afford to do much because of my fears, I found false courage in alcohol.
My second husband wouldn't allow me to colour my hair and buy make up. I got to a place where I didn't care. I have a picture of me at 39, where I looked older than I did at 49. At 57, the best year of my life, I looked 10+ years younger than I was did.
My sponsor told me to clean up my personna, my mouth and my actions. If you have recovery show it.
One of the reasons that I quit smoking was because I wanted to be a clean and clear channel. It was the only thing that gave me any willingness to quit because health issues didn't scare me because I had an attitude of "What is the use. I have been smoking this long, what difference does it make now." A very defeatest attitude and one that followed me for much of my life. I had to give myself to permission to do things and give myself pep talks to rally myself out of complacency and depression.
The 12 Steps are applicable to all areas of my lfie.
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Post by BW on Aug 15, 2011 11:15:28 GMT -5
There is a line in the Big Book that I like to barrow.."When I found recovery I found God and when I found God I found me." For me, the greatest gift was finding God.
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Post by caressa on Aug 17, 2011 2:25:20 GMT -5
At a year sober and went on a spiritual journey. Check out many things. One of the biggest gifts was learning to meditate. Learning to be alone, to be with me, to be still and as my sponsor said, "You have your own answers." Turning things over to my Higher Power, asking for my own inner knowingness and getting to know myself, the part that needed changing and the parts that needed nurturing. One of the greatest gifts has been the feeling of being touched by God and know that healing is taking place. Just sitting there with the tears running down your face. And as I have said many times, getting my zig to go with my zag. I had felt like my lower body had been frozen ecause of abuse. I lost the fear of putting the wrong foot forward. I no longer walked in fear, unless I chose o stay in it or couldn' see my way out of it. Often having to pray for the willingness to be willing. I liked the NA reading today. It talks about truth. What is my trurth. I pray that I may always walk in it and follow it, no mater what relationship I am in, with my God, with myself, and with others.
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Post by SunnyGirl on Aug 17, 2011 14:30:40 GMT -5
There is a line in the Big Book that I like to barrow.."When I found recovery I found God and when I found God I found me." For me, the greatest gift was finding God. (((((BW))))) a most excellent quote! I'm not sure who found who first, I found God many years ago, but recovery helped me to renew our relationship! Peace on the journey, SG
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Post by majestyjo on Feb 18, 2015 15:43:06 GMT -5
Like this SG, I had to renew my relationship. More importantly, I had to change my attitude and my outlook and open my mind to new things. I found God to be so much more than I had ever known Him to be before. Attachments:
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 9, 2019 12:25:10 GMT -5
The greatest gift of recovery. Finding me and learning to love who I found. I thought she was lost and long gone.
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